With age Comes wisdom

With age Comes wisdom
July 11, 2010
By Gina Roman

Today after running many usual weekend errands, I was reminded of something important by one of my neighbors, an older woman in her 60’s. She proved this well known saying my mother used to repeat time after time when I was growing up, “más vale el diablo por viejo que por Diablo” The devil knows more from experience than from being the devil, or with age comes wisdom. It seems as if older people are always one step ahead as much as we want to trick them. When I was younger I was always so bedazzled by their wisdom and I was left in awe always being so jealous of them being on top of even the littlest detail. I was completely unaware of this but my neighbor had been watching me for months, she wondered why I am always in and out of the house always on the go all stressed out because I have a million things to do in one day and there isn’t enough time. I was quite startled to be honest because I didn’t think someone would pay attention to my every move. She asked “honey, why are you always running around like insane?” I told her, “because there are many things to do and there are only 24 hours in one day! Plus keeping myself occupied takes my mind away from problems and getting sad.” She looked at me and all she did was nod her head. “Before you spill your guts out with all these excuses, let me tell you this and beat it on your head from now on, stay focused on solutions rather than problems.”
I started, for example, after discussing the gulf oil disaster at length in one on my classes I noticed that I felt exhausted and depressed for the remainder of the day and I didn’t even have the energy to do anything else so I came home and stared at the screen trying to put some writing together but I wasn’t even able to do one of the things I enjoy most in life! I realized that this had been happening more and more as I’ve watched this tragic story along with others unfold. I went on, so it is easy to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by the enormity of the damage as well as the response. I know many people feel the same way.
These are challenging times and it's heartbreaking to see what's happening to our planet.
The foolish choices made by some with so little consciousness are infuriating at best. But, it's important to remember that focusing on the problem, over and over again, just contributes to the energy going in that direction - toward the problem. So, I decided to shift my attention
to the fix. Instead of letting it affect me, I chose to control my emotions although I found it hard because those are not something we can turn off like a tv. I started listening to motivational talks given by people who have been gone through rough and I mean rough moments but they were able to pull through and now they are intact so I instantly felt hopeful.

I watched, let’s call her “Rosita” my neighbor fill my heart and soul with so much peace and felt a bit awkward since I let the emotional idiot out but at the same time I was very grateful and so I brought her a box of chocolate the next day because she was so kind and opened her warm heart to me.
Rosita hasn’t been the first elderly person to take a few minutes of her priceless time to give me advice, I always seem to forget because I am always so “occupied” though. When they tell me, “when are you going to take some time for yourself and relax?” I tell them, “I really don’t have the time, do you know when I will? When I die, only then, right now there are too many things to do, people to meet, places to go, things to learn.” They say, “Well, don’t let all that doom and gloom rob your inner peace.” I’m not the only Mexican who works almost from dusk till dawn, Mexican people work almost from the moment they’re born until they drop dead. They are one of the most hard working ones and one of the things that amazes me the most is that they are always so giving.
I didn’t want to overwhelm Rosita with all the tragic thoufhts I had in mind and later that night I reflected on the countless events I’ve experienced seen since I’ve been here. For instance, I cannot bare in mind the dehumanization and destructiveness of capitalism, neo-liberalism and globalization on Mexicans in general and the Indigenous people in particular; this beautiful “país” that is extremely rich in natural resources, but has un “gobierno” who is willing to sell and exploit their country and their “gente,” our environment being destroyed for profit, for the rich and for government interests, “comunidades” where water only comes three days, have no drainage or electricity or it is sky high pricewise, “familias” that have to pay more than companies and “fábricas” for electricity, “casas” built out of cardboard and constructed only 10 minutes away or right next to luxurious houses or hotels, lies, government “chingando, desalojo, despojo, invasion”, and “repression”, men and women working 14-16 hours a day for 45 pesos a day or roughly $4.50, “narcotráfico” active and in control in many states, “compañeros,” beaten, arrested, violated/raped and deported, political prisoners fighting for their dignity and their rights, indigenous communities fighting to conserve their land, customs and traditions, mothers looking and fighting for their sons and daughters who have disappeared. “They were taken alive, we want them back alive.” Youth taking a stand, thinking critically and declaring that something is not right in their country, punks and anarchists, being different, unique, being themselves, children being conscious. “Somos chiquitos, pero concientes de lo que está pasando.” The organization, solidarity and unity of different types of people not only on a national level, but on an international one, the presence of Chicanos, Mexicanos and people del “otro lado,” people “peleando y luchando” their entire lives, an anger so deep that they are willing to die fighting, not for money or richness, but for their families and land, their mother earth.

Watching this fight for greed and power day after day has helped me learn that the only way to really see and listen is with the heart; those who have less are the ones who offer the most, and most of all, I have learned that before we can think about changing our community, our country, the world, change must start within each one of us. I have also learned to be self dependent because no one will always be there to do everything for me the way I expected it “back home.” And I have many choices, millions of people don’t, they must conform with their “destiny.”
After I’ve talked to the voices of many people I feel their pain and suffering. Throughout the years and places I’ve been, their stories and their “palabras” have touched my heart, listening to them sent shivers through my body, but their anger, resistance and courage runs through my veins and it stirs something inside of me each time. I have found in these moments that each child I’ve played with, “un don o doña” I’ve spoken with, each “danza o canción” I’ve heard has touched “mi corazón”until I realized it was filled with love for this country, this culture, this “raza-mi raza.” I’ve concluded that I am truly connected, and although I was unaware of all these injustices, “las raíces de México” run through my blood and the border is only an imaginary line because “no migra, minute man or muro” can keep our heart from uniting and fighting for what we believe and know that another world is possible – “¡otro mundo si es possible!”

During the time that I’ve lived in Guadalajara I’ve experienced a personal transformation that has changed and marked my life indefinitely and I have so many things to be thankful for, there are many people in my life that have been a great support. I am in México for a reason and I have a mission to complete because I feel so inspired by the least fortunate ones and when I fell their eyes pierce right through me, they feel me with courage, they are my force, they push me to keep going.