Tuesday, October 30, 2012

A well-lived life


A well lived life.
October 30, 2012
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


I was asked a series of questions in a life expectancy test I took a few weeks ago; according to it, my life span will be very healthy and longevous.

That test had completely absconded out of my mind until this morning while listening to, "A laugh a minute, on screen and in life," an interview about/with the recently deceased essayist, novelist, screenwriter and film director Nora Ephron - she was unbeknownst to me until today (I recently learnt the meaning of unbeknownst and I bumped into it once again in her reading). 

In the interview Nora spoke about her published essay collection about the fears and challenges of getting older called, "I feel bad about my neck and other thoughts on being a woman."

She attested the following in her interview:

I think one of the things that I loved about the book as somebody who's in my 50s, is that I'm feeling a lot of this too, eyeglasses.
NORA EPHRON: Eyeglasses. One of the worst things.
DAVIES: You can't read the instructions on the bottle of pills.
EPHRON: Well, could you ever? By the way, they are so small that I don't know that I could have ever read them. But I didn't need the instructions on the pill bottle...
(LAUGHTER)
DAVIES: It didn't matter.
EPHRON: ...as much when I could read them because there wasn't as much wrong with me. I mean I take so many pills in the morning it's a miracle I have room for breakfast.
DAVIES: But you scatter glasses all over...
EPHRON: But glasses.
DAVIES: You scatter them all over the house and you can never find them, right?
EPHRON: I can never find them. And when I find them, when I - the thing that makes you nuts if you're a reader...
Like glasses.
DAVIES: You scatter them all over the house, and you can never find one.
EPHRON: I can never find them, and when I find them - the thing that makes you nuts, if you're a reader, which I am, is that you've spent your life seeing something you want to read, picking it up and reading it.
DAVIES: Right.
EPHRON: There's no gap between the impulse and the actuality. Now, of course, you have to find your glasses.
DAVIES: It's a process.
EPHRON: And you have lost them. Even if you just went out and bought, like, five pairs of them at the drugstore that don't cost that much so that this won't happen, you can't find the ones you really like, because even if you bought five of the same ones, somehow there's one that's better than the others.
DAVIES: That's perfect.
(LAUGHTER)
EPHRON: And, in my case, you don't even know which glasses you are, because you've got distance. You've got trifocals. You've got bifocals. You've got dark reading glasses. You've got - there are - I was thinking of color-coding my glasses, but then I know I would forget...
DAVIES: The color codes.
EPHRON: ...which was which.
DAVIES: Right.
EPHRON: Because I forget everything.
DAVIES: You avoid mirrors, you say? I don't...
EPHRON: I avoid...
DAVIES: You shouldn't avoid mirrors.
EPHRON: Thank you so much.
DAVIES: You look perfectly nice.
EPHRON: That's very nice of you to say, but the truth is, there does come a certain moment in your life - and I notice, by the way, if I'm following a young person down the street and that young person passes a mirror, I feel the fabulous way he or she turns toward it and kind of smiles...
DAVIES: The dramatic sashay.
EPHRON: ...and checks themselves out, and they know what they're going to see. We don't know. There's a certain moment where you just are terrified about what you're going to see. So you - if you are forced to look in a mirror, you kind of squint, and then gently open your eyes to see if it's safe. Andif it's not, you just close them and walk on.
Nora just like every woman in this planet is daunted by the infinite number of challenges we have to face day by day, yet she was able to shun all the tiny matters lying within and managed to succeed. 
That's what amazes me the most and that is exactly what I will shape one day. When I turn seventy or eighty years old, I will look back, reflect and will humbly pride myself of the legacy I built and the transparent trace left behind with all the personal, professional and spiritual  accomplishments I will have reached.
When I am ninety years old I will tell myself; "This odyssey was very scary but I endured it . I was bent temporarily time after time but was never completely annihilated. I've defeated every battle set my way and I am ready for more. I am the most imperfect perfectionist and I accept it! My accomplishments were reached by me and only me and I didn't have to use others to find my essence and to leave my mark in this world. I am completely ok with having a few extra kilos on me because I was never a super model to begin with. The spots and wrinkles on my face are a part of me and I'll keep them. Ok, it's about time that you stop being so hard on  yourself. Be scared of what lies ahead but I will pull through just fine." 
Not a single minute will I let myself loose because it is not a choice.Therefore when I check out I desire to be loved and well-remembered by those who care about me. 
Aging is sure frightening. However long I am to last, I wish to have a well lived life like that of Nora Ephron's and then I shall rest in peace. 
She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. She smiles when she feels like screaming, and she sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she's happy and laughs when she's afraid. Her love is unconditional. There's only one thing wrong with her. She forgets what she's worth.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

An oath of love & commitment


An oath of love & commitment
October 28, 2012
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


Dear beloved, 

Our lifetime promenade has been wonderful since we were bonded. As the faithful and inseparable companions we've always been, we've defeated every obstacle that's come across our path with our most powerful sword: Our health.

You are the only one who's truly been there with me and for me (without a complaint) but more so, the one and only who's put up with me all my life.  Fretting is pointless because I am certain that you will be with me till the end of time albeit all the physical abuse I've made you go through and despite my disdain.

It goes beyond me why I was such a deaf and blind tenant and let you grieve for three years! That is why today, I am extending a vow of love, tender care, respect and commitment to you. 
I am counting the days till we reconcile. I impatiently await for November 15, the day when all the physical pain will be put behind and we'll finally embark on an injury free journey hand in hand.

From day one when we head towards recovery, I promise to be patient and protective with you. I will nurture and care for you the way I should have since we came to existence.
I swear that I will accept and appreciate you for your natural beauty and purpose as the creator you are meant to be. I will not be critical and I'll overlook all the superficial aspects of it, I will have and hold you from hereon, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. 

You may be filled with skepticism but just wait and see, actions speak louder than words…
I will be very even-tempered with you; I won't leave you nor forsake you. I promise to stand by you so together we can reinforce our bond and strengthen 'us' so we can be one whole again. 

I will no longer wreak any internal or external havoc and much less will I put you through the terrible 2's. I won't force you into doing 2 much, 2 soon or 2 fast. I will give you plenty of time to heal and recover.
Be assured that you won't go through any unnecessary suffering from my end.

Thank you for withstanding the physical roller coaster you've gone through with the crazy me. 
I will never again take you for granted for you are one of the best presents I was gifted with…
My immaculate temple


John 2:21
"But he was speaking of the temple of his body."
Corinthians 15:44
"It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body."
"I have a woman's body and a child's emotions."
Elizabeth Taylor

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Angels Do Exist


Angels do Exist
October 24, 2012
By: Gina Yoryet Roman



I've been infatuated all day with this captivating philosophy a friend of mine emailed me yesterday. It was an immediate boost to get me to write since I've been pretty laid back in this aspect lately. The part that I liked the most goes like this:
We NEVER get what we want,
We NEVER want what we get,
We NEVER have what we like,
We NEVER like what we have,
and still we live and love, no matter what we have.
That's life...

I want to be taller, I wish I had a more perked up cleavage, my bootie needs to be more round, I must have toned up my arms, I would like to have more clothes, shoes, I'd like to travel more often and have more friends, I want to date more…
I covet all the things in the world because I deserve them which means I have to have them…

My life is very depressing because I don't possess more. 

Whether it's raining more than ever at a given time due to one's own personal revolution created by oneself, against oneself, there has to be a moment in life where we have to look further than our invisible and unbreakable bubble and realize that the world doesn't revolve around "one."

We need to find a cure to the world's most crippling disease, "I," and look at the whole picture, that's why I've concluded that life is about reaching out to the ones most in need and aiding them because we are one fraternity and as a whole, we shall make this world a better place. Volunteer work has become a part of who I am (since I was sixteen years old); this has been very rewarding and it fills me with joy- My happiness doesn't rely upon this but it helps me define my essence and it takes me one step closer to my meaning. 

Like in the well written biography of Steve Jobs on page 285 (I love this writer's style that I even know where exactly this quote can be found) when Toy Story was in the make. They were trying to create something with a purpose to share with others and so it was done. 
"Toy Story sprang from a belief, which John Lasseter and Jobs shared, that products have an essence to them, a purpose for which they were made. If the object were to have feelings, these would be based on its desire to fulfill its essence. 
The purpose of a glass, for example, is to hold water; if it had feelings, it would be happy when full and sad when empty. The essence of a computer screen is to interface with a human. The essence of a unicycle is to be ridden in a circus. As for toys, their purpose is to be played with by kids, and their existential fear is of being discarded or upstaged by newer toys."

Therefore, these geniuses called angels used their brilliant minds and gave life to Buzz light year and Woody, targeting children, to help them live a fantasy in their naive little minds. 

I was not fortunate enough to meet Steve Jobs who impacted humanity by touching billions of lives, nor have I had been blessed with meeting Bill Gates who started the Forbes 500 Charity Foundation to raise funds and donate that income to fight poverty, BUT I have been blessed with many angels in Guadalajara amidst the unbearable physical pain I've been going through since early August. The people who have walked with me from moment one. 

Everyone that comes to your life, it is for a reason whether it be to teach you a lesson, to walk hand in hand with you till the end of time, to hurt you and show you how to forgive, forget, keep going, to be more selective, love again and choose who stays and who goes. 

It doesn't matter what material belongings I posses, I have something even better and I've decided who is staying in my life…
God's sent messengers, 
The ones who have trusted me even when they've been blindfolded.
They who have accepted me for who I am, not for my position in society nor for my looks. 
Those angels that will read my post tomorrow as soon as it pops up in their inbox.
They who have given me an undeserved love and endless help.

Thank you angels!




Sunday, October 21, 2012

Are my thoughts in a specific language?


Are my thoughts in a specific language?
October 21st, 2012
By: Gina Yoryet Roman

The other day one of my students said to me, "I have a question for you, when you think, do you think in English?" I replied, "Yes," I think in English and I talk to myself in English."  He feels that he's not progressing so he continued digging information out of me. "How did you get to that level? I feel that I cannot express myself the way I would like to."  My response was, You may not believe it but I had a very basic level of the language until I started teaching, writing and interpreting, the nature of my job/s is very demanding and it forces me to expand my vocabulary in many areas and in two languages. On top of that, I schedule all my meetings in English, my phone, computer and email settings are in English, I speak English 95% of the time in Mexico! When I watch tv programs, they are English programs, I listen to the radio and music in English, I am constantly brushing up my skills and giving myself more room for improvement."

I do it because I have developed the habit. Listening, writing, speaking, reading, grammar, are all part of the learning process plus, time, energy, effort and persistence in and out of the classroom but many people don't make the time to apply it altogether. There was a commercial a few years ago when the World Cup was being advertised: 'Come football, "toma football, suena football,"  which means that you have to be in continuous exposure in these matters. 
That student is not the only one who's asked me, many people are curious to know because a vast majority of them feel they've hit a plateau when it comes to learning English and/or other languages. 
An utmost important fact many are oblivious to, is that it is a lifetime of knowledge. Every topic is different because it's got its own specialized and technical terminology, making it impossible to learn a language at 100% so we have to progress slowly and constantly.
I've voluntarily pushed myself to write in English in which I always look for synonyms or for a better way to paraphrase a word or sentence I've repeated a lot. Any chance there is, I get my hands on a book and I am always highlighting new words, quotes I like, etc. When I have an interpretation event, I have to study the terminology in both languages, this gives me an opportunity to expand my knowledge in both languages. 
Amongst the topics I've interpreted or translated are: Medical, legal, tourism, financial, economical, political, education, criminology, technical (in many areas), government, religious, entertainment, art, general, business, social, architecture, commercial, academic, fashion, soaps, beauty, fashion, etc. 
Language learning is one of the most amazing gifts we can give to ourselves because there will always be more to learn; the culture, the country, the food, the aromas, the colors, its people, it's a whole magical world that broadens opportunities and opens new horizons. It is not only about learning the language itself but knowing about the language, how it is formed and everything entailed to it. 
One of my goals this year was to start learning a new language but for one reason or another I have not made it happen. At this given moment, my mind has to be focused in healing physically but it shall happen, I am not too concerned right now.
So answering my student's question, I do think and do self talk in English and just as easily I can flip the channel and do the same in Spanish (there is a lot to improve in this side of the coin). 
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
‒Nelson Mandela
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
‒Frank Smith
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
‒Ludwig Wittgenstein
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
‒Sarah Caldwell
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
‒Chinese Proverb
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
‒Geoffrey Willans
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
‒Charlemagne
Those who know nothing of foreign languages know nothing of their own.
‒Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
‒Rita Mae Brown
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
‒Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Sister Superior Gina


Sister Superior Gina 
October 17, 2012
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


There was a stage in life when it was hard to reveal myself in the mirror and admit that I'd been struggling emotionally for quite some time. (because of family problems, a breakup, issues at work, a car wreck and other matters). 
The blurry images of me lying in bed unable to function ruminate in my mind and lead me to think about what I was asked once:
"What is something you would never become?" The first words that darted out of my mouth were, "I'd never become a nun!" 

At that given point, I was completely disassociated from my religion. While enjoying the vida loca, I had no reason to hold on to my faith since I possessed more, I was young and looked "good,"I had many friends, I didn't need anymore but deep down before going to bed every night, I was entrapped in a turmoil of emotions; anxiety, sadness, emptiness, anger, frustration. 
I was a prisoner of the draining superficial and materialistic aspects most humans suffer from. 
The more I prayed (or attempted to pray) and reach out to God to find serenity, the further out he felt creating a much wider void in my soul.

These words, "I'd never become a nun!" have drummed in my memory for many years especially now that I finally found the long sought peace. Before I had more material possessions, there were more distractions in my life, but I lacked the peace that I now have.

And all of that shows. One cannot hide who he/she really is because sooner or later the real YOU will emerge. I can now reaffirm that after running away from what I was brought up I could not abscond any longer.

Within a ten month span of time, at least six different people have coincided on the same thing. "Have you thought about joining a religious order? Have you ever considered becoming a nun? Don't rule out the possibility of becoming a religious."
Another person called me 'sister superior Gina' because according to him I am good at listening and helping people be at ease.

Even when that thought has inhabited in my mind for some time, I can't say I have heard God's calling just yet. Perhaps down the line somewhere in my journey I will have a face-off with myself and accept it.

What I am aware of, is that all the emotional turbulence I went through, was defeated through praying, making it easy to detach from all the emptiness of society and to lock down the selfish gene lying within even when distraction is pounding on my door aggressively.
I cannot disguise myself under the vanity of endless shopping to have more unnecessary things because materials possessions often clutter my life rather than enrich it (this is Steve Jobs quote). 
Hiding behind layers of makeup isn't me either, concealing my face behind a thick mask is not me.

Too much of anything has always overwhelmed me. Whether it's makeup, material possessions, curves in my body, the clothes, shoes and jewelry I wear, the fragrance I use, the car I drive, my conversations with people, I don't like showing off. 

I much rather stick with The Simple life:
Maybe one day I will accomplish my purpose by being Sister Superior Gina…
That day it would have to be 'Sister Superior Yoryet.'




Sunday, October 14, 2012

October 12


El 12 de octubre
October 14, 2012
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


For one thing or another I haven't been faithful to my writing. There's a huge gap between September, October and August when I posted more than I ever had. 
My intent this upcoming week is to post three or four days a week.

Speaking of faith, I had to cancel on a friend of mine I was supposed to meet on Friday morning after realizing that it was October 12, dia de la Virgen de Zapopan, 'La Morenita or La Generala,' as Mexicans call her.
Thousands of Mexicans gather the night before to start a procession and stop temple by temple all through Guadalajara. 
This  yearly march is the third most important pilgrimage in Mexico after that of La Virgen de Guadalupe and La Virgen de San Juan de Los Lagos. 

La Generala is carried in a vehicle showered with religious songs, flowers and prayers as a sign of devotion throughout the city that's why most of the main streets are closed.
I didn't witness the parade but I was awakened by the firecrackers early Friday and I felt at ease with the peace and faith spread during the entire day.

I couldn't miss out on a procession so later that afternoon I went to the one at my church.

Three police officers escorted our crowd, stopping traffic, breaking through mobs of people. 
Despite the fact that values and catholicism are slowly being lost in Mexico, everybody reacted very warm as we walked through the streets and passed by low end bars . They didn't join us but I could hear people shouting, "Ahi viene la procesion de la Virgen de Zapopan, apaguen la musica"
Others crossed themselves when they saw us approaching, some joined our chant to La Morenita and one man shouted, "Viva Cristo Rey."

I had never joined a march for La Virgen but I really enjoyed to see Mexicans still have faith. 








Sunday, October 7, 2012

I had a dream


I had a dream
October 7, 2012
By: Gina Yoryet Roman




I can't believe I just deleted the only post I managed to do this week!
My plan was to wrap up my day and take some time and relax but
I fell behind as usual trying to decipher my mac since my HP is infected.

Believe is a very touching four letter word like Jennifer Lopez has portrayed it in a few of her interviews: 
"I remain an eternal optimistic about love. I believe in love. To understand that that person is not treating you the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself - if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now."

and

"I think of myself on that day at the studio on Long Island and how insecure I was about my own talent. I just never really gave myself any credit. And because of that, nobody else did either. You mirror what the world mirrors to you."

Her words are very wise and true,  if we don't believe in ourselves, then nobody else will. If we want to receive it, we have to exude nothing but the best. 
Believe is a very powerful world as it is very gratifying to have someone who believes in us but at the end of the day when we come home and look at ourselves in the mirror, and believe is missing, all our efforts go flying out the window.

It is impossible to think of Jennifer Lopez as an insecure woman but she's human and we all go through moments when we lack self-confidence.
Throughout my life, I've been plagued with skepticism and sometimes lack of faith,
Especially in the midst of physical pain that I've been more distraught than ever.

I always question, doubt and challenge everything because that is my nature. Many daunting thoughts are projected through my dreams when I lie awake unable to sleep.
,
But the other night, on October 5th to be exact, amidst all the anxiety, anger and frustration I've been going through, I had a very vivid dream which could mean that my faith is buried deep down in my heart and that I must not leave it or forsake it.

My sleep was interrupted when I saw myself submerged on a book while waiting for my physical therapist to start my session. A man came towards me, tapped me on the shoulder and said this, 
"No te aflijas, tu vas a sanar sola pronto porque eres una mujer muy fuerte y vas a vencer esto como has vencido todos los obstáculos en tu camino."
Do not despair, you will heal soon because you are a very strong woman and you
will pull through this just like you have defeated all the obstacles lying in  your
journey.

He said more but as much as I try to recall, my forgetful and exhausted mind cannot bring that dream back. What bewildered me the most was that his whole face and head were invisible making it impossible for me to lock eyes with him.

What am I to make of that illusion? Where I stand at this moment and time, I ignore it but I want to believe that deep down there is still a spark of faith that I have to hold on to.
Could it mean that I am within a few hours, days or weeks to finally healing?
Maybe I have to learn to master my most powerful tool - my mind and manipulate it to my favor?

Patient is not one of the most descriptive adjectives for me especially now when it is unyielding to keep the spark of faith and believe.

Whatever that vision wants to manifest, I want to take it as a sign that recovery is peering around the corner and that I shall soon rejoice and replenish my mind, body and soul once again to serve the purpose I am meant to accomplish by being whole and healthy and stroll through the less traveled road.

God bless!