A well-lived life

A well lived life.

October 30, 2012

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

I was asked a series of questions in a life expectancy test I took a few weeks ago; according to it, my life span will be very healthy and longevous.

That test had completely absconded out of my mind until this morning while listening to, "A laugh a minute, on screen and in life," an interview about/with the recently deceased essayist, novelist, screenwriter and film director Nora Ephron - she was unbeknownst to me until today (I recently learnt the meaning of unbeknownst and I bumped into it once again in her reading). 

In the interview Nora spoke about her published essay collection about the fears and challenges of getting older called, "I feel bad about my neck and other thoughts on being a woman."

She attested the following in her interview:

I think one of the things that I loved about the book as somebody who's in my 50s, is that I'm feeling a lot of this too, eyeglasses.

NORA EPHRON: Eyeglasses. One of the worst things.

DAVIES: You can't read the instructions on the bottle of pills.

EPHRON: Well, could you ever? By the way, they are so small that I don't know that I could have ever read them. But I didn't need the instructions on the pill bottle...

(LAUGHTER)

DAVIES: It didn't matter.

EPHRON: ...as much when I could read them because there wasn't as much wrong with me. I mean I take so many pills in the morning it's a miracle I have room for breakfast.

DAVIES: But you scatter glasses all over...

EPHRON: But glasses.

DAVIES: You scatter them all over the house and you can never find them, right?

EPHRON: I can never find them. And when I find them, when I - the thing that makes you nuts if you're a reader...

Like glasses.

DAVIES: You scatter them all over the house, and you can never find one.

EPHRON: I can never find them, and when I find them - the thing that makes you nuts, if you're a reader, which I am, is that you've spent your life seeing something you want to read, picking it up and reading it.

DAVIES: Right.

EPHRON: There's no gap between the impulse and the actuality. Now, of course, you have to find your glasses.

DAVIES: It's a process.

EPHRON: And you have lost them. Even if you just went out and bought, like, five pairs of them at the drugstore that don't cost that much so that this won't happen, you can't find the ones you really like, because even if you bought five of the same ones, somehow there's one that's better than the others.

DAVIES: That's perfect.

(LAUGHTER)

EPHRON: And, in my case, you don't even know which glasses you are, because you've got distance. You've got trifocals. You've got bifocals. You've got dark reading glasses. You've got - there are - I was thinking of color-coding my glasses, but then I know I would forget...

DAVIES: The color codes.

EPHRON: ...which was which.

DAVIES: Right.

EPHRON: Because I forget everything.

DAVIES: You avoid mirrors, you say? I don't...

EPHRON: I avoid...

DAVIES: You shouldn't avoid mirrors.

EPHRON: Thank you so much.

DAVIES: You look perfectly nice.

EPHRON: That's very nice of you to say, but the truth is, there does come a certain moment in your life - and I notice, by the way, if I'm following a young person down the street and that young person passes a mirror, I feel the fabulous way he or she turns toward it and kind of smiles...

DAVIES: The dramatic sashay.

EPHRON: ...and checks themselves out, and they know what they're going to see. We don't know. There's a certain moment where you just are terrified about what you're going to see. So you - if you are forced to look in a mirror, you kind of squint, and then gently open your eyes to see if it's safe. Andif it's not, you just close them and walk on.

Nora just like every woman in this planet is daunted by the infinite number of challenges we have to face day by day, yet she was able to shun all the tiny matters lying within and managed to succeed. 

That's what amazes me the most and that is exactly what I will shape one day. When I turn seventy or eighty years old, I will look back, reflect and will humbly pride myself of the legacy I built and the transparent trace left behind with all the personal, professional and spiritual  accomplishments I will have reached.

When I am ninety years old I will tell myself; "This odyssey was very scary but I endured it . I was bent temporarily time after time but was never completely annihilated. I've defeated every battle set my way and I am ready for more. I am the most imperfect perfectionist and I accept it! My accomplishments were reached by me and only me and I didn't have to use others to find my essence and to leave my mark in this world. I am completely ok with having a few extra kilos on me because I was never a super model to begin with. The spots and wrinkles on my face are a part of me and I'll keep them. Ok, it's about time that you stop being so hard on  yourself. Be scared of what lies ahead but I will pull through just fine." 

Not a single minute will I let myself loose because it is not a choice.Therefore when I check out I desire to be loved and well-remembered by those who care about me. 

Aging is sure frightening. However long I am to last, I wish to have a well lived life like that of Nora Ephron's and then I shall rest in peace. 

She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. She smiles when she feels like screaming, and she sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she's happy and laughs when she's afraid. Her love is unconditional. There's only one thing wrong with her. She forgets what she's worth.