Alpha

Alpha

February 10, 2013

By: GIna Yoryet Roman

Time after time when I post, there's not necessarily a set way to do it. The beginning, the main ideas and the ending, are concealed until I start typing. 

The only thing that is planned before hand, is the titles which happen to occur to me as I wake up, when I lie cannot lock eyes at night, when reading a book, in the middle of my workouts, during class or in the middle of my power walks, while I'm chatting with a friend, at the time I'm listening to a lecture, or when I recur to my past memoirs. (There are about 50 titles waiting to be turned into a post right now).  Once I've labeled my post, I get the scenario of what I want to say and from thereon, everything comes naturally. 

"Alpha," was formulated earlier today, when listening to homily at mass. It is a time for advent, rebirth, to rejoice and celebrate birth, 40 week's time devoted to fast, abstain and do penitence in order to cleanse our mind and soul. In the intervening time, a 6-8 month old baby (I am estimating her age as I see her every week with her father) sitting a few benches in front of me, gave testimony to the sermon.

When her sleep was disrupted with the echoing voices of the choir, her frail round green eyes scanned every single corner she could get a glimpse of. The look on her face glassed the enchantment of discovery, her feeble little body was the affidavit of alpha:  beginning, start, initiation, birth,  dawn, celebration, genesis, kickoff, a ceremony marking the victorious beginning of a new stage. The opportunity we are all given when we initiate our journey to embrace life and do the best we can to survive amidst this troubled world where only love can prevail and defeat all the misfortunes of this boisterous humanity.

Today when witnessing alpha through that little girl, it assuaged my mourning heart momentarily. After hearing about one of my best friend's beloved son depart this world way too soon, I was disconsolate for not being able to get a hold of her and for not being with her physically. My wandering mind kept questioning why do things like this have to happen? This particular week my faith has been drifting, I am lacking strength and focus due to this and other unexpected and unplanned events.  I've been walking in a daze unable to find or soothe myself, not even through prayers. In other times, praying has been my best ally, unlike now that I am on denial and when I don't practice what I preach in many areas of life. 

Beholding the victorious beginning of that baby, shifted me to the good 'ole days when all my California girls (all my best friends are from California, except J. D.) and I were always there for each other. N. M., R. M. L., K. E., N. A., Y. K. M., A. M., M. V., and J. D. Our disinterested, understanding, comforting, nonjudgemental, transparent, honest and loyal friendship was born, developed throughout time and it will be eternity lasting. 

We have seen or listened to each other sob endlessly after a lost love, after accomplishing a goal, and laughing till we wet our pants or when we radiantly smile expressing our contentment. Some of us have not yet experienced the miracle of giving life, some have tried endlessly to give birth at no avail, others don't have the least desire to become mothers, some have been close to creating and some of us have been torn apart by the departure of our creation. 

We all wish the best upon each other and that is why I wish K with all the sincerity of my heart to once again hold Alpha tightly in her arms…but this time till the end,  hand in hand with her long-sought lifetime partner. THE one!