Recently right after having conducted let’s say a questionnaire to find out who is closer and more warm Mexican or American families, I confirmed many things that I’d experienced coming from a Mexican family. One of the many reasons why foreigners love Mexico is because of the warmth of Mexican people; they are very close knit but sometimes so much closeness can be suffocating. In the U.S. people are colder, more distant, more plain and independent, they have more freedom, and they are more expressive, they aren’t afraid to show their real feelings. On the other hand, Mexicans don’t’ say a whole lot with words, they project feelings with actions, they always come through for each other in times of need although this may not always be the case because they are afraid to show their true emotions, they feel that their “weak side” is going to show the idiot inside them and someone may take advantage of them. For Mexican women everything else comes before her, her parents, her job, her husband and children when she gets married. For a Mexican macho it is detrimental to be sensitive because he’s afraid that people will be able to see right through him and a moment of weakness is not acceptable in this macho ruled society. I’ve always gotten this tingling sensation with the idea of them wearing a mask hiding their real selves behind it and this poem by Charles C. Finn Really hit home when I read it. I could see right through many Mexicans for we are a cage of our own making.
Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
Masks that I’m afraid to take off,
And none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that’s the second nature with me,
But don’t be fooled.
For God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
That is all sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
Ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic and at the thought of my weakness and fear
Being exposed
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
A nonchalant sophisticated facade,
To help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope and I know it.
That is if it’s followed by acceptance,
it is followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
From my own self-built prison walls,
From the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t
Assure myself,
That I am really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare. I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
Will not be followed by love.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh,
And your laugh would kill me.
I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing, that I’m jst
No good,
And that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
With a facade of assurance without
And a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
And my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s really nothing,
And nothing of what’s everything,
Of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine,
Do not be fooled by what I’m saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying,
What I’d like to be able to say,
But what I can’t say.
I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want o be genuine and spontaneous and me,
But you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand
Even when that’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the
Breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you’re kind and gentle and encouraging,
Each time you try to understand because you really care,
My heart begins to grow wings,
Very small wings,
Very feeble wins,
But wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling
You can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
How you can be a creator – a honest-to-God creator –
Of the person that is me
If you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
You alone can remove my mask,
You alone can release me from y shadow-world
of panic and uncertainty, from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to. Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach me
The blinder I may strike back.
It’s irrational, but despite what the books say about man,
Often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing that I can cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls,
And in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
With firm hands
For a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every Mexican you meet
And I am every human being in the world
who escapes from his own reality.
Spirituality, family, work and business ethics, health and fitness, charity work, reading, playing with words, reflecting and embracing the simplicity of life...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
A Writer is
A Writer is
Sunday June 20th, 2010
10:30
Gina Roman
I am 100% sure that every time I go back and read this post I will be horrified and I will feel majorly guilty about not complying with my duties as a writer.
I can’t bear the thought of not updating my blog more often! Like I always thought, writing on a blog develops someone’s personality so when I miss out a week or two without adding a post, when there are ten idle days in between posts, it sabotages my image and character as an individual in different ways.
One day can go by, another one and it won’t long before ten or fifteen days and writing is left on the back burner.
I had a few goals this year and one of them was to write 250 words per day so by the end of the year I’d have a whole book.
So I pondered on what makes a good writer? What are some qualities the best writers rely on? I need some encouraging words to get my momentum.
I carved down on a few ideas and I also ran a survey, I asked random people on the street. When they think of a writer, describe what he/she is like? What makes him/her be good at his work?
Intelligent, broad knowledge, huge imagination, introverted, quiet, conservative, observative, meticulous, creative, cultivated, an expert at what he does, disciplined, organized, surrounded by nature and books, has travelled the world, elegant, likes to drink wine, young personality focused, sets good example to the world, makes his dreams come true, adorable, beautiful, fat, laid back, tall, drinks coffee, lives by a lake, lonely, he enjoys being alone, meditates, calm, curious, mature, sensible, sensitive, introspective, analytical, reflective, selective, straight forward, bold, elegant, well-mannered, investigator, multicultural, multilingual, smokes, modest, balanced, private, discreet personality, old, has a moustache and long beard, productive, popular, connoisseur, curly hair, timid, kind hearted, short, doesn’t like to do exercise, likes to read, creates stories from what he reads, lives in a condo, smells good, likes to take naps, expresses feelings through his writing, reflective, likes to meditate, open minded, well informed in every aspects in life, creator, powerful mind, motivated.
Sunday June 20th, 2010
10:30
Gina Roman
I am 100% sure that every time I go back and read this post I will be horrified and I will feel majorly guilty about not complying with my duties as a writer.
I can’t bear the thought of not updating my blog more often! Like I always thought, writing on a blog develops someone’s personality so when I miss out a week or two without adding a post, when there are ten idle days in between posts, it sabotages my image and character as an individual in different ways.
One day can go by, another one and it won’t long before ten or fifteen days and writing is left on the back burner.
I had a few goals this year and one of them was to write 250 words per day so by the end of the year I’d have a whole book.
So I pondered on what makes a good writer? What are some qualities the best writers rely on? I need some encouraging words to get my momentum.
I carved down on a few ideas and I also ran a survey, I asked random people on the street. When they think of a writer, describe what he/she is like? What makes him/her be good at his work?
Intelligent, broad knowledge, huge imagination, introverted, quiet, conservative, observative, meticulous, creative, cultivated, an expert at what he does, disciplined, organized, surrounded by nature and books, has travelled the world, elegant, likes to drink wine, young personality focused, sets good example to the world, makes his dreams come true, adorable, beautiful, fat, laid back, tall, drinks coffee, lives by a lake, lonely, he enjoys being alone, meditates, calm, curious, mature, sensible, sensitive, introspective, analytical, reflective, selective, straight forward, bold, elegant, well-mannered, investigator, multicultural, multilingual, smokes, modest, balanced, private, discreet personality, old, has a moustache and long beard, productive, popular, connoisseur, curly hair, timid, kind hearted, short, doesn’t like to do exercise, likes to read, creates stories from what he reads, lives in a condo, smells good, likes to take naps, expresses feelings through his writing, reflective, likes to meditate, open minded, well informed in every aspects in life, creator, powerful mind, motivated.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
“Who says that Mexicans are poor?”
Sunday June 6, 2010
Staring at my computer screen as I type, I am lacking concentration because of a big issue I came across with related to hacienda (the IRS), I missed the deadline to file my income tax return since one of my clients from last year refused to give me my constacias (w-2 forms) so I can’t seem to generate clear thoughts as much as I would like to, my mind is more concentrated on what I need to do in order to avoid being fined and thinking that I had never in my life had to pay so much money on tax fees. I don’t know how it works for foreigners working with an fm-2 or fm-3, I am working as a Mexican so before you panic, you might want to find out the full details.
But as we speak about taxes, I came across these interesting facts while looking for something else. This circulated all of Mexico in 2007, before the economy crashed.
“Who says that Mexicans are poor?”
One time a Mexican man living in Mexico emailed another Mexican man living in the U. S. to inquire why Mexicans are poor.
The Mexican man in the U. S. replied,
“Jose,
I can tell right away that you can’t see the trees because of the forest. How can you call yourself “poor” when you able to pay more than double than I do for a cubic meter of water? When you have the luxury of paying 60% more on electricity and phone services than what I pay? When Mexico is on the top five world-wide with highest electricity and phone service fees?
Or when I pay 20, 000 USD for a car and you are able to pay $38,000? You are able to give away $18,000 dollars to the government and we aren’t! Freaking Pepe, I don’t get you!
We residents of Florida are the poor ones, that’s why the state government bears in mind our economic situation and only charges us 2“% of VAT (Value Added Tax), plus another federal tax which is 4%, a total of 6%. On the other hand, you wealthy Mexicans living in Mexico have to pay 16%
On top of that you pay for “luxury taxes” such as the IEPS, (for alchohol, cigarettes, cigars, beer and wine, etc,) which reaches 120% of the original value and other taxes like ISR (Impuesto sobre utilidades y sueldos), utility and salary tax, ISAN (Impuesto sobre automoviles nuevos), tax when buying a new vehicle.
IMPUESTO AL ACTIVO, (impuesto a los bienes de las empresas), corporate tax,
IMPUESTO A LOS INVENTARIOS, (impuesto a las mercancías de las empresas), inventory tax fee,
TENENCIAS, (impuesto por uso de automóvil), tax for owning a vehicle,
2% s/NOMINA,(impuesto al valor de nómina de las empresas), 2% payroll tax,
2% s/HOSPEDAJE; (impuesto adicional por renta de habitación hotelera) 2% additional lodging fee.
You are very fortunate because you can even pay IVA (Value Added Tax) on top of all those taxes.
If you weren’t wealthy, wouldn’t you find it pointless to have such high tax fees?
Porque si ustedes no fueran ricos, ¿qué sentido tendría tener unos impuestos de ese calibre?
So are you really poor? Not in the least!
A country like Mexico that charges ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) in advance. It has to definitely be swimming in abundance because it thinks that the nation’s business and its residents will always generate earnings and of course as your name describes it, “Wealthy.”
We are the poor ones because we don’t pay ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) if we make less than $3,000 USD a month per person – an average of 35,000.00 pesos.
In Mexico you pay for prívate pólice service, on the other hand, we have to conform with public police services.
You even send your children to private schools and damn are we poor here in the U. S.! Public schools lent us their books since we don’t have the financial means to buy them.
Allí hasta envían a los hijos a colegios privados y mira si seremos pobres aquí en EE.UU., que las escuelas publicas te
Sometimes I am amazed at Mexican’s wealth when they are able to pay at least 38% interest rate for a simple loan.
That means wealth!
It’s not like here, we barely pay 8% (7.8% for the most part) because we cannot afford to pay more.
I’m assuming that just like all the wealthy people there you own a car and you are paying 8 or 10% annual insurance. Just so you know I only pay $345 USD a year.
¡¡¡ ESO ES SER RICO!!!
No como aquí, que apenas llegamos al 8% (generalmente 7.8%), justamente porque NO estamos en condiciones de pagar más.
Supongo que, como todo rico, tienes un carro y que estás pagando un 8 o 10% anual de seguro; si te sirve de información, yo pago solo US $ 345 por año.
You must have all this extra Money if you can make annual payments of about $1,000 USD for this so called thing called “Tenencia.” Meanwhile here we can’t afford to have that luxury so we only pay 15USD for the sticker, it doesn’t matter what kind of car we drive. Of course that is only for people who have a limited budget, we don’t manage those large money flows that you Mexicans do.
do the math.
Who is the wealthy one and who is the poor one?
And finally, more than 20% of people in Mexico are unemployed.
Here there’s only a 4% unemployment rate.
Don’t you agree that being unemployed is a luxury that only the wealthy can give themselves?
Come on brother!
You stayed in Mexico because you are wealthy! Only the poor ones like me are the ones who went to try our luck somewhere else.
I was also told that citizens pay the Federal, State and the Municipal Government a huge amount of money.
I am very jealous! That’s what it’s like to live surrounded by wealth!
Well Pepe,
Let me know how you are doing with next year’s budget. One thing for sure though, is that you will have to pay more tax fees. But well, it doesn’t really matter when you have all this money to pay.
Sincerely,
Your poor immigrant friend
Staring at my computer screen as I type, I am lacking concentration because of a big issue I came across with related to hacienda (the IRS), I missed the deadline to file my income tax return since one of my clients from last year refused to give me my constacias (w-2 forms) so I can’t seem to generate clear thoughts as much as I would like to, my mind is more concentrated on what I need to do in order to avoid being fined and thinking that I had never in my life had to pay so much money on tax fees. I don’t know how it works for foreigners working with an fm-2 or fm-3, I am working as a Mexican so before you panic, you might want to find out the full details.
But as we speak about taxes, I came across these interesting facts while looking for something else. This circulated all of Mexico in 2007, before the economy crashed.
“Who says that Mexicans are poor?”
One time a Mexican man living in Mexico emailed another Mexican man living in the U. S. to inquire why Mexicans are poor.
The Mexican man in the U. S. replied,
“Jose,
I can tell right away that you can’t see the trees because of the forest. How can you call yourself “poor” when you able to pay more than double than I do for a cubic meter of water? When you have the luxury of paying 60% more on electricity and phone services than what I pay? When Mexico is on the top five world-wide with highest electricity and phone service fees?
Or when I pay 20, 000 USD for a car and you are able to pay $38,000? You are able to give away $18,000 dollars to the government and we aren’t! Freaking Pepe, I don’t get you!
We residents of Florida are the poor ones, that’s why the state government bears in mind our economic situation and only charges us 2“% of VAT (Value Added Tax), plus another federal tax which is 4%, a total of 6%. On the other hand, you wealthy Mexicans living in Mexico have to pay 16%
On top of that you pay for “luxury taxes” such as the IEPS, (for alchohol, cigarettes, cigars, beer and wine, etc,) which reaches 120% of the original value and other taxes like ISR (Impuesto sobre utilidades y sueldos), utility and salary tax, ISAN (Impuesto sobre automoviles nuevos), tax when buying a new vehicle.
IMPUESTO AL ACTIVO, (impuesto a los bienes de las empresas), corporate tax,
IMPUESTO A LOS INVENTARIOS, (impuesto a las mercancías de las empresas), inventory tax fee,
TENENCIAS, (impuesto por uso de automóvil), tax for owning a vehicle,
2% s/NOMINA,(impuesto al valor de nómina de las empresas), 2% payroll tax,
2% s/HOSPEDAJE; (impuesto adicional por renta de habitación hotelera) 2% additional lodging fee.
You are very fortunate because you can even pay IVA (Value Added Tax) on top of all those taxes.
If you weren’t wealthy, wouldn’t you find it pointless to have such high tax fees?
Porque si ustedes no fueran ricos, ¿qué sentido tendría tener unos impuestos de ese calibre?
So are you really poor? Not in the least!
A country like Mexico that charges ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) in advance. It has to definitely be swimming in abundance because it thinks that the nation’s business and its residents will always generate earnings and of course as your name describes it, “Wealthy.”
We are the poor ones because we don’t pay ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) if we make less than $3,000 USD a month per person – an average of 35,000.00 pesos.
In Mexico you pay for prívate pólice service, on the other hand, we have to conform with public police services.
You even send your children to private schools and damn are we poor here in the U. S.! Public schools lent us their books since we don’t have the financial means to buy them.
Allí hasta envían a los hijos a colegios privados y mira si seremos pobres aquí en EE.UU., que las escuelas publicas te
Sometimes I am amazed at Mexican’s wealth when they are able to pay at least 38% interest rate for a simple loan.
That means wealth!
It’s not like here, we barely pay 8% (7.8% for the most part) because we cannot afford to pay more.
I’m assuming that just like all the wealthy people there you own a car and you are paying 8 or 10% annual insurance. Just so you know I only pay $345 USD a year.
¡¡¡ ESO ES SER RICO!!!
No como aquí, que apenas llegamos al 8% (generalmente 7.8%), justamente porque NO estamos en condiciones de pagar más.
Supongo que, como todo rico, tienes un carro y que estás pagando un 8 o 10% anual de seguro; si te sirve de información, yo pago solo US $ 345 por año.
You must have all this extra Money if you can make annual payments of about $1,000 USD for this so called thing called “Tenencia.” Meanwhile here we can’t afford to have that luxury so we only pay 15USD for the sticker, it doesn’t matter what kind of car we drive. Of course that is only for people who have a limited budget, we don’t manage those large money flows that you Mexicans do.
do the math.
Who is the wealthy one and who is the poor one?
And finally, more than 20% of people in Mexico are unemployed.
Here there’s only a 4% unemployment rate.
Don’t you agree that being unemployed is a luxury that only the wealthy can give themselves?
Come on brother!
You stayed in Mexico because you are wealthy! Only the poor ones like me are the ones who went to try our luck somewhere else.
I was also told that citizens pay the Federal, State and the Municipal Government a huge amount of money.
I am very jealous! That’s what it’s like to live surrounded by wealth!
Well Pepe,
Let me know how you are doing with next year’s budget. One thing for sure though, is that you will have to pay more tax fees. But well, it doesn’t really matter when you have all this money to pay.
Sincerely,
Your poor immigrant friend
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Soccer rules for women
The entire world is watching the clock tick at the countdown for the world cup that is exactly 10 days away. Let’s picture the turmoil in a few days, what will be it like for all those soccer lovers? All I know is that we women won’t get much attention from the men because their whole world will revolve around tv. Mexico is known for being one of the top soccer fans worldwide, even more so Guadalajara.
People here are very loyal to their home team “Las Chivas rayadas” the stripped goats or el “rebaño sagrado” The sacred herd. It’s always nice to get a good laugh about how passionate people are and how some individuals get into heated arguments about who the best team is. If you ask a “Chilango,” a person from Mexico City or someone unsophisticated from the sticks now living in Mexico City, they will tell you that Los Pumas, their home team is the best. And if you ask a “Jalisquillo,” a derogatory term for someone in Jalisco, they will tell you that “las chivas” are the best.
Little did I know about this long going rivalry between chivas and pumas until about 4 years ago when I had just arrived, I hopped on the subway wearing a pumas shirt not realizing that chivas and pumas were playing that day at estadio Jalisco. I was very distracted so I didn’t pay attention to the person next to me wearing a chivas shirt. A few seconds later I turned to my right, I saw another person wearing a chivas shirt, I turned to my left and somebody else wearing a chivas shirt, I lookep up and and the same thing, soon I realized that everybody’s eyes were piercing right through my pumas shirt. All I did was smile and wait patiently until my stop came. I could just see someone coming up to me and punching me so I was relieved when I got out of there.
This is what goes on when the world cup takes place like in the last World Cup, I saw in the news that many people did whatever it took to go. Some people sold their cars and houses without caring about their spouses, some got loans. Some slept on the streets when they arrived to Germany because they couldn’t afford a hotel. It is amazing to see what barbarities some people are willing to do for soccer.
I can relate to that passion because when I was a teenager I loved soccer. Growing up surrounded by soccer fans, I started playing co-ed when I was 18, I used to sneak out on my parents to go to the games in Oakland or San Franciso, I got back home at the early hours of the morning and when they asked why I had gotten home that late, I’d tell them that I was at a friend’s house studying for a midterm or final exam. I don’t know if they ever bough it but I didn’t give a damn because I had already gone anyway and they had two options, be angry at me and scold me all they wanted knowing that it would happen again or let it go and so they chose the second option. I never understood why people especially men were so passionate about soccer and their blood boiled when it came to picking up fights for the even the slightest rub from another player in the middle of a game.
Many important soccer rules are still stuck in my mind to this day, in fact I thought I had them all narrowed down and I prided myself of knowing “so much.” But I never realized that there are more rules and standards for women when it comes to soccer.
This list of rules applies to all the women out there; single, married, lovers, friends, girlfriends, mothers, etc, From June 11 to July 11 2010 – the duration of the 2010 World Cup keep this in mind.
1) Do the grocery shopping outside of a game and/or repetition time – no exceptions apply.
2) Read the sports section so we have something to talk about, or else don’t be surprised if all we don’t talk to you the whole month.
3) The tv will be mine and only mine for the next thirty days, 24/7 without exception. Don’t even dare coming close to the remote control.
4) If you have to pass in front of the tv during a match, you can do so as long as you crawl, don’t distract, interrupt or make any noise.
5) Bear in mind that during the games I am, deaf, blind and mute. Do not expect me to listen to you, look at you, open the door or much less answer the phone. I won’t check on the weeping child that just fell off the second floor, I won’t do the shopping, put off the fire in the kitchen, I will not do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL!
6) You must provide an ice box full of beer and you will smile to all my friends that come over for a few hours to watch the game. In exchange to this you will be able to watch tv at 4 in the morning as long as there aren’t any repetitions.
7) If you notice I’m upset because Brazil is losing, don’t tell me “it is not a big deal” or “they will win for sure.” That will only upset me even more!
8) If you can sit down and watch a game with me, you will only be able to talk to me during commercials or halftime. Or when you don’t see any players on the screen. Don’t make any comments and do not abuse! Don’t expose yourself!
9) The goal repetitions are extremely important. It doesn’t matter whether we already saw them or not or I’ve memorized them, I want to see them many times. Is that clear?
10) Your deer friends better not get married, baptize their children, celebrate their anniversaries, get sick, put on get togethers or dinners and much less visit us during the semi-finals or the final because you will only hear three answers from us. I won’t go, I won’t go and I will not go!
11) But if a friend invites us to watch the match at a bar or at his place, we will not decline his invitation under any circumstances! We will go without hesitating even if he calls us at the last minute so if you are not ready on time, you will stay home!
12) The late night reviews are just as important as the match itself so don’t even say “but you already saw it, why don’t you change the channel?” or “Don’t you get bored watching the same thing over and over?” You know the answer; No, no and no!
13) On the opening and final days, you must prepare a very exquisite snack, buy beer and send the children to your mother’s house but you have to stay home so you can serve our snacks and you must remain silent at all times.
14) And last but not least, save yourself from making comments like; “I am so glad that the World Cup is every four years!” Be glad that it only lasts one month, I am immune to all those back handed comments and just to let you know, there’s the Champions League, Copa Libertadores, South American Cup, the Italian and Spanish Leagues, the NBA, and the elections for the next World Cup.
People here are very loyal to their home team “Las Chivas rayadas” the stripped goats or el “rebaño sagrado” The sacred herd. It’s always nice to get a good laugh about how passionate people are and how some individuals get into heated arguments about who the best team is. If you ask a “Chilango,” a person from Mexico City or someone unsophisticated from the sticks now living in Mexico City, they will tell you that Los Pumas, their home team is the best. And if you ask a “Jalisquillo,” a derogatory term for someone in Jalisco, they will tell you that “las chivas” are the best.
Little did I know about this long going rivalry between chivas and pumas until about 4 years ago when I had just arrived, I hopped on the subway wearing a pumas shirt not realizing that chivas and pumas were playing that day at estadio Jalisco. I was very distracted so I didn’t pay attention to the person next to me wearing a chivas shirt. A few seconds later I turned to my right, I saw another person wearing a chivas shirt, I turned to my left and somebody else wearing a chivas shirt, I lookep up and and the same thing, soon I realized that everybody’s eyes were piercing right through my pumas shirt. All I did was smile and wait patiently until my stop came. I could just see someone coming up to me and punching me so I was relieved when I got out of there.
This is what goes on when the world cup takes place like in the last World Cup, I saw in the news that many people did whatever it took to go. Some people sold their cars and houses without caring about their spouses, some got loans. Some slept on the streets when they arrived to Germany because they couldn’t afford a hotel. It is amazing to see what barbarities some people are willing to do for soccer.
I can relate to that passion because when I was a teenager I loved soccer. Growing up surrounded by soccer fans, I started playing co-ed when I was 18, I used to sneak out on my parents to go to the games in Oakland or San Franciso, I got back home at the early hours of the morning and when they asked why I had gotten home that late, I’d tell them that I was at a friend’s house studying for a midterm or final exam. I don’t know if they ever bough it but I didn’t give a damn because I had already gone anyway and they had two options, be angry at me and scold me all they wanted knowing that it would happen again or let it go and so they chose the second option. I never understood why people especially men were so passionate about soccer and their blood boiled when it came to picking up fights for the even the slightest rub from another player in the middle of a game.
Many important soccer rules are still stuck in my mind to this day, in fact I thought I had them all narrowed down and I prided myself of knowing “so much.” But I never realized that there are more rules and standards for women when it comes to soccer.
This list of rules applies to all the women out there; single, married, lovers, friends, girlfriends, mothers, etc, From June 11 to July 11 2010 – the duration of the 2010 World Cup keep this in mind.
1) Do the grocery shopping outside of a game and/or repetition time – no exceptions apply.
2) Read the sports section so we have something to talk about, or else don’t be surprised if all we don’t talk to you the whole month.
3) The tv will be mine and only mine for the next thirty days, 24/7 without exception. Don’t even dare coming close to the remote control.
4) If you have to pass in front of the tv during a match, you can do so as long as you crawl, don’t distract, interrupt or make any noise.
5) Bear in mind that during the games I am, deaf, blind and mute. Do not expect me to listen to you, look at you, open the door or much less answer the phone. I won’t check on the weeping child that just fell off the second floor, I won’t do the shopping, put off the fire in the kitchen, I will not do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL!
6) You must provide an ice box full of beer and you will smile to all my friends that come over for a few hours to watch the game. In exchange to this you will be able to watch tv at 4 in the morning as long as there aren’t any repetitions.
7) If you notice I’m upset because Brazil is losing, don’t tell me “it is not a big deal” or “they will win for sure.” That will only upset me even more!
8) If you can sit down and watch a game with me, you will only be able to talk to me during commercials or halftime. Or when you don’t see any players on the screen. Don’t make any comments and do not abuse! Don’t expose yourself!
9) The goal repetitions are extremely important. It doesn’t matter whether we already saw them or not or I’ve memorized them, I want to see them many times. Is that clear?
10) Your deer friends better not get married, baptize their children, celebrate their anniversaries, get sick, put on get togethers or dinners and much less visit us during the semi-finals or the final because you will only hear three answers from us. I won’t go, I won’t go and I will not go!
11) But if a friend invites us to watch the match at a bar or at his place, we will not decline his invitation under any circumstances! We will go without hesitating even if he calls us at the last minute so if you are not ready on time, you will stay home!
12) The late night reviews are just as important as the match itself so don’t even say “but you already saw it, why don’t you change the channel?” or “Don’t you get bored watching the same thing over and over?” You know the answer; No, no and no!
13) On the opening and final days, you must prepare a very exquisite snack, buy beer and send the children to your mother’s house but you have to stay home so you can serve our snacks and you must remain silent at all times.
14) And last but not least, save yourself from making comments like; “I am so glad that the World Cup is every four years!” Be glad that it only lasts one month, I am immune to all those back handed comments and just to let you know, there’s the Champions League, Copa Libertadores, South American Cup, the Italian and Spanish Leagues, the NBA, and the elections for the next World Cup.
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