Turbulence

Turbulence

January 25, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

Agitation, bluster, commotion, disorder, disturbance, fight, battle, struggle, fracas, frenzy, fury, havoc, tumult, turmoil uproar, confusion, fuss, perturbation, chaos, disquiet, doubt, anxiety, insecurity, indecision, self-doubt, uncertainty, skepticism, vacillation, irritation, torrent; these negative emotions hit me at once all through the week but more so this morning as a number of events didn't turn up the way they were originally planned.

Like most people, I abhor bringing out my vulnerable side but I MUST release all the bad energy. 

1) I woke up with a sore throat, raspy voice, a runny nose and felt light headed the entire day.

2) One or two projects didn't comply with the set deadline due to unexpected circumstances. That only added on to my irritation because they have been put off since my physical health stumbled. 

3) I took a test to improve my professional profile but according to the chief editor who checked my work, I didn't pass. I was infuriated because there wasn't a chance to rebuttal that matter. I argued (I only take an issue further when I know I am right and there's backup information to prove my point, plus an editor colleague of mine double checked my work and corroborated what I already knew ). And that is exactly what I did, asked to let me prove them wrong, the disagreement was over-with shortly after. Needless to say, drop it, accept it, move on and forget it.

4) About 10 days ago, a client of mine asked me for an interpretation quote for an event taking place in February. Three days later after the third time I called at no avail, she finally emailed me and implied that they don't have a budget to pay for my services so this made me doubt my knowledge, skills and expertise. I've been questioning myself since Monday and wondering if it was really that or if she was not too happy with my previous work. Deep down it is only my mind torturing me because she wouldn't have called, I tend to dramatize. As the chicken little I tend to become, (Chicken Little is a folk tale with a moral in the form of a cumulative tale about a chicken who believes the world is coming to an end). Chicken Little's famous phrase, "The sky is falling!" clearly shows a hysteria or the mistaken belief that disaster is forthcoming. 

5) Another potential client requested an interpretation quote for a three day congress in February but she has not returned my call.

6) Another client I've quoted three other times before, requested a 145 page procedure manual. Three days later he has not returned my call which I didn't react too well since those things have to get done as of  yesterday.

7) I've been playing phone and email tags with another potential client who needs some personal documents translated. It just seemed like our agendas didn't coincide. Perhaps next week we'll have better luck!

8) I bought two tickets for Moenia's concert tomorrow night which almost made my thrill dissipate since ticket master was having some difficulties. I called yesterday and got it done without a problem until I picked them up today. The sales person on the phone neglected to let me know my cc is/was necessary when I picked up the tickets. After impatiently waiting for more than fifteen minutes I stormed out infuriated because my time was very limited and I was very behind as usual. 

9) Yesterday, I had an unexpected visitor who stirred fear. Not because I didn't want to see him but because there is a lot at stake…. every time I think of him, I loathe his circumstances and I wonder if his struggle is worth while. 

10) On my way to pick up the tickets for the second time, there was a shooting on plain daylight. I was walking right by cameras, journalists, armed police officers and federal agents. A vehicle was following another one to kidnap the victim. I must have been too caught up on my own misadventure that I was not fearful in the least. While I waited for the traffic to flow again, the meddling journalist I am/was,  got the full scope out of the store security man. LOL!

11) The project manager at the company who I do editing/translation work sometimes is out on vacation so I have not received any work from them in about two weeks. I am going bananas, cannot wait till I've got my momentum once again.

All these irritable little obstacles aligned to make me feel YUCK! until I went to church to help cleanse all the negative thoughts and feelings. Now I shall go to bed and rest without any concern because I am very assertive that when it all else fails, praying will be my most unyielding emotional sustenance….

and tomorrow will be a better day.