Reflexions
December 26, 2010
We are on a countdown before the year ends, I close my eyes for a few seconds and hear the clock tick very slowly and at the same time the hourglass stares at me straight in the eye and tells me that I am still on time to make my bucket list of goals and wishes for 2011. Here I am typing away just like every single Sunday since a few weeks ago when I made a commitment as a writer to never again let a day go by without writing. Of course I haven’t accomplished that goal but I have definitely not let one single Sunday go by without posting a blog. November and December were even better because I even posted three blogs in a week!
I am reflecting and thinking about the endless list of goals I wrote at the end of 2010. Many of those things were done but some of them were left on the back burner. This year things have to be different which means that I really have to step up, fight with all my might to get to where I want and accomplish every single wish I set. With that said I have to defeat my biggest enemy which is me because I am the first one setting boundaries, I am the one who grows fear and insecurity within me. I have to let all my frustrations behind when things don’t go my way. I have to say farewell to my procrastination and really make things happen. Especially knowing me, the woman who is very, extremely independent and who doesn’t rely on anyone else for anything but at the same time I am used to getting almost everything done. Cooking, laundry, shopping, and many of those small chores that are very time consuming. I’ve told my mother many times this year “quiero aprender a cocinar y hacer tiempo para limpiar, pero simplemente las cosas domesticas no se me dan.”
Another goal for 2011 is to mature in many aspects. When it comes to relationships the older I get the less I am willing to give, perhaps because I haven’t met the “right” man. There is no such thing as an ideal, we as human beings tend to idealize this fantasy world and other human beings and when we hit the bottom, coming back to reality can be very painful and we give up immediately.
Fitness to help me and others has to be a MUST, there will not be room for excuses! Towards the end of this year I started making my workouts a real commitment, even if that meant getting up before the entire world and getting very little sleep was a real sacrifice, I still did it because I got it out of the way. Everything was going quite well until mid December when I started packing down all this food without a reason. Mindless and emotional eating will be one of my toughest goals to overcome this upcoming year.
Right now I’m feeling like a whale because like they say here, “me he comido todo el refrigerador TODOS los días en la mañana, en la tarde y en la noche.”so now there’s more work to do to help me help others. Sometimes my friends ask how I get motivated to juggle all these things and I tell them, “ I JUST DO IT!”
2011 seems very promising, two projects I wanted with all my heart came through so I have to give them my best shot. The simple fact of looking at my agenda for the first six months of 2011 overwhelm me and it’ll be hard to squeeze in my workouts but I am completely ok with it, at this moment I am feeling very strong spiritually and I am ready to tackle every single obstacle and shatter it to get closer to realizing the woman I was meant to become.
On December 16, I became a year older and decided for the first time in my life that before I try to change my community, my city, my country, my world, other people, I must start with myself so I shall start with higher expectations of Gina Yoryet. A good friend of mine took me out for breakfast and as I was telling her some of my goals she told me she envisioned me as a motivational writer living somewhere in Europe. It’s funny because now more than ever I’ve felt that with my heart, deep down I know there’s a purpose for me in this universe and one of them is to help human beings especially women to lead a healthy life style and more than anything to love themselves.
Sometimes people have said that I am too strict and hard on myself but I am only trying to be a better person, I don’t mean harm on anyone, I’ve never done drugs, I’ve never been a drunk ass, I’ve never abused anyone in any way. When I am angry and frustrated and I can’t even stand myself, I don’t take my anger out on my loved ones anymore as I did before, I run to the gym and release all my bad energy there instead.
The other day while I was in class with one of my students, an older woman, she told me that I should be a motivational speaker for women. Her husband is a very recognized doctor here in Guadalajara and he has a radio program once a week so she invited me to talk about Health and Fitness since I am so enthused about it. She also told me her sister conducts motivational workshops for women from all walks of life and she invited me to give workshops there as well. I won’t be making money but I am ok with it because I have always believed in helping others to lead a better life. I don’t base my happiness in others but being able to give a lending hand and looking at people right in their eyes, brings so much mental peace, those priceless moments are one of the best moments in life.
The day when I tried to go meditate, my friend told me that I was meant to be a motivational leader. Before these three people told me this, I already knew it, I’ve always felt it, I’ve always asked myself how I can help people and since I’ve always loved writing, I said, writing is the way to do it! I have a mission in this world and that will be to help people through my writing.
I need to post more pictures on my blogs but I am AWFUL when it comes to that. This year I’ve gone through 5 cameras! I don’t know how I always manage to lose them, drop them and break them or something! In fact I just bought a camera on Wednesday and last night I dropped it and smashed it on the pavement. There’s something with cameras and cell phones that always slip off my hands. I am hopeless!!! I’ve always asked God to help me find my purpose in this life and as each day that goes by I am more convinced that I was meant to be a warrior and I’d die fighting. I don’t belong to me nor to anyone else, I belong to the world, I have a job to be a woman, a daughter, a mentor, an advisor, a motivator, a leader, a writer, a healer, a friend, a comfort. It was carved in my destiny to change peoples’ lives.
The porcupine
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way, they covered and protected themselves; but, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other.
After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
Therefore: the best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
Spirituality, family, work and business ethics, health and fitness, charity work, reading, playing with words, reflecting and embracing the simplicity of life...
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Meditating in Guadalajara
Tuesday December 21, 2010
Meditating in Guadalajara
Gosh! Ok, so my first experience EVER meditating and I failed! I give myself credit for at least trying!!! It was hilarious though that my first attempt to put my mind at ease was sabotaged by the fact that my friend who invited me got lost on our way there. I don’t know what it is with him, this guy is absolutely clueless when it comes to driving, directions and narrowing down a place. Most guys are good at controlling the wheel and finding their way through very easily but this friend of mine is like a girl that’s why we get along so well!
He is a born “tapatio” (Guadalajara native) and he has been driving for many years but he still manages to get lost. How? I haven’t got the slightest clue.
By the time we found the place it was too late and I didn’t want to interrupt anybody’s peace and their encounter with their inner selves so we choose to go have dinner when we weren’t even hungry! I felt guilty because I ate so damn much. I never eat that late (it was almost 10pm) and much less do I pack down that much. It is not even Christmas and I already put on like 3 kilos!!!! (7 pounds). When I got home I was so freaking full that I couldn’t even lie down because the food was right on my throat that I felt like choking. YUCK!
Oh well! I’ll try again later, rather sooner than later I should say.
Ending the year with meditation sounded like a good idea and in fact that is one of my goals for 2011, to relax more (and many more things). There are many projects that I want to accomplish before 2011 ends and I still don’t know how I’ll manage them, I wish I could clone myself to do more but it’s like they say, “when there’s a will, there’s a way.” Or like Philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” So the problem is not really all the things that are yet to come in our journey, the turmoil is deep down us.
So my recommendation to myself is to NOT rush, take each day and project at once and go from there because I’ve rushed before and things totally went out the roof or however that goes. So from my own experience I will not rush and I better not rush! There are still a few things to get done before 2010 ends. We are on a countdown and I need to move, I need to get another car, I need to get many things up and running but for the time being I need to get all my stuff ready for tomorrow (we are heading out for a few days to spend Christmas and perhaps new years away) before I hit the sack and get my beauty sleep. I’m already starting to doze off as I type away my last words. Ok, I better turn off the computer. No, wait! I don’t want to let go because I will leave it here at home so I am going to miss it a lot! My computer is part of me, it goes everywhere I go so leaving it behind for 10 days is so heartbreaking!! Ok, I better stop!
Meditating in Guadalajara
Gosh! Ok, so my first experience EVER meditating and I failed! I give myself credit for at least trying!!! It was hilarious though that my first attempt to put my mind at ease was sabotaged by the fact that my friend who invited me got lost on our way there. I don’t know what it is with him, this guy is absolutely clueless when it comes to driving, directions and narrowing down a place. Most guys are good at controlling the wheel and finding their way through very easily but this friend of mine is like a girl that’s why we get along so well!
He is a born “tapatio” (Guadalajara native) and he has been driving for many years but he still manages to get lost. How? I haven’t got the slightest clue.
By the time we found the place it was too late and I didn’t want to interrupt anybody’s peace and their encounter with their inner selves so we choose to go have dinner when we weren’t even hungry! I felt guilty because I ate so damn much. I never eat that late (it was almost 10pm) and much less do I pack down that much. It is not even Christmas and I already put on like 3 kilos!!!! (7 pounds). When I got home I was so freaking full that I couldn’t even lie down because the food was right on my throat that I felt like choking. YUCK!
Oh well! I’ll try again later, rather sooner than later I should say.
Ending the year with meditation sounded like a good idea and in fact that is one of my goals for 2011, to relax more (and many more things). There are many projects that I want to accomplish before 2011 ends and I still don’t know how I’ll manage them, I wish I could clone myself to do more but it’s like they say, “when there’s a will, there’s a way.” Or like Philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” So the problem is not really all the things that are yet to come in our journey, the turmoil is deep down us.
So my recommendation to myself is to NOT rush, take each day and project at once and go from there because I’ve rushed before and things totally went out the roof or however that goes. So from my own experience I will not rush and I better not rush! There are still a few things to get done before 2010 ends. We are on a countdown and I need to move, I need to get another car, I need to get many things up and running but for the time being I need to get all my stuff ready for tomorrow (we are heading out for a few days to spend Christmas and perhaps new years away) before I hit the sack and get my beauty sleep. I’m already starting to doze off as I type away my last words. Ok, I better turn off the computer. No, wait! I don’t want to let go because I will leave it here at home so I am going to miss it a lot! My computer is part of me, it goes everywhere I go so leaving it behind for 10 days is so heartbreaking!! Ok, I better stop!
Santa or Bubba
Monday December 20, 2010
I just got back from Soriana, a grocery store close to the American School where I work. I bought a phone card last week so I had to go back to pick up an invoice to give to my accountant at the end of each month (with all my other invoices). There are many things I can write off like gas, car maintenance, phone cards, etc. since I work as an independent contractor. There were a few people waiting in line which was very irritating and I was about to throw a fit but then I thought about it and decided to be patient since it is so close to the holidays and everybody needs warmth these days. Instead of being grumpy, I was very entertained with the cash registers as I listened to them talking and assisting all the clients very quickly.
One of the women told the other one to work faster and the other one instead of getting angry and replying impolitely, she said, “I’m going to protest because the population is increasing a lot, there are too many people and children to attend around these days so I will write a letter to Santa asking him to send me someone to help me because I can’t do the work alone.”
The lady standing in front of me was very pleased with the cashier’s reply too and we were both smiling. This really made our day and taught us a small lesson about politeness so I thought of how we are a few days away from a new beginning and I'd like to share this letter that I came across on the internet once and I’ve had for a few years now.
When I look at that type of writing it makes me go like WOW! That's one amazing writer!
To Whom It May Concern: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole.
He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences Such As: There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace.
And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear,
"On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back off". The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going potty on the Tooth Fairy. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town."
This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You can shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus Member of North American Fairies and Elves Local 209
I just got back from Soriana, a grocery store close to the American School where I work. I bought a phone card last week so I had to go back to pick up an invoice to give to my accountant at the end of each month (with all my other invoices). There are many things I can write off like gas, car maintenance, phone cards, etc. since I work as an independent contractor. There were a few people waiting in line which was very irritating and I was about to throw a fit but then I thought about it and decided to be patient since it is so close to the holidays and everybody needs warmth these days. Instead of being grumpy, I was very entertained with the cash registers as I listened to them talking and assisting all the clients very quickly.
One of the women told the other one to work faster and the other one instead of getting angry and replying impolitely, she said, “I’m going to protest because the population is increasing a lot, there are too many people and children to attend around these days so I will write a letter to Santa asking him to send me someone to help me because I can’t do the work alone.”
The lady standing in front of me was very pleased with the cashier’s reply too and we were both smiling. This really made our day and taught us a small lesson about politeness so I thought of how we are a few days away from a new beginning and I'd like to share this letter that I came across on the internet once and I’ve had for a few years now.
When I look at that type of writing it makes me go like WOW! That's one amazing writer!
To Whom It May Concern: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole.
He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences Such As: There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace.
And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear,
"On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back off". The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going potty on the Tooth Fairy. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town."
This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You can shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus Member of North American Fairies and Elves Local 209
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Women thoughts
Women thoughts
December 19, 2010
What makes me weak? My fears……….
What makes me whole? My religion.
What keeps me standing? My faith.
What makes me compassionate? My selflessness.
What makes me honest? My integrity.
What sustains my mind? My quest for knowledge.
What teaches me all lessons? My mistakes.
What lifts my head high? My pride, not arrogance.
What if I can’t go on? Not an option.
What makes me victorious? My courage to climb.
What makes me competent? My confidence.
What makes me sensual? My insatiable essence.
What makes me beautiful? My everything.
What makes me a woman? My heart.
Who says I need love? I do.
What empowers me? my spirit.
Who am I? I a proud strong woman!
“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, it empties today of its strength.”
December 19, 2010
What makes me weak? My fears……….
What makes me whole? My religion.
What keeps me standing? My faith.
What makes me compassionate? My selflessness.
What makes me honest? My integrity.
What sustains my mind? My quest for knowledge.
What teaches me all lessons? My mistakes.
What lifts my head high? My pride, not arrogance.
What if I can’t go on? Not an option.
What makes me victorious? My courage to climb.
What makes me competent? My confidence.
What makes me sensual? My insatiable essence.
What makes me beautiful? My everything.
What makes me a woman? My heart.
Who says I need love? I do.
What empowers me? my spirit.
Who am I? I a proud strong woman!
“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, it empties today of its strength.”
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Another year
Another year
December 12, 2010
By: Gina Roman
Looking back at 2007, it brought many good moments to my life and as the old year merged with the new one – 2008, it was full of love, promises and hope. Life had brought much more than I had ever desired that often times I thought it was too good to be true; somehow though, shortly after that things took a completely different toll. Unexpected events and my own mistakes made me hit the bottom like never before.
It all started with the economic crisis going down late 2008 (it really hit me just like it did to millions of people worldwide), I had an awful relationship with two family members and was too stubborn to accept my bad behavior, apologize and change for better, as with my personal life, I rushed into a situation that perhaps wasn’t the right time or place and thanks to my immaturity and other factors, things REALLY hit the roof! At around the same time I lost a much loved person in my life that it was too difficult to bear the pain, I was barely recovering when I had a slight car accident right before Christmas, it was a hit and run in which I lost a lot of time, money, energy and effort. Then December 24th came and I was jobless for almost three weeks without generating an income of course. For some reason that season has always been melancholic for me and for many people as well. I don’t know why we get sad because those moments are supposed to be moments of joy, to renew our souls, to repent for our sins and to try not to make the same mistakes again, it is a time that gives us another opportunity to be better people.
The beginning of 2009 was slow, quiet, things were very promising, I was certain that there were many blessings to come soon since almost everything had gone down a few weeks earlier, something good had to happen! With all these things going wrong I was almost 100% sure and hopeful that my personal life would get better, that my partner and I would be able to work things out, settle our differences which in reality I didn’t think it was something impossible to resolve but neither one of us was going through our best moment, we were dealing with different battles and instead of coming closer, those issues ended up opening a huge abyss between us. I held on to that relationship with all my strength but unfortunately for good or bad things never happened.
Things were getting better, or so I thought! April came bringing another unpleasant surprise along. The internet, TV, the radio, newspapers, and every single media was bombarded with the awful news of the swine flu. “What in the world is that!? Where did it originate? How did it happen?What now?” The entire world came to a halt and everyone was in panic, to this day many people still blame it on Mexico but there are still many speculations and unanswered doubts. I was barely recovering financially and once again me and millions of people were out of work because we had to remain at home to avoid the disease from spreading. There was the president saying “Mexico has always been able to pull through many crisis and we will pull through this one.”
I don’t even recall how long that mess went on for, I was out of work and of course I lost a lot of money once again since I work as an independent contractor. All I remember is that I was very eager to go back to work. “Semana santa” lent came, I was out of work for two weeks and I didn’t generate an income either! When I finally got through that mess life started going back to normality and people were retaking their routines. June and summer came. I was barely starting to heal with my family’s, close friends and my psychologist’s help and with all the things I was doing to come out of the tunnel when I had the worst car accident I’d ever imagined.
I don’t want to talk much about those painful moments because it makes me feel anxious again all I can say is that it wasn’t my fault and it was very time, money and energy consuming. This brought many unpleasant seconds, minutes, hours, days, months. I didn’t have the slightest clue that the next 12 weeks (or more) I’d have to spend most of my time at hospitals, therapy, police departments, the junk yard, meeting strangers, talking to them and getting a ride from them to be able to get to my next stop on time. Being carless and being stranded way out in the outskirts of Guadalajara made me do things I would never do if I hadn’t been in desperate need of a car.
In the midst of that turmoil and that inner battle all I did was curse and cry every single night and day in my idle times and not accept the fact that not one single thing was right in my life – I don’t think I’d ever cried so much in life and I couldn’t even talk about all those things without falling apart because it was too painful but with the divine power of God and time we are all able to find inner peace sooner or later if we hold on to the good things we have in life.
I always tell myself that I won’t write so much next time but I mention all these things because things are so much better and different at this time. It took me a long time to understand and accept the fact that sometimes before we reach the top we must “tocar fondo,” hit the bottom, like they say. In the middle of all those painful moments I neglected to see that despite the fact that everything was going wrong, there were many blessings awaiting for me. Just when I had lost faith in God, in life in myself there were many people who were always there for me every single step of the way and more than anything they never lost faith in me.
The reason why I go back to 2007, 2008 and 2009 and 2010 is because those moments were the most painful episodes of life, getting out of bed was such an ordeal and almost every day I wished that I’d vanished because I didn’t want to be me anymore, I didn’t want to feel but today, right now, at this precise minute as I watch my fingers type, the year ends and I ponder about the fact that I am a few days away from another birthday. In less than five days I will be another year older and I am nothing but thankful with life, God and the many people who never gave up on me. I am very grateful that the year is ending and life has given me not one but many opportunities to lock up all the bad memories in a vault and throw it in the ocean to never come back again.
Now more than ever I am convinced that blessings are disguised as tragedies there’s always something hidden behind every single moment of despair but we have to decipher the code and find our way out. It is those moments that make us really come back to reality and become more human, accept life’s down moments, appreciate the good things, hold on to them, bury the bad ones, learn from them and continue our journey.
The end of this year keeps bringing many blessings and I am very joyful to start two new projects that I’ve wanted with all my heart and God knew how much I desired them. It is now that I can see very clearly and understand the way he manifests himself and how he has a plan for every single human being in this earth. For I had NEVER felt him so close, so direct, as clear as I do now. So I want to celebrate this birthday at peace, I will spend the entire day alone, getting to know myself better, reflecting and being grateful for countless blessings that he has given me.
December 12, 2010
By: Gina Roman
Looking back at 2007, it brought many good moments to my life and as the old year merged with the new one – 2008, it was full of love, promises and hope. Life had brought much more than I had ever desired that often times I thought it was too good to be true; somehow though, shortly after that things took a completely different toll. Unexpected events and my own mistakes made me hit the bottom like never before.
It all started with the economic crisis going down late 2008 (it really hit me just like it did to millions of people worldwide), I had an awful relationship with two family members and was too stubborn to accept my bad behavior, apologize and change for better, as with my personal life, I rushed into a situation that perhaps wasn’t the right time or place and thanks to my immaturity and other factors, things REALLY hit the roof! At around the same time I lost a much loved person in my life that it was too difficult to bear the pain, I was barely recovering when I had a slight car accident right before Christmas, it was a hit and run in which I lost a lot of time, money, energy and effort. Then December 24th came and I was jobless for almost three weeks without generating an income of course. For some reason that season has always been melancholic for me and for many people as well. I don’t know why we get sad because those moments are supposed to be moments of joy, to renew our souls, to repent for our sins and to try not to make the same mistakes again, it is a time that gives us another opportunity to be better people.
The beginning of 2009 was slow, quiet, things were very promising, I was certain that there were many blessings to come soon since almost everything had gone down a few weeks earlier, something good had to happen! With all these things going wrong I was almost 100% sure and hopeful that my personal life would get better, that my partner and I would be able to work things out, settle our differences which in reality I didn’t think it was something impossible to resolve but neither one of us was going through our best moment, we were dealing with different battles and instead of coming closer, those issues ended up opening a huge abyss between us. I held on to that relationship with all my strength but unfortunately for good or bad things never happened.
Things were getting better, or so I thought! April came bringing another unpleasant surprise along. The internet, TV, the radio, newspapers, and every single media was bombarded with the awful news of the swine flu. “What in the world is that!? Where did it originate? How did it happen?What now?” The entire world came to a halt and everyone was in panic, to this day many people still blame it on Mexico but there are still many speculations and unanswered doubts. I was barely recovering financially and once again me and millions of people were out of work because we had to remain at home to avoid the disease from spreading. There was the president saying “Mexico has always been able to pull through many crisis and we will pull through this one.”
I don’t even recall how long that mess went on for, I was out of work and of course I lost a lot of money once again since I work as an independent contractor. All I remember is that I was very eager to go back to work. “Semana santa” lent came, I was out of work for two weeks and I didn’t generate an income either! When I finally got through that mess life started going back to normality and people were retaking their routines. June and summer came. I was barely starting to heal with my family’s, close friends and my psychologist’s help and with all the things I was doing to come out of the tunnel when I had the worst car accident I’d ever imagined.
I don’t want to talk much about those painful moments because it makes me feel anxious again all I can say is that it wasn’t my fault and it was very time, money and energy consuming. This brought many unpleasant seconds, minutes, hours, days, months. I didn’t have the slightest clue that the next 12 weeks (or more) I’d have to spend most of my time at hospitals, therapy, police departments, the junk yard, meeting strangers, talking to them and getting a ride from them to be able to get to my next stop on time. Being carless and being stranded way out in the outskirts of Guadalajara made me do things I would never do if I hadn’t been in desperate need of a car.
In the midst of that turmoil and that inner battle all I did was curse and cry every single night and day in my idle times and not accept the fact that not one single thing was right in my life – I don’t think I’d ever cried so much in life and I couldn’t even talk about all those things without falling apart because it was too painful but with the divine power of God and time we are all able to find inner peace sooner or later if we hold on to the good things we have in life.
I always tell myself that I won’t write so much next time but I mention all these things because things are so much better and different at this time. It took me a long time to understand and accept the fact that sometimes before we reach the top we must “tocar fondo,” hit the bottom, like they say. In the middle of all those painful moments I neglected to see that despite the fact that everything was going wrong, there were many blessings awaiting for me. Just when I had lost faith in God, in life in myself there were many people who were always there for me every single step of the way and more than anything they never lost faith in me.
The reason why I go back to 2007, 2008 and 2009 and 2010 is because those moments were the most painful episodes of life, getting out of bed was such an ordeal and almost every day I wished that I’d vanished because I didn’t want to be me anymore, I didn’t want to feel but today, right now, at this precise minute as I watch my fingers type, the year ends and I ponder about the fact that I am a few days away from another birthday. In less than five days I will be another year older and I am nothing but thankful with life, God and the many people who never gave up on me. I am very grateful that the year is ending and life has given me not one but many opportunities to lock up all the bad memories in a vault and throw it in the ocean to never come back again.
Now more than ever I am convinced that blessings are disguised as tragedies there’s always something hidden behind every single moment of despair but we have to decipher the code and find our way out. It is those moments that make us really come back to reality and become more human, accept life’s down moments, appreciate the good things, hold on to them, bury the bad ones, learn from them and continue our journey.
The end of this year keeps bringing many blessings and I am very joyful to start two new projects that I’ve wanted with all my heart and God knew how much I desired them. It is now that I can see very clearly and understand the way he manifests himself and how he has a plan for every single human being in this earth. For I had NEVER felt him so close, so direct, as clear as I do now. So I want to celebrate this birthday at peace, I will spend the entire day alone, getting to know myself better, reflecting and being grateful for countless blessings that he has given me.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Caballero
Caballero
By: Gina Roman
December 5, 2010
I meant to publish this before but I was somewhat hesitant about it because I wanted to keep this to myself. I am so selfish when it comes to creating something. Especially because it has a special meaning so I wanted it FOR MY EYES ONLY but what the heck!
It’s Friday night November 19, after such a long, intense and overwhelming day, I am sitting in the living room (of a relative’s house, one of my aunts through my mom’s side) putting all the pieces together for my next article after that intense and risky interview I did earlier this morning. Reflecting on it has probably been the most challenging and risky interview I’ve ever done because there are too many people and things at stake, even I so it is better to let sleeping dogs for the time being. The only thought of this morning and the knot I felt on my throat doubting whether or not I’d be able to pull through this one made me feel this profound anxiety in my stomach and I felt very nauseated again so I much rather incline towards the most pleasant part of my day.
After all this tossing and turning and a sleepless night, I started my day at 4:30 am to be at the airport at 6 to head to Mexico City for a few reasons that I mentioned before. Taking a siesta on the plane was out of the question since my mind was restless as usual thinking of how I Never in life did I have the slightest clue of what I’d be doing in Mexico but here I am.
I was very happy to arrive to the airport on time to meet a friend of mine that I am very fond of ("G", I may have already mentioned him). "G" is one of the most special male friends I’ve ever met because ever since we met he has been very transparent and natural, “he is simply himself.” He doesn’t have to hide behind a mask and pretend he is someone else and that is what really drew me to make him a part of my life time friends.
I don’t meant to brag about the men I’ve met but let’s say that cipher has been more than enough to get my share of losers, stoners, lazy asses, jerk offs, abusers, conformists, jackasses, cheaters, liars, selfish, vain, flakes, arrogant dudes who always try to impress me and every single woman with their arrogance or they try to hold me back. With this said, I am not implying that I am a high maintenance woman or the hottest chick in town. NOT at all, I can be that sure! but what REALLY impresses me is a man who is very down to earth, someone who’s got his feet well grounded, someone who has dreams and goals and actually achieves them, someone who is not full of himself, someone who has gone through down times to get to the top, someone who understands and accepts the fact that I am multicultural, someone who is able to see outside his narrow little world and likes and enjoys helping those in need, someone who likes to workout (within reason) someone who is hard working and more than anything an honest and transparent man, a TRUE “caballero” (gentleman);
Yeah! That’s the most proper adjective to describe the man who really impresses me. Now, let’s say that I was not used to that because in the U. S. men are not as traditional as in Mexico - at least before because nowadays most men are such savage beasts everywhere you go.
So to make the long and boring story short, “G” is a REAL “caballero,” (a gentleman). This adjective is the most proper word to describe him; actually he describes this adjective. I can count the few priceless moments I’ve seen him but each time I see him he is always “G.” He is very polite and he knows how to treat a woman, he opens the door of the car, he pulls the chair for me to sit down when we’ve gone out for lunch and when he compliments me he finds the most proper and sweet words; to him I always look good even if I had a piece of gum stuck on my hair, he’d still think I’m “guapa,” like he’s told me many times.
When we met I was going through the worst crisis in my life and when the simple fact of getting out of bed in the morning was such an ordeal. I’ve always taken care of my “persona” especially since I am a health and fitness advisor but at that moment sadness was eating me up and every single part of my body and pore of my face reflected it, I lost so much weight that I soon started looking puny and skeletal but he still thought I looked good.
I am only putting my mind to work as usual and perhaps other people may not be able to see what I see in him. Most of the time I am way more analytical and observative than a lot of humans but this intense day really left me thinking even more and I wonder if people reflect as much as I do or if they do at all. “Perhaps, as for Gina Yoryet, she must get that from being a writer and all the investigation and research involved, plus she gets that from the chismosa (gossip) within.” LOL!
BUT right now at this precise moment, I think and the more I reflect, the more amazed I get and I realize how much knowledge I lack of my surroundings, of my culture, my community, my world, my universe, of myself and the more I think about how much I don’t know I feel more ignorant and dummy. That is one of the reasons why I love to manifest myself through writing and as I manifest my thoughts on paper, I watch as my fingers grip, staring at the pen moving upon the paper…………I am amazed as I observe the way ink creates a word, the way that word creates a meaning and the way the meaning creates a purpose and the way the purpose creates an action and how the action creates a destiny and how EACH human being creates their own destiny. As for me, that destiny is writing. Life without writing would be pointless as it has become part of me; it complements the person I am now because it helps me learn everything into more depth.
As for “G” I strongly believe that we meet people for a reason so he came to my life to stay forever, not as a partner but as a lifetime close friend. It doesn’t matter whether or not we see each other once a year or once every five years, he’ll always be that “caballero” friend who will appreciate me as the woman I am and he’ll make me feel “guapa” again.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thankful
Thankful 2010
Wednesday November 23rd, 2010
Queridos Familia y Amigos
I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your love, encouragement and support in 2010 and throughout life; whether it’s been your prayers, positive vibes, money, or letting me vent on the phone….I would not have been able to experience this insightful journey in Mexico (that has not ended) without all of you. Hermanas preciosas, my role models, my inspiration I don’t have the words to express all my admiration, gratitude and respect for each one of you.… Susy, Mandy, Tammy and Lily Muchas Gracias por ser parte de mi vida, I love you beautiful ladies! Mayte, prima querida pero más loca que nadie que he conocido, tú sabes que te quiero y te apoyo en todas tus locuras. Norma my priceless and gorgeous prima, thanks for all the good times and all the advice you’ve given me throughout all these years, it doesn’t matter whether or not we see each other as often as we may wish as long as we know that we love each other and we’ll always be just a phone call or email away. Having lived in Guadalajara for a little over five years has brought many wonderful…… and bad experiences which have opened my eyes to a whole new world that has been a part of me since the day I was born but I neglected to see it for a long time. Ojo: lots of espanglish ahead.
Esta mañana as I took a cold shower I had time to reflect about all the turmoil and tragedies happening in México and I couldn’t help but feel a profound emptiness in my heart and in my soul but at the same time I felt VERY grateful for all the amazing things and wonderful people in my journey. Although Thanksgiving is THE perfect day to appreciate the countless blessings in our lives we don’t have to await for this specific holiday as each day is a new promise and it gives us many chances to start anew.
So before expressing my appreciation I’d like to ponder on some of the experiences I’ve been through which have made me feel even more fortunate.
In 2005 when I was part of la otra campaña I was able to see……………………...
Men and women working 14-16 hour days for 45 pesos or roughly $4.50; the organization, solidarity, and unity of different types of people not only on a national level, but an international one; the presence of chicanos, mexicanos and people del otro lado; people fighting and struggling their entire lives; an anger so deep that they are willing to die fighting, not for money or richness, but for their families and land, their mother earth.
I learned……
That the only way to really see and listen is with the heart; people who have less, offer the most; and most of all, I have learned that before we can even think about changing our community, our country, the world, the change must start within each one of us. I have also learned to be self dependent because no one will always be there to do everything for me, the way it was before.
After listening to the voices of these people I began to feel their pain and suffering. Throughout my travels, their stories and their palabras began touching my heart. Listening to them sent shivers through my body; but their anger, resistance and courage began to run through my veins and stirred something inside of me. During these brief but profound moments in la Otra Campaña, each child I played with, don o doña I spoke with, each danza o cancion I heard began to touch my Corazon, until I realized it was filled with love for this country, this culture, this raza-mi raza. And then I concluded that we truly are connected, and although I am from el otro lado, las raices run through my blood and the border really is only an imaginary line, because no migra, minute man, or muro can keep our hearts from uniting and fighting for what we believe and know……..that another world is possible------Otro mundo sí es possible!!!
In the end, I experienced a personal transformation that changed me indefinitely, and I have all of you to thank for being a part of this journey we call life.
That’s why today I am even more thankful for all these things and moreover to be alive:
For the mother I have who calls me when I am in the middle of class to ask me “¿vas a venir a casa?” “pasa por un kilo de tortillas.” Because I know she’s only a few miles away.
For the siblings I have even though they are oceans away because I know they care about me and time and distance will never matter.
For my crying nephews because they bring peace, hope and happiness into my life. For the taxes I pay to FREAKING hacienda because it means I am another one of their slaves……… I mean, because I am employed.
For the mess to clean after a get together because it means I’ve been surrounded by friends.
For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
For being able to talk to myself during all those long and lonely drives because it means that I have a voice.
For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.
For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech – although “freedom of speech” is the most abstract idea I’ve ever known of.
For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking. And I have been blessed with transportation.
For my huge heating bill because it means I am warm.
For the ice cold showers I take in the mornings when I don’t make it to the gym because I don’t know how the damn boiler works and my roommate is never home to help me get it started!
For the lady behind me at church who sings off key because it means I can hear.
For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have something to wear and I don’t have to go out in the street butt naked.
For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I’ve been capable of working hard.
For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours to wake me up (wait! I don’t need an alarm)
For dealing with insomnia and waking up before the entire world because I can enjoy the day for longer hours.
For I have friends who are thinking about me and accept me as the IMPERFECT human being I am.
For my students that bring so much happiness and special moments to my life.
For the endless mistakes I’ve made because they have forged me into a better person.
For all the “pelados” on the street who yell at me “bombón” when the first ray of sun hasn’t even come out yet because I feel attractive again.
For all those who have pushed me to compete with my own self (and not with others) and strive for the best.
For all the knowledge I have because nobody will ever take it away; it’ll be with me until I cease to exist.
For the fear I’ve felt every single day before I hop out of bed and which has NEVER prevented me from doing a single thing I’ve wanted to do in life.
For every day getting closer to accomplishing the woman I was meant to become.
For having faith once more and for holding on to God.
For being in México once again because I have a mission to accomplish in this country.
For the wisdom marks (wrinkles) on my face because they’re proof that I’ve become a much more intelligent woman.
For having my heart broken for I know what it’s like to love and be loved.
For all the people I’ve met from all walks of life; from the wealthiest individuals to those who live at the bottom of society, in the poorest conditions and in “todos los rincones.”
For those “princesas y guerreras, mujeres de hierro y de cristal,” those women who have been my role models, mentors and unconditional friends.
To Magguie Merino, Ana Gaby Elizondo and Graciela Zamudio for giving me the opportunity to be a part of Acortar Distancias.
Thank God and life for giving me many opportunities and for helping me feel alive and joyful again.
For being able to express myself through writing
To Veronica for being so positive and for giving me strength to keep going and fighting.
And last but not least, I am THANKFUL for the crazy people I work with because they make work interesting and fun (and chaotic at times).
Wednesday November 23rd, 2010
Queridos Familia y Amigos
I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your love, encouragement and support in 2010 and throughout life; whether it’s been your prayers, positive vibes, money, or letting me vent on the phone….I would not have been able to experience this insightful journey in Mexico (that has not ended) without all of you. Hermanas preciosas, my role models, my inspiration I don’t have the words to express all my admiration, gratitude and respect for each one of you.… Susy, Mandy, Tammy and Lily Muchas Gracias por ser parte de mi vida, I love you beautiful ladies! Mayte, prima querida pero más loca que nadie que he conocido, tú sabes que te quiero y te apoyo en todas tus locuras. Norma my priceless and gorgeous prima, thanks for all the good times and all the advice you’ve given me throughout all these years, it doesn’t matter whether or not we see each other as often as we may wish as long as we know that we love each other and we’ll always be just a phone call or email away. Having lived in Guadalajara for a little over five years has brought many wonderful…… and bad experiences which have opened my eyes to a whole new world that has been a part of me since the day I was born but I neglected to see it for a long time. Ojo: lots of espanglish ahead.
Esta mañana as I took a cold shower I had time to reflect about all the turmoil and tragedies happening in México and I couldn’t help but feel a profound emptiness in my heart and in my soul but at the same time I felt VERY grateful for all the amazing things and wonderful people in my journey. Although Thanksgiving is THE perfect day to appreciate the countless blessings in our lives we don’t have to await for this specific holiday as each day is a new promise and it gives us many chances to start anew.
So before expressing my appreciation I’d like to ponder on some of the experiences I’ve been through which have made me feel even more fortunate.
In 2005 when I was part of la otra campaña I was able to see……………………...
Men and women working 14-16 hour days for 45 pesos or roughly $4.50; the organization, solidarity, and unity of different types of people not only on a national level, but an international one; the presence of chicanos, mexicanos and people del otro lado; people fighting and struggling their entire lives; an anger so deep that they are willing to die fighting, not for money or richness, but for their families and land, their mother earth.
I learned……
That the only way to really see and listen is with the heart; people who have less, offer the most; and most of all, I have learned that before we can even think about changing our community, our country, the world, the change must start within each one of us. I have also learned to be self dependent because no one will always be there to do everything for me, the way it was before.
After listening to the voices of these people I began to feel their pain and suffering. Throughout my travels, their stories and their palabras began touching my heart. Listening to them sent shivers through my body; but their anger, resistance and courage began to run through my veins and stirred something inside of me. During these brief but profound moments in la Otra Campaña, each child I played with, don o doña I spoke with, each danza o cancion I heard began to touch my Corazon, until I realized it was filled with love for this country, this culture, this raza-mi raza. And then I concluded that we truly are connected, and although I am from el otro lado, las raices run through my blood and the border really is only an imaginary line, because no migra, minute man, or muro can keep our hearts from uniting and fighting for what we believe and know……..that another world is possible------Otro mundo sí es possible!!!
In the end, I experienced a personal transformation that changed me indefinitely, and I have all of you to thank for being a part of this journey we call life.
That’s why today I am even more thankful for all these things and moreover to be alive:
For the mother I have who calls me when I am in the middle of class to ask me “¿vas a venir a casa?” “pasa por un kilo de tortillas.” Because I know she’s only a few miles away.
For the siblings I have even though they are oceans away because I know they care about me and time and distance will never matter.
For my crying nephews because they bring peace, hope and happiness into my life. For the taxes I pay to FREAKING hacienda because it means I am another one of their slaves……… I mean, because I am employed.
For the mess to clean after a get together because it means I’ve been surrounded by friends.
For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
For being able to talk to myself during all those long and lonely drives because it means that I have a voice.
For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.
For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech – although “freedom of speech” is the most abstract idea I’ve ever known of.
For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking. And I have been blessed with transportation.
For my huge heating bill because it means I am warm.
For the ice cold showers I take in the mornings when I don’t make it to the gym because I don’t know how the damn boiler works and my roommate is never home to help me get it started!
For the lady behind me at church who sings off key because it means I can hear.
For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have something to wear and I don’t have to go out in the street butt naked.
For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I’ve been capable of working hard.
For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours to wake me up (wait! I don’t need an alarm)
For dealing with insomnia and waking up before the entire world because I can enjoy the day for longer hours.
For I have friends who are thinking about me and accept me as the IMPERFECT human being I am.
For my students that bring so much happiness and special moments to my life.
For the endless mistakes I’ve made because they have forged me into a better person.
For all the “pelados” on the street who yell at me “bombón” when the first ray of sun hasn’t even come out yet because I feel attractive again.
For all those who have pushed me to compete with my own self (and not with others) and strive for the best.
For all the knowledge I have because nobody will ever take it away; it’ll be with me until I cease to exist.
For the fear I’ve felt every single day before I hop out of bed and which has NEVER prevented me from doing a single thing I’ve wanted to do in life.
For every day getting closer to accomplishing the woman I was meant to become.
For having faith once more and for holding on to God.
For being in México once again because I have a mission to accomplish in this country.
For the wisdom marks (wrinkles) on my face because they’re proof that I’ve become a much more intelligent woman.
For having my heart broken for I know what it’s like to love and be loved.
For all the people I’ve met from all walks of life; from the wealthiest individuals to those who live at the bottom of society, in the poorest conditions and in “todos los rincones.”
For those “princesas y guerreras, mujeres de hierro y de cristal,” those women who have been my role models, mentors and unconditional friends.
To Magguie Merino, Ana Gaby Elizondo and Graciela Zamudio for giving me the opportunity to be a part of Acortar Distancias.
Thank God and life for giving me many opportunities and for helping me feel alive and joyful again.
For being able to express myself through writing
To Veronica for being so positive and for giving me strength to keep going and fighting.
And last but not least, I am THANKFUL for the crazy people I work with because they make work interesting and fun (and chaotic at times).
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Mexico City family reunion
Family reunion in Mexico City
By: Gina Roman
November 21st, 2010
Being able to welcome the light of a new day is one of the many blessings in life and what’s even better is that those moments are free of cost.
Most of the time I welcome the promise of a new day at the crack of dawn when I’m trying to break a sweat at the gym at 5am or sometimes even at 4:45 or 4:50. YIKES! It sounds crazy but yes, when most people are enjoying their last minutes of snooze I am already up and running. Everyone I know thinks I am REAL nut case because they all enjoy sleeping and I do too but I just can’t get myself to sleep in more and sometimes I get frustrated because I automatically wake up at 5am or before even on Sundays!
I don’t even need a damn rooster to wake me up at 5am like people did back in the day in Mexico (some people in the outskirts of the main cities still do) because they are not that technology friendly. I always laugh and tell myself that I literally wake the rooster up!
Before I came down with a knee injury I was able to focus more on my workouts, I worked out like a savage, I’d always kick my butt at the gym with some intense routines – most of them cardio, indoor or outdoor running especially when I used to compete. Now that I can hardly do anything with my left leg I only do brisk walks so my mind tends to wander around, (if my mind could never stay still before, now it is less likely to do it).
That’s why I love staying busy to avoid myself from thinking because sometimes the more we think, the less we act, our mind can be such a tricky traitor and it paralyzes us.
This weekend even though it was busy there was a lot of idle time so I had a lot of time to think. As hard as I tried to take a nap on the flight to Mexico City (I went to D. F. to take care of a few things), it was impossible. Once again my restless mind kept going around in circles about a million things. I thought about all my plans and goals for 2011 and of course I was so excited to meet a very special friend.
On Friday morning I flew to Mexico City for a few reasons. I arrived to the airport at 8am and I met “G” a friend of mine who I’m very fond of (we met late last year when I was in the midst of the worst crisis I’d ever been through). Despite the fact that we never discussed our personal lives there was always so much more to chat and I guess that is the reason we totally clicked from the get go. I won’t go into details about that time in my life but G helped me get myself esteem back, he was always so polite and, “un verdadero caballero,” a true gentleman like they say in Mexico.
To make the story short, we’ve kept in touch since then AND believe it or not we coincided at the airport in Mexico City. We had breakfast together, we chatted between phone calls and text messages. It cracks me up when he always tells me that he’s never too busy for me and the few times we meet up, he’s always on the phone, on his computer, text messaging someone but I understand completely because he’s a business man and first things first.
We are both completely aware that it is almost impossible to meet up because we live in different countries, our work/business, our schedule, our families, etc. but it doesn’t matter, like I told him on the phone when we talked Tuesday night. Regardless of how seldom we see or email each other, he’s a keeper, he’ll always be just a phone call or email away.
After that I had to run outside to meet the person that I was going to interview for an article I have to write. I can’t talk about this issue for the time being; all I can say is that it was a very intense but productive interview, unlike others not because they haven’t been productive but because of the fact that it was a bit risky. There are many people and information involved and there is so much at stake so I won't even go there.
We drove to have lunch at VIPS, and then we went to his house to get the interview done without interruptions. I found out so many things that I'm not surprised about but it sounds like if we were living in a movie.
I thought I wouldn’t be able to pull through this one but I did. I felt relieved when my cousins picked me up. We went to their house to chat and for an express workout. That was the shortest and lightest workout I’d had in years! Funny because my cousins thought I was so tough on them, they were dripping sweat.
After that I met up my mother, she’s there spending time some with her relatives. There was a huge family reunion on Saturday and I really wanted to see my cousins, aunts and uncles I hadn’t seen in more than 20 years! Some of them I didn’t even know so I was really in the mood of meeting them see what they’re like and chat with them.
On Saturday morning we woke up, got ready and left to the reunion at about 11. I was really in the mood of going out to a quiet bar with my cousins but everybody flaked out at the last minute, “cómo Buenos Mexicanos,” like good Mexicans. I wasn’t surprised or disappointed because I was pretty much dead after the party anyway.
I really don’t know how people have so much energy to party out! I party out VERY seldom and when and if I’m able to get myself together and go out, I can NEVER pull an all nighter or much less dedicate the WHOLE day to just lounge around, eat and, get bored and do NOTHING productive!
Even though I had tons of fun like I hadn’t in years, I felt like I didn’t fit in, I felt like a stranger because our lifestyles don't match at all.
Many times I avoid spending too much time with relatives because they always wonder why I haven’t gotten married or had children. That seems to be their main topic of concern and those things are very suffocating! Plus I hate being the subject of conversation, I despise having to answers questions, give explanations, I hate talking about my personal life and so forth.
Like I said before, we got there at about 11:30am and we left at almost 11pm! That was a LONG time! Even though I was busy dancing, packing down, drinking and chatting, I still missed my quiet weekend! I couldn’t help feeling guilty of not being productive enough.
There was something I found quite interesting, I noticed how everyone has a nickname for everyone and I don’t know how to take that! “negra, cachetón, panzón, cabrón, chaparro, chillón, are some of the names I heard.” I even got one. They think I’m very skinny so they started calling me “huesos,” which means bones or bonny looking. The thing is that I am VERY hyperactive, I can’t sit still for even a minute and they lounge around too much. They think my lifestyle is abnormal because of what I eat and because they think I workout too much.
Nicknaming people is very common among Mexicans, I remember back home when I was in High School and Junior High, Mexican kids were very cruel, they used to call my sisters and I “Chinese bastards,” it really hurt my feelings and made me cry so that must’ve been the reason why I didn’t know what to make out of them addressing each other with a nickname.
There were many things going through my mind since my head was not busy working on something but I was somehow able to escape for about an hour and get a little bit of writing done. I don’t want to break one of my goals (to write) once a week even though it may not be a lot I don’t want to miss a single week without writing and I better get some sleep because there are still a few things to get done before I head back to Guadalajara. I'll get into more detail about this getaway once I'm back in Guadalajara.
By: Gina Roman
November 21st, 2010
Being able to welcome the light of a new day is one of the many blessings in life and what’s even better is that those moments are free of cost.
Most of the time I welcome the promise of a new day at the crack of dawn when I’m trying to break a sweat at the gym at 5am or sometimes even at 4:45 or 4:50. YIKES! It sounds crazy but yes, when most people are enjoying their last minutes of snooze I am already up and running. Everyone I know thinks I am REAL nut case because they all enjoy sleeping and I do too but I just can’t get myself to sleep in more and sometimes I get frustrated because I automatically wake up at 5am or before even on Sundays!
I don’t even need a damn rooster to wake me up at 5am like people did back in the day in Mexico (some people in the outskirts of the main cities still do) because they are not that technology friendly. I always laugh and tell myself that I literally wake the rooster up!
Before I came down with a knee injury I was able to focus more on my workouts, I worked out like a savage, I’d always kick my butt at the gym with some intense routines – most of them cardio, indoor or outdoor running especially when I used to compete. Now that I can hardly do anything with my left leg I only do brisk walks so my mind tends to wander around, (if my mind could never stay still before, now it is less likely to do it).
That’s why I love staying busy to avoid myself from thinking because sometimes the more we think, the less we act, our mind can be such a tricky traitor and it paralyzes us.
This weekend even though it was busy there was a lot of idle time so I had a lot of time to think. As hard as I tried to take a nap on the flight to Mexico City (I went to D. F. to take care of a few things), it was impossible. Once again my restless mind kept going around in circles about a million things. I thought about all my plans and goals for 2011 and of course I was so excited to meet a very special friend.
On Friday morning I flew to Mexico City for a few reasons. I arrived to the airport at 8am and I met “G” a friend of mine who I’m very fond of (we met late last year when I was in the midst of the worst crisis I’d ever been through). Despite the fact that we never discussed our personal lives there was always so much more to chat and I guess that is the reason we totally clicked from the get go. I won’t go into details about that time in my life but G helped me get myself esteem back, he was always so polite and, “un verdadero caballero,” a true gentleman like they say in Mexico.
To make the story short, we’ve kept in touch since then AND believe it or not we coincided at the airport in Mexico City. We had breakfast together, we chatted between phone calls and text messages. It cracks me up when he always tells me that he’s never too busy for me and the few times we meet up, he’s always on the phone, on his computer, text messaging someone but I understand completely because he’s a business man and first things first.
We are both completely aware that it is almost impossible to meet up because we live in different countries, our work/business, our schedule, our families, etc. but it doesn’t matter, like I told him on the phone when we talked Tuesday night. Regardless of how seldom we see or email each other, he’s a keeper, he’ll always be just a phone call or email away.
After that I had to run outside to meet the person that I was going to interview for an article I have to write. I can’t talk about this issue for the time being; all I can say is that it was a very intense but productive interview, unlike others not because they haven’t been productive but because of the fact that it was a bit risky. There are many people and information involved and there is so much at stake so I won't even go there.
We drove to have lunch at VIPS, and then we went to his house to get the interview done without interruptions. I found out so many things that I'm not surprised about but it sounds like if we were living in a movie.
I thought I wouldn’t be able to pull through this one but I did. I felt relieved when my cousins picked me up. We went to their house to chat and for an express workout. That was the shortest and lightest workout I’d had in years! Funny because my cousins thought I was so tough on them, they were dripping sweat.
After that I met up my mother, she’s there spending time some with her relatives. There was a huge family reunion on Saturday and I really wanted to see my cousins, aunts and uncles I hadn’t seen in more than 20 years! Some of them I didn’t even know so I was really in the mood of meeting them see what they’re like and chat with them.
On Saturday morning we woke up, got ready and left to the reunion at about 11. I was really in the mood of going out to a quiet bar with my cousins but everybody flaked out at the last minute, “cómo Buenos Mexicanos,” like good Mexicans. I wasn’t surprised or disappointed because I was pretty much dead after the party anyway.
I really don’t know how people have so much energy to party out! I party out VERY seldom and when and if I’m able to get myself together and go out, I can NEVER pull an all nighter or much less dedicate the WHOLE day to just lounge around, eat and, get bored and do NOTHING productive!
Even though I had tons of fun like I hadn’t in years, I felt like I didn’t fit in, I felt like a stranger because our lifestyles don't match at all.
Many times I avoid spending too much time with relatives because they always wonder why I haven’t gotten married or had children. That seems to be their main topic of concern and those things are very suffocating! Plus I hate being the subject of conversation, I despise having to answers questions, give explanations, I hate talking about my personal life and so forth.
Like I said before, we got there at about 11:30am and we left at almost 11pm! That was a LONG time! Even though I was busy dancing, packing down, drinking and chatting, I still missed my quiet weekend! I couldn’t help feeling guilty of not being productive enough.
There was something I found quite interesting, I noticed how everyone has a nickname for everyone and I don’t know how to take that! “negra, cachetón, panzón, cabrón, chaparro, chillón, are some of the names I heard.” I even got one. They think I’m very skinny so they started calling me “huesos,” which means bones or bonny looking. The thing is that I am VERY hyperactive, I can’t sit still for even a minute and they lounge around too much. They think my lifestyle is abnormal because of what I eat and because they think I workout too much.
Nicknaming people is very common among Mexicans, I remember back home when I was in High School and Junior High, Mexican kids were very cruel, they used to call my sisters and I “Chinese bastards,” it really hurt my feelings and made me cry so that must’ve been the reason why I didn’t know what to make out of them addressing each other with a nickname.
There were many things going through my mind since my head was not busy working on something but I was somehow able to escape for about an hour and get a little bit of writing done. I don’t want to break one of my goals (to write) once a week even though it may not be a lot I don’t want to miss a single week without writing and I better get some sleep because there are still a few things to get done before I head back to Guadalajara. I'll get into more detail about this getaway once I'm back in Guadalajara.
Monday, November 15, 2010
"El Ponchis"
Challenges of the heart
El Ponchis
By: Gina Roman
November 15, 2010
Ok, so I gave up on listening to Madonna on youtube because my internet connection is way too slow upstairs which is where my room is. I could bake a cake and the damn thing would be ready before I can listen to a song without any stops.
Listen to music is on my bucket list of goals to be able to enjoy life a little more. That bucket keeps getting bigger and bigger every time as I fill it up with more wishes and desires.
Another one of many goals for next year is to sleep more because I have a SERIOUS sleeping problem! Earlier this week – on Monday night if I’m not mistaken, I realized that I had barely enough gas to get me to one more place but I didn’t stop to pump gas because it was too late and I was exhausted and annoyed because of the traffic jam due to the opening of ANOTHER casino! As if Guadalajara needed more places like that. I wonder why they don’t invest more money on libraries, art, museums, educational sites, sports facilities, something more productive!
That goes beyond me and I can’t control it so anyhow, I set up my alarm 15 minutes earlier (or so I thought) to make sure I wasn’t late to the gym.
Well when I got the gym I realized that it was 5:15am! It didn’t even feel like it because I was pretty pumped up, I am totally a morning person, the am hours is definitely when I’m at my best. I was thinking of what a nut I am to be awake at the crack of dawn when the majority of the population is trying to squeeze in their last moments of sleep. And also because sometimes I wear myself out to death, it’s about going, going and going until my body can’t take it anymore so I end up “sleeping in.” (Sleeping in for me is 7am).
Another goal is to NOT be so hard on myself when I don’t make it to the gym like this morning I was too tired, I was recovering from the weekend. I went out TWO days in a row! Friday and Saturday, that is to break the record for me because my nights out happen VERY seldom these days.
I also decided to write more on my blog even though my blogs may not be that long, a few short ones here and there throughout the week so I can let everything out of my chest.
One more goal is to dedicate more time to myself since I’ve been pondering on the fact that most of this year and last year everything else came before me; work, my family, charity work, engagements, etc. but my writing, my reading, my time to myself and my workouts were somehow forgotten because I didn’t put as much time into them as I would’ve liked.
I was feeling the guilt trip BIG TIME because “I” was left on the back burner for so long but this weekend was unlike many past weekends. On Friday night, I had a girl’s night out with my mom and my sister in law, we went out for dinner and for a drink, I only had a piña colada and boy did I feel it! I am so not tolerant to alcohol anymore especially when I go on “nun mode” months and months can go by without going out and without tasting a single drop of booze. I was WAY MORE disciplined when I was much younger and when I used to compete long distance, track and field and cross country.
On Saturday morning as sluggish and unmotivated as I was feeling, I forced myself to get up and go get my work out of the way. My lazy side kept telling me not to go, and thought “what’s the point of going if your left knee has been injured forever and you don’t see any signs of recovery?” So I decided to turn off that squeaky complaining voice that kept pulling me towards the blankets, switched my thinking mode off and hopped out of bed. After that I went to work (on a translation that I’ve been working on forever because my client keeps pushing back the deadline) at Starbucks right below my gym. Then I went and got a pedicure, a facial, got my arms waxed and my eyebrows and my hair trimmed, I even got my hair dyed!! To complement that soothing day, that evening I went out to dinner to an exquisite Indian restaurant with my best friend (my sister away from “home”) Mariana and her visiting co-worker from New York, we went to Nude this elegant bar but it was dead and before we knew it, we started dozing off. The crowd was a bit older than us, ha ha! As old as we may feel sometimes, we were definitely the young crowd there that night, everyone else seemed to be in their late 50’s, 60’s. After that we went to “el Callejon de los Rumberos,” this fun salsa place and just when we arrived there was a salsa performance, we got a full scope of those Goddess looking dancers, male and female. Ball room dancers always have amazing bodies which I have a lot of respect for and I feel a little jealous of (in a good way) because I want to look like that!
So no complaints about my weekends because this time “I” was not put in a dusty and hidden vault, I got the whole nine yards! The whole enchilada!
All this special pampering was such a good feeling and I kept thinking about how for the first time I’m REALLY looking forward to the holidays because I will take time off and I have so much to do (for me), I’ll have more time to work out, I’ll be gone for about ten days with part of my family, blah, blah, blah.
I was on cloud number nine, feeling all infatuated until I got connected to the internet and read the news about all the crime and violence going on in Mexico and I was in SHOCK after coming across “El Ponchis” a twelve year old boy in Morelos that is now the highest sought bloodthirsty hitman in Mexico! It was horrifying, it was too much to take; it was extremely sad and empty. Needless to say that brought me back to this crude reality.
Here I was thinking about me and feeling all guilty about not dedicating more time to myself and thinking about all the things I need when in reality I don’t need anything. I am healthy, I have work with its ups and downs but it is still work, I’m not lonely, I have a family, I have a few true friends which is more than enough, my heart is finally at ease, there are so many amazing things in life. It is revolting of how much we think about ourselves; how many times we let our feelings lead us and how many times we think about “I, I, I? For example, how many times have I used “I” in this article? What subject is the protagonist of most if not all of my blogs?
What about El Ponchis (the article didn’t reveal his real name) though? What are the reasons behind him doing this? Where are his parents? What drove him to do this? How did he get influenced into this rubbish? Is he completely conscious of the impact of all the crimes he’s committed? (They show pictures of him slashing a man’s throat, torturing others, pictures of him flashing his weapons, his drugs and his cars) Does he feel remorse? Why is there so much anger in him? Does he enjoy doing this? Is he aware that he’s only twelve and waht he will become as an adult? What was he missing? Was he missing love, affection, money, and understanding? What does he want from life? Who and what deprived him from his childhood and his innocence? Where will he end up? What is destiny holding for him? Does he have other goals and dreams? What demon is he fighting within?
My heart goes out to him and to all the people he’s deprived from life and all the ones he’s hurt.
There are so many mixed emotions inside me right now that I can’t stop writing, I don’t recall how long it’s been since I last wrote so much. Most Sundays I sit in front of my computer staring at it because even though I do come up with tons of ideas I don’t feel inspired to write because I can’t put my ideas together.
Many times I don’t get humanity, we are alive, we love each other, yet we hurt one another, we are able but unwilling to forgive, we hold a grudge forever and many times we are vindictive that we destroy ourselves by destroying others. We are unhappy with all the blessings life has given us. We complain, we feel anxiety, anger, lack of peace, envy, depression, emptiness, bitterness, despair, grief, fear, guilt
The human heart is the most deceitful of all things and it is desperately wicked, we are always guided by our feelings. The word “I” is the most frequently used word all over the world if I’m not mistaken. How many times do we begin a sentence with “I, I feel, I need, I want, I don’t feel, what does life have lined up for me, if only I, I lost all hope in life, I will, I’m afraid?” How many times do people tell you to follow your heart? Our heart is the most deceitful organ in our body because it will focus our mind on what “I want” and it will miss important and obvious aspects of what is better for our loved ones not just “I.”
That is the danger of living being guided by our hearts. But I do believe that we are completely capable of leading our heart by deciding to think about others.
I’ve always been an idealist that’s why Howard Roarke, the main character in Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead” is one of my favorite people even though he doesn’t exist. I believe in this perfect world where somewhere, someday “otro mundo si es possible,” another world is possible! a world in which everyone will be treated equally and looked as a human being and not treated better because of the worth of their house, their car or their business. A world in which nobody would be taken advantage of, somewhere where children like El Ponchis wouldn’t be hurt, abused or corrupted.
The world would change if all of us would stop thinking about “I, I, I, me, me, it is about me and what I want/need desire. Perhaps that will happen in another life cycle and my existence will have ceased before I am able to witness it.
El Ponchis
By: Gina Roman
November 15, 2010
Ok, so I gave up on listening to Madonna on youtube because my internet connection is way too slow upstairs which is where my room is. I could bake a cake and the damn thing would be ready before I can listen to a song without any stops.
Listen to music is on my bucket list of goals to be able to enjoy life a little more. That bucket keeps getting bigger and bigger every time as I fill it up with more wishes and desires.
Another one of many goals for next year is to sleep more because I have a SERIOUS sleeping problem! Earlier this week – on Monday night if I’m not mistaken, I realized that I had barely enough gas to get me to one more place but I didn’t stop to pump gas because it was too late and I was exhausted and annoyed because of the traffic jam due to the opening of ANOTHER casino! As if Guadalajara needed more places like that. I wonder why they don’t invest more money on libraries, art, museums, educational sites, sports facilities, something more productive!
That goes beyond me and I can’t control it so anyhow, I set up my alarm 15 minutes earlier (or so I thought) to make sure I wasn’t late to the gym.
Well when I got the gym I realized that it was 5:15am! It didn’t even feel like it because I was pretty pumped up, I am totally a morning person, the am hours is definitely when I’m at my best. I was thinking of what a nut I am to be awake at the crack of dawn when the majority of the population is trying to squeeze in their last moments of sleep. And also because sometimes I wear myself out to death, it’s about going, going and going until my body can’t take it anymore so I end up “sleeping in.” (Sleeping in for me is 7am).
Another goal is to NOT be so hard on myself when I don’t make it to the gym like this morning I was too tired, I was recovering from the weekend. I went out TWO days in a row! Friday and Saturday, that is to break the record for me because my nights out happen VERY seldom these days.
I also decided to write more on my blog even though my blogs may not be that long, a few short ones here and there throughout the week so I can let everything out of my chest.
One more goal is to dedicate more time to myself since I’ve been pondering on the fact that most of this year and last year everything else came before me; work, my family, charity work, engagements, etc. but my writing, my reading, my time to myself and my workouts were somehow forgotten because I didn’t put as much time into them as I would’ve liked.
I was feeling the guilt trip BIG TIME because “I” was left on the back burner for so long but this weekend was unlike many past weekends. On Friday night, I had a girl’s night out with my mom and my sister in law, we went out for dinner and for a drink, I only had a piña colada and boy did I feel it! I am so not tolerant to alcohol anymore especially when I go on “nun mode” months and months can go by without going out and without tasting a single drop of booze. I was WAY MORE disciplined when I was much younger and when I used to compete long distance, track and field and cross country.
On Saturday morning as sluggish and unmotivated as I was feeling, I forced myself to get up and go get my work out of the way. My lazy side kept telling me not to go, and thought “what’s the point of going if your left knee has been injured forever and you don’t see any signs of recovery?” So I decided to turn off that squeaky complaining voice that kept pulling me towards the blankets, switched my thinking mode off and hopped out of bed. After that I went to work (on a translation that I’ve been working on forever because my client keeps pushing back the deadline) at Starbucks right below my gym. Then I went and got a pedicure, a facial, got my arms waxed and my eyebrows and my hair trimmed, I even got my hair dyed!! To complement that soothing day, that evening I went out to dinner to an exquisite Indian restaurant with my best friend (my sister away from “home”) Mariana and her visiting co-worker from New York, we went to Nude this elegant bar but it was dead and before we knew it, we started dozing off. The crowd was a bit older than us, ha ha! As old as we may feel sometimes, we were definitely the young crowd there that night, everyone else seemed to be in their late 50’s, 60’s. After that we went to “el Callejon de los Rumberos,” this fun salsa place and just when we arrived there was a salsa performance, we got a full scope of those Goddess looking dancers, male and female. Ball room dancers always have amazing bodies which I have a lot of respect for and I feel a little jealous of (in a good way) because I want to look like that!
So no complaints about my weekends because this time “I” was not put in a dusty and hidden vault, I got the whole nine yards! The whole enchilada!
All this special pampering was such a good feeling and I kept thinking about how for the first time I’m REALLY looking forward to the holidays because I will take time off and I have so much to do (for me), I’ll have more time to work out, I’ll be gone for about ten days with part of my family, blah, blah, blah.
I was on cloud number nine, feeling all infatuated until I got connected to the internet and read the news about all the crime and violence going on in Mexico and I was in SHOCK after coming across “El Ponchis” a twelve year old boy in Morelos that is now the highest sought bloodthirsty hitman in Mexico! It was horrifying, it was too much to take; it was extremely sad and empty. Needless to say that brought me back to this crude reality.
Here I was thinking about me and feeling all guilty about not dedicating more time to myself and thinking about all the things I need when in reality I don’t need anything. I am healthy, I have work with its ups and downs but it is still work, I’m not lonely, I have a family, I have a few true friends which is more than enough, my heart is finally at ease, there are so many amazing things in life. It is revolting of how much we think about ourselves; how many times we let our feelings lead us and how many times we think about “I, I, I? For example, how many times have I used “I” in this article? What subject is the protagonist of most if not all of my blogs?
What about El Ponchis (the article didn’t reveal his real name) though? What are the reasons behind him doing this? Where are his parents? What drove him to do this? How did he get influenced into this rubbish? Is he completely conscious of the impact of all the crimes he’s committed? (They show pictures of him slashing a man’s throat, torturing others, pictures of him flashing his weapons, his drugs and his cars) Does he feel remorse? Why is there so much anger in him? Does he enjoy doing this? Is he aware that he’s only twelve and waht he will become as an adult? What was he missing? Was he missing love, affection, money, and understanding? What does he want from life? Who and what deprived him from his childhood and his innocence? Where will he end up? What is destiny holding for him? Does he have other goals and dreams? What demon is he fighting within?
My heart goes out to him and to all the people he’s deprived from life and all the ones he’s hurt.
There are so many mixed emotions inside me right now that I can’t stop writing, I don’t recall how long it’s been since I last wrote so much. Most Sundays I sit in front of my computer staring at it because even though I do come up with tons of ideas I don’t feel inspired to write because I can’t put my ideas together.
Many times I don’t get humanity, we are alive, we love each other, yet we hurt one another, we are able but unwilling to forgive, we hold a grudge forever and many times we are vindictive that we destroy ourselves by destroying others. We are unhappy with all the blessings life has given us. We complain, we feel anxiety, anger, lack of peace, envy, depression, emptiness, bitterness, despair, grief, fear, guilt
The human heart is the most deceitful of all things and it is desperately wicked, we are always guided by our feelings. The word “I” is the most frequently used word all over the world if I’m not mistaken. How many times do we begin a sentence with “I, I feel, I need, I want, I don’t feel, what does life have lined up for me, if only I, I lost all hope in life, I will, I’m afraid?” How many times do people tell you to follow your heart? Our heart is the most deceitful organ in our body because it will focus our mind on what “I want” and it will miss important and obvious aspects of what is better for our loved ones not just “I.”
That is the danger of living being guided by our hearts. But I do believe that we are completely capable of leading our heart by deciding to think about others.
I’ve always been an idealist that’s why Howard Roarke, the main character in Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead” is one of my favorite people even though he doesn’t exist. I believe in this perfect world where somewhere, someday “otro mundo si es possible,” another world is possible! a world in which everyone will be treated equally and looked as a human being and not treated better because of the worth of their house, their car or their business. A world in which nobody would be taken advantage of, somewhere where children like El Ponchis wouldn’t be hurt, abused or corrupted.
The world would change if all of us would stop thinking about “I, I, I, me, me, it is about me and what I want/need desire. Perhaps that will happen in another life cycle and my existence will have ceased before I am able to witness it.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Have more goals in life
November 7, 2010
A few years back my life sketch was somewhat bleak since I hadn’t yet figured out what my purpose in this existence was, except for one thing that has always been present, so transparent and direct; writing, as long as I can recall, I’d always keep a daily journal of everything that happened in my life; growing up looking like a little chubby boy because my mom used to cut my hair extremely short, meeting boys and liking them but they wouldn’t even come close to me because I wasn’t cute, the time I actually started dating my first boyfriend, all the moments I used to rebel against my parents and run away from home only to prove them that I could do whatever I wanted even though I was a minor and still living in their household, the times that I travelled with high school friends and all the memories I have from my sisters when we were growing up.
When I was very young I was a very curious lettile person, there were always questions about everything! But I never pondered on the fact of “THE” purpose in life. Now I know that every single soul in this planet has a purpose but things won’t happen if we don’t act. We must step up and untangle all the codes. Action NOT inaction is what makes us get closer to accomplishing ourselves.
What helps me get closer to realizing the woman I was meant to become is setting weekly goals and actually accomplish them because that is what will get us closer to our aim.
For example I am definitely a morning person, the early hours of the day are when I am at my highest level of energy and as soon as I get up I run to the gym like an unleashed beast to release that fast flow of adrenaline running through me.
Until two weeks ago when I made it a goal to squeeze in “more” time to relax even though it may seem impossible to do that sometimes. Thanks to that goal I’ve been able to sleep in (to me it is to be awake at 7am on a Sunday) more often. So now instead of storming out to get my work out, I linger around in bed for a little longer doing nothing just lying there and then I start reading for about 30 minutes.
Another one of my goals was to update my blog once a week and even though my profile may be plain looking, no color or images in it (at this time), it will change because I’ll add more life to my writing, I’ll add faces, actions, feelings when I get my 5th camera (I always end up dropping them or losing them).
I have this very close friend who had asked me to spend the night a few times in the past but I always beat around the bush so last night I finally did it!
It was unusual to sleep in a new place, although this shouldn’t come as a surprise because the last few weeks I’ve been crashing at my mom’s place whenever it gets too late to get home, I’ve been out for work purposes or I’ve spent the night at another friend’s house, last night was different though, we talked for a rather long time, we brought up many things that we had never discussed in the four or five years we’ve known each other but that didn’t stop the fact of missing my bed, not my house – only my bed. I’ll have to admit that it was nice to have someone to talk to right before going to sleep instead of silently putting my ideas on paper.
There are other goals to be accomplished but it is best to take each day at once and let God work his amazing power and put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Tomorrow is a whole new week and there are many things to be accomplished. Many times the simple fact of getting out of bed and brush our teeth is very hard,we may not always feel energized but why not do your best to start each day with energy and a purpose? Why not start the day by being grateful for all the blessings we have?
A few years back my life sketch was somewhat bleak since I hadn’t yet figured out what my purpose in this existence was, except for one thing that has always been present, so transparent and direct; writing, as long as I can recall, I’d always keep a daily journal of everything that happened in my life; growing up looking like a little chubby boy because my mom used to cut my hair extremely short, meeting boys and liking them but they wouldn’t even come close to me because I wasn’t cute, the time I actually started dating my first boyfriend, all the moments I used to rebel against my parents and run away from home only to prove them that I could do whatever I wanted even though I was a minor and still living in their household, the times that I travelled with high school friends and all the memories I have from my sisters when we were growing up.
When I was very young I was a very curious lettile person, there were always questions about everything! But I never pondered on the fact of “THE” purpose in life. Now I know that every single soul in this planet has a purpose but things won’t happen if we don’t act. We must step up and untangle all the codes. Action NOT inaction is what makes us get closer to accomplishing ourselves.
What helps me get closer to realizing the woman I was meant to become is setting weekly goals and actually accomplish them because that is what will get us closer to our aim.
For example I am definitely a morning person, the early hours of the day are when I am at my highest level of energy and as soon as I get up I run to the gym like an unleashed beast to release that fast flow of adrenaline running through me.
Until two weeks ago when I made it a goal to squeeze in “more” time to relax even though it may seem impossible to do that sometimes. Thanks to that goal I’ve been able to sleep in (to me it is to be awake at 7am on a Sunday) more often. So now instead of storming out to get my work out, I linger around in bed for a little longer doing nothing just lying there and then I start reading for about 30 minutes.
Another one of my goals was to update my blog once a week and even though my profile may be plain looking, no color or images in it (at this time), it will change because I’ll add more life to my writing, I’ll add faces, actions, feelings when I get my 5th camera (I always end up dropping them or losing them).
I have this very close friend who had asked me to spend the night a few times in the past but I always beat around the bush so last night I finally did it!
It was unusual to sleep in a new place, although this shouldn’t come as a surprise because the last few weeks I’ve been crashing at my mom’s place whenever it gets too late to get home, I’ve been out for work purposes or I’ve spent the night at another friend’s house, last night was different though, we talked for a rather long time, we brought up many things that we had never discussed in the four or five years we’ve known each other but that didn’t stop the fact of missing my bed, not my house – only my bed. I’ll have to admit that it was nice to have someone to talk to right before going to sleep instead of silently putting my ideas on paper.
There are other goals to be accomplished but it is best to take each day at once and let God work his amazing power and put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Tomorrow is a whole new week and there are many things to be accomplished. Many times the simple fact of getting out of bed and brush our teeth is very hard,we may not always feel energized but why not do your best to start each day with energy and a purpose? Why not start the day by being grateful for all the blessings we have?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Stop Rushing through life
Stop Rushing through life
Monday was a very calm and quiet day without mentioning all the running around between here and there throughout the day. What I mean when I say calm is that there weren’t any major stress causing factors. I was at ease, I felt so much harmony in my heart and soul unlike other days when I watch the news, all the turmoil going on in the entire world, deaths, crime, drug war, abuse, you name it. Those news are really energy draining and they leave me with a bad feeling in my stomach, feeling distress and despair towards humanity so Monday I decided to start out my week differently and not watch the news first thing in the morning.
I did the usual routine and everything went pretty smooth a, I got home safe and sound, started getting ready for the following day, I was stress free until 9pm when I stormed out to move my car closer to the house because I leave at the crack of dawn most mornings and it is a bit creepy when I come out so the closer my car is to the house the better.
I grabbed my car keys and being in such a rush I didn’t pay attention that I had forgotten to grab the house keys. Needless to say, it dawned on me until I tried to go back into the house. Nothing can ever go perfect! The problem is that I am a very distracted person, I always have so much going on and I always have so many things in my hands that I end up losing or breaking and dropping absolutely everything!
The problem is that there are always too many things going on and knowing me, I always want to do more work than what I can handle and the time to dedicate to myself never comes. I just realized that I’ve forgotten how to have fun and I don’t like that.
The last couple of months work has managed to wrap me around in a very tight and suffocating embrace that it is almost impossible to let go and I always leave “me” on the back burner. “I will get a facial this weekend and get my nails done, visit a new place or go out for a drink,” I say to myself. “Oh! Never mind I won’t have time, I have a dead line to meet, lesson plans to do, etc,” Now it even feels a bit ackward to go out, LOL! I’ve forgotten how to stop and smell the coffee, enjoy life and have fun. There is always so much to do and such little time that I’d love it if the days were longer to get everything done.
Many times it is difficult to get focused in one thing when we are being pulled towards another twenty directions. “Rest!” I tell myself but then I say, “naaaah! I will rest when I die.” So don’t get distracted like me. Notice where your mind is every single moment and also chose to be fully engaged in this activity – whatever you are doing at that precise moment and do everything with love, learn to take love in all the things you do.
Monday was a very calm and quiet day without mentioning all the running around between here and there throughout the day. What I mean when I say calm is that there weren’t any major stress causing factors. I was at ease, I felt so much harmony in my heart and soul unlike other days when I watch the news, all the turmoil going on in the entire world, deaths, crime, drug war, abuse, you name it. Those news are really energy draining and they leave me with a bad feeling in my stomach, feeling distress and despair towards humanity so Monday I decided to start out my week differently and not watch the news first thing in the morning.
I did the usual routine and everything went pretty smooth a, I got home safe and sound, started getting ready for the following day, I was stress free until 9pm when I stormed out to move my car closer to the house because I leave at the crack of dawn most mornings and it is a bit creepy when I come out so the closer my car is to the house the better.
I grabbed my car keys and being in such a rush I didn’t pay attention that I had forgotten to grab the house keys. Needless to say, it dawned on me until I tried to go back into the house. Nothing can ever go perfect! The problem is that I am a very distracted person, I always have so much going on and I always have so many things in my hands that I end up losing or breaking and dropping absolutely everything!
The problem is that there are always too many things going on and knowing me, I always want to do more work than what I can handle and the time to dedicate to myself never comes. I just realized that I’ve forgotten how to have fun and I don’t like that.
The last couple of months work has managed to wrap me around in a very tight and suffocating embrace that it is almost impossible to let go and I always leave “me” on the back burner. “I will get a facial this weekend and get my nails done, visit a new place or go out for a drink,” I say to myself. “Oh! Never mind I won’t have time, I have a dead line to meet, lesson plans to do, etc,” Now it even feels a bit ackward to go out, LOL! I’ve forgotten how to stop and smell the coffee, enjoy life and have fun. There is always so much to do and such little time that I’d love it if the days were longer to get everything done.
Many times it is difficult to get focused in one thing when we are being pulled towards another twenty directions. “Rest!” I tell myself but then I say, “naaaah! I will rest when I die.” So don’t get distracted like me. Notice where your mind is every single moment and also chose to be fully engaged in this activity – whatever you are doing at that precise moment and do everything with love, learn to take love in all the things you do.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Happiness lies within
Happiness lies within
Sunday October 24, 2010
By: Gina Roman
The phone just rang and as soon as I picked up this woman went off blabbering away at a million words per minute that I was unable to catch a single word until I said ok, “stop! Who are you and how can I help you!?” Annoyed as one can get when trying to concentrate to get something done I came close to snapping at this woman and hang up on her immediately after that because I am trying to write and have dinner at the same time. I was barely getting really into my word game here but baahm! The phone rings and I lost my train of thought! It took me a few seconds to gain my coolness and be grateful that I am home on Sunday evening doing something I like and enjoy doing unlike this poor woman on the other line so I decided to be polite and take the time to listen to her for a few minutes.
She was calling from a financial services company trying to sell life insurance and then transferred me to take a survey to rate her services. She asked me something that caught my attention which was, “are you single or married?” I said, “Single.” So she inquired “felizmente soltera?” happily single? I thought about it for a moment until I replied “pues, a veces.” Well, sometimes. Honestly speaking I can say exactly that, “sometimes.” There are moments where I think that it’d be nice to come home to someone but then I snap out of it and I panic and my heart starts beating out of control. If I were married and had children then I’d have to give up my workouts, my writing, perhaps my job, and my moments alone to reflect. Perhaps not completely but I’d definitely not have as much time for "ME" anymore. I don‘t know what would happen, maybe I’d become extremely depressed and die in agony. LOL!
When I was a little girl I used to love writing and as far back as my memory can take me, I’d always keep a diary of everything I went through, like when I rebelled against my father’s overly strict character, I felt like a bird when someone cut its wings he lost his freedom, got depressed and died. So writing has always been my sanctuary, my get away from reality for a short while so I when I get interrupted I can get very irritated and turn into a monster just like when I’m working out and someone approaches me, I know they’re just trying to be friendly or sometimes some random dude may want to hook up or see what he can get; I like to think of my time at the gym as my pedestal where no one can reach me, my place and time where I can get away from everyone and release all my bad vibes without having to hurt anyone.Ha, ha! Or when I don’t eat at my right times I want to put a huge sign saying "don't mess with a hungry girl!" When it comes to my meals of the day I really go by the clock and I get anxious when I don't eat because I don’t function well without food. I get angry, annoyed to the point where I can’t even stand myself. Yuck!
Writing is one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given and even though I don’t even come close to being a professional writer, I still love it because it helps me dig into the most profound space in my heart and get to know myself more. It helps me reflect on what I learn every day and understand many things for instance accepting the fact that sometimes we cannot have everything we want in life, perhaps because God has traced better plans for us way before we were born.
Going back to that comment “happily single,” it made me think of how easy life can be and how complicated humans make our existence miserable for no reason at all. When we want something we do whatever it takes to get it, once we are there we don’t want it anymore, we want something else, it is the same thing with relationships. We want to be with someone, we start a relationship, some of us make it to marriage, commit to this person for life and a few years down the line, “ooops, this person wasn’t the one.” The same way a child is thrilled when he discovers a new toy or another way to get entertained, he gets excited for a while but as soon as he becomes weary of it, he drops it and goes on to discover something else. At least children are the most innocent and transparent human beings in this existence and it is in their nature to behave like that. What about adults though? What excuse do we have?
Nowadays there are very few marriages that make it till the end and I wonder, what did they have to go through to survive the turmoil, the black and white, the good and bad moments together? To this day it is a mystery but I will ask a very happy and solid couple I know. I’ll call her Virginia; a few weeks ago she was diagnosed with leukemia which can turn into cancer. I don’t understand completely what is going on there and I don’t want to ask because everyone is very sensitive at this time. Virginia is one of the most positive women I’ve ever known and despite the fact she’s going through one of the worst moments she still wants to live. She’s being really strong and she is standing up to this battle against death, she’s fighting with every single particle of strength within. Her husband has been there for her every single step of the way. They love life and they are holding on to it because they are so full of peace and love each other on top of everything. That is my example of a beautiful and perfect marriage, they have overcome many obstacles together, they accept one another as they are, and they don’t care about outer beauty because as Virginia once told me, all of that comes second. The beginning stages of a relationship are all physical but that wears out eventually and it becomes second. There are a million more important things ike the moments you go through together, that's when real love is proved.
Thinking about them made me ponder about life, it is a long and intense process which brings us precise moments that touch us very deep inside and give us strength to either stop our existence or keep going with those who truly love us, accept us the way we are and are able to forgive and let go of the bad and painful moments. It is moments like these when we really get to know ourselves and allow us to find the purpose that life has for us. God manifests himself to every single one of us in different ways and I personally hadn’t felt him so close, so strong and so direct to me until last year when I had an awful wreck and I thought I wasn’t going to pull through. At that moment I neglected to see it but now that I look back, I know he was there to give me another opportunity, another chance because he has a plan for me, this plan that I haven’t been able to decipher quite yet but I keep getting closer to it day by day. I was too occupied trying to “recover” other people and things that were not part of God’s plans for me. Life has given me many opportunities and has taught me many lessons for which I am very fortunate because not everyone has chances in this long journey.
Virginia and her husband have also taught me a very important lesson; we may spend many years in life looking for happiness, we may run away from ourselves searching in a million places yet we ignore the fact that it’s been there and it’ll always lie within us.
Moments like these are priceless so let's make peace not war.
Sunday October 24, 2010
By: Gina Roman
The phone just rang and as soon as I picked up this woman went off blabbering away at a million words per minute that I was unable to catch a single word until I said ok, “stop! Who are you and how can I help you!?” Annoyed as one can get when trying to concentrate to get something done I came close to snapping at this woman and hang up on her immediately after that because I am trying to write and have dinner at the same time. I was barely getting really into my word game here but baahm! The phone rings and I lost my train of thought! It took me a few seconds to gain my coolness and be grateful that I am home on Sunday evening doing something I like and enjoy doing unlike this poor woman on the other line so I decided to be polite and take the time to listen to her for a few minutes.
She was calling from a financial services company trying to sell life insurance and then transferred me to take a survey to rate her services. She asked me something that caught my attention which was, “are you single or married?” I said, “Single.” So she inquired “felizmente soltera?” happily single? I thought about it for a moment until I replied “pues, a veces.” Well, sometimes. Honestly speaking I can say exactly that, “sometimes.” There are moments where I think that it’d be nice to come home to someone but then I snap out of it and I panic and my heart starts beating out of control. If I were married and had children then I’d have to give up my workouts, my writing, perhaps my job, and my moments alone to reflect. Perhaps not completely but I’d definitely not have as much time for "ME" anymore. I don‘t know what would happen, maybe I’d become extremely depressed and die in agony. LOL!
When I was a little girl I used to love writing and as far back as my memory can take me, I’d always keep a diary of everything I went through, like when I rebelled against my father’s overly strict character, I felt like a bird when someone cut its wings he lost his freedom, got depressed and died. So writing has always been my sanctuary, my get away from reality for a short while so I when I get interrupted I can get very irritated and turn into a monster just like when I’m working out and someone approaches me, I know they’re just trying to be friendly or sometimes some random dude may want to hook up or see what he can get; I like to think of my time at the gym as my pedestal where no one can reach me, my place and time where I can get away from everyone and release all my bad vibes without having to hurt anyone.Ha, ha! Or when I don’t eat at my right times I want to put a huge sign saying "don't mess with a hungry girl!" When it comes to my meals of the day I really go by the clock and I get anxious when I don't eat because I don’t function well without food. I get angry, annoyed to the point where I can’t even stand myself. Yuck!
Writing is one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given and even though I don’t even come close to being a professional writer, I still love it because it helps me dig into the most profound space in my heart and get to know myself more. It helps me reflect on what I learn every day and understand many things for instance accepting the fact that sometimes we cannot have everything we want in life, perhaps because God has traced better plans for us way before we were born.
Going back to that comment “happily single,” it made me think of how easy life can be and how complicated humans make our existence miserable for no reason at all. When we want something we do whatever it takes to get it, once we are there we don’t want it anymore, we want something else, it is the same thing with relationships. We want to be with someone, we start a relationship, some of us make it to marriage, commit to this person for life and a few years down the line, “ooops, this person wasn’t the one.” The same way a child is thrilled when he discovers a new toy or another way to get entertained, he gets excited for a while but as soon as he becomes weary of it, he drops it and goes on to discover something else. At least children are the most innocent and transparent human beings in this existence and it is in their nature to behave like that. What about adults though? What excuse do we have?
Nowadays there are very few marriages that make it till the end and I wonder, what did they have to go through to survive the turmoil, the black and white, the good and bad moments together? To this day it is a mystery but I will ask a very happy and solid couple I know. I’ll call her Virginia; a few weeks ago she was diagnosed with leukemia which can turn into cancer. I don’t understand completely what is going on there and I don’t want to ask because everyone is very sensitive at this time. Virginia is one of the most positive women I’ve ever known and despite the fact she’s going through one of the worst moments she still wants to live. She’s being really strong and she is standing up to this battle against death, she’s fighting with every single particle of strength within. Her husband has been there for her every single step of the way. They love life and they are holding on to it because they are so full of peace and love each other on top of everything. That is my example of a beautiful and perfect marriage, they have overcome many obstacles together, they accept one another as they are, and they don’t care about outer beauty because as Virginia once told me, all of that comes second. The beginning stages of a relationship are all physical but that wears out eventually and it becomes second. There are a million more important things ike the moments you go through together, that's when real love is proved.
Thinking about them made me ponder about life, it is a long and intense process which brings us precise moments that touch us very deep inside and give us strength to either stop our existence or keep going with those who truly love us, accept us the way we are and are able to forgive and let go of the bad and painful moments. It is moments like these when we really get to know ourselves and allow us to find the purpose that life has for us. God manifests himself to every single one of us in different ways and I personally hadn’t felt him so close, so strong and so direct to me until last year when I had an awful wreck and I thought I wasn’t going to pull through. At that moment I neglected to see it but now that I look back, I know he was there to give me another opportunity, another chance because he has a plan for me, this plan that I haven’t been able to decipher quite yet but I keep getting closer to it day by day. I was too occupied trying to “recover” other people and things that were not part of God’s plans for me. Life has given me many opportunities and has taught me many lessons for which I am very fortunate because not everyone has chances in this long journey.
Virginia and her husband have also taught me a very important lesson; we may spend many years in life looking for happiness, we may run away from ourselves searching in a million places yet we ignore the fact that it’s been there and it’ll always lie within us.
Moments like these are priceless so let's make peace not war.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Habits to avoid
Sunday October 17, 2010
It’s 10 what!? Oh my, it’s 10:30pm and I am barely getting started on my writing. As much as I wanted to get on the ball and get to it earlier, I just couldn’t but at least I am right now as much as I’d like to hop into bed at this precise minute. This week I thought I’d have more free time on the weekend but of course I didn’t because I had progress reports due, the usual lesson plans and something always comes up at the last minute. This time the excuse is that a very dear friend of mine came over to chat with me for a “little while” but we ended up talking for about three hours!
One of the things we talked about was “bad influence” and how easily it is to get sidetracked and pulled into the wrong direction. This “bad influence” topic is something to really ponder because it always makes me wonder and ask myself whether or not it is just in our minds. Perhaps as a child, teenager or as a young adult it is easy for us to incline towards the “easiest” and “fastest” solutions, but not as an adult, not at this point in life because from the moment we decide to go with that so called “bad influence” we know what the consequences will be and we have to confront them as much as we want to avoid them. We are perfectly aware of what harms our body and mind, we know who to stay away from and who to stay close to. We are always full of excuses but why not incline towards good people, good habits and the good things in life?
Let’s stay for instance when someone starts drinking they may think that they went through the same when they were children but why not do good things for others? Plain and simple, because we are very sleazy.
But as adults we are entitled to select good and bad we are capable of deciding who and what we allow in our life. Ending 2008 and most of 2009 many unpleasant things happened in my life and I was so bitter and angry that long after I realized that it happens to every single human being. My biggest problem was that I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and needless to say that affected a few relationships and I lost some of them because I was a very negative and unhappy human being so now that I’m in control of me again I´d like to help others reach peace within.
Ten things to say no to:
1. Rushing.
2. Energy draining people
3. Negative thoughts.
4. The inner critic who tells you to play it safe.
5. Pushing yourself to do more when you feel tired.
6. Unhealthy guilt or shame.
7. A request that immediately causes you stress.
8. Second helpings when you feel full.
9. More work when you already have a full plate.
10. Living life from the neck up.
11. Not forgiving
It’s 10 what!? Oh my, it’s 10:30pm and I am barely getting started on my writing. As much as I wanted to get on the ball and get to it earlier, I just couldn’t but at least I am right now as much as I’d like to hop into bed at this precise minute. This week I thought I’d have more free time on the weekend but of course I didn’t because I had progress reports due, the usual lesson plans and something always comes up at the last minute. This time the excuse is that a very dear friend of mine came over to chat with me for a “little while” but we ended up talking for about three hours!
One of the things we talked about was “bad influence” and how easily it is to get sidetracked and pulled into the wrong direction. This “bad influence” topic is something to really ponder because it always makes me wonder and ask myself whether or not it is just in our minds. Perhaps as a child, teenager or as a young adult it is easy for us to incline towards the “easiest” and “fastest” solutions, but not as an adult, not at this point in life because from the moment we decide to go with that so called “bad influence” we know what the consequences will be and we have to confront them as much as we want to avoid them. We are perfectly aware of what harms our body and mind, we know who to stay away from and who to stay close to. We are always full of excuses but why not incline towards good people, good habits and the good things in life?
Let’s stay for instance when someone starts drinking they may think that they went through the same when they were children but why not do good things for others? Plain and simple, because we are very sleazy.
But as adults we are entitled to select good and bad we are capable of deciding who and what we allow in our life. Ending 2008 and most of 2009 many unpleasant things happened in my life and I was so bitter and angry that long after I realized that it happens to every single human being. My biggest problem was that I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and needless to say that affected a few relationships and I lost some of them because I was a very negative and unhappy human being so now that I’m in control of me again I´d like to help others reach peace within.
Ten things to say no to:
1. Rushing.
2. Energy draining people
3. Negative thoughts.
4. The inner critic who tells you to play it safe.
5. Pushing yourself to do more when you feel tired.
6. Unhealthy guilt or shame.
7. A request that immediately causes you stress.
8. Second helpings when you feel full.
9. More work when you already have a full plate.
10. Living life from the neck up.
11. Not forgiving
Sunday, October 10, 2010
What Makes life better?
Sunday October 10, 2010
It's Sunday again! I can’t believe another week has gone by and once again here I am, worn out staring at my computer with all my brain cells fried after having worked the entire weekend. I’m thinking, “I’m too exhausted to do anything, I don’t feel like writing or doing absolutely anything anymore but I still have another hour or two before I drop dead. I want to stop at this precise moment and head to bed to get my beauty sleep but I still have to do my lesson plans but I needed to do something before getting started so why not write!? Plus I have made writing and working out my rituals, my sanctuary, my haven a complement, a part of me.
I’m transcribing some audio interviews for a documentary about tequila that I’m working on (which I’ll give you the full scope of later on). I’m the research assistant for this film and I am thrilled because never in my life did I have the slightest clue of me doing this!
Writing helps me relax and since I’ve had enough of tequila, I came up with this list to get inspired and get others inspire as Guadalajara rates number one in suicides. Something that I constantly ask myself is, does a single human being reach complete happiness at some point in his/her life?
What makes life better?
These Golden Rules
1. Eat healthy and exercise.
2. Be around people who make you laugh.
3. Set a goal or dream that won't go away and accomplish it.
4. Be in nature and getting fresh air.
5. Sit in sunlight and spend time in nature and meditate.
6. Hug someone spontaneously
7. Accept an invitation that feels exciting and scary at the same time.
8. Rest more than you think you need.
9. Moving your body as much as you can.
10. Have an open door for those who need companionship.
11: Do volunteer or charity work
12. Spending time with a baby or child.
13: Read every night.
14: Smile all the time even despite the fact that everything seems to go wrong.
15. Be grateful for all the good and bad times and taking them as a learning experience. Taking the good aspects of the bad times and learning something from them.
16. Start off your day by Thanking God for being alive.
17. Don’t complain; be happy with what you have and don’t compare what you have with what others have.
18: Don’t get caught up in the “Keeping up with the Johnese’s”
19. Spend more time with your family.
20. Have the maturity to accept your mistakes; listen to someone else when he/she has made a mistake and give him/her another chance.
21. Learn something new every day; you can lose a loved one, something material, yet your knowledge is one of the few things you will have until you cease to exist.
22. Don’t gossip and don’t be jealous of others; start with your own expectations.
23. Be yourself. Let it rain, let it pour, let it sunshine, as long as you are yourself, you will remain intact.
24. Do a daily ritual of gratitude.
25. If you do someone a favor, don’t expect anything in return.
26. Don’t work too much.
27. If you borrow it, return it.
Life can be one of the most beautiful gifts you’ve ever been given if you follow these golden rules.
It's Sunday again! I can’t believe another week has gone by and once again here I am, worn out staring at my computer with all my brain cells fried after having worked the entire weekend. I’m thinking, “I’m too exhausted to do anything, I don’t feel like writing or doing absolutely anything anymore but I still have another hour or two before I drop dead. I want to stop at this precise moment and head to bed to get my beauty sleep but I still have to do my lesson plans but I needed to do something before getting started so why not write!? Plus I have made writing and working out my rituals, my sanctuary, my haven a complement, a part of me.
I’m transcribing some audio interviews for a documentary about tequila that I’m working on (which I’ll give you the full scope of later on). I’m the research assistant for this film and I am thrilled because never in my life did I have the slightest clue of me doing this!
Writing helps me relax and since I’ve had enough of tequila, I came up with this list to get inspired and get others inspire as Guadalajara rates number one in suicides. Something that I constantly ask myself is, does a single human being reach complete happiness at some point in his/her life?
What makes life better?
These Golden Rules
1. Eat healthy and exercise.
2. Be around people who make you laugh.
3. Set a goal or dream that won't go away and accomplish it.
4. Be in nature and getting fresh air.
5. Sit in sunlight and spend time in nature and meditate.
6. Hug someone spontaneously
7. Accept an invitation that feels exciting and scary at the same time.
8. Rest more than you think you need.
9. Moving your body as much as you can.
10. Have an open door for those who need companionship.
11: Do volunteer or charity work
12. Spending time with a baby or child.
13: Read every night.
14: Smile all the time even despite the fact that everything seems to go wrong.
15. Be grateful for all the good and bad times and taking them as a learning experience. Taking the good aspects of the bad times and learning something from them.
16. Start off your day by Thanking God for being alive.
17. Don’t complain; be happy with what you have and don’t compare what you have with what others have.
18: Don’t get caught up in the “Keeping up with the Johnese’s”
19. Spend more time with your family.
20. Have the maturity to accept your mistakes; listen to someone else when he/she has made a mistake and give him/her another chance.
21. Learn something new every day; you can lose a loved one, something material, yet your knowledge is one of the few things you will have until you cease to exist.
22. Don’t gossip and don’t be jealous of others; start with your own expectations.
23. Be yourself. Let it rain, let it pour, let it sunshine, as long as you are yourself, you will remain intact.
24. Do a daily ritual of gratitude.
25. If you do someone a favor, don’t expect anything in return.
26. Don’t work too much.
27. If you borrow it, return it.
Life can be one of the most beautiful gifts you’ve ever been given if you follow these golden rules.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
10 golden rules for every busy woman
10 golden rules for every busy woman
Life in Guadalajara seems to be happening so quickly and as much as I want to get out there and learn more about this amazing and beautiful city I don’t know where time goes. Lately it feels as if my days are not long enough and I wish there were more hours in the day so many more things could get done - or if I could only have one idle hour, I’d be able to relax and stop and smell the coffee or perhaps I’d come up with something else to do. As I get older my self-expectations get higher and it is a bit frustrating at times not being able to meet them. I must be going through the 30’s crisis because this question keeps popping on my head, “what are you going to do with your life?”
There are so many things to do, people to meet, places to go, goals and expectations to meet before I hit the big 35! Even though I am not married nor do I have a significant other sometimes I wonder if I’d be able to juggle my time between work, my workouts, my family and him.
I guess I’ll cross that line when I get to it. At this moment I have a full plate with all my goals. “and how many hours do you sleep every night? Two?” a good friend of mine asked me earlier in the week. She told me, “I have to confess something, I have always looked up to you when it comes to discipline you are my role model, I’d never said it but I really do admire you.” So this is what I said, “oh! Believe me, I have many flaws just like everyone else does, after all I’m a human being.”
The other person was one of my students, I had assigned some homework to him and to bring a handout to class but he didn’t do it. He said, “I’m sorry, I know you are very organized and you’re always on top of everything.” I said the exact same thing to him. I’m a human being and I have many imperfections.
One of the things that I don’t know how to handle is saying “no” to my mother sometimes when she wants to spend more time with me; even though I don’t have children sometimes it feels as if I did because she’s like a child, she can be very demanding. She is almost my partner in crime in this city because her and my adorable nephew are the ones I spent the most time with outside of work. Even then I may not spend as much time with them as I’d like to. I don’t even have time for myself. Here people have to work harder to make less money. Every week I want to call all my siblings and close friends more often, I want to spend more time at the gym and really focus on my Health and Fitness career, I want to be able to read more and write more articles like the magazine and the newspaper just like I did before and write more in order to accomplish one of my lifetime goals to write a book, and to have more time to better prepare for my classes (it is not like I don’t prepare but I always feel like I should do better – that’s just me with everything though), I want to take more translation courses to brush up on my skills and be a better translator, I want to have more time to study to become a sworn translator, I want to have more time to relax and do charity work, I want to spend more time with my loved ones but from the moment I get up (at 5am every day) it is nonstop until 8, 9 or 10 pm, sometimes even later, I never have one moment’s rest.
This may not be a good answer but I still manage to do a little bit of everything but this year I will decipher my plans for the future and decide what I’d like to do in a long term basis so I can stop doing many different things here and there and that will happen no later than December of this year. I already know what it is because I can feel it with my heart, something that I became very passionate about ever since I was 17, all I need to do is step up and do it and don’t look back.
This turmoil in my life inspired me to come up with this “Must” list for women.
10 golden rules for every busy woman
1) I am not on call to all of the people all of the time.
2) I have needs of my own and they may not be the same as my friends’, familys’ or colleagues’.
3) I don’t have to say yes to every request put to me.
4) I don’t have to carry on doing something just because I’ve always done it.
5) Time I spend relaxing, time well spent.
6) I know there is no such thing as the perfect girlfriend, wife, mother or child.
7) Time I spend feeling guilty could be spent doing more enjoyable things.
8) I won’t do it for others if they are capable of doing it themselves.
9) I owe myself the same care and consideration I give to others.
10) Remember at all times, especially in the face of criticism, when I’m up against difficulties and anxiety: I’m doing the best I can!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
This week was one of the best in so long
September 26, 2010
This week was one of the best in so long
By: Gina
I didn’t travel anywhere nor did I do a rundown of absolutely anywhere but as far as my workout routines, I did excellent so I‘m quite pleased since all of last week I was in an eating marathon and I only managed to squeeze in my early Sunday run. Friday and Saturday could’ve been a lot more productive but I was too lazy to get up and I was feeling like a whale because, I got on the “seafood diet,” ate everything I saw (see) for an entire week. I’m glad my photo session didn’t happen! I guess it’s good that my photographer stood me up because I was mortified about those 3 extra kilos lounging around on my waist line! So while I look for another photographer, I will have some time to shed off those stubborn 3 kilos.
e
It is really not an excuse but the reason why I didn’t work out was because I’ve been working on a documentary about Tequila with a Film Producer from Seattle and him and his camera man were here last week so we had to go to Tequila, Amatitán, etc, to do interviews, film and many things which makes me really happy career wise but fitness wise I am not giving my best so I need to manage my time better. I’ve always found that one of the biggest challenges because I don’t have any stability work wise so I can be working at 5, 6 am or sometimes at 9, 10 11 pm so I really need to do something about this issue.
Tomorrow I’m going with a friend to check out a 24 hour gym that is opening soon.
That is one of the things I miss the most about California, those 24 hour fitness, at times I feel somewhat limited in Guadalajara because I don’t feel safe to go on my super early morning runs like I used to when I was competing and 99% of the gyms here open at 6am so I’d have to rush to be teaching my first class at 8 o’clock so I don’t even enjoy my workouts because they’re too short and I am more focused on time than on my workouts.
So going back to this week, my workouts were a lot of fun because I broke out of the monotony and mixed them up just like I do with my clothes when I’m getting ready to go to work.
On Monday I did cross training, 20 minutes on the elliptical, 20 minutes on the Stairmaster and 20 minutes on the treadmill plus I worked out arms and abs. My target was to work out every other day this week but on Wednesday I had to take my mother to the airport and Tuesday and Thursday I had class at 7.
On Friday I was too lazy to make it to the gym at 6 so I went for a run at parque metropolitan, I jogged 5k and jogged and sprinted another. 5k. on Saturday I did an hour and 3 minutes of spinning plus arms and abs. Plus! Today I went hiking, total time: 1:40 minutes, 9.5k going down this really steep cliff and 9.5k coming back up.
I go there very seldom and it feels like every time it keeps getting harder and harder to make it back. I must be getting “OLD,” perhaps I’m falling out of shape, or both.
I thought my legs would be sore but they feel great! In 10 weeks I’ll be another year older and I will get on a military regimen so I can celebrate my birthday looking and feeling better.
I know I don’t have a set date to update my writing but I am trying, right!? At least I got it done, that’s what I always tell myself whenever I do something.
This week was one of the best in so long
By: Gina
I didn’t travel anywhere nor did I do a rundown of absolutely anywhere but as far as my workout routines, I did excellent so I‘m quite pleased since all of last week I was in an eating marathon and I only managed to squeeze in my early Sunday run. Friday and Saturday could’ve been a lot more productive but I was too lazy to get up and I was feeling like a whale because, I got on the “seafood diet,” ate everything I saw (see) for an entire week. I’m glad my photo session didn’t happen! I guess it’s good that my photographer stood me up because I was mortified about those 3 extra kilos lounging around on my waist line! So while I look for another photographer, I will have some time to shed off those stubborn 3 kilos.
e
It is really not an excuse but the reason why I didn’t work out was because I’ve been working on a documentary about Tequila with a Film Producer from Seattle and him and his camera man were here last week so we had to go to Tequila, Amatitán, etc, to do interviews, film and many things which makes me really happy career wise but fitness wise I am not giving my best so I need to manage my time better. I’ve always found that one of the biggest challenges because I don’t have any stability work wise so I can be working at 5, 6 am or sometimes at 9, 10 11 pm so I really need to do something about this issue.
Tomorrow I’m going with a friend to check out a 24 hour gym that is opening soon.
That is one of the things I miss the most about California, those 24 hour fitness, at times I feel somewhat limited in Guadalajara because I don’t feel safe to go on my super early morning runs like I used to when I was competing and 99% of the gyms here open at 6am so I’d have to rush to be teaching my first class at 8 o’clock so I don’t even enjoy my workouts because they’re too short and I am more focused on time than on my workouts.
So going back to this week, my workouts were a lot of fun because I broke out of the monotony and mixed them up just like I do with my clothes when I’m getting ready to go to work.
On Monday I did cross training, 20 minutes on the elliptical, 20 minutes on the Stairmaster and 20 minutes on the treadmill plus I worked out arms and abs. My target was to work out every other day this week but on Wednesday I had to take my mother to the airport and Tuesday and Thursday I had class at 7.
On Friday I was too lazy to make it to the gym at 6 so I went for a run at parque metropolitan, I jogged 5k and jogged and sprinted another. 5k. on Saturday I did an hour and 3 minutes of spinning plus arms and abs. Plus! Today I went hiking, total time: 1:40 minutes, 9.5k going down this really steep cliff and 9.5k coming back up.
I go there very seldom and it feels like every time it keeps getting harder and harder to make it back. I must be getting “OLD,” perhaps I’m falling out of shape, or both.
I thought my legs would be sore but they feel great! In 10 weeks I’ll be another year older and I will get on a military regimen so I can celebrate my birthday looking and feeling better.
I know I don’t have a set date to update my writing but I am trying, right!? At least I got it done, that’s what I always tell myself whenever I do something.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Have you stopped and asked yourself?
Have you stopped and asked yourself?
Am I enjoying life to its fullest? Am I missing out on something? How often do I overindulge in things like drinking caffeine, drinking alcohol, checking or sending emails, talking on the phone, texting, spending time with a loved one, engaging with others on social media sites, watching TV, chronically complaining about what isn’t working, fueling drama, rushing from one activity or task to another, getting caught up, taking care of the needs of others,
this week while at a business dinner I was listening to a very successful man talk about how he no longer distracts himself with substance or activities that prevent him from living in the present. I was reminded of how important it is to limit these seductive actions. When overdone, they make it easy to numb out, avoid making necessary changes, lose connections with loved ones, or tolerate the things that would be intolerable to someone with healthy high standards.
That made me ask myself, which ones am I ready to limit this week so I can feel and experience more of my precious life.
While pondering at life in Guadalajara it made me realize that I lack the knowledge of so much more. It seems as if the last two or three years I’ve revolved around the same things. Work, workout, and travel here and there that I never make time to enjoy life to its max anymore. As far as culture goes, when I thought I had it all narrowed down, it dawned on me that I am nowhere near a third of knowing all about the beauty of this place. “Slow down” or “are you ever going to rest?” people say. And I tell them, I will rest when I die. I just go, go go and some people can’t keep up.
There are only 24 hours in one day and we must make time to sit back and enjoy the beauty of life, although sometimes it is impossible because when I think of how much knowledge I lack in many areas of life, I feel very stupid and……………….
I lost my train of thought, I am not fully concentrated, I am not making enough time to write as much as I did before.
It is the end of another day and my mind keeps spinning, thinking about the tough week that lies ahead.
Am I enjoying life to its fullest? Am I missing out on something? How often do I overindulge in things like drinking caffeine, drinking alcohol, checking or sending emails, talking on the phone, texting, spending time with a loved one, engaging with others on social media sites, watching TV, chronically complaining about what isn’t working, fueling drama, rushing from one activity or task to another, getting caught up, taking care of the needs of others,
this week while at a business dinner I was listening to a very successful man talk about how he no longer distracts himself with substance or activities that prevent him from living in the present. I was reminded of how important it is to limit these seductive actions. When overdone, they make it easy to numb out, avoid making necessary changes, lose connections with loved ones, or tolerate the things that would be intolerable to someone with healthy high standards.
That made me ask myself, which ones am I ready to limit this week so I can feel and experience more of my precious life.
While pondering at life in Guadalajara it made me realize that I lack the knowledge of so much more. It seems as if the last two or three years I’ve revolved around the same things. Work, workout, and travel here and there that I never make time to enjoy life to its max anymore. As far as culture goes, when I thought I had it all narrowed down, it dawned on me that I am nowhere near a third of knowing all about the beauty of this place. “Slow down” or “are you ever going to rest?” people say. And I tell them, I will rest when I die. I just go, go go and some people can’t keep up.
There are only 24 hours in one day and we must make time to sit back and enjoy the beauty of life, although sometimes it is impossible because when I think of how much knowledge I lack in many areas of life, I feel very stupid and……………….
I lost my train of thought, I am not fully concentrated, I am not making enough time to write as much as I did before.
It is the end of another day and my mind keeps spinning, thinking about the tough week that lies ahead.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Road trip
On my way to a road trip of a few beaches in Jalisco earlier this month, I realized that I hadn’t felt so much peace in my mind heart and soul in such a long time. Planning to get away for a few days can be postponed many times because work, family, time, or many other excuses so this time I said, “ok, I’m going!” Isabel one of my students was headed that direction on the same day so she offered to pick me up.
On our way there, Isabel, her parents and I were talking about so many things that the 3 and a half hours to Compostela went by in a flash. I watched them closely and noticed how well they get along, they didn’t scream at each other, they didn’t make drama about anything, they were very loving, all they inspired was peace and happiness.
In the midst of all this turmoil in Mexico and everywhere in the world, when you turn on the t. v., when you read the news in the internet all you see is crime, violence, drugs, deaths, rage, revenge, perversion, it is easy for us to lose sleep and get depressed.
Being around that loving family made me realize that even though every single human being is born with a good side and an evil side and we develop our evil side a lot more, it doesn’t mean that we are all bad and that all we do is bad and harm one another. Throughout my journey in life I’ve come across many bad intentioned people but I’ve also been fortunate to meet a few good people and those are the ones who stay in my life forever. I like surrounding myself with good and energized people, those who generate good vibes. Being around with people who only project bad vibes can poison our souls. We already have enough with our own conflicts and we don’t want to take on someone else’s.
During the entire trip while talking to them, I also thought about many things like life’s challenges.
There have been very tough times in my life and I’ve kicked and cried and thrown fits, asked why many times, and I had a lot of anger, frustration, resentment and rage but timing is everything.
The end of 2008, all of 2009 and half of 2010 were really challenging for me because everything went downhill. Sometimes we make the wrong decisions because we are not patient.
the economy went out the roof and I lost a lot of money like millions of people did, I lost someone extremely close to me, I had an accident in December of 2008, the holidays came and I always feel melancholic, my relationship ended and as much as I tried to save it, it was too late, the beginning of 2009 seemed very depressing and tense because many companies were downsizing, then Easter break came and with that the influenza where I don’t make money in any holiday as I work as an independent contractor, Mexico was put on red alert because of the spread of the disease, then in June to top it off I had an accident in which I almost died. It wasn’t my fault, things in my family were not going well, it is normal for every family to have conflicts at times, other small incidents that I let get to me happened. I ended up getting very anxious and depressed. It’s like they say, “when it rains, it pours.”
The world was in crisis and I was in a much deeper crisis but I won’t go into details because it still hurts to dig down that path. I stopped enjoying all the things that I am passionate about like working out, going on my early morning run on Sundays, reading.
There have been very few moments like that in my life and I really dread them because I can’t control them.
Many things have happened while being in Guadalajara but I won’t act like a coward and take off because I am here for a reason. I know I have a mission here and I will accomplish it.
Throughout my crisis I made many mistakes and hurt a few loved ones, I held on to people who didn’t want me in their life anymore and it took me a long time to understand and accept it. One of the reasons I never understood why I was never given another chance was because I have always believed in second chances but not everyone is like me so I accept it.
One thing I’ve learned from that crisis though is never to wear my feelings on my shoulders and that it is through turmoil when you find out who really cares about you and who will be there in ups and downs, through black and white, through good and bad. It doesn’t mean that we can hurt and lie to our loved ones and that we can treat them as we please. Time fate have proven that things happen for a reason and that everything that was not meant to be, it will not happen as much as we fight for it.
I was afraid to look back and remember all those things but I’ve finally let them go. Live, learn, let go and continue. That road trip was the beginning of a new me, a peaceful me. The “me” that can once again enjoy my early morning runs and all the simple things in life.
On our way there, Isabel, her parents and I were talking about so many things that the 3 and a half hours to Compostela went by in a flash. I watched them closely and noticed how well they get along, they didn’t scream at each other, they didn’t make drama about anything, they were very loving, all they inspired was peace and happiness.
In the midst of all this turmoil in Mexico and everywhere in the world, when you turn on the t. v., when you read the news in the internet all you see is crime, violence, drugs, deaths, rage, revenge, perversion, it is easy for us to lose sleep and get depressed.
Being around that loving family made me realize that even though every single human being is born with a good side and an evil side and we develop our evil side a lot more, it doesn’t mean that we are all bad and that all we do is bad and harm one another. Throughout my journey in life I’ve come across many bad intentioned people but I’ve also been fortunate to meet a few good people and those are the ones who stay in my life forever. I like surrounding myself with good and energized people, those who generate good vibes. Being around with people who only project bad vibes can poison our souls. We already have enough with our own conflicts and we don’t want to take on someone else’s.
During the entire trip while talking to them, I also thought about many things like life’s challenges.
There have been very tough times in my life and I’ve kicked and cried and thrown fits, asked why many times, and I had a lot of anger, frustration, resentment and rage but timing is everything.
The end of 2008, all of 2009 and half of 2010 were really challenging for me because everything went downhill. Sometimes we make the wrong decisions because we are not patient.
the economy went out the roof and I lost a lot of money like millions of people did, I lost someone extremely close to me, I had an accident in December of 2008, the holidays came and I always feel melancholic, my relationship ended and as much as I tried to save it, it was too late, the beginning of 2009 seemed very depressing and tense because many companies were downsizing, then Easter break came and with that the influenza where I don’t make money in any holiday as I work as an independent contractor, Mexico was put on red alert because of the spread of the disease, then in June to top it off I had an accident in which I almost died. It wasn’t my fault, things in my family were not going well, it is normal for every family to have conflicts at times, other small incidents that I let get to me happened. I ended up getting very anxious and depressed. It’s like they say, “when it rains, it pours.”
The world was in crisis and I was in a much deeper crisis but I won’t go into details because it still hurts to dig down that path. I stopped enjoying all the things that I am passionate about like working out, going on my early morning run on Sundays, reading.
There have been very few moments like that in my life and I really dread them because I can’t control them.
Many things have happened while being in Guadalajara but I won’t act like a coward and take off because I am here for a reason. I know I have a mission here and I will accomplish it.
Throughout my crisis I made many mistakes and hurt a few loved ones, I held on to people who didn’t want me in their life anymore and it took me a long time to understand and accept it. One of the reasons I never understood why I was never given another chance was because I have always believed in second chances but not everyone is like me so I accept it.
One thing I’ve learned from that crisis though is never to wear my feelings on my shoulders and that it is through turmoil when you find out who really cares about you and who will be there in ups and downs, through black and white, through good and bad. It doesn’t mean that we can hurt and lie to our loved ones and that we can treat them as we please. Time fate have proven that things happen for a reason and that everything that was not meant to be, it will not happen as much as we fight for it.
I was afraid to look back and remember all those things but I’ve finally let them go. Live, learn, let go and continue. That road trip was the beginning of a new me, a peaceful me. The “me” that can once again enjoy my early morning runs and all the simple things in life.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Acortar Distancias
I sent out this message a little over a week ago and I was a somewhat disappointed after not getting one single reply to let me know someone would be willing to give a lending hand.
I only got two, three responses of people "wanting" to know more about the project because they want to contribute but it really never escalates anything but "good intentions."
We as human beings lead are lives full of good intentions and tomorrow, next week but that "tomorrow" and "next week" never come.
They say tomorrow and next week but they don't specify the tomorrow of which day and the next week of what day/week.
It doesn't matter if I'm in this alone, after all the winner stands alone.
That is what Paulo Coelho titled one of his best sellers.
Good morning everyone,
First and foremost I’d like to wish all of a happy Monday and a wonderful week!
Second of all, please do take this message into account because we really need your help.
Most of you already know about one of my lifetime projects about opening a library for some unfortunate beings in Zapopan. I don’t think we will be able to achieve our target without your help.
One of my dreams has always been to someday have a huge library at home but I thought, if I can’t have it, might as well do it for someone else!
I strongly believe that by giving a lending hand, we lead a better quality of life, a human being’s happiness is not based on that but it definitely helps us make this world a better place and if we want this a better place, change must start from within.
This idea blossomed way back when I was in Junior High but I really put it into action two years ago when I started visiting different organizations and proposed my project to have a library but I was turned down until I found Acortar Distancias: www.acortardistancias.org a year ago.
I met up and interviewed Magguie Merino the founder and she loved my idea but it is a long process so we are still looking for volunteers and people who want to donate books in Spanish since many people in that area are illiterate and the few alliterate ones don’t have the financial means to buy books.
I am not asking you to come and spend your whole weekends there because I know that most of you wouldn’t be willing to dedicate a little time doing charity work but I do ask you to come together and donate as many books as you may have and forward this message to all your contacts/friends.
Let’s have more solidarity and make help Mexico become the first one in good aspects, one of them is to increase the reading literacy as we are the last one on the list.
Some of you conform with the fact that we have the wealthiest man and the most beautiful woman in the world (Carlos Slim and Jimena Navarrete).
But that is not enough, let's help Mexico make it to the headlines in a good way, let's project good news not bad ones!
Thanks!
Gina Yoryet
Sunday, July 18, 2010
“Life is a struggle and every day is a new battle”
“Life is a struggle and every day is a new battle”
It’s the end of another week pretty much and here we are once again getting ready for a new week. Some are spending the last precious and priceless moments with their families, some are watching tv, some are kicking back, some are still making the last rounds before sunset, some are feeling lonely and in despair because they don’ have anyone to spend time with, some are recovering from an illness or from a beloved’s death, some may be thinking of how overwhelming life can be at times.
It doesn’t matter what we are doing, Sundays have always been “the day” to reflect because it is so peaceful and quiet, and whatever everyone else is doing at this precise moment they sure don’t add up to the slow traffic of the seventh day of the week.
Many thoughts always ram in my mind especially when I’m alone which has been the case most of the times ever since I moved to this huge house and there isn’t anyone else to share it with or much less chat with. My roommate said she’d move shortly after I did but it hasn’t happened.
Just yesterday I spent a long part of the day with a dear friend of mine and her boyfriend. I had dinner at their place, then we went grocery shopping and after that we went to “el tianguis” an outdoor market, actually it was more like a bazaar because “tianguis” only happen in the day time. What a “crazy” way to spend a Saturday night, I remember when I used to be buck wild and party out from Thursday to Sunday night in a row without taking a moment to reflect about life. Partying was my main concern.
J is one of the most humble and down to earth people and I love spending time with her because she is so positive and she spreads her good vibes, plus she’s always been there for me when I’m going through a crisis.
When we were in the car she mentioned that I had such a nice car, she also told me that she loves my place and that she admires me because I am such a beautiful and intelligent woman and I’ve accomplished a lot. I was on the verge of tears because I felt so happy to hear her say that, especially because I am always so hard and critical on myself and whatever I do is never good enough. For example, this morning I was too exhausted to get up and go for my morning run, I was so mad at myself that I am still feeling the guilt trip. My workouts are my sanctuary and when I skip one, I get so angry at myself. I’ve also been a bit worried about my car and I’d like to get another one because it’s been giving me a lot of problems lately. I have to check my budget and go from there, when the right time comes I will replace it.
Many times I think and ask ask myself “why didn’t you do this, you shouldn’t have that done that?” I have to force myself to stop thinking because sometimes thinking too much prevents us from taking real action.
Thinking about the following day, the following week, the following month, year and my future overwhelm me but it is only a matter of taking each day at once even though sometimes it feels as if many days struck me at once. I have to admit that life is a struggle and every day is a new battle but we have to avoid every blow and keep going. This famous quote by Georgia O’keeffe has been one of my lifetime favorites because every single word is my case; “I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life -- but I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do”
I am not the only one who feels this way, having daily contact with people always help me see through them. Some are very transparent even though they try to hide it, they draw a barrier to hide their feelings, and some don’t care and open themselves right away.
On my last blog I mentioned the way I felt about all the tragedies happening in the world, well this time I won’t go so far. It saddens me to see Mexico tumbling down with earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, crime, the drug war, hundreds, perhaps thousands of women in Ciudad Juarez being murdered, many infectious diseases, the financial crisis. I wonder what Mexico will be like five years from now. Will it be sold to the U. S.? They pretty much own us so might as well let be all be one so no migra, minute men or racist act rejects immigrants, the ones that are making the U. S. be what it is now.
What are we to do when all this brings us down? Surround ourselves with positive and energetic people because it is very easy to be in despair. Like J made me appreciate who I am and what I have. The fact that she loves my old car helped me look at it from a different perspective. She’s right, it is a lot better than not having one. What I admire from her is the fact that she is always so thankful with life, she is not high maintenance at all and she could care less about brand clothes, she’s happy to be clothed. Why is it always like that? Other people always have to make us appreciate what we have because we always want more. Another thing she mentioned was that she loved the school where we work and I was kind of unsatisfied with it because I thought I should be doing “better.” What is better though? We always want more and once we reach that point, we realize that it wasn’t enough.
We as human beings make life very complicated - Life is sure a struggle and every day is certainly a new battle but we have two choices, fight and get up as many times as we hit the bottom, or let it overtake us.
It’s the end of another week pretty much and here we are once again getting ready for a new week. Some are spending the last precious and priceless moments with their families, some are watching tv, some are kicking back, some are still making the last rounds before sunset, some are feeling lonely and in despair because they don’ have anyone to spend time with, some are recovering from an illness or from a beloved’s death, some may be thinking of how overwhelming life can be at times.
It doesn’t matter what we are doing, Sundays have always been “the day” to reflect because it is so peaceful and quiet, and whatever everyone else is doing at this precise moment they sure don’t add up to the slow traffic of the seventh day of the week.
Many thoughts always ram in my mind especially when I’m alone which has been the case most of the times ever since I moved to this huge house and there isn’t anyone else to share it with or much less chat with. My roommate said she’d move shortly after I did but it hasn’t happened.
Just yesterday I spent a long part of the day with a dear friend of mine and her boyfriend. I had dinner at their place, then we went grocery shopping and after that we went to “el tianguis” an outdoor market, actually it was more like a bazaar because “tianguis” only happen in the day time. What a “crazy” way to spend a Saturday night, I remember when I used to be buck wild and party out from Thursday to Sunday night in a row without taking a moment to reflect about life. Partying was my main concern.
J is one of the most humble and down to earth people and I love spending time with her because she is so positive and she spreads her good vibes, plus she’s always been there for me when I’m going through a crisis.
When we were in the car she mentioned that I had such a nice car, she also told me that she loves my place and that she admires me because I am such a beautiful and intelligent woman and I’ve accomplished a lot. I was on the verge of tears because I felt so happy to hear her say that, especially because I am always so hard and critical on myself and whatever I do is never good enough. For example, this morning I was too exhausted to get up and go for my morning run, I was so mad at myself that I am still feeling the guilt trip. My workouts are my sanctuary and when I skip one, I get so angry at myself. I’ve also been a bit worried about my car and I’d like to get another one because it’s been giving me a lot of problems lately. I have to check my budget and go from there, when the right time comes I will replace it.
Many times I think and ask ask myself “why didn’t you do this, you shouldn’t have that done that?” I have to force myself to stop thinking because sometimes thinking too much prevents us from taking real action.
Thinking about the following day, the following week, the following month, year and my future overwhelm me but it is only a matter of taking each day at once even though sometimes it feels as if many days struck me at once. I have to admit that life is a struggle and every day is a new battle but we have to avoid every blow and keep going. This famous quote by Georgia O’keeffe has been one of my lifetime favorites because every single word is my case; “I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life -- but I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do”
I am not the only one who feels this way, having daily contact with people always help me see through them. Some are very transparent even though they try to hide it, they draw a barrier to hide their feelings, and some don’t care and open themselves right away.
On my last blog I mentioned the way I felt about all the tragedies happening in the world, well this time I won’t go so far. It saddens me to see Mexico tumbling down with earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, crime, the drug war, hundreds, perhaps thousands of women in Ciudad Juarez being murdered, many infectious diseases, the financial crisis. I wonder what Mexico will be like five years from now. Will it be sold to the U. S.? They pretty much own us so might as well let be all be one so no migra, minute men or racist act rejects immigrants, the ones that are making the U. S. be what it is now.
What are we to do when all this brings us down? Surround ourselves with positive and energetic people because it is very easy to be in despair. Like J made me appreciate who I am and what I have. The fact that she loves my old car helped me look at it from a different perspective. She’s right, it is a lot better than not having one. What I admire from her is the fact that she is always so thankful with life, she is not high maintenance at all and she could care less about brand clothes, she’s happy to be clothed. Why is it always like that? Other people always have to make us appreciate what we have because we always want more. Another thing she mentioned was that she loved the school where we work and I was kind of unsatisfied with it because I thought I should be doing “better.” What is better though? We always want more and once we reach that point, we realize that it wasn’t enough.
We as human beings make life very complicated - Life is sure a struggle and every day is certainly a new battle but we have two choices, fight and get up as many times as we hit the bottom, or let it overtake us.
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