Spilling the beans too soon

Spilling the beans too soon

can be unfavorable

September 28, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

I was very demotivated to do the 5k Color Run tomorrow for the following reasons:

1. I am not physically ready because of the involuntary discontinuity with my workout routines.
2. I can’t seem to get my mojo back. When I feel like I am reaching physical wellness and getting stronger, I am forced to pause again.
3. I am lacking a running buddy and I really long for that.
4. I am very low on energy and very sleepy because I am no longer consuming caffeine whatsoever. 
5. Things didn’t go as planned today; I missed a very important sporting event which I was invited to attend as press to interview the Organizer Committee and a couple of competitors. First, I came down with a sore throat, my whole body is achy and I feel as if I were coming up with a cold. I went to the gym for the first time in eight days after picking up my lab results and taking them to my doctor to get her “ok,” to proceed with my workouts. This super light grandma style routine left my body a little sore. I don't want to even picture what it will be like post forty, fifty, sixty, YIKES! When I came home I did some cleaning, had a conference meeting and took a nap. I meant to take a very short one but I ended up sleeping for almost three hours which made me almost miss the registration and package pickup deadline.

This brings back to mind those day/s filled with enthusiasm when I told a few people about this long awaited event as well as the other event that I was to attend today. The issue was that I let the cat out of the bag too soon. I talked about it and the outcome is a tired, overwhelmed and injured me. 

I have learnt from other people that it is NEVER a good idea to jump the gun too soon because that will jinx the whole situation. I need to teach myself to remain discreet until after things take place. 

But I became more bewildered by this fact after reading a few books and information about the law of attraction. Some sources clearly state that when you really want something, you make it happen with the vibes you attract. 

There’s an interesting quote by acclaimed writer Paulo Cohelo which says, 

“When you really want something to happen, the whole world conspires to help you achieve it.” 

What does it mean exactly? To grab pen and paper and jot down all your desires? Tell close friends, family, relatives and all the people surrounding you? Write an “invisible note, leave it in God’s mailbox and pray about it? Have an open heart conversation with God and the virgin and ask them personally? 

I don’t know the answers to this and a lot of other things but I did find out what happens when we spill the beans beforehand.

Keep Your Goals to Yourself, Derek Sivers

“Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal. 

For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it. Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay? Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it. Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do. Imagine their congratulations and their high image of you. Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud? Don't you feel one step closer already, like it's already becoming part of your identity?

Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut, because that good feeling now will make you less likely to do it. Repeated psychology tests have proven that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen. Any time you have a goal, there are some steps that need to be done, some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it. Ideally, you would not be satisfied until you had actually done the work. But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it, psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality." The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done. And then, because you felt that satisfaction, you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary. (Laughter) So this goes against the conventional wisdom that we should tell our friends our goals, right -- so they hold us to it.

So, let's look at the proof. 1926, Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology, called this "substitution." 1933, Vera Mahler found, when it was acknowledged by others, it felt real in the mind. 1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this and in 2009, he did some new tests that were published.

It goes like this: 163 people across four separate tests -- everyone wrote down their personal goal. Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room, and half didn't. Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work that would directly lead them towards their goal, but they were told that they could stop at any time. Now, those who kept their mouths shut worked the entire 45 minutes, on average, and when asked afterwards, said that they felt that they had a long way to go still to achieve their goal. But those who had announced it quit after only 33 minutes, on average, and when asked afterwards, said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.

So, if this is true, what can we do? Well, you could resist the temptation to announce your goal. You can delay the gratification that the social acknowledgement brings, and you can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the doing. But if you do need to talk about something, you can state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction, such as, "I really want to run this marathon, so I need to train five times a week and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"

So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal, what will you say? (Silence) Exactly, well done.”