NOT the right time or place…
NOR THE right some1
February 19, 2013
By: Gina Yoryet Roman
6:30 pm last night was a time to determine the right time, place, THE someone (Phil my photographer decided ME to be that someone last March), the right outfit, the lighting, the scenario, conservative/non-conservative, au natural or conceal my face under coats of makeup, indoor/outdoor, and the whole nine yards for this afternoon's scheduled photo shoot.
As I got closer to La Quinta Real to meet up Phil, I couldn't avoid feeling antsy when I tried to think of a way to break it all out to him. How will it sound better?
"Phil, I can't do this…at least not now."
"Phil, would you mind holding off till you come back?
"Phil, I am not ready physically, I mean, it's only been four weeks since I made a slow transition to my routine and I am not at my 100%."
"Phil, I am lacking A LOT of self-confidence and on top of that, I am camera shy!"
Ok, yes, let's say I can pose for a camera without a problem but when I have what I am missing right now.
1) Focus
2) Self-confidence (Now is NOT the time to capture my face or body on a book cover. Since March when he laid out the whole scenario, it didn't occur to me that this was the plan from the get-go. I am ok with that but not under these physical circumstances…I will get there in May….That's why I didn't feel any excitement until last night when I was driving home. What!? I am going to be on the cover of a book!? WOW, WOW!
3) I am at a 70% fitness wise, therefore it is impossible for me to focus or to feel self-confident.
The minute I spotted Phil's affable face at the lobby, and especially after we hugged, my nervousness lessened.
He must've read my mind because right after we sat down, he commented, "Gina, I would like to postpone the photo shoot because this trip was a last minute thing, I've been sick with a cold, we are both very tight on time, plus I want to do it right and take my time."
His decision couldn't have suited me any better. "That is completely ok with me Phil because I am actually not physically ready, I am at my lowest ever on a fitness level, actually May is fine with me, that'll give me another 10-12 weeks to feel better about myself."
So my fitness quest shall embark today….
Some gym buddies tell me that I look just fine when I told them about putting off the photo session but they are not aware about what is going on inside, my body is not as trim, I lost most (if not all) of my muscle, strength, and endurance. I am not the same…
My body is in desperate need of my high-rendering crack of dawn routines. It is starting to yearn for the million per hour mornings filled with adrenaline and stamina. I do admit that the longer hours of zzzz's are benefiting me more, being sleep deprived can get crazily overwhelming.
In order to reach my goal, I am contemplating March 1st to start integrating those early a. m. workouts once again. I will have to have tremendous self-discipline in order to do that, right now I cannot get in the right mind to do it.
The only matter I am somewhat concerned about, is my knee. Three months post surgery, it still gets inflamed, the pain is still there and there are a few or a lot of exercises to keep away from until who knows when. I am very apprehensive and doubtful about this whole ordeal that I don't want to push it more but at the same time I keep thinking that perhaps I need to force myself a little more?
In addition to that, I burned my calf the other day when I was icing it. I put the ice bag directly onto my skin and left it on for too long. This is not to be done again! I didn't notice the burn till yesterday and this morning while I showered, it is pretty bad and it looks awful!
With this in hand, that was another big NO for the photo shoot.
It was most definitely NOT meant to be today. The right place and time have not yet approached. The right someone is awaiting but not quite ready just yet!
in another 10-12 weeks, I will have gotten closer to my physical goal so the timing is perfect!
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