“Life is a struggle and every day is a new battle”

“Life is a struggle and every day is a new battle”

It’s the end of another week pretty much and here we are once again getting ready for a new week. Some are spending the last precious and priceless moments with their families, some are watching tv, some are kicking back, some are still making the last rounds before sunset, some are feeling lonely and in despair because they don’ have anyone to spend time with, some are recovering from an illness or from a beloved’s death, some may be thinking of how overwhelming life can be at times.
It doesn’t matter what we are doing, Sundays have always been “the day” to reflect because it is so peaceful and quiet, and whatever everyone else is doing at this precise moment they sure don’t add up to the slow traffic of the seventh day of the week.
Many thoughts always ram in my mind especially when I’m alone which has been the case most of the times ever since I moved to this huge house and there isn’t anyone else to share it with or much less chat with. My roommate said she’d move shortly after I did but it hasn’t happened.
Just yesterday I spent a long part of the day with a dear friend of mine and her boyfriend. I had dinner at their place, then we went grocery shopping and after that we went to “el tianguis” an outdoor market, actually it was more like a bazaar because “tianguis” only happen in the day time. What a “crazy” way to spend a Saturday night, I remember when I used to be buck wild and party out from Thursday to Sunday night in a row without taking a moment to reflect about life. Partying was my main concern.
J is one of the most humble and down to earth people and I love spending time with her because she is so positive and she spreads her good vibes, plus she’s always been there for me when I’m going through a crisis.
When we were in the car she mentioned that I had such a nice car, she also told me that she loves my place and that she admires me because I am such a beautiful and intelligent woman and I’ve accomplished a lot. I was on the verge of tears because I felt so happy to hear her say that, especially because I am always so hard and critical on myself and whatever I do is never good enough. For example, this morning I was too exhausted to get up and go for my morning run, I was so mad at myself that I am still feeling the guilt trip. My workouts are my sanctuary and when I skip one, I get so angry at myself. I’ve also been a bit worried about my car and I’d like to get another one because it’s been giving me a lot of problems lately. I have to check my budget and go from there, when the right time comes I will replace it.
Many times I think and ask ask myself “why didn’t you do this, you shouldn’t have that done that?” I have to force myself to stop thinking because sometimes thinking too much prevents us from taking real action.
Thinking about the following day, the following week, the following month, year and my future overwhelm me but it is only a matter of taking each day at once even though sometimes it feels as if many days struck me at once. I have to admit that life is a struggle and every day is a new battle but we have to avoid every blow and keep going. This famous quote by Georgia O’keeffe has been one of my lifetime favorites because every single word is my case; “I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life -- but I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do”
I am not the only one who feels this way, having daily contact with people always help me see through them. Some are very transparent even though they try to hide it, they draw a barrier to hide their feelings, and some don’t care and open themselves right away.
On my last blog I mentioned the way I felt about all the tragedies happening in the world, well this time I won’t go so far. It saddens me to see Mexico tumbling down with earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, crime, the drug war, hundreds, perhaps thousands of women in Ciudad Juarez being murdered, many infectious diseases, the financial crisis. I wonder what Mexico will be like five years from now. Will it be sold to the U. S.? They pretty much own us so might as well let be all be one so no migra, minute men or racist act rejects immigrants, the ones that are making the U. S. be what it is now.
What are we to do when all this brings us down? Surround ourselves with positive and energetic people because it is very easy to be in despair. Like J made me appreciate who I am and what I have. The fact that she loves my old car helped me look at it from a different perspective. She’s right, it is a lot better than not having one. What I admire from her is the fact that she is always so thankful with life, she is not high maintenance at all and she could care less about brand clothes, she’s happy to be clothed. Why is it always like that? Other people always have to make us appreciate what we have because we always want more. Another thing she mentioned was that she loved the school where we work and I was kind of unsatisfied with it because I thought I should be doing “better.” What is better though? We always want more and once we reach that point, we realize that it wasn’t enough.
We as human beings make life very complicated - Life is sure a struggle and every day is certainly a new battle but we have two choices, fight and get up as many times as we hit the bottom, or let it overtake us.

With age Comes wisdom

With age Comes wisdom
July 11, 2010
By Gina Roman

Today after running many usual weekend errands, I was reminded of something important by one of my neighbors, an older woman in her 60’s. She proved this well known saying my mother used to repeat time after time when I was growing up, “más vale el diablo por viejo que por Diablo” The devil knows more from experience than from being the devil, or with age comes wisdom. It seems as if older people are always one step ahead as much as we want to trick them. When I was younger I was always so bedazzled by their wisdom and I was left in awe always being so jealous of them being on top of even the littlest detail. I was completely unaware of this but my neighbor had been watching me for months, she wondered why I am always in and out of the house always on the go all stressed out because I have a million things to do in one day and there isn’t enough time. I was quite startled to be honest because I didn’t think someone would pay attention to my every move. She asked “honey, why are you always running around like insane?” I told her, “because there are many things to do and there are only 24 hours in one day! Plus keeping myself occupied takes my mind away from problems and getting sad.” She looked at me and all she did was nod her head. “Before you spill your guts out with all these excuses, let me tell you this and beat it on your head from now on, stay focused on solutions rather than problems.”
I started, for example, after discussing the gulf oil disaster at length in one on my classes I noticed that I felt exhausted and depressed for the remainder of the day and I didn’t even have the energy to do anything else so I came home and stared at the screen trying to put some writing together but I wasn’t even able to do one of the things I enjoy most in life! I realized that this had been happening more and more as I’ve watched this tragic story along with others unfold. I went on, so it is easy to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by the enormity of the damage as well as the response. I know many people feel the same way.
These are challenging times and it's heartbreaking to see what's happening to our planet.
The foolish choices made by some with so little consciousness are infuriating at best. But, it's important to remember that focusing on the problem, over and over again, just contributes to the energy going in that direction - toward the problem. So, I decided to shift my attention
to the fix. Instead of letting it affect me, I chose to control my emotions although I found it hard because those are not something we can turn off like a tv. I started listening to motivational talks given by people who have been gone through rough and I mean rough moments but they were able to pull through and now they are intact so I instantly felt hopeful.

I watched, let’s call her “Rosita” my neighbor fill my heart and soul with so much peace and felt a bit awkward since I let the emotional idiot out but at the same time I was very grateful and so I brought her a box of chocolate the next day because she was so kind and opened her warm heart to me.
Rosita hasn’t been the first elderly person to take a few minutes of her priceless time to give me advice, I always seem to forget because I am always so “occupied” though. When they tell me, “when are you going to take some time for yourself and relax?” I tell them, “I really don’t have the time, do you know when I will? When I die, only then, right now there are too many things to do, people to meet, places to go, things to learn.” They say, “Well, don’t let all that doom and gloom rob your inner peace.” I’m not the only Mexican who works almost from dusk till dawn, Mexican people work almost from the moment they’re born until they drop dead. They are one of the most hard working ones and one of the things that amazes me the most is that they are always so giving.
I didn’t want to overwhelm Rosita with all the tragic thoufhts I had in mind and later that night I reflected on the countless events I’ve experienced seen since I’ve been here. For instance, I cannot bare in mind the dehumanization and destructiveness of capitalism, neo-liberalism and globalization on Mexicans in general and the Indigenous people in particular; this beautiful “país” that is extremely rich in natural resources, but has un “gobierno” who is willing to sell and exploit their country and their “gente,” our environment being destroyed for profit, for the rich and for government interests, “comunidades” where water only comes three days, have no drainage or electricity or it is sky high pricewise, “familias” that have to pay more than companies and “fábricas” for electricity, “casas” built out of cardboard and constructed only 10 minutes away or right next to luxurious houses or hotels, lies, government “chingando, desalojo, despojo, invasion”, and “repression”, men and women working 14-16 hours a day for 45 pesos a day or roughly $4.50, “narcotráfico” active and in control in many states, “compañeros,” beaten, arrested, violated/raped and deported, political prisoners fighting for their dignity and their rights, indigenous communities fighting to conserve their land, customs and traditions, mothers looking and fighting for their sons and daughters who have disappeared. “They were taken alive, we want them back alive.” Youth taking a stand, thinking critically and declaring that something is not right in their country, punks and anarchists, being different, unique, being themselves, children being conscious. “Somos chiquitos, pero concientes de lo que está pasando.” The organization, solidarity and unity of different types of people not only on a national level, but on an international one, the presence of Chicanos, Mexicanos and people del “otro lado,” people “peleando y luchando” their entire lives, an anger so deep that they are willing to die fighting, not for money or richness, but for their families and land, their mother earth.

Watching this fight for greed and power day after day has helped me learn that the only way to really see and listen is with the heart; those who have less are the ones who offer the most, and most of all, I have learned that before we can think about changing our community, our country, the world, change must start within each one of us. I have also learned to be self dependent because no one will always be there to do everything for me the way I expected it “back home.” And I have many choices, millions of people don’t, they must conform with their “destiny.”
After I’ve talked to the voices of many people I feel their pain and suffering. Throughout the years and places I’ve been, their stories and their “palabras” have touched my heart, listening to them sent shivers through my body, but their anger, resistance and courage runs through my veins and it stirs something inside of me each time. I have found in these moments that each child I’ve played with, “un don o doña” I’ve spoken with, each “danza o canción” I’ve heard has touched “mi corazón”until I realized it was filled with love for this country, this culture, this “raza-mi raza.” I’ve concluded that I am truly connected, and although I was unaware of all these injustices, “las raíces de México” run through my blood and the border is only an imaginary line because “no migra, minute man or muro” can keep our heart from uniting and fighting for what we believe and know that another world is possible – “¡otro mundo si es possible!”

During the time that I’ve lived in Guadalajara I’ve experienced a personal transformation that has changed and marked my life indefinitely and I have so many things to be thankful for, there are many people in my life that have been a great support. I am in México for a reason and I have a mission to complete because I feel so inspired by the least fortunate ones and when I fell their eyes pierce right through me, they feel me with courage, they are my force, they push me to keep going.

Running in Guadalajara

Running in Guadalajara


July 4th 2010
By: Gina Roman

While millions of Americans rant and rave about Independence Day in the U. S., Mexicans celebrate the fact that it is another weekend. Have you ever heard someone say that life in Mexico is always a fiesta? That is one of the reasons among others why many people love it here because of its exquisite cuisine,its breath taking landscapes, and because it is so full of life and bright colors. Especially Guadalajara, which holds one of the best climates throughout Mexico and it is fairly safe considering the fact that it is the second largest city here; it gets a bit flooded during the rainy season which turns the roads into a disaster but not to worry because there is a simple and easy solution, you can buy a boat. Now, don’t panic, look at it from a positive perspective you can get a good arm workout when moving those paddles back and forth.
Never mind on the good workout because a lot of people here don’t like to work out. Being a health and fitness advisor on the side, (I mostly do it as a hobby) I hear all kinds of excuses from my clients or just people in general about not being able to get in shape. One of them is that there is always something to celebrate. Most of the times they are so predictable, they end up saying exactly what I had thought because I pull many of those lame and tedious excuses myself. I sit there listening to every single word they say “Oh Gina, but I exercise on a regular basis, but I just got on the new diet, but I do a two hour power walk almost every day, oh, but I go to the gym regularly.” Many times I hesitate whether or not to ask them what they eat because I know what their answer will be. They eat the entire refrigerator every day! What many people don’t understand is that it is not about what we eat, it is about how much we eat. Seriously, think about quantity,. dieting is not a good idea, people have always been confused as to getting on a diet and leading a healthy diet, I see skeptical eyes every time they ask what I do to stay in shape “I’ve never gone on a single diet in my life I tell them,” but they don’t buy it.
Speaking of festivities and liveliness, I’ve always found it difficulty here to stay focused and disciplined on the weekends because something always pulls me away from my weekly goals as far as my workouts. Every weekend I think that nothing will happen but someone always calls to invite me to a bar, to someone’s birthday celebration, or to have dinner. For example last night I had a friend and her boyfriend over for dinner, I gave them a ride back to their place because it was kind of late plus it was raining so by the time I went to bed it was much later than expected so this morning I had such a hard time waking up and getting myself out of bed.
When I was finally able to get myself together I went to pick up my mom, we went to la via recreativa, recreational Sunday where all the main roads and streets in Guadalajara are closed from 8am to 2pm for runners, cyclists, skaters, walkers or families to spend quality time by playing games or doing different recreational activities. I wasn’t in the mood to go on an intensive run so I walked for about 15 minutes and then I had a lazy run with my mother for another 35 minutes. I didn’t even break a sweat and now I’m feeling the guilt trip because yesterday I ate everything I could get my hands on but it’s ok, I am entitled to do that every once in a while because most of the times I kick my butt at the gym.
One of the biggest distractions to stay in shape is FOOD! Sometimes when people invite me over for dinner, I am over indulged with all these Mexican goodies, pozole, tacos, tortas, tamales, enchiladas, mole carne ‘asada, beans made with lard, fried rice. They say, “mija comete otro tamalito, estas muy flaquita y palida, te vas a romper” have another tamalito, you’re so skinny and pale, you’re going to break.”
Before I couldn’t handle so much insistence and I always gave in to the pressure even against my will because the fact of someone getting offended makes me nervous and I don’t like hurting peoples’ feelings. When it comes to situations like this Mexicans can get very sensitive because they’re givers, they love to share but they hate it when they are rejected, they take it very personal. I’ve learned to handle that and explain to people without making them feel rejected, I tell them that I am in the health area and that is why it is important for me to watch what I stick in my mouth so they have taken it better that they even ask me for tips and advice. That’s how I’ve gotten a few clients here and there. Life in Mexico can be very tempting and it will throw you off track as many times as you let it but it really boils down to us, we are the first individual we have to fight against and control it is really up to us to control our hungry monster within
I recall those long weeks and months in college when I used to switch to nun mode without a problem especially when I was competing. I didn’t have a single drop of alcohol in months. As much as I loved drinking and partying I didn’t do it because I loved running so I learned to sacrifice some things after I was almost kicked out of the cross country and track teams. The first semester at university when I started competing I was a non tiring partying animal that I ended up being the bad influence of the team, I’d always talk my teammates into partying out the night before and topping it off with a disgustingly heavy and greasy meal at three or four in the morning the day before we competed. One day my coach couldn’t put up with it anymore because I wasn’t performing the way I should have, she said, “Yoryet, look, I know you’re young and you want to have fun and I won’t tell you what to do because you’re old enough to make your own decisions but you need to decide, you can either keep on partying and eat as much junk as you want but you are out of them team or you can put all those habits aside and stop bad influencing your teammates and give it your best shot, it’s your call.” At that moment I felt as if someone had dumped a cold bucket of water on me. Right then and there I decided that I could still do both, party as hard as I could when I was off season and put that on hold when I competed but I had to prioritize immediately. From thereon I stopped pulling all nighters and I trained like a mad man on season. There were many nights when I was all frustrated and bitter because I wasn’t partying out “enough” but I told myself that I had chosen that temporary road which gave me a sense of accomplishment as time went by.
Even though now partying is not a big issue because I am a lot older, I still come across small obstacles from time to time. I’ve managed to run a couple of marathons, I’ve worked as a fitness trainer on and off for a while, I’m at the gym at six in the morning (sometimes I wish there were 24 hour fitness centers or at least open at 5 in the morning) and I still do my regular Sunday runs which I enjoy for the most part because even running in Mexico is such a huge celebration as in the U. S. it is so plain and boring. When I run a 21k or a 42.1k I feel as if I were at a concert because they play loud music, they let multi-colored balloons into the air, there are so many people on their front porch so hyped up, feeling the adrenaline, whistling, cheering and giving out water, slices of orange, candy and different things to keep runners hydrated and energized. One of my favorite things is that at the end of each race every single runner gets a medal. That is an awesome way to get motivated.



FCC Invitational - Women's Overall
http://www.proracegroup.com/fcc02/women.html

DyeStatCal - California High School track on DyeStat
http://www.dyestatcal.com/results/xc2002/020914fresnoinvitationalcomcollege.htm

FCC Invitational - Women's Team
http://www.proracegroup.com/fcc02/womteam.html

DirectAthletics | ARC 4-Way Women's 800m Run
http://www.directathletics.com/results/track/592_20864.html?athlete_hnd=94635

DirectAthletics | ARC 4-Way Women's 1500m Run
http://www.directathletics.com/results/track/592_20865.html?athlete_hnd=70330

DirectAthletics | Northern California Championships

http://www.directathletics.com/results/xc/210.html