February 2nd, 2013
By: Gina Yoryet Roman
I just got through with "Las Ballenas Cautivas - The Captive Whales," By Carlos Villanes Cairo, a book I'm reading with my upper intermediate Spanish class. We are barely on chapter 4 but I like to always be on top to clear any arising doubts.
This drama is based on a true story that took place in Barrow Alaska in 1988 under President Ronald Reagan's term.
The story unveils with Yak and his grandfather, two eskimos whom on their way fishing, encounter one of the most tear-jerking narratives ever known about cetaceans - whales.
This heartfelt news put me to tears after learning that the calf, one of three captive whales died in the frozen water due to pneumonia and because of injuries caused by the impenetrable ice while trying to break through.
It only took about ten-seconds for the news to spread through the entire world and for the President to find support from the Soviet Union with their ice-cutting ship. This occurrence drew more than one hundred journalist's attention from the entire world who transmitted their angst when they came into view.
During my reading, I conceptualized the event and felt the pain of those giant creatures amidst their desperate attempt to get out. The ice and the weather were not the only obstacles these giant mammals faced; they were also starving, deprived from their freedom, their skin was full of parasites and pierced with hundreds of sucker fish.
This predicament made me reflect upon what a gym buddy mentioned to me on Thursday. He told me my face looked more composed since my first reappearance three weeks ago. "You never give up, you bounced right back after your surgery, how did you do it?" I replied, "Life is full of setbacks but our only choice is to experience, feel the temporary pain (physical, emotional, etc.), accept, heal, learn, let go, keep going and never look back. "
"Wow, I'm going to tell my buddy (who just went through knee surgery like you) what you just said to me because he is down in the dumps and he just doesn't seem to get himself together," he acknowledged me as he patted me on the back.
I smiled and thought how I was a turmoil of emotions pre and post surgery but prior experiences have taught me to handle things better. I've learnt to internalize everything and show an unruffled face to the world or use other methods of therapy like writing. My sensibility to unexpected experiences has been one of the most difficult obstacles to combat. When I was much younger and even a few years back I cried endlessly unlike now. Affliction is not liberated through tears BUT my body always suffers the consequences.
What I mean is that everything within is currently incongruent on account of all the medication I consumed for months (considering that I hardly ever take ANY antibiotics, I'm all for natural and healthy products).
In accordance to my own understanding, or from what my deceitful mind made me believe, I was NEVER completely downhearted because I didn't cry but there have been some substantial changes:
1) My energy level has been lower than ever, I still cannot manage to make my 5am workouts. I need to start speeding up my metabolism little by little in order to burn fat more rapidly.
2) My transition to healthy and clean eating is happening very slowly.
3) I got my period for the fourth time in eight weeks and it is driving me CRAZY!
4) I noticed a few small spots on my face and they won't fade away.
5) I've been getting easily irritated about everything and annoyed at everyone that I can't even stand myself. LOL!
6) I came down with a sore throat which lead to a cold and achy muscles. This has been ongoing all this week which proves that all of me is not as strong as before. I've been having three or four cups of hot tea with honey and theraflu tea but nothing seems to achieve its purpose.
The doctor inferred that these effects take place when we go through overly stressful situations. Some people react by getting depressed and purging their pain through tears, others internalize the matter straining their body which reacts like mine did. It takes a while for the body to cleanse so I must be patient (patience is NOT one of my virtues). With this said, I have to keep my positive intake after all this, even when this episode has very discomforting emotionally and in spite of being fully aware that I am one step from reaching the light at the end of the tunnel physically.
It feels as though this catch-22 is never ending. I feel incapable of finding the solution to my physical imbalances. It seems that when one problem has been resolved, another one is created and I cannot get a hold of me. I am currently ambushed underneath an unbreakable ice wall but at the same time on a 1-10 count, I am standing on a 7, approaching an 8, therefore I will continue getting distracted with a million things as usual, praying, not look back and carry on to the road of recovery.
Plus I have to be happy for being able to walk once again and one day I'll be able to jog unlike some people who are not as fortunate.
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