GinaYoryet

Last night and the night before I got hardly any sleep because the careless neighbors had this extremely scandalous party, they were blasting the stereo. I'm surprised they didn't blow up their apartment! I guess I had to use my time productively since I couldn’t sleep. These two sleepless nights gave me some time to look back and think about how I’ve been lacking the discipline to do a few of the things I enjoy the most in life; working out, reading and writing. Many times I think I can’t get in better shape or that it is impossible to achieve that, to read and write more because there are tons of things going on in one day.
That’s how it’s been since I came to Guadalajara, it’s always one thing or another and I lack the discipline that I used to have when I used to compete. I still remember those awesome moments when the only thing I had to do was switch my frequency to nun mode. I’d just train and work, work and train. Unlike here, every week I keep thinking “this weekend” I won’t let anything distract me, I will not get thrown of the curve and I will commit myself 100% to my workout, to writing another article or to start reading a new book, until someone calls to invite me to a bar, someone else calls to catch up, or a family member demands more time. That brings back many hilarious memories of my mother many years ago when I was still living at home, she used to call me out of the blue, it didn’t matter what I was doing, I had to answer the phone otherwise she’d be offended when all she wanted was me to stop by the store on my way home and get a "kilo de tortillas" for dinner.
I have to admit that I feel guilty when people ask me, “how do you manage your time, how do you stay in such good shape, how can you read so many books and write so much, how can you manage to do charity work?.” What seems impressive to them is not good enough for me because I always demand more from myself; I've always juggled more than one thing at once, that is what really keeps me going. I can be a perfectionist even though I am such an imperfect human being.
The reason I feel bad is because they’re under the impression that I am so disciplined. Honestly speaking, I am very disciplined but many times I am not, especially when I’m not feeling my best. I use that as an excuse to procrastinate and I leave many things on the back burner. I always tell myself that I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for that but then I look at my role models, a few amazing women and I am left in awe because some of them are not only in much better shape than I am but they are married, they are moms, they run their own business and they still make time to look amazingly great!
Even though I do have many activities, I come short compared to what all those women have going on their lives. There isn’t really any excuse nor do I need any “buts” or “ifs” and I desperately need to do something to improve every aspect of my life so I can help myself and others too. But before that happens I have to be in good terms with my inner person, meaning that I need to be a better person.
But, it's not me! It's Guadalajara, after all, many people come here to release all the tension in their lives and they get side-tracked. They drink more, they go out more, they meet more people they work less. Ha, ha! There isn't really any excuse!