Another catch-22

Another catch-22

February 2nd, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

I just got through with "Las Ballenas Cautivas - The Captive Whales," By Carlos Villanes Cairo, a book I'm reading with my upper intermediate Spanish class. We are barely on chapter 4 but I like to always be on top to clear any arising doubts.

This drama is based on a true story that took place in Barrow Alaska in 1988 under President Ronald Reagan's term. 

The story unveils with Yak and his grandfather, two eskimos whom on their way fishing, encounter one of the most tear-jerking narratives ever known about cetaceans - whales. 

This heartfelt news put me to tears after learning that the calf, one of three captive whales died in the frozen water due to pneumonia and because of injuries caused by the impenetrable ice while trying to break through. 

It only took about ten-seconds for the news to spread through the entire world and for the President to find support from the Soviet Union with their ice-cutting ship. This occurrence drew more than one hundred journalist's attention from the entire world who transmitted their angst when they came into view.

During my reading, I conceptualized the event and felt the pain of those giant creatures amidst their desperate attempt to get out. The ice and the weather were not the only obstacles these giant mammals faced; they were also starving, deprived from their freedom, their skin was full of parasites and pierced with hundreds of sucker fish.

This predicament made me reflect upon what a gym buddy mentioned to me on Thursday. He told me my face looked more composed since my first reappearance three weeks ago. "You never give up, you bounced right back after your surgery, how did you do it?" I replied, "Life is full of setbacks but our only choice is to experience, feel the temporary pain (physical, emotional, etc.), accept, heal, learn, let go, keep going and never look back. " 

"Wow, I'm going to tell my buddy (who just went through knee surgery like you) what you just said to me because he is down in the dumps and he just doesn't seem to get himself together," he acknowledged me as he patted me on the back. 

I smiled and thought how I was a turmoil of emotions pre and post surgery but prior experiences have taught me to handle things better. I've learnt to internalize everything and show an unruffled face to the world or use other methods of therapy like writing. My sensibility to unexpected experiences has been one of the most difficult obstacles to combat. When I was much younger and even a few years back I cried endlessly unlike now. Affliction is not liberated through tears BUT my body always suffers the consequences.

What I mean is that everything within is currently incongruent on account of all the medication I consumed for months (considering that I hardly ever take ANY antibiotics, I'm all for natural and healthy products).

In accordance to my own understanding, or from what my deceitful mind made me believe, I was NEVER completely downhearted because I didn't cry but there have been some substantial changes:

1) My energy level has been lower than ever, I still cannot manage to make my 5am workouts. I need to start speeding up my metabolism little by little in order to burn fat more rapidly. 

2) My transition to healthy and clean eating is happening very slowly.

3) I got my period for the fourth time in eight weeks and it is driving me CRAZY!

4) I noticed a few small spots on my face and they won't fade away.

5) I've been getting easily irritated about everything and annoyed at everyone that I can't even stand myself. LOL!

6) I came down with a sore throat which lead to a cold and achy muscles. This has been ongoing all this week which proves that all of me is not as strong as before. I've been having three or four cups of hot tea with honey and theraflu tea but nothing seems to achieve its purpose. 

The doctor inferred that these effects take place when we go through overly stressful situations. Some people react by getting depressed and purging their pain through tears, others internalize the matter straining their body which reacts like mine did. It takes a while for the body to cleanse so I must be patient (patience is NOT one of my virtues). With this said, I have to keep my positive intake after all this,  even when this episode has very discomforting emotionally and in spite of being fully aware that I am one step from reaching the light at the end of the tunnel physically.

It feels as though this catch-22 is never ending. I feel incapable of finding the solution to my physical imbalances. It seems that when one problem has been resolved, another one is created and I cannot get a hold of me. I am currently ambushed underneath an unbreakable ice wall but at the same time on a 1-10 count, I am standing on a 7, approaching an 8, therefore  I will continue getting distracted with a million things as usual, praying, not look back and carry on to the road of recovery. 

Plus I have to be happy for being able to walk once again and one day I'll be able to jog unlike some people who are not as fortunate. 

Loving & embracing my temple

Loving & embracing my temple

January 31st, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

I wanted to write a long post about all the reasons why to love my temple (my body) in spite of not being at 100% but I couldn't get myself together.

I stormed back from the gym at 8pm.

I got a last minute brief editing work which I just got through with.

I was preparing a class I have first thing in the morning.

My thoughts are all over the place because there are a few issues lined up this weekend so I can't focus completely. The clock keeps scrutinizing me (it is now 10:45). There goes my failed goal to be in bed by 10pm.

Therefore, I will keep this as short as possible. Next time I will go into further depth 

The last twenty-one days have been a slow transition to shape and strengthen my body. I can sense more normality in my life due to all the moving around just like before. Traces of dormant muscles are starting to re-appear, I am sleeping better and longer hours, I am eating cleaner and I am more enthused physically every day that goes by. I am more confident and a little more energized. I still have not had enough energy to make my crack of dawn work outs yet though.

I left the gym full of energy after I chitchatted with the manager who asked me if I had any experience in Health and Fitness because there's a new gym inaugurating in April or May and they will need experts to train their staff or to give cross training classes. "Would you be interested?" She asked. My response was, "I may not fit the profile, you will more likely look for younger girls." to which she replied, "not necessarily." 

We will schedule a meeting before March to see how we can team up! Wow! I am radiating happiness right now!

Another friend of mine suggested a similar project (that has been lingering in my mind for quite some time now).

A current description of me would NOT be 'fit,' but I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder, otherwise she wouldn't have asked.

In the same manner, a gym buddy who is very polite and honest, always tells me I am a genuine athlete who is in incredible shape. This was very flattering and boosting. 

These comments are my fuel considering that I still lack confidence (I do feel lighter but I haven't reached my goal yet). I don't dare snap any photos yet because it is consternating to reveal all the flab.

According to my standards, I am in my worst shape EVER!

In this arena I have always been very competitive, as a result, I don't allow anything or anyone to set boundaries upon me. Injuries can put a momentary halt but the combative me will never subside.

On the other hand, I need to embrace my temple for what it is not for the way it looks;  love, cherish, admire, and accept it, even the littlest scar as they are physical signs that I am Victory. 

 In regards to this self-confidence matter, men have it A LOT easier than women. Why? Because we have double layer of fat to protect our babies when we are pregnant and for numerous reasons. In general men have more self-acceptance than women. Men don't view their bodies (or anything else) as thoroughly as women. Men are more functional beings, they're more concerned about what their bodies can perform. Unlike us, women contemplate our body and  the zillion ways to decorate it…

Function vs. form

To women, almost 100% of the other women are fat.

To men, almost anything looks hot. LOL!

While women agonize about having TONS of extra pounds, and the pressure of the media doesn't mary it any better, men seem to enjoy it and appreciate it because the standards are a lot less smoother on them. 

Whatever differences between male and female, we as ladies have to care and nurture our body appropriately to feel happier and healthier but more importantly, shoot for acceptance because our temple will be our faithful companion from hereon. 

I got this from Natural Health Newsletter, an online health magazine I signed up for.

I do hereby declare that from this day forward I will choose to accept my body in its natural size and shape. I will celebrate all that my body can do for me each and every day. I will treat my body with respect, giving it enough rest, refueling it with nutritious food, exercising it regularly, listening to what it needs, and responding accordingly. I will choose to resist our society's pressures to judge myself and others based on body weight, shape, or size. I will believe that my self-esteem and identity come from within. And I will affirm that I am worthy and lovable, right now, exactly as I am!"

It is NOT tragic

It is NOT tragic

January 29, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

While I did a quick scan of the news earlier today, I bumped into an article about Dakota Fanning's interview for Glamour magazine. I frankly didn't read the whole interview, the only segment that captured my eye was her intake on relationships. 

"I don't really date," I have a weird vision of relationships because my parents have known each other since second grade, and they got married right out of college. I've always thought that's what it's supposed to be like, and if it's not, then I don't want to waste my time on it. Even when I was 14, I was like, "I'm not going to marry this person, what's the point doing it?"

What I admire about Dakota, is her entire outlook, focusing on the whole picture as opposed to living a limitless life, pleasuring her youth and jumping from one set of arms to another without giving herself a chance to assimilate things and allowing herself to rebound.

I was not as determined as her when I was 18, I wanted to meet boys, go out with many of them and "fall in love, fall out of love and fall right back in love.

As of three, four years ago,  the more I pondered on dating and relationships, the less I understood the matter and it made me reassure what I always believed deep down. Dating is sort of like going to bed within the first or second encounter and sharing one another's body's occasionally until "THE" one is met. 

After one trial and error and another, I turned into a more confident woman who slowly started developing more boundaries to avoid putting unnecessary time into unsuccessful relationships. I say no right off the bat when I know that is not for me. Now that I am more at ease, I've evolved into a more selfish woman (This is perhaps not good and I am not proud to admit it, but I am) in many ways.

I long for my episodes of solitariness because that is when I get to know myself more, I do the things that I want to do and so forth.

Love and relationships are reflexions that randomly navigate through my mind; I believe in love and relationships but more so, I firmly believe in a monogamous life-lasting relationship, the way I was taught, the way I witnessed granny Hal and Mary Lou's marriage born and thrive till death did them apart. 

These life learning lessons made me take marriage seriously and NOT commit if I felt with the heart that that specific man at that particular moment was not the one. 

It is now very clear to me that a man should do his manly job at all times respect, provide, protect, listen, understand, guide his family and be a good example to us, love me and my body for what it can create, not for the way it looks, teach our children morals, values, respect, ethics, patience, loyalty, compassion and integrity in order for them to pass all of this on to future generations. 

And I will play my womanly role by listening, serving, comforting, being patient, nurturing, being a role model to the humans I will bear. 

These reciprocated gifts will be saved till l I meet "THE" one, if it is meant to be. What I know for sure is that I will NOT waste my time dating one man after another only for the mere fact of not being alone. I no longer believe in dating. 

I don't want to ever give room for the gap of lonesomeness to widen more. I don't want to use a man who I don't love to fill that emptiness. I'd rather be alone (but not lonely) because love can be manifested in many ways and there are many lonely souls hungry for love in this planet

Moenia

Moenia 

January 27, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

Listening to British Dave Gahan, vocalist of Depeche Mode and Mexican Alfonso Pichardo, vocalist of Moenia, is like listening to the same person. Since Moenia emerged in the 90's, they have been compared with Depeche Mode because of the similarity in the two vocalists' voices. For my taste they are both very highly acclaimed musicians but I will keep Pichardo's voice because it is very deep, clear and manly unlike any other.

His firm voice is what lured me to go see him play at one of their concerts at some point but I was never able to for one thing or another until last night. A few weeks back I was filled with adrenaline when I found out about them coming and so I immediately told myself that now was the time.

I called a good friend of mine who shares a lot of the same likes and dislikes and so we did it!  Moenia played stunningly well. Forty year old Alfonso Pichardo is NOT only a physically gorgeous man but  he's also got charisma, an enchanting voice, energy and enthusiasm that make any woman drivel and drool over him. I could listen to him all day long. 

That is why I enjoyed every second of the long awaited event, except for them not playing long enough. I kept pleading with all my might for them to sing "Juegos de Amor, Llegaste a Mi and Sufre Conmigo," at no avail. Although those three songs were not sung, I have no major complaints whatsoever since they tuned, "Regreso a Casa," and "Quisiera Adivinar," which are amongst my favorites. 

In the 90's when I first listened to, "Estabas ahí, Terminales, Déjame Entrar, Color Melancolía, and No Importa que el sol se murex," I immediately became infatuated with the unknown voice. When I found out about this group called Moenia, I was not curious to find the meaning of the word Moenia until someone asked me a few weeks ago.

I don't quite get why they chose this name but that's what matters the least.

Here's the significance: Mural in latin.

According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: is a Latin phrase that means outside the walls or outside the walls of the city. The phrase is commonly used un reference to the original attributes of a building, usually a church, where it was built outside the origin city walls. Hence, when a city expands over time, a church which was originally outside the walls might end up in the center of the larger city.

As the music lovers we are and sharing the same taste, V, and I concluded that there are a few concerts lined up: Miguel Bose (I went to see him once before), Shakira (I got a chance to go see her play in Oakland), Paulina Rubio and Pepe Aguilar.

Turbulence

Turbulence

January 25, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

Agitation, bluster, commotion, disorder, disturbance, fight, battle, struggle, fracas, frenzy, fury, havoc, tumult, turmoil uproar, confusion, fuss, perturbation, chaos, disquiet, doubt, anxiety, insecurity, indecision, self-doubt, uncertainty, skepticism, vacillation, irritation, torrent; these negative emotions hit me at once all through the week but more so this morning as a number of events didn't turn up the way they were originally planned.

Like most people, I abhor bringing out my vulnerable side but I MUST release all the bad energy. 

1) I woke up with a sore throat, raspy voice, a runny nose and felt light headed the entire day.

2) One or two projects didn't comply with the set deadline due to unexpected circumstances. That only added on to my irritation because they have been put off since my physical health stumbled. 

3) I took a test to improve my professional profile but according to the chief editor who checked my work, I didn't pass. I was infuriated because there wasn't a chance to rebuttal that matter. I argued (I only take an issue further when I know I am right and there's backup information to prove my point, plus an editor colleague of mine double checked my work and corroborated what I already knew ). And that is exactly what I did, asked to let me prove them wrong, the disagreement was over-with shortly after. Needless to say, drop it, accept it, move on and forget it.

4) About 10 days ago, a client of mine asked me for an interpretation quote for an event taking place in February. Three days later after the third time I called at no avail, she finally emailed me and implied that they don't have a budget to pay for my services so this made me doubt my knowledge, skills and expertise. I've been questioning myself since Monday and wondering if it was really that or if she was not too happy with my previous work. Deep down it is only my mind torturing me because she wouldn't have called, I tend to dramatize. As the chicken little I tend to become, (Chicken Little is a folk tale with a moral in the form of a cumulative tale about a chicken who believes the world is coming to an end). Chicken Little's famous phrase, "The sky is falling!" clearly shows a hysteria or the mistaken belief that disaster is forthcoming. 

5) Another potential client requested an interpretation quote for a three day congress in February but she has not returned my call.

6) Another client I've quoted three other times before, requested a 145 page procedure manual. Three days later he has not returned my call which I didn't react too well since those things have to get done as of  yesterday.

7) I've been playing phone and email tags with another potential client who needs some personal documents translated. It just seemed like our agendas didn't coincide. Perhaps next week we'll have better luck!

8) I bought two tickets for Moenia's concert tomorrow night which almost made my thrill dissipate since ticket master was having some difficulties. I called yesterday and got it done without a problem until I picked them up today. The sales person on the phone neglected to let me know my cc is/was necessary when I picked up the tickets. After impatiently waiting for more than fifteen minutes I stormed out infuriated because my time was very limited and I was very behind as usual. 

9) Yesterday, I had an unexpected visitor who stirred fear. Not because I didn't want to see him but because there is a lot at stake…. every time I think of him, I loathe his circumstances and I wonder if his struggle is worth while. 

10) On my way to pick up the tickets for the second time, there was a shooting on plain daylight. I was walking right by cameras, journalists, armed police officers and federal agents. A vehicle was following another one to kidnap the victim. I must have been too caught up on my own misadventure that I was not fearful in the least. While I waited for the traffic to flow again, the meddling journalist I am/was,  got the full scope out of the store security man. LOL!

11) The project manager at the company who I do editing/translation work sometimes is out on vacation so I have not received any work from them in about two weeks. I am going bananas, cannot wait till I've got my momentum once again.

All these irritable little obstacles aligned to make me feel YUCK! until I went to church to help cleanse all the negative thoughts and feelings. Now I shall go to bed and rest without any concern because I am very assertive that when it all else fails, praying will be my most unyielding emotional sustenance….

and tomorrow will be a better day.

I Have a Dream

I Have a Dream

January 21st, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

Obama's second term inaugural address made me reminiscence about one of the most influential African American leaders in U. S. history…

Martin Luther King, Jr. who fought incessantly for his people's rights till he was lamentably murdered on April 4, 1968. 

As President Obama proudly stood in the White House laying out a battle plan for the next four years, he made MLKJr's dream become reality.

Through his famous "I have a dream" speech MLKJr., envisioned his desires stir the hearts of not only a whole nation but an entire world. That illusion has been alive since and millions of African Americans and minorities in the U. S. have witnessed it. 

Today during Obama's second term inaugural address, MLKJr's face was outlined in my mind. The commotion of millions of people during such important event spread the euphoria upon my spirit and I immediately started daydreaming and came up with this idea of MY dream….

I have a dream that we will unite and be a healthier and cleaner world.

I have a dream that Mexico and the U. S. come together and lower their overweight and obesity rate.

I have a dream that our society stopped being sluggish and get moving.

I have a dream that we have a thin, healthy and properly nurtured country as opposed to an overweight and under-nurtured world.

I have a dream that we had a healthier and more aware society.

I have a dream that we stopped eating mindlessly, compulsively, impulsively, unnecessarily and emotionally.

I have a dream that we passed on clean eating habits to the many generations to come.

I have a dream that we stopped looking for excuses and blaming our genetics, family and lifestyle to reach our physical goal.

I have a dream that we ate smarter and cleaner.

I have a dream that people stopped dieting and held on to a healthy eternity.

I have a dream that we were stronger-willed, more disciplined and adamant to make health our priority and slowly converted it into a lifestyle.  

I have a dream that we treated our body like a temple.

I have a dream that we loved our bodies for what they are meant to accomplish and not forget about vanity issues. 

I have a dream that we stopped automatically assuming that working at an office and/or behind a desk/computer is the equivalent to becoming overweight and obese.

I have a dream that men and women competed more amongst one another to become healthier.

I have a dream that junk food disappeared.

I have a dream that there weren't so many social events to avoid stuffing my face with whatever I can get my hands on.

I have a dream that my emotions were always stable to better control them and not shelter myself on low quality food.

I have a dream that health and fitness is NOT classified by gender, color, age, social class, or life's circumstances.

I wish everyone sheltered themselves in a positive way like in: God, family, work and health and fitness

I have a dream that people ate when they are hungry, not when they are deceived by their tricky mind.

I have a dream that everyone had more incredible self-control with health matters.

I have a dream that one of my Victoria's-Victories is to set foot in this world in April 2013.

I have a dream that everyone is blessed with focus, amazing mental power, discipline, persistence, resistance and incredible healthy habits.

I have a dream that women stopped using motherhood as an excuse

I have a dream that people didn't excuse themselves with age, injuries and illnesses and not be distant with exercising.

I have a dream that tonight I will once again dream about my Victories

I have a dream that I will write, read and learn about health and fitness till I drop. 

I have a dream that I will NEVER tire and that I will be the hero and protagonist of that story and change the universe's life…

Romans 12:6-16

Romans 12:6-16

King James Version (KJV)

Fratres: habentes autem donationes secundum gratiam quae data est nobis differentes sive prophetiam secundum rationem fidei sive ministerium in ministrando sive qui docet in doctrina qui exhortatur in exhortando qui tribuit in simplicitate qui praeest in sollicitudine qui miseretur in hilaritate dilectio sine simulatione odientes malum adherentes bono caritatem fraternitatis invicem diligentes honore invicem praevenientes

 sollicitudine non pigri spiritu ferventes Domino servientes spe gaudentes in tribulatione patientes orationi instantes necessitatibus sanctorum communicantes hospitalitatem sectantes benedicite persequentibus benedicite et nolite maledicere gaudere cum gaudentibus flere cum flentibus

 id ipsum invicem sentientes non alta sapientes sed humilibus consentientes.

⁶ Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;

⁷ Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;

⁸ Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.

⁹ Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.

¹⁰ Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

¹¹ Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;

¹² Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

¹³ Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

¹⁵ Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

¹⁶ Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.