I just typed up a whole book but it erased so I won’t spend too much time doing the whole thing again, I´ll only point out a few important things about Alianza de Mujeres “Alliance of women” a meeting I attended last Thursday and I’ll share some words that will help everyone reflect.
Looking back at the 70’s, 80,s and recent years women’s right weren’t promoted as much as they’ve been the last few years. The Mexican government is now encouraging women to work out of their homes and reach their professional goals. Even though we still have a long way to go, things have evolved slowly but surely and I am very fortunate to be part of life now, I don’t know what it would’ve been like for me many years ago. The closest I can get is to older women telling stories of how repressed they were when they were growing up in the 1930's, 1940's 1950's.
As a woman I know that we have to face a thousand challenges in and out of our homes every day and Alianza de Mujeres is there to walk with us hand in hand and show us a world full of opportunities for us. Our guest Licenciado Jorge Aguilar Sahagun took the risk to talk to us about many advantages and disadvantages of being a woman. I have to say that he was very blunt but I’d rather him be straight forward than lie. Not every woman there agreed though, I could see some heads nodding in shock and disagreement but he made it clear from the beginning that he wasn’t there to please anyone or much less to befriend anyone.
One of the comments most of the ladies there liked was when he said that many people tend to stay stuck in a comfort zone, we are full of good intentions but we leave everything for “mañana” tomorrow, we have endless excuses for everything.
I can recall many more things but it’s getting late and I’ve had a long day today, plus (excuses, excuses, excuses) I can’t miss my morning run tomorrow so I have to get my beauty sleep and re-energize.
“Comfort zone”
I used to have a “comfort zone”
Where I knew I couldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busy work
Were really more like jail.
I longed so much, to do the things
I’ve never done before,
But I stayed inside my comfort zone”
And paced the same old floor.
I said it didn’t matter
That I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things
Like houses, freedom and such.
I claimed to be busy with
The things inside the “Zone”
But deep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.
I couldn’t let my life go by
Just watching others win!
I held my breath and stepped outside
To let the chances begin!
I took a step and with new strength
I’ve never felt before,
I kissed my “Comfort Zone” good-bye
And closed and locked the door!
If you are in a “comfort Zone”
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile;
Success is there for YOU!!
Somebody is always winning
It might as well be YOU!!
Spirituality, family, work and business ethics, health and fitness, charity work, reading, playing with words, reflecting and embracing the simplicity of life...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Culture Shock
If you are expecting life and everything in Guadalajara to be exactly the same as it is in your own country, you need to wake up and smell the coffee because that is not going to happen in a million years. When moving to another country you have to be prepared mentally, physically, culturally and you have to be well aware that there will be many ups and downs and disappointments to face. At times you will feel like taking the first plane back home but it is only a matter of adjusting so don’t be intimidated and take each strike as it comes.
Going as far back as uhm, last night. I was supposed to go out to dinner with a friend but he flaked out on me, he didn’t call to cancel, he didn’t text, didn’t send an email, nothing. I am not surprised because it has happened numerous times with everyone not only him. By now my mind is set to not get disappointed even though that is one of my biggest pet peeves because I play by the same rules with everyone, I don’t like doing anything I don’t like people doing to me. I am not upset because I wasn’t expecting anything, it was about meeting new people since I am always enslaved to work and establishing a friendship relationship, perhaps I should’ve made it clear but it slipped out like many things. By now I am used to coming across unpunctual, flaky, uninterested or just plain rude people who always tell me to relax and wonder why foreigners always go “by the book” What makes things worse is that most of those flakes call a few days or weeks later as if nothing had happened asking to meet again only so they can get another chance to leave you all dressed up with nowhere to go.
All those small differences are not such a huge culture shock to me because of my Mexican side, I’d say I am more Mexican than tamales and pozole but that is not what a friend of mine thinks, he once said to me, “You are very Mexican, only your last name and the color of your skin” and he laughed. I totally disagree with that, the fact of being dark skinned doesn’t guarantee that I am Mexican. When it comes to being on time when meeting someone I am very respectful with their time unlike many tapatios. I’ve experienced all these informalities ever since I can remember. The first person I know of doing that was my father, I despised it every time he’d say “dame 5 minutos,” give me 5 minutes. I later learned that for Mexicans 5 minutos can mean an hour, two, three, four, however long they may please. So now when I meet someone at any given moment I ask them, “are we meeting at 5pm (puntualidad Mexicana) real time or Mexico time?” only to clarify because I don’t like to waste my time sitting around waiting for people and I cannot play their game, I can never be late unless something goes wrong. Another few phrases I will always rant and rave about are, “ya veremos – we’ll see, relajate – relax, para que hacer planes? haber que sale – Why make plans?, we’ll play it by ear and see what happens.
When I came to Guadalajara I was under the wrong perception, I thought I’d forget my English because nobody spoke it here but little did I know that I was completely wrong! I use English for everything, teach, translate, write, I speak it with everyone. Sometimes I knock on my neighbor’s door to chat with her in Spanish because all my friends speak English! I tried to befriend a few people here but they were simply not interested. At the beginning I thought it was me, maybe I wasn’t projecting the right message so I discussed it with other foreigners and it’s happened to them as well I got a better scope of the whole enchilada. People are simply not interested in letting outsiders in “their circle.” Some say that it is culture, that they feel safer because there is so much crime happening in Mexico nowadays. Do they even come close to realizing that it’s human beings who make culture? It seems as if they wear a mask called culture and they hide behind it to dump all their excuses and insecurities behind.
I used to get extremely infuriated especially one time when my accountant was quite late one night when he was supposed to pick up some invoices at 7pm. I felt as if he was playing with my time and like if I wasn’t being taken seriously. 7:15, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, and 9:30 he didn’t show up. Finally at 10:00 the door bell rang and it was him! Needless to say I almost passed out because I was very angry. I picked up the receiver and told him to come back another day. He was not happy at all but at that point I didn't care.
I remember an American friend saying once, “I am becoming too much like the people here” when we were supposed to meet one weekend and he totally vanished, he didn't call me until the following Monday. I told him, to hell with that shit! that is not an excuse, I am Mexican and I don’t care how long I’ve been here or who does that, I always go by my rules when it comes to these things.
As I get older I’ve become more selective with many things in life, one of them is choosing who I spend time with and surround myself with serious and respectful people because it is my time being put at stake, it is very valuable and nobody will give it back to me.
This also reminds me of the institution where I did volunteer work last year and I’m still working on a project with them. I always wanted to have a library at my place but I thought, “why not do it for somebody else?”
I made all the arrangements, talked to bookstores to donate us books, finally I got the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro) to do it, they agreed immediately but the institution is always making excuses so the project keeps being put off, it’s been 8 months now and I feel powerless because it is not up to me. About a week and a half ago I emailed the coordinator to ask if the books had been delivered but she hasn’t replied. I am very disappointed because that is one of my lifetime projects and I had set myself a time goal. It’s hard for me to cope and I will never accept it but at the same time I can’t let them get to me.
Something many Mexicans as well as myself have to learn to say is “NO.” people here are frightened to say no, they always say, “yes, yes, yes!” to everything even if they are well aware that they can’t compromise. So they rather say yes to avoid hurting peoples' feelings but it is ironic and contradicting, they rather flake out, not call, not show up. Do they realize that is even worse? They always say it’s a “culture” thing. Once again they hide behind their masks. I’d much rather people tell me “no” to something they don’t want to do instead of lying but I can’t change people, change starts within and I am the only one I have control over so I don’t waste my time with people like that.
Going as far back as uhm, last night. I was supposed to go out to dinner with a friend but he flaked out on me, he didn’t call to cancel, he didn’t text, didn’t send an email, nothing. I am not surprised because it has happened numerous times with everyone not only him. By now my mind is set to not get disappointed even though that is one of my biggest pet peeves because I play by the same rules with everyone, I don’t like doing anything I don’t like people doing to me. I am not upset because I wasn’t expecting anything, it was about meeting new people since I am always enslaved to work and establishing a friendship relationship, perhaps I should’ve made it clear but it slipped out like many things. By now I am used to coming across unpunctual, flaky, uninterested or just plain rude people who always tell me to relax and wonder why foreigners always go “by the book” What makes things worse is that most of those flakes call a few days or weeks later as if nothing had happened asking to meet again only so they can get another chance to leave you all dressed up with nowhere to go.
All those small differences are not such a huge culture shock to me because of my Mexican side, I’d say I am more Mexican than tamales and pozole but that is not what a friend of mine thinks, he once said to me, “You are very Mexican, only your last name and the color of your skin” and he laughed. I totally disagree with that, the fact of being dark skinned doesn’t guarantee that I am Mexican. When it comes to being on time when meeting someone I am very respectful with their time unlike many tapatios. I’ve experienced all these informalities ever since I can remember. The first person I know of doing that was my father, I despised it every time he’d say “dame 5 minutos,” give me 5 minutes. I later learned that for Mexicans 5 minutos can mean an hour, two, three, four, however long they may please. So now when I meet someone at any given moment I ask them, “are we meeting at 5pm (puntualidad Mexicana) real time or Mexico time?” only to clarify because I don’t like to waste my time sitting around waiting for people and I cannot play their game, I can never be late unless something goes wrong. Another few phrases I will always rant and rave about are, “ya veremos – we’ll see, relajate – relax, para que hacer planes? haber que sale – Why make plans?, we’ll play it by ear and see what happens.
When I came to Guadalajara I was under the wrong perception, I thought I’d forget my English because nobody spoke it here but little did I know that I was completely wrong! I use English for everything, teach, translate, write, I speak it with everyone. Sometimes I knock on my neighbor’s door to chat with her in Spanish because all my friends speak English! I tried to befriend a few people here but they were simply not interested. At the beginning I thought it was me, maybe I wasn’t projecting the right message so I discussed it with other foreigners and it’s happened to them as well I got a better scope of the whole enchilada. People are simply not interested in letting outsiders in “their circle.” Some say that it is culture, that they feel safer because there is so much crime happening in Mexico nowadays. Do they even come close to realizing that it’s human beings who make culture? It seems as if they wear a mask called culture and they hide behind it to dump all their excuses and insecurities behind.
I used to get extremely infuriated especially one time when my accountant was quite late one night when he was supposed to pick up some invoices at 7pm. I felt as if he was playing with my time and like if I wasn’t being taken seriously. 7:15, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, and 9:30 he didn’t show up. Finally at 10:00 the door bell rang and it was him! Needless to say I almost passed out because I was very angry. I picked up the receiver and told him to come back another day. He was not happy at all but at that point I didn't care.
I remember an American friend saying once, “I am becoming too much like the people here” when we were supposed to meet one weekend and he totally vanished, he didn't call me until the following Monday. I told him, to hell with that shit! that is not an excuse, I am Mexican and I don’t care how long I’ve been here or who does that, I always go by my rules when it comes to these things.
As I get older I’ve become more selective with many things in life, one of them is choosing who I spend time with and surround myself with serious and respectful people because it is my time being put at stake, it is very valuable and nobody will give it back to me.
This also reminds me of the institution where I did volunteer work last year and I’m still working on a project with them. I always wanted to have a library at my place but I thought, “why not do it for somebody else?”
I made all the arrangements, talked to bookstores to donate us books, finally I got the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro) to do it, they agreed immediately but the institution is always making excuses so the project keeps being put off, it’s been 8 months now and I feel powerless because it is not up to me. About a week and a half ago I emailed the coordinator to ask if the books had been delivered but she hasn’t replied. I am very disappointed because that is one of my lifetime projects and I had set myself a time goal. It’s hard for me to cope and I will never accept it but at the same time I can’t let them get to me.
Something many Mexicans as well as myself have to learn to say is “NO.” people here are frightened to say no, they always say, “yes, yes, yes!” to everything even if they are well aware that they can’t compromise. So they rather say yes to avoid hurting peoples' feelings but it is ironic and contradicting, they rather flake out, not call, not show up. Do they realize that is even worse? They always say it’s a “culture” thing. Once again they hide behind their masks. I’d much rather people tell me “no” to something they don’t want to do instead of lying but I can’t change people, change starts within and I am the only one I have control over so I don’t waste my time with people like that.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Booties
Gina Roman
May 23, 2010
Walking down the street on plain daylight the other day I came close to having a heart attack when this shameless daring young man in his early twenties, passed right by me with his arm stretched outright towards me, my back was facing him so I was unable to see his cruel intentions.
His arm landed right on my ass but not only was he happy with slapping it, he squeezed it really hard with both hands that I ended up getting two bruises on my butt cheeks. How could he miss the chance of “only” rubbing it when he could go further?
I’ve always wondered why people think that they just can cross someone’s line and touch other peoples’ bodies.
I can’t deny that the mere thought has crossed my mind a million times when I bump into a man with a nice bootie or when I happen to be driving and a cyclist passes by, I’ve always wanted to stretch out my arm and squeeze his buns but I will not do it because one of my many golden rules in life is not to do anything I don’t like to be done to me. There’s a famous quote by Benito Juarez one of Mexico’s presidents 1858-1872, “El respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz.” the respect to other people's rights is peace.
I hope it doesn’t happen again but I know that it will sooner or later, I am certain that almost every single woman has been through that so next time it happens I pray that it is a nice looking man and in that case whoever that smoking hot man is, we can negotiate it.
I don’t have a hard time controlling myself because there aren’t that many nice men’s booties to select from. Since I’ve been here I’ve only known three men with nice behinds, one of them was my trainer at a gym I used to work out at. He had an amazing round bubble butt; it takes back my memory to one day when we were training. We were standing in front of the mirror and he bent down to show me this butt exercise, I couldn’t help but glare at that humongous round thing right on my face. So I didn’t realize that he was looking right at me and he told me straight out “Look at my feet not at my ass!”
I was kind of embarrassed at first but then we both laughed, he knew that his butt caught many ladies eyes so he didn’t mind it at all.
The second butt belongs to a capoeira instructor ( I never even got his name) that I tried lessons with but I couldn’t concentrate. I only ended up taking two, maybe three classes because I couldn’t get all the moves together plus the lack of concentration didn’t allow me to take better advantage.
The third behind belongs to a dear friend of mine, it is hard not to stare at it because it is so nice and firm and it is just there.
One day we went to have dinner and the restaurant was upstairs so I was walking behind him and I made a comment, I can’t even recall what I said but he told me “well, don’t look at it!”
So I told him, “look dude, what am I supposed to do? It is right on my face, I can’t avoid staring at it, and at least I didn’t slap it or squeeze it!”
We still get a good laugh about it every time we remember that night.
So ladies if you are very visual like me, if you like men with nice booties Guadalajara isn’t the place to be, now for men it is another story because there are a lot of very voluptuous women out there to choose from. But my point is men so when I think of that extinguishable gender, one of the first things I notice about them is their butts, faces, arms and abs.
Not to mention the fact that there are many “men” with amazing bodies, like the other day I went to Angels – a gay bar with a few people, my female friends and I walked out of there all frustrated because we saw all these gorgeous guys making out with each other and they wouldn’t even pay attention to us.
That is one of the downsides for women in this city, but don’t let that scare you away, there are many pleasant things to do and enjoy.
May 23, 2010
Walking down the street on plain daylight the other day I came close to having a heart attack when this shameless daring young man in his early twenties, passed right by me with his arm stretched outright towards me, my back was facing him so I was unable to see his cruel intentions.
His arm landed right on my ass but not only was he happy with slapping it, he squeezed it really hard with both hands that I ended up getting two bruises on my butt cheeks. How could he miss the chance of “only” rubbing it when he could go further?
I’ve always wondered why people think that they just can cross someone’s line and touch other peoples’ bodies.
I can’t deny that the mere thought has crossed my mind a million times when I bump into a man with a nice bootie or when I happen to be driving and a cyclist passes by, I’ve always wanted to stretch out my arm and squeeze his buns but I will not do it because one of my many golden rules in life is not to do anything I don’t like to be done to me. There’s a famous quote by Benito Juarez one of Mexico’s presidents 1858-1872, “El respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz.” the respect to other people's rights is peace.
I hope it doesn’t happen again but I know that it will sooner or later, I am certain that almost every single woman has been through that so next time it happens I pray that it is a nice looking man and in that case whoever that smoking hot man is, we can negotiate it.
I don’t have a hard time controlling myself because there aren’t that many nice men’s booties to select from. Since I’ve been here I’ve only known three men with nice behinds, one of them was my trainer at a gym I used to work out at. He had an amazing round bubble butt; it takes back my memory to one day when we were training. We were standing in front of the mirror and he bent down to show me this butt exercise, I couldn’t help but glare at that humongous round thing right on my face. So I didn’t realize that he was looking right at me and he told me straight out “Look at my feet not at my ass!”
I was kind of embarrassed at first but then we both laughed, he knew that his butt caught many ladies eyes so he didn’t mind it at all.
The second butt belongs to a capoeira instructor ( I never even got his name) that I tried lessons with but I couldn’t concentrate. I only ended up taking two, maybe three classes because I couldn’t get all the moves together plus the lack of concentration didn’t allow me to take better advantage.
The third behind belongs to a dear friend of mine, it is hard not to stare at it because it is so nice and firm and it is just there.
One day we went to have dinner and the restaurant was upstairs so I was walking behind him and I made a comment, I can’t even recall what I said but he told me “well, don’t look at it!”
So I told him, “look dude, what am I supposed to do? It is right on my face, I can’t avoid staring at it, and at least I didn’t slap it or squeeze it!”
We still get a good laugh about it every time we remember that night.
So ladies if you are very visual like me, if you like men with nice booties Guadalajara isn’t the place to be, now for men it is another story because there are a lot of very voluptuous women out there to choose from. But my point is men so when I think of that extinguishable gender, one of the first things I notice about them is their butts, faces, arms and abs.
Not to mention the fact that there are many “men” with amazing bodies, like the other day I went to Angels – a gay bar with a few people, my female friends and I walked out of there all frustrated because we saw all these gorgeous guys making out with each other and they wouldn’t even pay attention to us.
That is one of the downsides for women in this city, but don’t let that scare you away, there are many pleasant things to do and enjoy.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Last night and the night before I got hardly any sleep because the careless neighbors had this extremely scandalous party, they were blasting the stereo. I'm surprised they didn't blow up their apartment! I guess I had to use my time productively since I couldn’t sleep. These two sleepless nights gave me some time to look back and think about how I’ve been lacking the discipline to do a few of the things I enjoy the most in life; working out, reading and writing. Many times I think I can’t get in better shape or that it is impossible to achieve that, to read and write more because there are tons of things going on in one day.
That’s how it’s been since I came to Guadalajara, it’s always one thing or another and I lack the discipline that I used to have when I used to compete. I still remember those awesome moments when the only thing I had to do was switch my frequency to nun mode. I’d just train and work, work and train. Unlike here, every week I keep thinking “this weekend” I won’t let anything distract me, I will not get thrown of the curve and I will commit myself 100% to my workout, to writing another article or to start reading a new book, until someone calls to invite me to a bar, someone else calls to catch up, or a family member demands more time. That brings back many hilarious memories of my mother many years ago when I was still living at home, she used to call me out of the blue, it didn’t matter what I was doing, I had to answer the phone otherwise she’d be offended when all she wanted was me to stop by the store on my way home and get a "kilo de tortillas" for dinner.
I have to admit that I feel guilty when people ask me, “how do you manage your time, how do you stay in such good shape, how can you read so many books and write so much, how can you manage to do charity work?.” What seems impressive to them is not good enough for me because I always demand more from myself; I've always juggled more than one thing at once, that is what really keeps me going. I can be a perfectionist even though I am such an imperfect human being.
The reason I feel bad is because they’re under the impression that I am so disciplined. Honestly speaking, I am very disciplined but many times I am not, especially when I’m not feeling my best. I use that as an excuse to procrastinate and I leave many things on the back burner. I always tell myself that I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for that but then I look at my role models, a few amazing women and I am left in awe because some of them are not only in much better shape than I am but they are married, they are moms, they run their own business and they still make time to look amazingly great!
Even though I do have many activities, I come short compared to what all those women have going on their lives. There isn’t really any excuse nor do I need any “buts” or “ifs” and I desperately need to do something to improve every aspect of my life so I can help myself and others too. But before that happens I have to be in good terms with my inner person, meaning that I need to be a better person.
But, it's not me! It's Guadalajara, after all, many people come here to release all the tension in their lives and they get side-tracked. They drink more, they go out more, they meet more people they work less. Ha, ha! There isn't really any excuse!
That’s how it’s been since I came to Guadalajara, it’s always one thing or another and I lack the discipline that I used to have when I used to compete. I still remember those awesome moments when the only thing I had to do was switch my frequency to nun mode. I’d just train and work, work and train. Unlike here, every week I keep thinking “this weekend” I won’t let anything distract me, I will not get thrown of the curve and I will commit myself 100% to my workout, to writing another article or to start reading a new book, until someone calls to invite me to a bar, someone else calls to catch up, or a family member demands more time. That brings back many hilarious memories of my mother many years ago when I was still living at home, she used to call me out of the blue, it didn’t matter what I was doing, I had to answer the phone otherwise she’d be offended when all she wanted was me to stop by the store on my way home and get a "kilo de tortillas" for dinner.
I have to admit that I feel guilty when people ask me, “how do you manage your time, how do you stay in such good shape, how can you read so many books and write so much, how can you manage to do charity work?.” What seems impressive to them is not good enough for me because I always demand more from myself; I've always juggled more than one thing at once, that is what really keeps me going. I can be a perfectionist even though I am such an imperfect human being.
The reason I feel bad is because they’re under the impression that I am so disciplined. Honestly speaking, I am very disciplined but many times I am not, especially when I’m not feeling my best. I use that as an excuse to procrastinate and I leave many things on the back burner. I always tell myself that I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for that but then I look at my role models, a few amazing women and I am left in awe because some of them are not only in much better shape than I am but they are married, they are moms, they run their own business and they still make time to look amazingly great!
Even though I do have many activities, I come short compared to what all those women have going on their lives. There isn’t really any excuse nor do I need any “buts” or “ifs” and I desperately need to do something to improve every aspect of my life so I can help myself and others too. But before that happens I have to be in good terms with my inner person, meaning that I need to be a better person.
But, it's not me! It's Guadalajara, after all, many people come here to release all the tension in their lives and they get side-tracked. They drink more, they go out more, they meet more people they work less. Ha, ha! There isn't really any excuse!
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