MANIFESTO FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

MANIFESTO FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
May 27, 2016

1.    Check in EVERYDAY. Asking “how was your day?” is the key to being part of your honey’s life. Don’t take that question for granted. Don’t grunt and say okay and move on to what’s for dinner. You married the love of your life so you could be with them every day right? Remember that.

2.    There is no auto-pilot for love. Flirt. Kiss. Hug. Remember that you create your relationship with every text, every wink, every “good morning” and every “can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” Never stop creating and you will never stop loving.

3.    Dream Deeper instead of bigger. Dreaming deeper is asking how you would like to spend your time, not your money, and then finding ways to do more and more of that every day. What makes your heart sing? Do that. Trust me on this, it’s not the car you drive, it’s how you drive it.

4.    Forget “the institution of marriage” and remember “the family of us.” We are all making it up as we go along. And that’s okay. 

5.    Pour love into pain as often as needed. Forgive. Forget. Let go. Move on. Love more. Open your heart to receive love when you need it too. If you aren’t sure how to receive, say so. Use your words. Listen with compassion. Believe that it will all work out in the end. It will.

6.    Remember that feeling you had on your honeymoon? So much joy and laughter and love. Feel that now. Yes, right now. If your honey did something hyper-annoying right before you read this, then just close your eyes and remember the feeling you had back then. Take a deep breath and remember that feeling. How can you bring it forward to today? Take turtle steps if you need to.

7.    Say no to negativity. No criticizing, complaining or eye rolling. Ever. Make requests not complaints. Remember at the end of a request you may get what you asked for. At the end of a complaint all you get is an argument.

8.    Keep the sexy going. Studies show married people have better sex. You are married. The odds are in your favor. Practice. 

9.    Make deposits into your emotional bank account every day. Run little errands, bring coffee, take the dry cleaning. Be kind. Act like a team. Remember you are on the same one.

10.. Make space for friends. Your husband does not want to know that your favorite color of lipstick was discontinued. And he definitely does not want to know which star of Downton Abbey you think is the cutest. Even if your husband is your best friend, make time for girlfriends. They can help you keep your marriage stronger.

11.LET GO of the idea of PERFECTION.Expect marriage to be crooked and chipped and weathered. Expect it to grow and change and surprise you. Expect to be disappointed every once in a while. It happens. Nothing is wrong. That is life. Expecting perfection is the root of so much pain. Expect largely imperfect love instead. You can write your own love story and it can be beautiful, even if the curtains are dusty and the plates are chipped.

12.Believe in love and the power of that force to get you through tough times. Love is the highest power of all. Use it.

Now I Know

Now I know that...

I am getting closer to my purpose

December 5, 2015

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

My meaning, my why, my reason.

Another reason to be grateful, some are at a loss all their life.

This doubt “Why am I here?” has haunted me all my life. Now more than ever, now that I am scratching forty, yes, 40, that reflection has paid a very abrupt visit once again and it has not parted from my turbulent mind yet. Conceivably because I am eleven days from embracing another year filled with ups and downs, fear and hope, success and disappointment and a great deal of trials. 

Amidst all those struggles, and as the end of the year draws nearer, I don’t have the words to express all the appreciation for the many blessings I’ve been gifted with. The other day I was lethargic to express my gratitude in writing to all the fortune given to me, but I did anyhow. Even after that atrocious accident on the road that threw me off the curve and put a gridlock to my high-rendering and competitive lifestyle. That was a catch-22 almost impossible to disentangle from, to this day I am still suffering the aftermath of that life-changing event. Every single day my pain is a remembrance that at least I was able to live to tell, others are denied that opportunity after more catastrophic occurrences.

It has taken me all my life to gradually unveil my “Why am I here?” and 2,362 days to get a clear vision and fathom that even this accident was meant to happen to teach me a lesson. To appease my ego and bring me back to the reality that youth and a fit body are NOT the most important fundamentals in our existence. 

That’s why at this age,

I have accepted…

That even after losing small fragments of Gina Yoryet and being bent temporarily bent either physically, emotionally or spiritually, I’ve bounced back and retaliated amidst the storm. In exchange of that, I´ve gained more symbolic possessions - priceless life-learning lessons.

I have also accepted that we have to be appreciative of the “not so favorable” happenings in our life.

I have realized…

That the promise of a new life lies by my side, it is peering through my window day by day, and I am given the opportunity to choose whether or not I take that opportunity for granted. 

I have received a wake up call…

Letting me know that I wasn’t practicing what I preach. One of my doctrines (writing) was obliterated temporarily. Yet that wake up call was my persuasion to NO longer forsake one of my principles.

I have learned…
That is it NEVER a good idea to force things and make them happen under my own standards. As a woman of faith, now I know that everything that is meant to be, will happen at God’s time and will, not at mine. Anything that is NOT meant to be, will NOT happen no matter how much I kick, punch and cry.

I have also learned…
That the only way to really see and listen is with the heart; people who have less, offer the most; and most of all, I have learned that before we can even think about changing our community, our country, our world, the change must start within. In addition to that, I´ve learned to be self-dependent because no one will always be there to do everything for me, the way it was before, in illo tempore.

At last I have acknowledged...

That family is one the greatest blessings that we are all granted with.

Therefore we have to cherish them and the few or many moments we can spend with them.

In my journey here, I’ve been able to see…

The dehumanization and destructiveness of capitalism, neo-liberalism, and globalization on my people in general and the Indigenous people in particular; a beautiful country that’s extremely rich in natural resources, but is controlled by people who are willing to sell and exploit our country; the environment being destroyed for profit, for the rich and their financial interest; communities where water comes every 3 days, have no drainage, and no electricity or its very expensive; families that have to pay more than companies and fábricas for electricity; houses built out of cardboard constructed only 10 minutes away from luxurious homes or hotels; lies, the powerful always chingando, desalojo, despojo, invasion, and repression; Men and women working 14-16 hour days for a few pesos. The organization, solidarity, and unity of different types of people not only on a national level, but on an international one; the presence of chicanos, mexicanos and people del otro lado; people fighting and struggling their entire lives; an anger so deep that they are willing to die fighting, not for money or richness, but for their families and land, their mother earth.

I have listened…

To the voices of each people I´ve encountered, I can finally feel his or her pain and suffering. Throughout my travels, their stories and their palabras touched my heart. Listening to each individual when I was part of a campaign to fight for the indigenous rights sent shivers through my body; but their anger, resistance and courage began to run through mis venas and stirred something inside of me. During those brief but profound moments in that campaign, each child I played with, Don o Doña I spoke with, each danza o canción I heard began to touch my Corazón, until I realized it was filled with love for this country, this culture, this raza-mi raza.

I have concluded…

That we truly are connected, and although I deceived myself that I was from el otro lado, las raíces run through my blood and the border really is only an imaginary line, because no migra, minute man, or muro can keep our hearts from uniting and fighting for what we believe and know…that another world is possible------ ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡Otro mundo sí es possible!!!

I have experienced…

A personal transformation that has changed me indefinitely, and I have all of my family, friends, mentors, and now my husband to thank for being a part of this journey we call life.

I have lost…

Friends that were really NOT real, truthful or transparent. But even those friendships at a given place and time, taught me a lesson that made me wiser, more careful and stronger.

I’ve have become…

More resilient, selective, wary and protective of my surroundings, my loved ones and the people I chose to keep in my life.

I have also become...
Acquainted with temporary disappointment, grief, sadness, failure, heartbreak, physical and emotional mishaps. Yet, everything has left remnants for me to get a hold of myself and stay put to reach success, to be at ease and peace with who I am and with what I've accomplished.

I have regained my faith…

And understood that God does answer our prayers at his time, under his standards, NOT ours.

I have concluded…

That before setting high standards, sending petitions and holding high standards from everyone else, I have to express my gratitude every single morning in my moments of serenity, and I have to start with my own expectations of me.

I have FINALLY…

Met THE one, the man I was meant to be with, the  male that was made to love me and the one I was created to complement, to become one soul, one body, one spirit.

I am finally well aware…

That God had a plan for my husband J.V. A. and I, and that he was there all along to unite with me at the right moment and place…

Mother´s Day

Mother´s Day
May 10, 2015

1. If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis


2. Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he'll end up hating you.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Jill Bennett


3. A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Dorothy Canfield Fisher


4. At work, you think of the children you have left at home.
At home, you think of the work you've left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Golda Meir


5. Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Unknown 

6. As is the mother, so is her daughter.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Ezekiel 16:4


7. Men are what their mothers made them.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Ralph Waldo Emerson


8. Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Harriet Beecher Stowe


9. We never know the love of the parent until we become parents ourselves.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Henry Ward Beecher


  10. The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Honore de Balzac, author


11. The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Henry Ward Beecher, US Congressional clergyman 

12. Who is getting more pleasure from this rocking, the baby or me?
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Nancy Thayer, author


13. By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Anne Morrow Lindbergh, author


14. Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Lin Yutang, Chinese writer

15. Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to 'jump at de sun.' We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Zora Neale Hurston, folklorist and writer

16. That best academy, a mother's knee.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: James Russell Lowell, poet, critic and diplomat


17. Making a decision to have a child--it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Elizabeth Stone


18. Anyone who doesn't miss the past never had a mother.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Gregory Nunn


19. A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Tenneva Jordan


20. Few misfortunes can befall a boy which brings worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: W. Somerset Maugham


21. The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: James Fenton


22. No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Florida Scott-Maxwell

23. Biological possibility and desire are not the same as biological need. Women have childbearing equipment. For them to choose not to use the equipment is no more blocking what is instinctive than it is for a man who, muscles or no, chooses not to be a weightlifter.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Betty Rollin


24. Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women's opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in mothering.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Elaine Heffner


25. Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: James Joyce


26. All that remains to the mother in modern consumer society is the role of scapegoat; psychoanalysis uses huge amounts of money and time to persuade analysis and to foist their problems on to the absent mother, who has no opportunity to utter a word in her own defense. Hostility to the mother in our societies is an index of mental health.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Germaine Greer


27. Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother's Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: John Erskine

28. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Oscar Wilde


29. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.
She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Rajneesh


30. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Author Unknown


31. A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Peter De Vries


32. All mothers are working mothers.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Author Unknown


33. The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Oliver Wendell Holmes

34. Motherhood is priced; Of God, at price no man may dare/To lessen or misunderstand.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Helen Hunt Jackson


35. It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Barbara Kingsolver


36. God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Jewish proverb


37. I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Abraham Lincoln


38. Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Mildred B. Vermont


39. Nobody knows of the work it makes
To keep the home together.
Nobody knows of the steps it takes,
Nobody knows-but Mother.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Anonymous


40. If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Henry Bickersteth


41. Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: T. DeWitt Talmage


42. There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Chinese Proverb


43. When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty


44. No gift to your mother can ever equal her gift to you - life
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Anonymous quotes


45. An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Spanish Proverb

46. Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Aristotle


47. If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Lawrence Housman


48. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Sam Levenson


49. Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: William Feather, The Business of Life, 1949


50. And remember that behind every successful woman......is a basket of dirty laundry.
Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Unknown 

Cuando yo quería ser grande

Cuando yo quería ser grande
Vicente Fernandez
October 11, 2014

Se van perdiendo en el tiempo.
Mis años se van quedando muy lejos.
Ya no me lleva mi madre de la mano.
Solamente sus consejos.

Viven en mi los recuerdos de niña.
Cuando a una estrella deseaba.
Como recuerdo a mi madre,
Que con eso sonreía.
Mientras mi madre miraba.

Años que vienen despacio,
primero con que lentitud avanzan.
Como quería ser grande, recuerdo
para no quedarme en casa.

Y acompañar a mi madre muy lejos.
Tal vez hasta el fin del mundo.
Por que mi madre era fuerte,
Era muy inteligente,
Era y seguirá siendo mejor que ninguna.

Hoy ya no quiero que pasen los años
Por que mi madre ha envejecido.
Se le han cubierto de arrugas sus manos,
y de nieve sus cabellos

Oh señor detén el tiempo te pido,
por que tu puedes hacerlo.
Por que yo en verdad no entiendo Dios mio por que
Se nos va lo bueno...

Cuando se cansen un día tus pasos
yo quiero ser quien los cuide.
Mientras dame el brazo
Y vamos a ver a ver que vas a decirme.

Happy birthday to a fine young man!

Happy birthday to a fine young man!
October 5, 2014

D. R., I hope you had a great time today. I am glad you went to church with Tammy.
Jovencito, never give up your dreams, you are very smart and you were given many gifts,
so don't waste them.
You were meant to be a very successful man and every day that goes by, you are one step closer to
realizing that HUGE accomplishment.
I love you and I have faith that you will be that man you were meant to be!
Un super abrazo!
TQM
Georgie


Young man, the day you were born was a day the Roman family was blessed with a great baby. Happy birthday!
Dado, we are proud of the young man you've become. Seeing you grow in character as you grow older gives us great joy.
It’s fun to think back about when you were a baby and other fun times when you were very young and growing up. We’re looking forward to seeing what comes from your future, and we’re wishing you an awesome birthday.
I know you are getting older, but to us you will always be our baby. We love you very much. (Birthday message from us)
Happy birthday guapo! I am wishing you the very best things in the coming year and in life.
May God guide you with his loving hand and bless you as His own as you turn another year older. We know that you were made and given to us for a great purpose, just as baby Jesus was a gift to Mary and Joseph. Happy birthday! We’re praying for you.
Every year you get older, we start feeling older. Maybe that’s because we are getting older too. Whatever the reason, I’m blaming you for making us feel old :). Happy Birthday!
We love you very much, and we’re very proud of what you've become as you have gotten older. Here’s to one more year of awesome! Happy birthday young man!
You have not only been a blessing as a son, nephew, grandson. As you matured, you have become a good example to your cousins.
Sons like you are a valuable treasure to your family.
Having a young man like you in the family, is one of the greatest joys in our life, so your birthday is a joyous occasion fit for celebration.
Having a baby is one of the most amazing things you could ever do, but having a baby who grows up the way you are turning out is even more exciting. Happy birthday to you! We’re very proud of you.
I’m praying that God blesses you with all the things that He’s generous enough to give you. I am wishing you the best birthday you can have.
No one knows how long they get to live, but our time with you has been nothing short of a blessing. Your birthday is a good time to remember and be grateful for our time. We're wishing you a happy birthday as we celebrate your life and how you have been a blessing to us!
The great thing about having a baby boy, is that you get to see them grow up to be young men. You are turning out to be a fine young man.
Your birth was just the beginning of many birthdays. It was just the beginning of many blessings.
You are the promise of new beginning and you have a very bright future lying ahead of you, so use God’s gifts and do the best you can with them. And before you even know it, all your hard work will have paid every single suffering moment!!

Felicidades young man!

Happy birthday to my sister, my friend

Happy birthday to my sister, my friend
September 30, 2014


All the wealth of the world isn't enough to compensate for the love of a sister.
So I don't want to miss the opportunity to wish you a happy birthday!

Sisters not only share clothes and accessories but they also share a life together –

I thank God for giving me the greatest gift ever, in you. You are a wonderful sister and I love you always.

Sisterhood is a relation gifted by the God. It tells you that you'll always remain special to someone.

Sweet Sister

Happy birthday,

sweet sister of mine.

Whenever I see you,

my heart seems to shine.

You're a truly wonderful,

sweet sister and friend.

birthday hugs and kisses,

I'd like to extend.

Happy birthday,

sweet sister of mine.

It brings me joy,

when we just spend time.

I'm eternally grateful,

you've always been there.

Through your actions and words,

you show that you care.

Happy birthday,

sweet sister of mine.

Life with you,

is exceptionally fine.

I hope you enjoy,

another great year.

I promise my love,

shall always be near.

Romanus Hortus Domus

Romanus Hortus Domus
September 20, 2014
By: Gina Yoryet Roman

John 4:20 - If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

Luke 14:26 - If any [man] come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

"Family" is from the Latin word familia, which means "family; household" and, originally, "slaves of the household". The word for an individual slave was famulus for a male, famula for a female.

In a world in which it is very easy to get sidetracked, family is one of the greatest gifts we are provided by God as when we are in dire need of emotional support, our familia is our strongest pillar. The most memorable and most important moments are those spent with family. Those who don’t have one, divagate like lost souls in this long journey.

 As of lately, the Romanus Hortus Domus has been in my mind, the family which I come from, the ten of us, it makes me reminiscence of that program in the 80’s, ‘Just the Ten of Us.’ An American program presenting Bill Kirchenbauer as Coach Graham Lubbock, a teacher and head of a large Catholic family with eight children who lives in Eureka, California.

When I first watched the program, my comprehension of English was very poor, but I resonated with the name. Later on, despite not watching the series on a regular basis, I was in sync with it. My intellectuality led me to believe that said show was created based on my family because we are eight siblings plus my parents. We were born and raised catholic, part of our childhood we lived in California, about 217 miles from San Francisco, approximately a four hour drive.

The Lubbock family had to face constant challenges but their faith made them remain spiritually, mentally and physically resilient, the same way my family had to face adversity against all odds. In illo tempore (at that time) life was indeed much harder for a relatively young woman (my mother), who many times had to take both roles, that of a mother, as well as that of a father, for various reasons. But in the end, she prevailed with her greatest allies; faith, courage and strength.

That woman warrior may have been bent temporarily bent, NEVER completely broken though. A myriad of poignant memories always come back when I flavor my mother’s thoroughly and lovingly made meals. They harbor a nostalgia of my childhood, not because of sadness, but because I wish we were all together physically. Sometimes I am suddenly impacted with strong emotions, especially when we see each other and we have to part once again.

Distance will never matter because we know we will always be there for one another. I’d like to believe that the Romanus Hortus Domus will reunite in the near future. My family like it was once in illo tempore: Mom, dad, HR1, HR2, HR3, RG1, RG2, RG3, RG4, RG5, DRG21, SJJR, HR1-2, HR2-2, HR3-2, ABJR1, AWR2, EM1 to celebrate the Roman Dynasty, our family legacy.

The beginning of a new stage

The beginning of a new stage
S. & A. Summer camp
July 3rd, 2014
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


S. J. J. R., precious,

I hope that you have a wonderful, relaxing and quiet time during camp weekend.
I also want to tell you that I miss you dearly and that I think about you every day and I am counting the days until I see you next.

I want to share many special moments and walk you through life in this new beginning, this new stage as an adolescent in which you will encounter many ups and downs like a roller coaster. It sounds intimidating, doesn’t it? Well, don’t let it because I am quite certain that with the principles, morals and values that both your parents have taught you, you will blossom into an amazing woman because your good nature will reveal sooner or later.

Keep in mind that your grandmother and I are always thinking about you and we wish nothing but the best. You can always come visit us, it would be wonderful to have you here with us.

Take lots of pictures and have a lot of fun!

I love and miss you dearly.

Your aunt Georgie



A. B. J. R.,

Sweet heart, I am just as excited as you for this nice retreat in which you will have a chance to refresh and spend time with many children your age. Take advantage of this great moment and many more to come.

Sweetie, I can’t believe time has gone by so quickly and you are closer to growing into a young man. I am very glad to be your aunt and I want to share many special moments with you filled with joy and happiness.

Take a lot of pictures and send them to me, I want to live the experience when I look at all your pictures, I want to see you filled with energy and enthusiasm.

I love you and I am proud of you!

Your aunt Georgie

It doesn’t matter who my father was

It doesn’t matter who my father was
June 16, 2014


"It doesn't matter who my father was;
it matters who I remember he was."
                                                     -Anne Sexton



Those Winter Sundays
Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he’d call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love’s austere and lonely offices?
                                  -Robert Hayden

Life is not all rosy

Life is not all rosy 

May 30, 2014

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

I’ve been trying to sort out and accept a few unexpected changes and disappointments as of lately. Staying put to life’s blind alleys can be hard if we go through them alone. Sometimes I catch myself exaggerating and I whine that I ‘don’t’ have any friends. This entire month proved me wrong and rubbed the truth on my face. How? Showing me that I have a lot of friends who will always be there to support me

In a way I am a lot like men as every time I go through a particular downfall I automatically shut down and go M. I. A. for however long I deem necessary to come back to real life and feel normal again. This time I took a different approach and felt very blessed to reach out to my girlfriends that are fighting the same battles. All in all, I spent time with my friends Veronica, Berenice, Cecilia, Martita, Guillermina, Patricia, Rene, Kristen, Cynthia, and on top of that, I talked on the phone with my two lifetime best friends, Norma and Rosie and my best guy friend, Pedro. In a period of thirty, thirty one days, I did a recount of most of my good ‘ole friends and was glad that there are so many wonderful people for me when I am under the impression that life is not rosy. 

That’s why every day when I wake up, no matter what, I am grateful for all the blessings I’ve been endowed with, one of them is my friends, I’d be lost without my family and them. I was too caught up on me until I talked to my eighteen year old nephew just a little while ago after I read his alarming email sent to me last night. Last December when he had recently turned eighteen, I sat down with him and laid it all out to him the way it was after he failed some classes during his first semester in college. He approached me because his mother refused to open up as a punishment. 

True, I am dealing with temporary disappointment but I am well aware that I only have one choice. It is a lot simpler to take in life’s blows as we grow older but what about children and teenagers? How do you explain an eight year old girl that NOT winning her dance performance is one of endless opportunities to improve and shine in this world? How do you explain a teenager that his/her parents are going through divorce? 

How can you tell them that life is exactly about that but then you rise again because there is no other way out? 

Focusing on the issue that Dado put himself through was a circuit that directed me  outside of my bubble. I am trying to come up with a list of different ways to help him and ignite him to keep fighting when he’s facing disappointment and lack of motivation. Before I called him I came with a list of resolutions for him (for us to do because I am in this with him). 

Number one: Give his mother the news today when she takes him out to lunch. Otherwise, I will call her and break the news to him first thing tomorrow morning. 

Number two: Write a list of benefits he’s got there and balance them out.

Number three: Start working to come up with money to buy his place ticket since I can’t support him with that because he failed to comply with the agreement we made in December. 

Number four: Come up with a list of short and long term goals.

Number five: Start being more appreciative for all the benefits he’s been given and be kinder to his mother. 

I am praying to remain resilient and non-lenient in order to help my sister form a responsible and appreciative young man. I in any way intend to form a perfect man because perfection is not of this world. We all have our flaws but we are very good at hiding them and it always takes another someone to point them out. Our sole duty is to work with them and strive to be better people. 

That's why first and foremost, I reiterated to him that I love him and I believe in him because he is a very smart young man but he has to understand that there’s sacrifice concealed behind anything we want to achieve. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, meaning that here he will have to work twice as hard and make less money. Sometimes we learn the hard way and now is his turn. 

It is a tough challenge but I am ready to face it as long as I can be of benefit and a good influence to him. Before anything, I will always believe in him because he has a very promising and bring future. 

Lessons learned from a very strong woman

Lessons learned from
a very strong woman
May 11, 2014
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


On Friday night I called a couple of places to make a reservation for late lunch on May 10, at no avail. I should’ve known that a lot of the most popular restaurants are packed because of Mother’s Day. Next year if that symbolic woman and I are together, I will most definitely make a reservation at an elegant restaurant for the two of us to dine, chat and for us to talk about us then and now.

Yesterday,  May 10th, though we didn’t go to La Pasta, the place I’d chosen to take my procreator, we spent a great part of the day together and I found it very solemn because we dined, chatted and I was able to reminiscence about my childhood when she shared many stories with me.

I love hearing those anecdotes but I mostly like all the sayings she used to tell my siblings and I when we were much younger:

‘Sabe más el diablo por viejo que por diablo.’ - The Devil is Wise, because of his age, and it doesn't matter who is he, but his experiences. Meaning that the older you are, the more knowledge you have gained.
‘Si no quieres ver visiones, no andes de noche.’ If you don’t want problems, don’t look for them.
‘Ser pendejo cuesta.’ - You pay a high price when you make mistakes.

I don’t know how she could handle eight children and the five girls were more than a handful. Poor mother! I’ve apologized a few times about all our teenage insensitivity. I try to be more understanding now that I am older but I still don’t know what it’s like to deal with children, I hope I have the opportunity one day soon, and only then I will really know!

That’s why her lessons and principles are the most useful in my life and since I highly admire this special woman, I’ve done my best to be led by those principles under any circumstances.

Honesty: Don’t ever steal, screw anyone out or take advantage of them because all that bad karma can come back to you.

Loyalty: One day, when you are in a partnership, whether business, friendship, dating, marriage, remain loyal no matter what.

Strength: Understand that you will be bent temporarily through ill-fated times but you can and you will bounce right back. Whatever doesn't kill you, will make you stronger, that’s why never give room for weeping.

Respect: Always treat people from all walks of life with respect, the way you like to be treated.

These principles are very meaningful and all my siblings and I, highly praise and live by them.  When I talk to one of my brothers or sisters on the phone, we sometimes discuss how valuable and profitable that’s been for our spiritual and emotional capital even when some of us have been hurt and betrayed.

True, those betrayals have been painful temporarily but in the end, they were another learning experience that made us more resistant which means that we won’t retaliate by playing the same game. We've instead forgiven, learned and let go. When I finally find the man I am destined to share my life with, my devotion to him will be based upon us growing and learning together as a whole, not on someone else’s falsehoods because I want the best for us, that’s why I will always pray for his spiritual, personal, emotional, physical, professional and financial well being.


So, THANK YOU MOM!

Unlimited opportunities

Unlimited opportunities

January 26, 2014

By: Gina Yoryet

Today is the second anniversary of my grandmother Mary Lou’s death. I don’t know if this had to do with my mood swing and lack of energy until I talked to grandpa on the phone. Yesterday I was very hyped up and felt amazingly well unlike today. I was doing my best to not be down in the dumps this day but I couldn’t help it. During mass while I listened to homily, my mind wandered to the last time I saw her and a few tears rolled down my cheeks. When I talked to grandpa I was surprised to hear his very positive voice cheering me up. 

I had imagined that he’d be weeping like he has the other times we’ve talked and I’d be the one trying to soothe his soul but he wasn’t. I love conversing with him because he is one of the most loving, understanding comforting and supportive people I have ever known. Just when I feel like I’m about to throw in the towel, he tells me that he’s very proud of me for coming a long way. Even at eighteen when I used to work as a hostess where he used to have breakfast every Sunday after mass, when I was young and immature and when my future was so bleak, he was able to see right through and put his full trust in me. 

That was the first time anyone ever believed in me and determine that I was going to be very successful. He tells me that I have accomplished a lot despite life’s setbacks and that he’s always known that I would reach and accomplish higher goals as I got older. Despite this I feel like I am not even halfway as there are many things lying ahead. 

Only when I have consummated everything that I have wanted in life, I will see that there are unlimited opportunities for me like he says. “Do you realize how much talent you have young lady,” he asks me. I laugh and reply, “sort of!” His assuring voice and praying are the only ways I can compose myself when I am feeling fearful. 

Other times I am well aware that there are unlimited opportunities for some people more than for others and deep down I know that I belong in the more fortunate ones category. In the meantime I am working towards that and biding my time for the right time and place for my passion to reveal my purpose...

Is masking the real you unethical?

Is masking the real you unethical?

December 15, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

As of lately I’ve been doing a lot of writing but not necessarily the type I want. I am taking this TESOL  (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) which requires a lot of analyzing case studies and writing a response essay. 

Today I bumped into this very interesting one that reminded me about a post a wrote on May 8, 2012, “It doesn’t matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice,” by Deng Xiaoping's 

Essay question:

In the professional world, people often "dress for success." They wear expensive suits and ties to give the impression that they are confident and powerful. High school and college students often dress to give the impression that they are "hip" or fashionable. When is it unethical to dress in a manner that masks the real you? Explain by using an example from your own experiences.

I have lived in Guadalajara Jalisco for the past 9.5 years and teach at the American School Foundation of Jalisco.

The American School is a public system in the United States, unlike here.

ASFG is for a very exclusive upper class group in which competition is a constant factor in everyone's mind.

I have always disliked this behavior because people are always pretending to be something they are not.

The middle (the working) class is always buying more than they can afford; clothes, trips, electronics, shoes, apartments, houses, fine dining, etc. They spend more than what they make and end up in huge debt. 

‘According to 'Lingerie, iPads: Mexican kid-free couples fuel high-end boom,' 

BY ALEXANDRA ALPER AND ELINOR COMLAY

MEXICO CITY, July 14 Sun Jul 14, 2013 7:59am EDT,

Mexico is a third world country with first class taste because everyone wants to fit it. 

As for me, I did modeling work for about five or six years. Every time we got our makeup done, I had to tell the makeup artist to keep it very natural and to use a lot of makeup. The same thing with the outfits we got.

At the beginning it was very 'cool,' to experience the feeling of being praised, but as time progressed, I ended up feeling more empty and sad.

Deep down, all the girls concealed our real selves only to feel  momentarily which in the end opened a wider gap of solitude.

Every event that we attended, there were always people who looked up to us and wanted to take pictures with us led to the thought that we were superior beings when in reality we were not. We were also invited to VIP events where we didn't have to pay anything just because all the men that we were invited by, wanted to be surrounded by thin and ‘beautiful’ girls.

In the end, I opted leaving that superficial job because it didn't befit the person I've always been. I have never liked to masquerade myself. 

Now that I teach, I feel a lot more useful and self-fulfilled.

I like to go by Deng Xiaoping's principle, "It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, 

so long as it catches mice."

Life

Life 

December 14

Hoe does one know is she has forgiven? you tend to feel sorrow over the circumstances instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. You tend to have nothing left to say about it all.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

He who is overly attached to his family members, experiences fear and sorrow, for the root of all grief is attachment. Thus one should discard attachment to be happy.

Chanakya

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. 

Agatha Christie

Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it. 

Victor Hugo

Only by joy and sorrow does a person know anything about themselves and their destiny. They learn what to do and what to avoid.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe