It is NOT tragic

It is NOT tragic

January 29, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

While I did a quick scan of the news earlier today, I bumped into an article about Dakota Fanning's interview for Glamour magazine. I frankly didn't read the whole interview, the only segment that captured my eye was her intake on relationships. 

"I don't really date," I have a weird vision of relationships because my parents have known each other since second grade, and they got married right out of college. I've always thought that's what it's supposed to be like, and if it's not, then I don't want to waste my time on it. Even when I was 14, I was like, "I'm not going to marry this person, what's the point doing it?"

What I admire about Dakota, is her entire outlook, focusing on the whole picture as opposed to living a limitless life, pleasuring her youth and jumping from one set of arms to another without giving herself a chance to assimilate things and allowing herself to rebound.

I was not as determined as her when I was 18, I wanted to meet boys, go out with many of them and "fall in love, fall out of love and fall right back in love.

As of three, four years ago,  the more I pondered on dating and relationships, the less I understood the matter and it made me reassure what I always believed deep down. Dating is sort of like going to bed within the first or second encounter and sharing one another's body's occasionally until "THE" one is met. 

After one trial and error and another, I turned into a more confident woman who slowly started developing more boundaries to avoid putting unnecessary time into unsuccessful relationships. I say no right off the bat when I know that is not for me. Now that I am more at ease, I've evolved into a more selfish woman (This is perhaps not good and I am not proud to admit it, but I am) in many ways.

I long for my episodes of solitariness because that is when I get to know myself more, I do the things that I want to do and so forth.

Love and relationships are reflexions that randomly navigate through my mind; I believe in love and relationships but more so, I firmly believe in a monogamous life-lasting relationship, the way I was taught, the way I witnessed granny Hal and Mary Lou's marriage born and thrive till death did them apart. 

These life learning lessons made me take marriage seriously and NOT commit if I felt with the heart that that specific man at that particular moment was not the one. 

It is now very clear to me that a man should do his manly job at all times respect, provide, protect, listen, understand, guide his family and be a good example to us, love me and my body for what it can create, not for the way it looks, teach our children morals, values, respect, ethics, patience, loyalty, compassion and integrity in order for them to pass all of this on to future generations. 

And I will play my womanly role by listening, serving, comforting, being patient, nurturing, being a role model to the humans I will bear. 

These reciprocated gifts will be saved till l I meet "THE" one, if it is meant to be. What I know for sure is that I will NOT waste my time dating one man after another only for the mere fact of not being alone. I no longer believe in dating. 

I don't want to ever give room for the gap of lonesomeness to widen more. I don't want to use a man who I don't love to fill that emptiness. I'd rather be alone (but not lonely) because love can be manifested in many ways and there are many lonely souls hungry for love in this planet