Road trip

On my way to a road trip of a few beaches in Jalisco earlier this month, I realized that I hadn’t felt so much peace in my mind heart and soul in such a long time. Planning to get away for a few days can be postponed many times because work, family, time, or many other excuses so this time I said, “ok, I’m going!” Isabel one of my students was headed that direction on the same day so she offered to pick me up.
On our way there, Isabel, her parents and I were talking about so many things that the 3 and a half hours to Compostela went by in a flash. I watched them closely and noticed how well they get along, they didn’t scream at each other, they didn’t make drama about anything, they were very loving, all they inspired was peace and happiness.
In the midst of all this turmoil in Mexico and everywhere in the world, when you turn on the t. v., when you read the news in the internet all you see is crime, violence, drugs, deaths, rage, revenge, perversion, it is easy for us to lose sleep and get depressed.
Being around that loving family made me realize that even though every single human being is born with a good side and an evil side and we develop our evil side a lot more, it doesn’t mean that we are all bad and that all we do is bad and harm one another. Throughout my journey in life I’ve come across many bad intentioned people but I’ve also been fortunate to meet a few good people and those are the ones who stay in my life forever. I like surrounding myself with good and energized people, those who generate good vibes. Being around with people who only project bad vibes can poison our souls. We already have enough with our own conflicts and we don’t want to take on someone else’s.
During the entire trip while talking to them, I also thought about many things like life’s challenges.
There have been very tough times in my life and I’ve kicked and cried and thrown fits, asked why many times, and I had a lot of anger, frustration, resentment and rage but timing is everything.
The end of 2008, all of 2009 and half of 2010 were really challenging for me because everything went downhill. Sometimes we make the wrong decisions because we are not patient.
the economy went out the roof and I lost a lot of money like millions of people did, I lost someone extremely close to me, I had an accident in December of 2008, the holidays came and I always feel melancholic, my relationship ended and as much as I tried to save it, it was too late, the beginning of 2009 seemed very depressing and tense because many companies were downsizing, then Easter break came and with that the influenza where I don’t make money in any holiday as I work as an independent contractor, Mexico was put on red alert because of the spread of the disease, then in June to top it off I had an accident in which I almost died. It wasn’t my fault, things in my family were not going well, it is normal for every family to have conflicts at times, other small incidents that I let get to me happened. I ended up getting very anxious and depressed. It’s like they say, “when it rains, it pours.”

The world was in crisis and I was in a much deeper crisis but I won’t go into details because it still hurts to dig down that path. I stopped enjoying all the things that I am passionate about like working out, going on my early morning run on Sundays, reading.
There have been very few moments like that in my life and I really dread them because I can’t control them.
Many things have happened while being in Guadalajara but I won’t act like a coward and take off because I am here for a reason. I know I have a mission here and I will accomplish it.
Throughout my crisis I made many mistakes and hurt a few loved ones, I held on to people who didn’t want me in their life anymore and it took me a long time to understand and accept it. One of the reasons I never understood why I was never given another chance was because I have always believed in second chances but not everyone is like me so I accept it.
One thing I’ve learned from that crisis though is never to wear my feelings on my shoulders and that it is through turmoil when you find out who really cares about you and who will be there in ups and downs, through black and white, through good and bad. It doesn’t mean that we can hurt and lie to our loved ones and that we can treat them as we please. Time fate have proven that things happen for a reason and that everything that was not meant to be, it will not happen as much as we fight for it.
I was afraid to look back and remember all those things but I’ve finally let them go. Live, learn, let go and continue. That road trip was the beginning of a new me, a peaceful me. The “me” that can once again enjoy my early morning runs and all the simple things in life.