When in doubt, Have faith

When in doubt, Have faith

August 25, 2019

By: Gina Yoryet Román

“Fear, uncertainty and discomfort are your compasses towards growth.We must let go of the life we had planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”

Joseph Campbell

When I was twenty-five, I unexpectedly left the corporate world and set off to a solo venture in an unknown world. All those years, albeit all the hardship I was very fulfilled like never before because I had at last found my path doing what I was meant to do – share my knowledge with others by teaching … or so I thought. Seventeen years later once again, I´ve had to abruptly go on another compulsory hiatus. This time another place, being deprived from one of my greatest passions of all time, it feels as though I´ve committed treason against my essence.

Grandad was always right; he could see right through me when I was a young teenage rebel “with many causes.” He always told me, “young lady, you were born to be a teacher.” For the last eighteen months, his voice keeps resonating in my mind during my quantum of solace. I can’t help thinking that I let him down. Not in a million years did I fathom that at this point when I should’ve had it all figured out, I would be stripped from everything I ever accomplished, just like Bernadette Fox, the protagonist of “Where’d You Go Bernadette.”

When I saw the movie, it really hit home. Her persona resonated with mine, as being housebound and unable to create or fulfill my existence through my spiritual passion, it led to my downfall (I want to believe that this is only a temporary setback). Bernadette was once an acclaimed architect who won the MacArthur “Genius” grant because of her best creation. Once her creation was destroyed this led to her emotional demise. The same way she prided herself with her accomplishments, I glorified all of mine. Until this voluntary transition.

What is there to do when situations like this arise? Is there really light at the end of the tunnel? Will there be a better tomorrow? If so, I would like to know the tomorrow of which day. When that tomorrow comes, I want to stare it in the eye and remain there, knowing that there will always be better times. For the time being, when in doubt, keep having faith and moving forward, for failure does not define who we are. Insist, resist, persist, and know deep down in your heart that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope producesfaith, and faith does not disappoint us - Romans 5:4. 

Hence, we have to be cognizant of our faith to keep our world from collapsing, just like Atlas, The Greek ´Primordial Titan bearing the heavens. I pray to be as resilient as Atlas because even though he is trembling, down on his knees, his arms getting feeble, he somehow makes the greatest effort and manages to hold the world with the last of his strength.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

No hay agonía mayor que llevar una historia incontada dentro de ti.”

Maya Angelou

“Nor is there any greater agony than being oblivious to your passion and brushing off your purpose.”

“Ni tampoco hay una agonía mayor que ser ajeno a tu pasión y hacer a un lado tu propósito.”

GYR

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

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Isaiah 40:31