My countdown

My countdown

November 10, 2012

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

The last couple of weeks, twelve, to be precise, have gone in a blur. Amidst physical pain, frustration and denial, the longest interruption in my active lifestyle has felt more like and eternity.

Being in a countdown, 4 days to be exact (my arthrotoscopy is scheduled for Thursday November 15 at 10am), arises anxiety, NOT fear but distress because I am so ready to conclude this episode and retake my routine.

Since the beginning of August, I can count the number of 'incomplete' workouts I've managed because the impending pain on my knee has been a temporary obstacle which has twisted my life completely.

I look at the stranger in the mirror and deep down lies the fit woman I once was and I say to myself, Why did this injury have to throw me off cycle now that I was doing so well? Not only have I lost most of my muscle but all of my strength as well. Despite not having put on a single pound I feel flabby and puny and my jeans are not filled completely with my trim legs.

My shirts fit me tighter around my arms and I don't necessarily like what I see but I continue telling myself that this is only temporary.

There are very slight traces of the muscles on my body but I shall soon rejoice because I am certain that I will bounce back fairly quickly and when that day happens, I will build a mental discipline like never before.

It has not all been bad though, sleeping a little longer in the mornings has suited me quite well…

But I still long for my morning coffee - my early workouts that hyped me up for the entire day.

I miss my strong, fit and healthy body. 

Once I am on the rebound, I will aim for even better!

I'd like to believe that this is only a break that my body had been deprived from when it was in desperate search of a pause.

On November 15 when I set foot in the operation room for the first time in my life, I will be counting the days till I am able to walk towards recovery.

On January 1st of 2013, I will only reminiscence about all these painful memories and I will soon be on the road to betterness.