Alive and Kicking!

Alive and Kicking

November 18, 2012

By: GIna Yoryet Roman

The week before no symptoms of anxiety, stress nor panic appeared. 

Two days prior I was counting every single second to finally put an end to all my physical misery, unable to withstand the pain after a thirty minute slow pace walk.

It was the night before I couldn't  lock eyes thinking what it'd be like the next am once I set foot in the slaughterhouse for the first time ever.

Believe it or not, not once did I lose it because I knew all along that  the worst was over with and that I'd be in good hands. Given this fact, on Thursday, I arose at 5:30 and decided that I wanted to look good! I mean, it is not like I get a chance to have a surgery every day so I put my rollers on, got all dolled up with a cute workout outfit; a sweater and sweat pants and did my makeup nicely and carefully.

I got to the hospital at exactly 6:50, registered and waited patiently for the nurse to come get me. At 7:40-7:45 she got there and escorted me to the operation room, she had me put a robe on, take everything, I mean EVERYTHING off! 

I said, "Oh no, lady! Why would those have to go? Everything can go BUT MY precious undies!" 

Really!? I was mortified because my privacy had just been invaded and I sat on the bed complaining silently, "Come on people, it is just a knee surgery, why do I have to strip off all of my clothes!?"

Needles to say, the undies had to go! :(

When the doctor arrived, they pulled me into the surgery room immediately, the

anesthesiologist with another young (and very handsome ) doctor grabbed me and shot me on the spine to put me out with local anesthesia. 

It must've been very strong because I instantly dozed off, not completely though. I could still hear voices very far away, amongst the two surgeons performing the surgery, the anesthesiologists, the young doctor, and all the nurses whirling around in the room made me feel a little nervy and I could hear a voice ask, "What happened to this woman?" Another voice replied, "She was a marathon runner."

The next thing I recall was my feeble and broken voice pleading for another blanket  because I couldn't stop shivering being in that ice box of an operation room.

It all happened at the blink of an eye, when I was put back in the room I wanted to pee and after many failed attempts to get up (my legs were still numb from the effects of anesthesia) I gave up and called the nurse to see what the next step would be.

She asked, "Would you like me to bring a bed pan?" I abruptly responded, "No way, I'll just hold off a little longer!" 

That was NOT a good idea so when I could't hold it anymore, I said to her, "Fine, bring the bed pan in."

It turns out that my bladder was immobile because of the anesthesia!! 

So the nurse said to me, "Let me ask the doctor and see what we need to do."

The next thing I knew, is that the nurse came back with the young and good looking doctor holding a catheter on his hand. 

I naively asked him, "What is that for?" Stupid question, dumb moment, ha, ha!

He said, "open your legs." 

I mumbled, "Oh, no!"

He replied, "I know this is embarrassing for you but we have to help you get all the fluid out ok?" 

My face turned a million colors because to make it even worse I got my period the day before! 

I kept avoiding to look at him in the eye, I instead stared at the ceiling asking myself, "Why did I have to get the youngest and best looking doctor!?"

That had to be the worst episode of this whole thing!

Later on, my therapist, the priest at my church and some friends stopped by to visit.

The first thing they all implied, "Gina You look great, it doesn't even look like you just came out of the surgery room!"

My strategy to look good worked after all, huh! 

I came home the following day and I've been here since. As hyped us as I always am, I am going crazy but I know for a fact that this is only temporary.

I am really looking forward to starting therapy and getting re-started with my normal routine.

I will always remember these moments and I DO NOT want to ever have another surgery! Even though I jokingly said that while I was at it, I'd get a face and but lift, a lipo, a boob job, the whole nine yards that nobody would even recognize me!

What I learned: 

To not be a deaf and blind tenant in my own body and appreciate and comform with what my engine can do. But more than anything, to accept that I've been there, done that, my moment is done so now just work to maintain a lifestyle and cherish my temple.

What I witnessed: 

I am amazed to see what the female body can do so from now on, accept it

for the creator it's meant to be, not in a vain and superficial aspect but visualize its purpose and be thankful for it. 

What I take from this experience:

At the end of the day, health is what really matters. Our most valuable asset is our body (and health). If we are not healthy, we are not complete so we cannot give or do our best. So we have to invest in our wholeness.

What I gained: I gained a new friend (my therapist) who we are already planning to go dancing once I am reloaded. 

All along there have been many angels called family and friends who care about me and who supported me with their unlimited well wishes, prayers, intentions and warm words. 

Thank you!