Sister Superior Gina

Sister Superior Gina 

October 17, 2012

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

There was a stage in life when it was hard to reveal myself in the mirror and admit that I'd been struggling emotionally for quite some time. (because of family problems, a breakup, issues at work, a car wreck and other matters). 

The blurry images of me lying in bed unable to function ruminate in my mind and lead me to think about what I was asked once:

"What is something you would never become?" The first words that darted out of my mouth were, "I'd never become a nun!" 

At that given point, I was completely disassociated from my religion. While enjoying the vida loca, I had no reason to hold on to my faith since I possessed more, I was young and looked "good,"I had many friends, I didn't need anymore but deep down before going to bed every night, I was entrapped in a turmoil of emotions; anxiety, sadness, emptiness, anger, frustration. 

I was a prisoner of the draining superficial and materialistic aspects most humans suffer from. 

The more I prayed (or attempted to pray) and reach out to God to find serenity, the further out he felt creating a much wider void in my soul.

These words, "I'd never become a nun!" have drummed in my memory for many years especially now that I finally found the long sought peace. Before I had more material possessions, there were more distractions in my life, but I lacked the peace that I now have.

And all of that shows. One cannot hide who he/she really is because sooner or later the real YOU will emerge. I can now reaffirm that after running away from what I was brought up I could not abscond any longer.

Within a ten month span of time, at least six different people have coincided on the same thing. "Have you thought about joining a religious order? Have you ever considered becoming a nun? Don't rule out the possibility of becoming a religious."

Another person called me 'sister superior Gina' because according to him I am good at listening and helping people be at ease.

Even when that thought has inhabited in my mind for some time, I can't say I have heard God's calling just yet. Perhaps down the line somewhere in my journey I will have a face-off with myself and accept it.

What I am aware of, is that all the emotional turbulence I went through, was defeated through praying, making it easy to detach from all the emptiness of society and to lock down the selfish gene lying within even when distraction is pounding on my door aggressively.

I cannot disguise myself under the vanity of endless shopping to have more unnecessary things because materials possessions often clutter my life rather than enrich it (this is Steve Jobs quote). 

Hiding behind layers of makeup isn't me either, concealing my face behind a thick mask is not me.

Too much of anything has always overwhelmed me. Whether it's makeup, material possessions, curves in my body, the clothes, shoes and jewelry I wear, the fragrance I use, the car I drive, my conversations with people, I don't like showing off. 

I much rather stick with The Simple life:
Maybe one day I will accomplish my purpose by being Sister Superior Gina…

That day it would have to be 'Sister Superior Yoryet.'