I just typed up a whole book but it erased so I won’t spend too much time doing the whole thing again, I´ll only point out a few important things about Alianza de Mujeres “Alliance of women” a meeting I attended last Thursday and I’ll share some words that will help everyone reflect.
Looking back at the 70’s, 80,s and recent years women’s right weren’t promoted as much as they’ve been the last few years. The Mexican government is now encouraging women to work out of their homes and reach their professional goals. Even though we still have a long way to go, things have evolved slowly but surely and I am very fortunate to be part of life now, I don’t know what it would’ve been like for me many years ago. The closest I can get is to older women telling stories of how repressed they were when they were growing up in the 1930's, 1940's 1950's.
As a woman I know that we have to face a thousand challenges in and out of our homes every day and Alianza de Mujeres is there to walk with us hand in hand and show us a world full of opportunities for us. Our guest Licenciado Jorge Aguilar Sahagun took the risk to talk to us about many advantages and disadvantages of being a woman. I have to say that he was very blunt but I’d rather him be straight forward than lie. Not every woman there agreed though, I could see some heads nodding in shock and disagreement but he made it clear from the beginning that he wasn’t there to please anyone or much less to befriend anyone.
One of the comments most of the ladies there liked was when he said that many people tend to stay stuck in a comfort zone, we are full of good intentions but we leave everything for “mañana” tomorrow, we have endless excuses for everything.
I can recall many more things but it’s getting late and I’ve had a long day today, plus (excuses, excuses, excuses) I can’t miss my morning run tomorrow so I have to get my beauty sleep and re-energize.
“Comfort zone”
I used to have a “comfort zone”
Where I knew I couldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busy work
Were really more like jail.
I longed so much, to do the things
I’ve never done before,
But I stayed inside my comfort zone”
And paced the same old floor.
I said it didn’t matter
That I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things
Like houses, freedom and such.
I claimed to be busy with
The things inside the “Zone”
But deep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.
I couldn’t let my life go by
Just watching others win!
I held my breath and stepped outside
To let the chances begin!
I took a step and with new strength
I’ve never felt before,
I kissed my “Comfort Zone” good-bye
And closed and locked the door!
If you are in a “comfort Zone”
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile;
Success is there for YOU!!
Somebody is always winning
It might as well be YOU!!
Spirituality, family, work and business ethics, health and fitness, charity work, reading, playing with words, reflecting and embracing the simplicity of life...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Culture Shock
If you are expecting life and everything in Guadalajara to be exactly the same as it is in your own country, you need to wake up and smell the coffee because that is not going to happen in a million years. When moving to another country you have to be prepared mentally, physically, culturally and you have to be well aware that there will be many ups and downs and disappointments to face. At times you will feel like taking the first plane back home but it is only a matter of adjusting so don’t be intimidated and take each strike as it comes.
Going as far back as uhm, last night. I was supposed to go out to dinner with a friend but he flaked out on me, he didn’t call to cancel, he didn’t text, didn’t send an email, nothing. I am not surprised because it has happened numerous times with everyone not only him. By now my mind is set to not get disappointed even though that is one of my biggest pet peeves because I play by the same rules with everyone, I don’t like doing anything I don’t like people doing to me. I am not upset because I wasn’t expecting anything, it was about meeting new people since I am always enslaved to work and establishing a friendship relationship, perhaps I should’ve made it clear but it slipped out like many things. By now I am used to coming across unpunctual, flaky, uninterested or just plain rude people who always tell me to relax and wonder why foreigners always go “by the book” What makes things worse is that most of those flakes call a few days or weeks later as if nothing had happened asking to meet again only so they can get another chance to leave you all dressed up with nowhere to go.
All those small differences are not such a huge culture shock to me because of my Mexican side, I’d say I am more Mexican than tamales and pozole but that is not what a friend of mine thinks, he once said to me, “You are very Mexican, only your last name and the color of your skin” and he laughed. I totally disagree with that, the fact of being dark skinned doesn’t guarantee that I am Mexican. When it comes to being on time when meeting someone I am very respectful with their time unlike many tapatios. I’ve experienced all these informalities ever since I can remember. The first person I know of doing that was my father, I despised it every time he’d say “dame 5 minutos,” give me 5 minutes. I later learned that for Mexicans 5 minutos can mean an hour, two, three, four, however long they may please. So now when I meet someone at any given moment I ask them, “are we meeting at 5pm (puntualidad Mexicana) real time or Mexico time?” only to clarify because I don’t like to waste my time sitting around waiting for people and I cannot play their game, I can never be late unless something goes wrong. Another few phrases I will always rant and rave about are, “ya veremos – we’ll see, relajate – relax, para que hacer planes? haber que sale – Why make plans?, we’ll play it by ear and see what happens.
When I came to Guadalajara I was under the wrong perception, I thought I’d forget my English because nobody spoke it here but little did I know that I was completely wrong! I use English for everything, teach, translate, write, I speak it with everyone. Sometimes I knock on my neighbor’s door to chat with her in Spanish because all my friends speak English! I tried to befriend a few people here but they were simply not interested. At the beginning I thought it was me, maybe I wasn’t projecting the right message so I discussed it with other foreigners and it’s happened to them as well I got a better scope of the whole enchilada. People are simply not interested in letting outsiders in “their circle.” Some say that it is culture, that they feel safer because there is so much crime happening in Mexico nowadays. Do they even come close to realizing that it’s human beings who make culture? It seems as if they wear a mask called culture and they hide behind it to dump all their excuses and insecurities behind.
I used to get extremely infuriated especially one time when my accountant was quite late one night when he was supposed to pick up some invoices at 7pm. I felt as if he was playing with my time and like if I wasn’t being taken seriously. 7:15, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, and 9:30 he didn’t show up. Finally at 10:00 the door bell rang and it was him! Needless to say I almost passed out because I was very angry. I picked up the receiver and told him to come back another day. He was not happy at all but at that point I didn't care.
I remember an American friend saying once, “I am becoming too much like the people here” when we were supposed to meet one weekend and he totally vanished, he didn't call me until the following Monday. I told him, to hell with that shit! that is not an excuse, I am Mexican and I don’t care how long I’ve been here or who does that, I always go by my rules when it comes to these things.
As I get older I’ve become more selective with many things in life, one of them is choosing who I spend time with and surround myself with serious and respectful people because it is my time being put at stake, it is very valuable and nobody will give it back to me.
This also reminds me of the institution where I did volunteer work last year and I’m still working on a project with them. I always wanted to have a library at my place but I thought, “why not do it for somebody else?”
I made all the arrangements, talked to bookstores to donate us books, finally I got the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro) to do it, they agreed immediately but the institution is always making excuses so the project keeps being put off, it’s been 8 months now and I feel powerless because it is not up to me. About a week and a half ago I emailed the coordinator to ask if the books had been delivered but she hasn’t replied. I am very disappointed because that is one of my lifetime projects and I had set myself a time goal. It’s hard for me to cope and I will never accept it but at the same time I can’t let them get to me.
Something many Mexicans as well as myself have to learn to say is “NO.” people here are frightened to say no, they always say, “yes, yes, yes!” to everything even if they are well aware that they can’t compromise. So they rather say yes to avoid hurting peoples' feelings but it is ironic and contradicting, they rather flake out, not call, not show up. Do they realize that is even worse? They always say it’s a “culture” thing. Once again they hide behind their masks. I’d much rather people tell me “no” to something they don’t want to do instead of lying but I can’t change people, change starts within and I am the only one I have control over so I don’t waste my time with people like that.
Going as far back as uhm, last night. I was supposed to go out to dinner with a friend but he flaked out on me, he didn’t call to cancel, he didn’t text, didn’t send an email, nothing. I am not surprised because it has happened numerous times with everyone not only him. By now my mind is set to not get disappointed even though that is one of my biggest pet peeves because I play by the same rules with everyone, I don’t like doing anything I don’t like people doing to me. I am not upset because I wasn’t expecting anything, it was about meeting new people since I am always enslaved to work and establishing a friendship relationship, perhaps I should’ve made it clear but it slipped out like many things. By now I am used to coming across unpunctual, flaky, uninterested or just plain rude people who always tell me to relax and wonder why foreigners always go “by the book” What makes things worse is that most of those flakes call a few days or weeks later as if nothing had happened asking to meet again only so they can get another chance to leave you all dressed up with nowhere to go.
All those small differences are not such a huge culture shock to me because of my Mexican side, I’d say I am more Mexican than tamales and pozole but that is not what a friend of mine thinks, he once said to me, “You are very Mexican, only your last name and the color of your skin” and he laughed. I totally disagree with that, the fact of being dark skinned doesn’t guarantee that I am Mexican. When it comes to being on time when meeting someone I am very respectful with their time unlike many tapatios. I’ve experienced all these informalities ever since I can remember. The first person I know of doing that was my father, I despised it every time he’d say “dame 5 minutos,” give me 5 minutes. I later learned that for Mexicans 5 minutos can mean an hour, two, three, four, however long they may please. So now when I meet someone at any given moment I ask them, “are we meeting at 5pm (puntualidad Mexicana) real time or Mexico time?” only to clarify because I don’t like to waste my time sitting around waiting for people and I cannot play their game, I can never be late unless something goes wrong. Another few phrases I will always rant and rave about are, “ya veremos – we’ll see, relajate – relax, para que hacer planes? haber que sale – Why make plans?, we’ll play it by ear and see what happens.
When I came to Guadalajara I was under the wrong perception, I thought I’d forget my English because nobody spoke it here but little did I know that I was completely wrong! I use English for everything, teach, translate, write, I speak it with everyone. Sometimes I knock on my neighbor’s door to chat with her in Spanish because all my friends speak English! I tried to befriend a few people here but they were simply not interested. At the beginning I thought it was me, maybe I wasn’t projecting the right message so I discussed it with other foreigners and it’s happened to them as well I got a better scope of the whole enchilada. People are simply not interested in letting outsiders in “their circle.” Some say that it is culture, that they feel safer because there is so much crime happening in Mexico nowadays. Do they even come close to realizing that it’s human beings who make culture? It seems as if they wear a mask called culture and they hide behind it to dump all their excuses and insecurities behind.
I used to get extremely infuriated especially one time when my accountant was quite late one night when he was supposed to pick up some invoices at 7pm. I felt as if he was playing with my time and like if I wasn’t being taken seriously. 7:15, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, and 9:30 he didn’t show up. Finally at 10:00 the door bell rang and it was him! Needless to say I almost passed out because I was very angry. I picked up the receiver and told him to come back another day. He was not happy at all but at that point I didn't care.
I remember an American friend saying once, “I am becoming too much like the people here” when we were supposed to meet one weekend and he totally vanished, he didn't call me until the following Monday. I told him, to hell with that shit! that is not an excuse, I am Mexican and I don’t care how long I’ve been here or who does that, I always go by my rules when it comes to these things.
As I get older I’ve become more selective with many things in life, one of them is choosing who I spend time with and surround myself with serious and respectful people because it is my time being put at stake, it is very valuable and nobody will give it back to me.
This also reminds me of the institution where I did volunteer work last year and I’m still working on a project with them. I always wanted to have a library at my place but I thought, “why not do it for somebody else?”
I made all the arrangements, talked to bookstores to donate us books, finally I got the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro) to do it, they agreed immediately but the institution is always making excuses so the project keeps being put off, it’s been 8 months now and I feel powerless because it is not up to me. About a week and a half ago I emailed the coordinator to ask if the books had been delivered but she hasn’t replied. I am very disappointed because that is one of my lifetime projects and I had set myself a time goal. It’s hard for me to cope and I will never accept it but at the same time I can’t let them get to me.
Something many Mexicans as well as myself have to learn to say is “NO.” people here are frightened to say no, they always say, “yes, yes, yes!” to everything even if they are well aware that they can’t compromise. So they rather say yes to avoid hurting peoples' feelings but it is ironic and contradicting, they rather flake out, not call, not show up. Do they realize that is even worse? They always say it’s a “culture” thing. Once again they hide behind their masks. I’d much rather people tell me “no” to something they don’t want to do instead of lying but I can’t change people, change starts within and I am the only one I have control over so I don’t waste my time with people like that.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Booties
Gina Roman
May 23, 2010
Walking down the street on plain daylight the other day I came close to having a heart attack when this shameless daring young man in his early twenties, passed right by me with his arm stretched outright towards me, my back was facing him so I was unable to see his cruel intentions.
His arm landed right on my ass but not only was he happy with slapping it, he squeezed it really hard with both hands that I ended up getting two bruises on my butt cheeks. How could he miss the chance of “only” rubbing it when he could go further?
I’ve always wondered why people think that they just can cross someone’s line and touch other peoples’ bodies.
I can’t deny that the mere thought has crossed my mind a million times when I bump into a man with a nice bootie or when I happen to be driving and a cyclist passes by, I’ve always wanted to stretch out my arm and squeeze his buns but I will not do it because one of my many golden rules in life is not to do anything I don’t like to be done to me. There’s a famous quote by Benito Juarez one of Mexico’s presidents 1858-1872, “El respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz.” the respect to other people's rights is peace.
I hope it doesn’t happen again but I know that it will sooner or later, I am certain that almost every single woman has been through that so next time it happens I pray that it is a nice looking man and in that case whoever that smoking hot man is, we can negotiate it.
I don’t have a hard time controlling myself because there aren’t that many nice men’s booties to select from. Since I’ve been here I’ve only known three men with nice behinds, one of them was my trainer at a gym I used to work out at. He had an amazing round bubble butt; it takes back my memory to one day when we were training. We were standing in front of the mirror and he bent down to show me this butt exercise, I couldn’t help but glare at that humongous round thing right on my face. So I didn’t realize that he was looking right at me and he told me straight out “Look at my feet not at my ass!”
I was kind of embarrassed at first but then we both laughed, he knew that his butt caught many ladies eyes so he didn’t mind it at all.
The second butt belongs to a capoeira instructor ( I never even got his name) that I tried lessons with but I couldn’t concentrate. I only ended up taking two, maybe three classes because I couldn’t get all the moves together plus the lack of concentration didn’t allow me to take better advantage.
The third behind belongs to a dear friend of mine, it is hard not to stare at it because it is so nice and firm and it is just there.
One day we went to have dinner and the restaurant was upstairs so I was walking behind him and I made a comment, I can’t even recall what I said but he told me “well, don’t look at it!”
So I told him, “look dude, what am I supposed to do? It is right on my face, I can’t avoid staring at it, and at least I didn’t slap it or squeeze it!”
We still get a good laugh about it every time we remember that night.
So ladies if you are very visual like me, if you like men with nice booties Guadalajara isn’t the place to be, now for men it is another story because there are a lot of very voluptuous women out there to choose from. But my point is men so when I think of that extinguishable gender, one of the first things I notice about them is their butts, faces, arms and abs.
Not to mention the fact that there are many “men” with amazing bodies, like the other day I went to Angels – a gay bar with a few people, my female friends and I walked out of there all frustrated because we saw all these gorgeous guys making out with each other and they wouldn’t even pay attention to us.
That is one of the downsides for women in this city, but don’t let that scare you away, there are many pleasant things to do and enjoy.
May 23, 2010
Walking down the street on plain daylight the other day I came close to having a heart attack when this shameless daring young man in his early twenties, passed right by me with his arm stretched outright towards me, my back was facing him so I was unable to see his cruel intentions.
His arm landed right on my ass but not only was he happy with slapping it, he squeezed it really hard with both hands that I ended up getting two bruises on my butt cheeks. How could he miss the chance of “only” rubbing it when he could go further?
I’ve always wondered why people think that they just can cross someone’s line and touch other peoples’ bodies.
I can’t deny that the mere thought has crossed my mind a million times when I bump into a man with a nice bootie or when I happen to be driving and a cyclist passes by, I’ve always wanted to stretch out my arm and squeeze his buns but I will not do it because one of my many golden rules in life is not to do anything I don’t like to be done to me. There’s a famous quote by Benito Juarez one of Mexico’s presidents 1858-1872, “El respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz.” the respect to other people's rights is peace.
I hope it doesn’t happen again but I know that it will sooner or later, I am certain that almost every single woman has been through that so next time it happens I pray that it is a nice looking man and in that case whoever that smoking hot man is, we can negotiate it.
I don’t have a hard time controlling myself because there aren’t that many nice men’s booties to select from. Since I’ve been here I’ve only known three men with nice behinds, one of them was my trainer at a gym I used to work out at. He had an amazing round bubble butt; it takes back my memory to one day when we were training. We were standing in front of the mirror and he bent down to show me this butt exercise, I couldn’t help but glare at that humongous round thing right on my face. So I didn’t realize that he was looking right at me and he told me straight out “Look at my feet not at my ass!”
I was kind of embarrassed at first but then we both laughed, he knew that his butt caught many ladies eyes so he didn’t mind it at all.
The second butt belongs to a capoeira instructor ( I never even got his name) that I tried lessons with but I couldn’t concentrate. I only ended up taking two, maybe three classes because I couldn’t get all the moves together plus the lack of concentration didn’t allow me to take better advantage.
The third behind belongs to a dear friend of mine, it is hard not to stare at it because it is so nice and firm and it is just there.
One day we went to have dinner and the restaurant was upstairs so I was walking behind him and I made a comment, I can’t even recall what I said but he told me “well, don’t look at it!”
So I told him, “look dude, what am I supposed to do? It is right on my face, I can’t avoid staring at it, and at least I didn’t slap it or squeeze it!”
We still get a good laugh about it every time we remember that night.
So ladies if you are very visual like me, if you like men with nice booties Guadalajara isn’t the place to be, now for men it is another story because there are a lot of very voluptuous women out there to choose from. But my point is men so when I think of that extinguishable gender, one of the first things I notice about them is their butts, faces, arms and abs.
Not to mention the fact that there are many “men” with amazing bodies, like the other day I went to Angels – a gay bar with a few people, my female friends and I walked out of there all frustrated because we saw all these gorgeous guys making out with each other and they wouldn’t even pay attention to us.
That is one of the downsides for women in this city, but don’t let that scare you away, there are many pleasant things to do and enjoy.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Last night and the night before I got hardly any sleep because the careless neighbors had this extremely scandalous party, they were blasting the stereo. I'm surprised they didn't blow up their apartment! I guess I had to use my time productively since I couldn’t sleep. These two sleepless nights gave me some time to look back and think about how I’ve been lacking the discipline to do a few of the things I enjoy the most in life; working out, reading and writing. Many times I think I can’t get in better shape or that it is impossible to achieve that, to read and write more because there are tons of things going on in one day.
That’s how it’s been since I came to Guadalajara, it’s always one thing or another and I lack the discipline that I used to have when I used to compete. I still remember those awesome moments when the only thing I had to do was switch my frequency to nun mode. I’d just train and work, work and train. Unlike here, every week I keep thinking “this weekend” I won’t let anything distract me, I will not get thrown of the curve and I will commit myself 100% to my workout, to writing another article or to start reading a new book, until someone calls to invite me to a bar, someone else calls to catch up, or a family member demands more time. That brings back many hilarious memories of my mother many years ago when I was still living at home, she used to call me out of the blue, it didn’t matter what I was doing, I had to answer the phone otherwise she’d be offended when all she wanted was me to stop by the store on my way home and get a "kilo de tortillas" for dinner.
I have to admit that I feel guilty when people ask me, “how do you manage your time, how do you stay in such good shape, how can you read so many books and write so much, how can you manage to do charity work?.” What seems impressive to them is not good enough for me because I always demand more from myself; I've always juggled more than one thing at once, that is what really keeps me going. I can be a perfectionist even though I am such an imperfect human being.
The reason I feel bad is because they’re under the impression that I am so disciplined. Honestly speaking, I am very disciplined but many times I am not, especially when I’m not feeling my best. I use that as an excuse to procrastinate and I leave many things on the back burner. I always tell myself that I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for that but then I look at my role models, a few amazing women and I am left in awe because some of them are not only in much better shape than I am but they are married, they are moms, they run their own business and they still make time to look amazingly great!
Even though I do have many activities, I come short compared to what all those women have going on their lives. There isn’t really any excuse nor do I need any “buts” or “ifs” and I desperately need to do something to improve every aspect of my life so I can help myself and others too. But before that happens I have to be in good terms with my inner person, meaning that I need to be a better person.
But, it's not me! It's Guadalajara, after all, many people come here to release all the tension in their lives and they get side-tracked. They drink more, they go out more, they meet more people they work less. Ha, ha! There isn't really any excuse!
That’s how it’s been since I came to Guadalajara, it’s always one thing or another and I lack the discipline that I used to have when I used to compete. I still remember those awesome moments when the only thing I had to do was switch my frequency to nun mode. I’d just train and work, work and train. Unlike here, every week I keep thinking “this weekend” I won’t let anything distract me, I will not get thrown of the curve and I will commit myself 100% to my workout, to writing another article or to start reading a new book, until someone calls to invite me to a bar, someone else calls to catch up, or a family member demands more time. That brings back many hilarious memories of my mother many years ago when I was still living at home, she used to call me out of the blue, it didn’t matter what I was doing, I had to answer the phone otherwise she’d be offended when all she wanted was me to stop by the store on my way home and get a "kilo de tortillas" for dinner.
I have to admit that I feel guilty when people ask me, “how do you manage your time, how do you stay in such good shape, how can you read so many books and write so much, how can you manage to do charity work?.” What seems impressive to them is not good enough for me because I always demand more from myself; I've always juggled more than one thing at once, that is what really keeps me going. I can be a perfectionist even though I am such an imperfect human being.
The reason I feel bad is because they’re under the impression that I am so disciplined. Honestly speaking, I am very disciplined but many times I am not, especially when I’m not feeling my best. I use that as an excuse to procrastinate and I leave many things on the back burner. I always tell myself that I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time for that but then I look at my role models, a few amazing women and I am left in awe because some of them are not only in much better shape than I am but they are married, they are moms, they run their own business and they still make time to look amazingly great!
Even though I do have many activities, I come short compared to what all those women have going on their lives. There isn’t really any excuse nor do I need any “buts” or “ifs” and I desperately need to do something to improve every aspect of my life so I can help myself and others too. But before that happens I have to be in good terms with my inner person, meaning that I need to be a better person.
But, it's not me! It's Guadalajara, after all, many people come here to release all the tension in their lives and they get side-tracked. They drink more, they go out more, they meet more people they work less. Ha, ha! There isn't really any excuse!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Mexican Expressions
The other night as we were having drinks at “La I Latina,” a very fancy restaurant-bar in Jalisco , we were talking about many things when someone happened to mention the social classes in Mexico, after a brief discussion how many different social classes there are, we narrowed it down to “nacos” and “fresas.” Now, you must be asking yourself, what is a “naco” and what is a “fresa?
“Naco”
is an derogatory term people use to describe someone from the low class, someone who doesn’t wear brand clothes, someone who buys and supports “pirateria,” piracy, all those who do a lot of swearing ,
These are some adjectives used to describe a “Naco”
Dirty, tacky ghetto, wal-mart, tianguis, musica banda, cerveza, blue collar worker, factory worker, moreno, misspelled tattoos, they drive old beat up cars like old beetles, they commute by bus, tren ligero/subway, bike, on foot, they eat at “cheap taco stands,” they go to UDG (Universidad de Guadalajara), they read notichismes, el metro and tv y novelas, they lack culture, they are labor workers, they live in the outskirts of the city, they don’t have money to travel, their once a year vacation is to Puerto Vallarta, el bosque de la primavera, or the local hotsprings, they eat “cueritos” pork skins –, they hang out “cantinas”, hole in the wall, they drink cheap booze. Many times, this term is used to mark the difference between the Spanish spoken among farmers and city people.
“Fresa”
Are the total opposite of “nacos,” they hang out at plazas, malls like Andares, Galerias, they drive new beetles, theyeat at “more expensive” taco stands, they are white collar employees , they hang out at “antros” – clubs on the weekends, they drink expensive martinis, they study and travel abroad, Europe, the U. S., Canada, they wear brand clothes, they say “o sea”,” they live in the suburbs, they use a funny tone to express themselves, they mix English and Spanish words when they spea k because it makes them sound “more sophisticated.” They are “Mafiosos,” smugglers, they drive brand new Chevy, Ford or Dodge Ram pickups or Lincoln Navigators.
People can really draw the line between the two but it boils down to both being in the same only in a “different” social class. Both “nacos” and “fresas “alike eat hot dogs but a “naco” would go to the store around the corner to buy a “salchicha” in a wrapper and a “fresa “would buy one at a stand. They both swear as much as one another but only using a somewhat “different” tone. It is likely that “fresas” will drink cheap booze in their cars to cut back on costs.
Nacos are what nobody tries to be but many want to be. Fresas are the nacos that many try to be but nobody wants to be .
Now that you know the difference between nacos and fresas and you want to blend in, here’s a list of terms for you to use accordingly. Fresa: Would be a preppy guy, rich girl or someone who speaks as if they had a hot potato stuck in their mouth. Naco(a): Derogatory name for someone who has money but no class or simply someone with no class. Mexican “fresas” also use it to describe those who are of a lower social class. “Amandititita,” the coolest and anti-fresa queen of the Anarcumbia’s take on Mexico’s idea of a Fresa. The video is a perfect parody of the interaction between a "fresa" and a "naco" in modern day Mexico: Pipirisnais: Used to describe people who think and act as if they were of a higher social class when in fact they're not, i.e. "Te crees muy pipirisnais."Hechame aguas: The verbatim translation is"Throw some water on me." But better translated as look out for you when you're either crossing the street or doing any other activity.La neta: The truthLa chota: The policePorfis: Abbreviation of por favor, which means "Please."Bien nice: Term used to describe a cool object.O sea: Similar to when teenage girls use the term “as if” to like describe everything and stuff.Le hecha mucha crema a sus tacos or Se cree el/la muy muy: Used to describe someone who is very arrogant and thinks he/she is better than everyone else. In other words, a hot shot.Chido: Something very, extremely cool. It can be applied to almost everything.No mames: You have to be kidding me Baboso: A slug. Can also mean "ass**ole." Un mal viaje: it describes someone who has done something terrible because of their bad mood. Órale: OK, all right Güey: Derived from "buey"—an ox, but means "dude." Cooler younger kids actually just say “we” which is pronounced “gooeeee.” Que oso: you say this when you have done something very embarrassing or to react to someone else’s embarrassing story. Gringo: Mexican slang for a white American. Legend has it that the term comes from Mexican revolutionaries telling American invasors “Green” (from the color of their uniforms) and “Go,” which were the only two words the Mexican soldiers knew. Pasarla chido: To have a great time ¡Qué padre!: Cool Estar crudo: To have a hangover Pendejo: Jerk ¿Que no?: Ending phrase used in Mexican Spanish to denote "right?"
“Naco”
is an derogatory term people use to describe someone from the low class, someone who doesn’t wear brand clothes, someone who buys and supports “pirateria,” piracy, all those who do a lot of swearing ,
These are some adjectives used to describe a “Naco”
Dirty, tacky ghetto, wal-mart, tianguis, musica banda, cerveza, blue collar worker, factory worker, moreno, misspelled tattoos, they drive old beat up cars like old beetles, they commute by bus, tren ligero/subway, bike, on foot, they eat at “cheap taco stands,” they go to UDG (Universidad de Guadalajara), they read notichismes, el metro and tv y novelas, they lack culture, they are labor workers, they live in the outskirts of the city, they don’t have money to travel, their once a year vacation is to Puerto Vallarta, el bosque de la primavera, or the local hotsprings, they eat “cueritos” pork skins –, they hang out “cantinas”, hole in the wall, they drink cheap booze. Many times, this term is used to mark the difference between the Spanish spoken among farmers and city people.
“Fresa”
Are the total opposite of “nacos,” they hang out at plazas, malls like Andares, Galerias, they drive new beetles, theyeat at “more expensive” taco stands, they are white collar employees , they hang out at “antros” – clubs on the weekends, they drink expensive martinis, they study and travel abroad, Europe, the U. S., Canada, they wear brand clothes, they say “o sea”,” they live in the suburbs, they use a funny tone to express themselves, they mix English and Spanish words when they spea k because it makes them sound “more sophisticated.” They are “Mafiosos,” smugglers, they drive brand new Chevy, Ford or Dodge Ram pickups or Lincoln Navigators.
People can really draw the line between the two but it boils down to both being in the same only in a “different” social class. Both “nacos” and “fresas “alike eat hot dogs but a “naco” would go to the store around the corner to buy a “salchicha” in a wrapper and a “fresa “would buy one at a stand. They both swear as much as one another but only using a somewhat “different” tone. It is likely that “fresas” will drink cheap booze in their cars to cut back on costs.
Nacos are what nobody tries to be but many want to be. Fresas are the nacos that many try to be but nobody wants to be .
Now that you know the difference between nacos and fresas and you want to blend in, here’s a list of terms for you to use accordingly. Fresa: Would be a preppy guy, rich girl or someone who speaks as if they had a hot potato stuck in their mouth. Naco(a): Derogatory name for someone who has money but no class or simply someone with no class. Mexican “fresas” also use it to describe those who are of a lower social class. “Amandititita,” the coolest and anti-fresa queen of the Anarcumbia’s take on Mexico’s idea of a Fresa. The video is a perfect parody of the interaction between a "fresa" and a "naco" in modern day Mexico: Pipirisnais: Used to describe people who think and act as if they were of a higher social class when in fact they're not, i.e. "Te crees muy pipirisnais."Hechame aguas: The verbatim translation is"Throw some water on me." But better translated as look out for you when you're either crossing the street or doing any other activity.La neta: The truthLa chota: The policePorfis: Abbreviation of por favor, which means "Please."Bien nice: Term used to describe a cool object.O sea: Similar to when teenage girls use the term “as if” to like describe everything and stuff.Le hecha mucha crema a sus tacos or Se cree el/la muy muy: Used to describe someone who is very arrogant and thinks he/she is better than everyone else. In other words, a hot shot.Chido: Something very, extremely cool. It can be applied to almost everything.No mames: You have to be kidding me Baboso: A slug. Can also mean "ass**ole." Un mal viaje: it describes someone who has done something terrible because of their bad mood. Órale: OK, all right Güey: Derived from "buey"—an ox, but means "dude." Cooler younger kids actually just say “we” which is pronounced “gooeeee.” Que oso: you say this when you have done something very embarrassing or to react to someone else’s embarrassing story. Gringo: Mexican slang for a white American. Legend has it that the term comes from Mexican revolutionaries telling American invasors “Green” (from the color of their uniforms) and “Go,” which were the only two words the Mexican soldiers knew. Pasarla chido: To have a great time ¡Qué padre!: Cool Estar crudo: To have a hangover Pendejo: Jerk ¿Que no?: Ending phrase used in Mexican Spanish to denote "right?"
La Venganza de Moctezuma
When visiting a foreign country we must take many things into account. We have to be mentally prepared to face many ups and downs, not only that but we must be aware that everywhere we go it is a completely different world than where we are coming from so let’s save ourselves some disappointment if things don’t always go our way.
Mexico is not an exception to this rule especially when it comes to food. Sometimes we let ourselves get indulged with all the munchies or junk food “antojitos” as they are known here, like street tacos, tostadas, tortas and refried beans among other goodies soaked in oil or even worse, soaked in “manteca” lard.
When we discover all of Mexico’s exquisite cuisine we tend to forget about our “healthy diet” and release the hungry beast within since we are on vacation or on a long term stay. It is totally acceptable to not always go by the book and be so strict with our diets, after all we are human creatures and we are not in the military but the majority of times we let ourselves be guided by our palate and we forget about the down sides and stick anything we see in our mouths following the “seafood diet”
we eat everything we see, that is to say until our bodies burst with the reaction of so much going on inside and we have to rush to the bathroom……………..
As a Mexican I’ve been exposed to Mexican food ever since I was a little girl, with the exception of pork which I’ve became allergic to as I got older, especially after I changed my diet.
When I first came to Guadalajara I went to let’s say a restaurant in el Centro, after browsing through the menu I saw a dish that caught my eye “carne adobada.” I ordered it without even taking the time to read at what it was or what the dish came with. When my meal arrived I started munching when I noticed that the taste wasn’t anything like beef which I thought it was, the texture was also a bit odd but I didn’t pay much attention since I was in a rush and starving.
Once I finished my lunch I rushed to catch the bus and arrived to my next class right on the dot. After my students arrived everything was going pretty smooth until I came down with these awful cramps that I could barely stand on my feet so I reached for a chair. My students were a bit preoccupied because they thought I was on the verge of death when they saw my ghostly pale face. So there I was sweating and I could hardly breathe. Suddenly I heard this volcano erupting inside me so I rushed to the bathroom, needless to say after letting it all out; I noticed that my whole body was covered with red spots.
I developed an allergic reaction to that “carne adobada,” which I later found out that it was pork. After being bombarded with questions as to what and where I had eaten my students came down with the conclusion that it was that tasty meal I had had earlier in the day. Later that evening when I got home, my neighbor made a tasty hot soup to soothe my stomach and that was when I found out about “La Venganza de Moctezuma.”
She explained that when newcomers or even inhabitants eat something that their stomachs don’t take too well, you don’t feel it when it goes inside; you feel it when it’s coming out, as they say here “te cobra la salida.” You pay the consequences when it comes out.
“La Venganza de Moctezuma” Moctezuma’s revenge is a side effect or allergic reaction we get after eating spicy food. It is too much for our bodies to handle when we are not accustomed to the food in this new country. We are used to eating at restaurants that are not authentic, now when we come to Mexico, we really find out what the real Mexican deal is about. According to my neighbor and a few others I’ve asked, “La Venganza de Moctezuma” is a process foreigners go through when they first arrive to Mexico. I, of course wasn’t very satisfied with the answer so I decided to look into it in more depth. It boils down to the allergic reaction when eating hot and spicy food. Our bodies come back to claim the maladjustment going on inside, being in revolution, they protest against all the “antojitos” we packed down. “La Venganza de Moctezuma is not an illness, it is only a bad moment.” It doesn’t have anything to do with where we’re at, it has more to do with the fact of being new to a country as it can happen to anyone anywhere so don’t panic and think that all the food in Mexico is bad because every country has its own revolting meals.
This phrase “La Venganza de Moctezuma” takes us back to the early 1500’s. Moctezuma was a trained priest who later became the leader of the Aztecs. At that time the Aztecs were the primary owners of what is now Mexico and Central America, their capital was “Tenochtitlan” Mexico City.
When explorer and conquistador Hernan Cortes arrived to Tenochtitlan in 1519, Moctezuma under the belief that Cortes and his people were descendants of the God Quetzalcoatl, he allowed the Spanish conquistadors to enter Tenochtitlan. Without opposing he gave himself away and he was then captured and held hostage by Cortes.
To this day it is unclear as to how Moctezuma died; there are different versions to his death; he was either stabbed by the Spaniards or he was killed. It depends on who tells the story.
So nowadays when foreigners visit Mexico, people say that it is Moctezuma’s spirit that has come back to claim his land. Many people are unaware as to how far back this goes, who Moctezuma was or what his story was, they just go with the flow and say “oh, it’s La Venganza de Moctezuma, he has come back to claim his territory.”
Let’s not get intimidated by Moctezuma’s revenge and enjoy all of Mexico’s beauties such as its food but keep this in mind “almost everything within reason everywhere." you go.”
Mexico is not an exception to this rule especially when it comes to food. Sometimes we let ourselves get indulged with all the munchies or junk food “antojitos” as they are known here, like street tacos, tostadas, tortas and refried beans among other goodies soaked in oil or even worse, soaked in “manteca” lard.
When we discover all of Mexico’s exquisite cuisine we tend to forget about our “healthy diet” and release the hungry beast within since we are on vacation or on a long term stay. It is totally acceptable to not always go by the book and be so strict with our diets, after all we are human creatures and we are not in the military but the majority of times we let ourselves be guided by our palate and we forget about the down sides and stick anything we see in our mouths following the “seafood diet”
we eat everything we see, that is to say until our bodies burst with the reaction of so much going on inside and we have to rush to the bathroom……………..
As a Mexican I’ve been exposed to Mexican food ever since I was a little girl, with the exception of pork which I’ve became allergic to as I got older, especially after I changed my diet.
When I first came to Guadalajara I went to let’s say a restaurant in el Centro, after browsing through the menu I saw a dish that caught my eye “carne adobada.” I ordered it without even taking the time to read at what it was or what the dish came with. When my meal arrived I started munching when I noticed that the taste wasn’t anything like beef which I thought it was, the texture was also a bit odd but I didn’t pay much attention since I was in a rush and starving.
Once I finished my lunch I rushed to catch the bus and arrived to my next class right on the dot. After my students arrived everything was going pretty smooth until I came down with these awful cramps that I could barely stand on my feet so I reached for a chair. My students were a bit preoccupied because they thought I was on the verge of death when they saw my ghostly pale face. So there I was sweating and I could hardly breathe. Suddenly I heard this volcano erupting inside me so I rushed to the bathroom, needless to say after letting it all out; I noticed that my whole body was covered with red spots.
I developed an allergic reaction to that “carne adobada,” which I later found out that it was pork. After being bombarded with questions as to what and where I had eaten my students came down with the conclusion that it was that tasty meal I had had earlier in the day. Later that evening when I got home, my neighbor made a tasty hot soup to soothe my stomach and that was when I found out about “La Venganza de Moctezuma.”
She explained that when newcomers or even inhabitants eat something that their stomachs don’t take too well, you don’t feel it when it goes inside; you feel it when it’s coming out, as they say here “te cobra la salida.” You pay the consequences when it comes out.
“La Venganza de Moctezuma” Moctezuma’s revenge is a side effect or allergic reaction we get after eating spicy food. It is too much for our bodies to handle when we are not accustomed to the food in this new country. We are used to eating at restaurants that are not authentic, now when we come to Mexico, we really find out what the real Mexican deal is about. According to my neighbor and a few others I’ve asked, “La Venganza de Moctezuma” is a process foreigners go through when they first arrive to Mexico. I, of course wasn’t very satisfied with the answer so I decided to look into it in more depth. It boils down to the allergic reaction when eating hot and spicy food. Our bodies come back to claim the maladjustment going on inside, being in revolution, they protest against all the “antojitos” we packed down. “La Venganza de Moctezuma is not an illness, it is only a bad moment.” It doesn’t have anything to do with where we’re at, it has more to do with the fact of being new to a country as it can happen to anyone anywhere so don’t panic and think that all the food in Mexico is bad because every country has its own revolting meals.
This phrase “La Venganza de Moctezuma” takes us back to the early 1500’s. Moctezuma was a trained priest who later became the leader of the Aztecs. At that time the Aztecs were the primary owners of what is now Mexico and Central America, their capital was “Tenochtitlan” Mexico City.
When explorer and conquistador Hernan Cortes arrived to Tenochtitlan in 1519, Moctezuma under the belief that Cortes and his people were descendants of the God Quetzalcoatl, he allowed the Spanish conquistadors to enter Tenochtitlan. Without opposing he gave himself away and he was then captured and held hostage by Cortes.
To this day it is unclear as to how Moctezuma died; there are different versions to his death; he was either stabbed by the Spaniards or he was killed. It depends on who tells the story.
So nowadays when foreigners visit Mexico, people say that it is Moctezuma’s spirit that has come back to claim his land. Many people are unaware as to how far back this goes, who Moctezuma was or what his story was, they just go with the flow and say “oh, it’s La Venganza de Moctezuma, he has come back to claim his territory.”
Let’s not get intimidated by Moctezuma’s revenge and enjoy all of Mexico’s beauties such as its food but keep this in mind “almost everything within reason everywhere." you go.”
Y's accident
Having an accident is never a pleasant experience anywhere in the world, but I never thought that getting into a wreck in Guadalajara would be a real nightmare. I’d heard many stories of people having accidents and being arrested even though not being at fault. Why? I was never interested in getting the full scope until it happened…………………………… to me.
Many people were always intimidated by Carretera de Chapala, one of Guadalajara’s top most dangerous roads because people drive like maniacs just for the mere pleasure of it. There is a saying in Mexico used for people who fly through the roads. “Parece que va a recibir herencia” it looks like he/she is going to claim his will.
People say, “That road is evil, it is so dangerous! Aren’t you afraid of driving there every day?”
I always answer very abruptly because no, it is not the road itself; it is those who drive as if they are possessed.
I can recall witnessing an accident almost every day in 3 years driving back and forth to El Salto but I always thought “it will never happen to me because I don’t drive like a maniac.”
That was to say until early June when I was driving on kilometro 15 of that road. I was headed to El Salto to teach a class. Being in such a good mood I ignored the fact of getting in a major wreck shortly after I left Tlajomulco.
Little did I know how much my life would change within the many weeks to come only because it occurred to some idiot to cross the road backing up!!
He was coming from the opposite lane of the road when he just happened to drive right through the median and crossed the road on reverse.
I wasn’t looking on the other lane, all I remember was slamming my breaks since this old gray pick up pops out of the nowhere in a heartbeat.
Needless to say, it was too late to avoid running into him even though I veered to the opposite side, he was practically on my face.
One of the many things I’ve learned since I’ve been here is to never trust the fact that you’ve seen it all because when you least expect it, you will see something you’d never even come close to imagining.
It was June 6 driving on Carretera de Chapala at about noon time on the road going towards Miguel Hidalgo airport and to Guadalajara's "Valle del Silicio" The Silicon Valley. I was driving at the speed limit when I suddenly saw a huge object in front of me. I thought, “it’s a bird, it’s a plane, NO! It’s this oaf on a pick-up, he popped out of the median, the dumb ass I couldn’t avoid hitting his ass going on a highway when it is almost impossible to stop when it occurs to people or animals to cross the road just like that.
Bless those poor dogs that get killed when they cross the road. I don’t blame the innocent creatures because they can’t think. Or so I thought and it cracks me up the many times I’ve seen dogs cross pedestrian bridges, it is as if they had a sixth sense.
Just like I am still in awe about many incidents I’ve seen, I didn’t believe the fact that dogs can actually assimilate the danger!
What about all those people who cross the road at the crack of dawn or late at night wearing pitch black tops or pants? I’ve come close to that twice before and thank the Lord it hasn’t happened.I passed out for a few seconds and when I came back there I was in the middle of the road after I spun a few times. I could see many cars coming towards me at over 100 kilometers per hour. I was amazed at how I didn’t get hit while I sat there idly obstructing the road.
The first thing I tried to do was pull over to the side but I was then informed that all vehicles involved in a wreck are not to be moved from the scene of the accident otherwise the possibilities of the party who refuses to obey are higher for him to be at fault.
The man got off his pick up, approached me and blabbered many things that I don't even recall anymore, all I can remember is reading his lips, I could hear a voice far away but I couldn’t put any words together.
I was in shock, in pain, still trying to decipher what had just happened. There I wasI was shaking and couldn't even put my words together so I didn't even get off the car. Finally I grabbed my cell phone and called my insurance company.
I sat in the car for over an hour until the police or my claim adjustor arrived.
While I waited in the car, the man kept telling me to get out, he was saying 100 words per minute, I remember him admitting of being at fault, he demanded that I shouldn’t call the police or my insurer, he suggested that we “take care of the matter” leaving any third party out but I said abruptly NO!
At that moment I didn't even realize that I could've gotten hit by another car which would’ve been awful because people just drive like maniacs on that road.
as I waited for the tow truck, some people who had witnessed the accident approached me and tried to comfort me, they must’ve felt very for me.
Two men kept telling me, “we witnessed everything, don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault, we can testify to your favor”The man got off his pick up and approached me and he was telling me something that I don't recall anymore, all I can remember is reading his lips but I can't exactly recall anything.I was shaking and couldn't even put my words together so I didn't even get off the car, I left it there in the middle of the road until the two truck came, at that moment I didn't even realize that I could've gotten hit by another car and it would've been awful because people just drive like maniacs on that road. While the two-truck came, some people who had witnessed the accident came to me and tried to comfort me as I sat there in awe, not knowing what to do or say.
I hit my chest, my back and my right arm so I was in awful pain but I didn’t want to get off the car because my legs were shaking and I didn’t want to cross the road in that condition.
An hour later when the two-truck finally came, I got off the car got all my belongings from my car so they wouldn’t take them, standing there watching how they towed my car I was almost in tears.
The police and the claim adjustor took the reports, they took pictures of both vehicles, and of the skid marks on the pavement, “el federal” said, “according to the marks, and from your declarations I can tell that the other party was at fault.”
I was relieved only to later find out that they didn’t write this on the police report.
I called a friend of mine who works in El Salto to come get me and so that I could put my belongings in his car. After a long wait, a lot of questioning, a lot of things to clear so to make the story short, both cars were impounded since the other driver didn’t carry insurance or a license and since he didn’t admit being at fault after he had just told me a few minutes before that he was the one who had caused the accident. That is one of many twisted laws in Jalisco, when either one of the drivers is not insured, both vehicles are to be impounded.
And even worse, when someone is seriously injured, when there’s blood at the scene of the accident, both drivers are arrested regardless of who is at fault.
Driving in Jalisco can be such a fun but risky challenge because 60% of the population drive without a license or insurance and Jalisco is the only state in Mexico that requires insurance. I can’t even bare to imagine what it’s like for drivers in the other states.
Needless to say, I didn’t make it to my classes that evening, instead my great friend Jason took me to Hospital Saint Joseph by plaza bonita, I was given an emergency pass to see a therapist after being in so much pain.
I thought something inside me had burst because everything there was burning.
The following three weeks were a real nightmare, all this coming and going between hospitals/clinics because nobody seemed to know which hospital I was assigned to or where I could get checked. I spent almost three weeks going from one clinic to another to have them “continue” my disability.
That is another thing I learned, that here in Mexico they can’t give you disability for more than a week at once, you have to go to IMSS Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social every week in order for the disability benefits to be extended.
Imagine what it’s like to go to many different places by bus, by taxi, walking la procuraduria, la policia estatal, vialidad, tránsito, policia estatal, my insurer, PROFECO, CONDUSEF to see who was responsible of releasing my vehicle and to file a complaint about my insurer not taking full responsibility?
Having an accident anywhere is one of the most unpleasant experiences because not only is it time consuming, but it is energy, money consuming, it is stressful, frustrating, and traumatic.
The following endless days of my life took a completely different route than what I expected. I had to go to therapy; I had some a few minor fractures, my back, my right arm, my neck and chest were bruised and in pain.
Not being able to move, work, drive or work out work made me feel useless. I couldn’t lift anything heavy so my life, my health and my body resented all the down sides that I had so much anxiety, there were many moments when I lost my appetite or and many more moments when I couldn’t sleep.
What can we do when things like this happen in life? What was I to do when everything was out of my control? One of the most difficult things for human beings is when we are out of control in certain situations like having an accident, losing a loved one, etc, What can we do when you are treated like a puppet sending you from one place to another because no one seems to know what the hell they’re doing? When people in those agencies are very unfriendly, they act as if they were annoyed when someone asks them something. As far as I know that is what they are there for but they don’t even come close to being the right candidate for those jobs, one thing they are certainly sure of is that they have power sitting on those rickety chairs hiding behind those outdated computers.
What are we supposed to believe when this happens? Are we supposed to beat that into our heads and believe what the “wonderful” book “The Secret” tells us?
Your thoughts are the result of your actions? Your thoughts attract whatever happens to you; basically you are responsible for whatever happens in your life be it right or wrong.
Are we held responsible for attracting the bad vibes and all those bad-intentioned jerks that have screwed us out in any possible way they are able to?
Are all those thousands of sexually abused children responsible for what happened? Did they strongly believe that it was going to happen and so it did? What about those who get kidnapped? Did they attract the criminals?
If it is so, then before my accident I strongly believed that I’d soon get into a wreck?
Do we have to suck it all in, accept all the injustices in this world, put up with all the bad intentioned jerks and live with it?
More than two months later I was finally able to get my car out of the deposit. After many stupid peoples’ mistakes, they misplaced my file, they filled out the according documents accordingly so that cost me time, effort, money, energy. I called my insurer numerous times but it was useless because they “were unable to do anything” since that is the “normal process.”
It takes them so long to find out who is at fault when after the day of the accident the federal officer stated that according to the evidence the other driver was at fault? There are many small bits and pieces that still don’t make sense to me but if I sat down to decipher the whole mess; it’d be a waste of time.
This accident held many surprises as one of the things I was unaware of was that my insurer is only liable to pay 30 days of my car being at the deposit, everything else came out of my pocket plus I had to pay for the tow-truck and my deductible. What the hell was the purpose of having insurance?
What makes me very angry is that people don’t appreciate their lives, they don’t insure their cars nor do they bother to get a license.
They say they lack the money to afford these things when they spend more on booze than what they spend on milk.
So if you do the math, they spend a lot of money on alcohol then they would on insurance and a license. A license is not a monthly thing, it has to be renewed every four years and it is not expensive at all. It is only $450 pesos (about $40 dollars a year). Imagine that Jalisco is the only state in Mexico where insurance is required!
I went to CONDUSEF (Comisión Nacional para la defensa de los usuarios de las instituciones financieras) to file a complaint; they deal with credit card holders when they are not entitled to their rights , auto insurance holders and they protect financial service user’s rights. That is their job or so I thought but the first thing they told me was “Well, the accident happened over a month ago,” “so you might be better off waiting since it’s been a while. Your matter will be defined before your complaint goes through so your best bet is to wait.
I was so disgusted when they told me this so of course I blew out on these people!
In a perfect world, I wouldn’t want to get into another wreck but we live in such an imperfect world filled with psycho drivers so all I do is pray that if it ever happens again, please God, “let it be with someone who is insured so I don’t have to go through hell again!”
This world can really be a bitch but we can’t not let it get to us, we must continue with our frustration, pain and our good and not so good moments. Life is about learning from our mistakes and other peoples’ mistakes too but we have to keep moving and stay positive and loving so things can work out.
We have to let all the bad moments go and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around us; ups and downs are part of humanity.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard we try to be better human beings, we are surrounded by evil-intentioned people so I ask myself, is it worthwhile to even try being a better person?
Every morning when I wake up one of the things I do is ponder on many things in life.
June went to Saint Joseph Hospital to get checked
Was resting at home, calling the insurance company and everyone else to make all the arrangements for my accident
June 22 IMSS Clinica 55 Ninos Heroes
June 23 IMSS Clinica 91 El Cerezo, went to El Salto to see about getting car released, go to vialidad, go to policia federal, go to Saint Joseph Hospital
June 24 IMSS Clinica 91 again to get disability documents arranged, turned in disability form, Oliver refused to sign it, Roberto computer tech picked up my laptop to replace the top since it broke with the impact
Went to therapy all this week at Saint Joseph Hospital
June 25 IMSS Clinica 55 Ninos Heroes
June 26 Tlajmulco procuraduría
June 29 IMSS Clinica 91 El Cerezo
June 30 Clinica 55 Ninos Heroes, they didn’t have me registered, I registered long ago
July 1st went to ICI Had slight argument with Oliver, went to Tlajomulco procuraduria again to see about getting car released
July 2nd went to IMSS in Santa Tere to get my IMSS card but it was not given to me
July 3rd was really sick, I got food poisoning so I was dying from these horrible cramps.
Went to therapy all this week
July 6 IMSS Clinica 55 follow up, the jerk off who caused the accident came to threaten me.
July 7 Tlajomulco procuradia. Procuraduria in zona industrial to file report against that crazy man but they stated they couldn’t do anything since he didn’t try to kill me.
July 8 IMSS Clinica 92 check process of dissability
July 9 Tlajomulco procuraduria
July 10 IMSS Clinica 92 medicina del trabajo
July 13 IMSS Clinica 55
July 14 conciliacion y arbitraje to sue O
July 15 Conciliacion again
July 16 IMSS Clinica 55 pickup disability check
July 17 Go back to IMMS for follow up
By mid June I had lost track of how when things happened because every single day seemed never ending, it was all about going here, going there, oh, we can’t find your file, we don’t have anything on record, go to the police department, go the federal police, go here, go there, oh there was a confusion, oh the person who needs to authorize/sign this document is out today, or show up first thing tomorrow, oh he won’t arrive until after one, oh, we forgot to tell you this.
IMSS (Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social) is another big mess. Within a short time span I learned a lot more things than I normally do. IMMS doesn’t issue a disability slip for more than 7 days at once so we have to go every single week in order for them to authorize disability benefits. Not convenient!
Since I always investigate matters that the majority of the population doesn’t, I asked many people at no avail, nobody was able to give me a valid answer, “that’s the way it’s always been and that’s the bottom line.”
At that point I was extremely frustrated and anxious, I felt like I had to do something so I made an appointment with a lawyer apart from the one I had through my insurance company because it seemed like he was not getting anywhere. After waiting for about 30 minutes, he finally showed up and looked at me lustfully from head to toe I ignored it though thinking that I was just being paranoid after all that mess I was in. We went into his office, sat down and I put it out to him and as I kept going he was scanning me up and down. I don’t think he was paying attention to what I said and much less did he care. So he suddenly blurts this out “so, when can I pick you up so we can go to lunch?” I ignored and kept going, a few minutes later he said the same thing.
I got fed up so I got up and left, I was very frustrated because I ended up wasting more time, energy and money.
So as I was leaving he asked again, “so let me know when can I can come over to your place so we can watch a film.”
Needless to say I never again went back to get advice from that filthy dirty minded man. I have always respected other people, especially their space, their bodies; when someone looks at me like that, as if I were a piece of meat with nothing in my brain or as if I were going to accept being fined and dined in a heart-beat and go on with the game of being “seduced” as part of the kind payment for their generosity of an expensive dinner. Many men think like that, the fact that they have a decent job and/or money every single woman is going to fall for that type of crap, well, I am not in that category.
I started feeling after this accident, a lot stronger, a lot more ready if in case I go through this again – I really hope that I don’t. I won’t be as vulnerable; I’ll be more prepared mentally.
Looking back at two occasions when I kept going around between el salto, la policia federal, la policia estatal, la procuraduria, you name it, I was so frustrated and angry to have to go around in circles and having to commute by bus that I accepted a ride from two different men two different times.
It was very freaky but I was desperate. It I wouldn’t have been in such desperate need I would’ve never done that.
The first time I did I was sitting at the policia federal to get this document signed in order for my car to get released from the corralon, I had gone the day before but I had to go pay a speeding ticket I got. Yes, on top of that a speeding ticket of which I was never notified until that day. “They said, come back at 7 tomorrow.”
So there I was at 7am on a Tuesday, 8, 9, 10, 12, 1pm came and the person who had to signed such document wasn’t there so by that time I was in flames. While I waited there was another man who had gone through something similar we talked the whole morning. When the document was finally signed it was too late for me to get there on time by bus so the man offered me a ride, I got chills on my entire body because I didn’t know this man but I was in desperate need to get there on time.
To make it worse, when we got to his car the man pulls out a huge bottle of whisky from a “hielera” ice chest.
I panicked so I asked him “What are you drinking?” and he replied nonchalantly “a small shot of whisky to cool down”
Number one, it wasn’t a shot number two, it wasn’t even hot!
the 40 minute drive that I rode with that man felt endless, he just jugged down that huge cup of straight vodka so by the time we got to the junker, he was already wasted, I was praying that he would not drive off somewhere else to rape and kill me. I was almost in tears that I made it safe and sound.
The second time it happened, I was at the junker trying to get my car released again because the document was addressed to the wrong place/person so I had to waste another whole day to go back.
There were two men and the same thing happened, I was waiting, waiting and waiting so these men worked at the police office in el salto so I didn’t get such bad feeling about them. Even though I didn’t feel 100% (you never know when you’ll find a psycho) they gave me a better feeling than the man from the previous time.
I had never done something like that before and never again will I do it.
Not to mention I had been feeling very sensitive and vulnerable because one of the many times that I was walking, coming back from the hospital, the police department or other places I was sent to, something I would’ve never imagined happened.
I was walking on a small street, it must have been shortly after 8pm when this man on a motorcycle pulled over and asked me how to get to “el centro” the center, I told him to keep going straight and he’d get there within another 10 minute ride and I kept walking. On the next street, he came out again and asked me the same thing; I thought to myself, this man must be really stupid because I just told him. So I told him and kept walking, another street later, he popped out again and at that point I was extremely annoyed because he got on my nerves, I didn’t even bother to stop so he tapped on my shoulder and as I turned around I was ready to scream at him when I look he was exposing himself right then and there. Yes! I couldn’t believe my eyes, he actually had his pants and underwear down! I was disgusted so as I tried to walk away he pushed me down, luckily I didn’t fall but I stumbled and so he got really close to me and grabbed me but I fought as hard as I could and then I stormed away. Those few seconds were one of the few worst moments of my life because I thought I was going to get raped.
It is one of my biggest fears and I do not wish that upon anyone. I don’t know how I pulled through that, many times I woke up in the middle of the night because I had nightmares; I dreamt that I was being raped.
It was hard to get myself together after all that mess but I did, I lived to tell it all.
Many things happened in such a period of time, at times it was too much to handle. Someone once told me that whatever doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.
I won’t even waste my time or energy writing about my employer, all I can say is that the man I worked for is a crook, a sleazy and shady “business” man.
IMSS (Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social) guess what kind of support I got from them after applying for disability benefits!?
I only got 30% of my salary, if even that. I had never lost as much money as I did with this accident that I didn’t cause but it took so long for the investigations to go through and for my car to be released because it turned out that the man (the other driver) changed the story, on his declaration, he stated that I had caused the accident. I was in shock when I read the report, he said that I was driving behind him and I tried to cut in front of him that is why I hit him!
Not only was he a liar but he was a macho coward as well. He got my address how? I later found out that “the police department” gave it to him. That’s what they do when either one of the parties involved want to come to an agreement. So this coward asked for my address so we could come to an agreement without having the police involved.
So they gave him my address without even hesitating or stopping to think that he could’ve killed me!
Needless to say, he came to my house, he used a very sleazy tactic when he rang the door bell. I picked up the interphone and he said he needed physical therapy, he found a flyer for a gym so he thought I was a physical therapist. So when I stepped out he came really close to me, got on my face and tried to intimidate me. He said “I came to get my money for the accident that you caused and I need it now otherwise you will have to pay the consequences”
I could hardly move with a neck brace, a back brace and a neck brace but I managed to push him away and scream my guts out. So I called the security guards next door and he literally ran off.
Perhaps that taught him a lesson. The next day I went and filed a restraining order against him but I was told that they couldn’t do anything because he hadn’t hurt my physically. So in other words, he needed to kill me so they would’ve stepped in.
That was revolting, not getting the support I wanted from the police, it gave me this sense of insecurity, I had never felt so unsafe and vulnerable.
I never went back to that place because I found it pointless to waste my time there when they were not going to take action.
This man made me waste so much time, energy, money that I will never in my life will I forget the bitter taste I was left with.
I had never gone through such a nightmare! when I look back and think of how I was able to pull through all this mess, all that time I kept telling myself, it could be worse, it could be worse especially after I heard many terrible stories like the one where a pregnant young woman was driving when this taxi driver decided to run the red light and she hit them.
She was the one who ended up getting arrested because the passenger on the cab was injured and the cab driver drove off after deceiving everyone that he was stepping away to go get his driver’s license. She was canned for a few weeks until the mess had been deciphered and the passenger on the taxi was claiming more serious injuries than what they really were. To make the story short, the pregnant woman was the one legally liable to pay the injuries since there wasn’t another party to blame.
Many thoughts spin around in my head, I think of how the system works here and in many other countries, it shouldn’t be that difficult. For instance when I asked my two witnesses to testify to my favor, they were hesitant at the beginning because they are labor workers and they’d lose a day of their wages for missing an entire day of work as they don’t have cars and they have to commute by bus. They later accepted because I offered to pay the money that they were going to lose.
I made my point clear that I wasn’t trying to bribe them and that it was only fair that I’d do that for them. They were very grateful and they assured me that they’d be there when they were summoned.
A few days later I went to meet them at the procuraduria so they could give their declaration; I waited, waited and waited until it dawned on me that they were not going to show up. I thought to myself that they had lied to their employer that they had decided to take the day off.
I was on the verge of tears, I was very angry and frustrated because I couldn’t believe they deceived me just like that.
I was very discouraged but I went to look for the again a few days later. One of the said he ended up not making it but the other one said he did go, he waited, he saw me but he wasn’t sure whether I was the right person or not.
I did remember seeing him but I didn’t recognize him so I felt awful but I asked them if they could go again and I offered that man to pay for both days he’d miss. The second time things went fine, they went to declare, I felt a lot more at ease because that helped me a lot.
Almost two months went by after my accident and I still hadn’t been able to get my car out of the corralón, meanwhile I called Bancomer my insurer and my attorney at no avail, all they said was “we have to wait, the case is still being investigated.”
I couldn’t wait any longer so I looked for the top executive at Bancomer and wrote him a 3 page letter of complaint. I told him that I couldn’t believe how inefficient his company was because they had not absolutely nothing about this accident and the last one in December 2008. I also told them that if they didn’t take matters into the issue that I would publish my complaint on all of Mexico’s foreign online magazines newspaper so everyone would find out what a rubbish and inefficient institution they were. I being a journalist, I always get to the bottom of almost everything and this case would not be the exception.
After having delivered the letter personally and also emailing it to two of the top honchos there, I got a reply within 24 hours or less.
They apologized for not being able to resolve anything but according to them there wasn’t much they could do.
To top it off they told me that my car was total loss so they would pay me this ridiculously low amount and that was what did it. They had already written a check for such low amount and I was infuriated, I couldn’t take it anymore so I told them while I ripped the check into small pieces right on their faces.
“Well guess what! I am not going to take this shit amount because my car as it is right now is worth a lot more than that so I want my car to be taken to the repair shop and I want it salvaged, that is the bottom line.
They were not content at all that a woman was screaming their guts out at them and put them in their places. They are not used to consumers speaking out for themselves and much less a single woman.
Here just like in many macho cultures many single women (it doesn’t matter what age you are), we get taken advantage of again and again. That is almost every woman but not me, not in this case. That day I didn’t leave Bancomer’s insurance office until they agreed to salvage my car and send it to the repair shop.
To make the long story short, I immediately cancelled my insurance and closed all my accounts.
So how about driving in Mexico? It’s not always bad unless you run into an irresponsible and negligent driver but it can happen anywhere in this planet so don’t be intimidated.
Driving/auto insurance is only required in very few states in Mexico and in those states, more than 60% of the population there don’t have insurance or a driver’s license.
Those irresponsible drivers could save thousands of many others a lot of time and money.
Many people were always intimidated by Carretera de Chapala, one of Guadalajara’s top most dangerous roads because people drive like maniacs just for the mere pleasure of it. There is a saying in Mexico used for people who fly through the roads. “Parece que va a recibir herencia” it looks like he/she is going to claim his will.
People say, “That road is evil, it is so dangerous! Aren’t you afraid of driving there every day?”
I always answer very abruptly because no, it is not the road itself; it is those who drive as if they are possessed.
I can recall witnessing an accident almost every day in 3 years driving back and forth to El Salto but I always thought “it will never happen to me because I don’t drive like a maniac.”
That was to say until early June when I was driving on kilometro 15 of that road. I was headed to El Salto to teach a class. Being in such a good mood I ignored the fact of getting in a major wreck shortly after I left Tlajomulco.
Little did I know how much my life would change within the many weeks to come only because it occurred to some idiot to cross the road backing up!!
He was coming from the opposite lane of the road when he just happened to drive right through the median and crossed the road on reverse.
I wasn’t looking on the other lane, all I remember was slamming my breaks since this old gray pick up pops out of the nowhere in a heartbeat.
Needless to say, it was too late to avoid running into him even though I veered to the opposite side, he was practically on my face.
One of the many things I’ve learned since I’ve been here is to never trust the fact that you’ve seen it all because when you least expect it, you will see something you’d never even come close to imagining.
It was June 6 driving on Carretera de Chapala at about noon time on the road going towards Miguel Hidalgo airport and to Guadalajara's "Valle del Silicio" The Silicon Valley. I was driving at the speed limit when I suddenly saw a huge object in front of me. I thought, “it’s a bird, it’s a plane, NO! It’s this oaf on a pick-up, he popped out of the median, the dumb ass I couldn’t avoid hitting his ass going on a highway when it is almost impossible to stop when it occurs to people or animals to cross the road just like that.
Bless those poor dogs that get killed when they cross the road. I don’t blame the innocent creatures because they can’t think. Or so I thought and it cracks me up the many times I’ve seen dogs cross pedestrian bridges, it is as if they had a sixth sense.
Just like I am still in awe about many incidents I’ve seen, I didn’t believe the fact that dogs can actually assimilate the danger!
What about all those people who cross the road at the crack of dawn or late at night wearing pitch black tops or pants? I’ve come close to that twice before and thank the Lord it hasn’t happened.I passed out for a few seconds and when I came back there I was in the middle of the road after I spun a few times. I could see many cars coming towards me at over 100 kilometers per hour. I was amazed at how I didn’t get hit while I sat there idly obstructing the road.
The first thing I tried to do was pull over to the side but I was then informed that all vehicles involved in a wreck are not to be moved from the scene of the accident otherwise the possibilities of the party who refuses to obey are higher for him to be at fault.
The man got off his pick up, approached me and blabbered many things that I don't even recall anymore, all I can remember is reading his lips, I could hear a voice far away but I couldn’t put any words together.
I was in shock, in pain, still trying to decipher what had just happened. There I wasI was shaking and couldn't even put my words together so I didn't even get off the car. Finally I grabbed my cell phone and called my insurance company.
I sat in the car for over an hour until the police or my claim adjustor arrived.
While I waited in the car, the man kept telling me to get out, he was saying 100 words per minute, I remember him admitting of being at fault, he demanded that I shouldn’t call the police or my insurer, he suggested that we “take care of the matter” leaving any third party out but I said abruptly NO!
At that moment I didn't even realize that I could've gotten hit by another car which would’ve been awful because people just drive like maniacs on that road.
as I waited for the tow truck, some people who had witnessed the accident approached me and tried to comfort me, they must’ve felt very for me.
Two men kept telling me, “we witnessed everything, don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault, we can testify to your favor”The man got off his pick up and approached me and he was telling me something that I don't recall anymore, all I can remember is reading his lips but I can't exactly recall anything.I was shaking and couldn't even put my words together so I didn't even get off the car, I left it there in the middle of the road until the two truck came, at that moment I didn't even realize that I could've gotten hit by another car and it would've been awful because people just drive like maniacs on that road. While the two-truck came, some people who had witnessed the accident came to me and tried to comfort me as I sat there in awe, not knowing what to do or say.
I hit my chest, my back and my right arm so I was in awful pain but I didn’t want to get off the car because my legs were shaking and I didn’t want to cross the road in that condition.
An hour later when the two-truck finally came, I got off the car got all my belongings from my car so they wouldn’t take them, standing there watching how they towed my car I was almost in tears.
The police and the claim adjustor took the reports, they took pictures of both vehicles, and of the skid marks on the pavement, “el federal” said, “according to the marks, and from your declarations I can tell that the other party was at fault.”
I was relieved only to later find out that they didn’t write this on the police report.
I called a friend of mine who works in El Salto to come get me and so that I could put my belongings in his car. After a long wait, a lot of questioning, a lot of things to clear so to make the story short, both cars were impounded since the other driver didn’t carry insurance or a license and since he didn’t admit being at fault after he had just told me a few minutes before that he was the one who had caused the accident. That is one of many twisted laws in Jalisco, when either one of the drivers is not insured, both vehicles are to be impounded.
And even worse, when someone is seriously injured, when there’s blood at the scene of the accident, both drivers are arrested regardless of who is at fault.
Driving in Jalisco can be such a fun but risky challenge because 60% of the population drive without a license or insurance and Jalisco is the only state in Mexico that requires insurance. I can’t even bare to imagine what it’s like for drivers in the other states.
Needless to say, I didn’t make it to my classes that evening, instead my great friend Jason took me to Hospital Saint Joseph by plaza bonita, I was given an emergency pass to see a therapist after being in so much pain.
I thought something inside me had burst because everything there was burning.
The following three weeks were a real nightmare, all this coming and going between hospitals/clinics because nobody seemed to know which hospital I was assigned to or where I could get checked. I spent almost three weeks going from one clinic to another to have them “continue” my disability.
That is another thing I learned, that here in Mexico they can’t give you disability for more than a week at once, you have to go to IMSS Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social every week in order for the disability benefits to be extended.
Imagine what it’s like to go to many different places by bus, by taxi, walking la procuraduria, la policia estatal, vialidad, tránsito, policia estatal, my insurer, PROFECO, CONDUSEF to see who was responsible of releasing my vehicle and to file a complaint about my insurer not taking full responsibility?
Having an accident anywhere is one of the most unpleasant experiences because not only is it time consuming, but it is energy, money consuming, it is stressful, frustrating, and traumatic.
The following endless days of my life took a completely different route than what I expected. I had to go to therapy; I had some a few minor fractures, my back, my right arm, my neck and chest were bruised and in pain.
Not being able to move, work, drive or work out work made me feel useless. I couldn’t lift anything heavy so my life, my health and my body resented all the down sides that I had so much anxiety, there were many moments when I lost my appetite or and many more moments when I couldn’t sleep.
What can we do when things like this happen in life? What was I to do when everything was out of my control? One of the most difficult things for human beings is when we are out of control in certain situations like having an accident, losing a loved one, etc, What can we do when you are treated like a puppet sending you from one place to another because no one seems to know what the hell they’re doing? When people in those agencies are very unfriendly, they act as if they were annoyed when someone asks them something. As far as I know that is what they are there for but they don’t even come close to being the right candidate for those jobs, one thing they are certainly sure of is that they have power sitting on those rickety chairs hiding behind those outdated computers.
What are we supposed to believe when this happens? Are we supposed to beat that into our heads and believe what the “wonderful” book “The Secret” tells us?
Your thoughts are the result of your actions? Your thoughts attract whatever happens to you; basically you are responsible for whatever happens in your life be it right or wrong.
Are we held responsible for attracting the bad vibes and all those bad-intentioned jerks that have screwed us out in any possible way they are able to?
Are all those thousands of sexually abused children responsible for what happened? Did they strongly believe that it was going to happen and so it did? What about those who get kidnapped? Did they attract the criminals?
If it is so, then before my accident I strongly believed that I’d soon get into a wreck?
Do we have to suck it all in, accept all the injustices in this world, put up with all the bad intentioned jerks and live with it?
More than two months later I was finally able to get my car out of the deposit. After many stupid peoples’ mistakes, they misplaced my file, they filled out the according documents accordingly so that cost me time, effort, money, energy. I called my insurer numerous times but it was useless because they “were unable to do anything” since that is the “normal process.”
It takes them so long to find out who is at fault when after the day of the accident the federal officer stated that according to the evidence the other driver was at fault? There are many small bits and pieces that still don’t make sense to me but if I sat down to decipher the whole mess; it’d be a waste of time.
This accident held many surprises as one of the things I was unaware of was that my insurer is only liable to pay 30 days of my car being at the deposit, everything else came out of my pocket plus I had to pay for the tow-truck and my deductible. What the hell was the purpose of having insurance?
What makes me very angry is that people don’t appreciate their lives, they don’t insure their cars nor do they bother to get a license.
They say they lack the money to afford these things when they spend more on booze than what they spend on milk.
So if you do the math, they spend a lot of money on alcohol then they would on insurance and a license. A license is not a monthly thing, it has to be renewed every four years and it is not expensive at all. It is only $450 pesos (about $40 dollars a year). Imagine that Jalisco is the only state in Mexico where insurance is required!
I went to CONDUSEF (Comisión Nacional para la defensa de los usuarios de las instituciones financieras) to file a complaint; they deal with credit card holders when they are not entitled to their rights , auto insurance holders and they protect financial service user’s rights. That is their job or so I thought but the first thing they told me was “Well, the accident happened over a month ago,” “so you might be better off waiting since it’s been a while. Your matter will be defined before your complaint goes through so your best bet is to wait.
I was so disgusted when they told me this so of course I blew out on these people!
In a perfect world, I wouldn’t want to get into another wreck but we live in such an imperfect world filled with psycho drivers so all I do is pray that if it ever happens again, please God, “let it be with someone who is insured so I don’t have to go through hell again!”
This world can really be a bitch but we can’t not let it get to us, we must continue with our frustration, pain and our good and not so good moments. Life is about learning from our mistakes and other peoples’ mistakes too but we have to keep moving and stay positive and loving so things can work out.
We have to let all the bad moments go and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around us; ups and downs are part of humanity.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard we try to be better human beings, we are surrounded by evil-intentioned people so I ask myself, is it worthwhile to even try being a better person?
Every morning when I wake up one of the things I do is ponder on many things in life.
June went to Saint Joseph Hospital to get checked
Was resting at home, calling the insurance company and everyone else to make all the arrangements for my accident
June 22 IMSS Clinica 55 Ninos Heroes
June 23 IMSS Clinica 91 El Cerezo, went to El Salto to see about getting car released, go to vialidad, go to policia federal, go to Saint Joseph Hospital
June 24 IMSS Clinica 91 again to get disability documents arranged, turned in disability form, Oliver refused to sign it, Roberto computer tech picked up my laptop to replace the top since it broke with the impact
Went to therapy all this week at Saint Joseph Hospital
June 25 IMSS Clinica 55 Ninos Heroes
June 26 Tlajmulco procuraduría
June 29 IMSS Clinica 91 El Cerezo
June 30 Clinica 55 Ninos Heroes, they didn’t have me registered, I registered long ago
July 1st went to ICI Had slight argument with Oliver, went to Tlajomulco procuraduria again to see about getting car released
July 2nd went to IMSS in Santa Tere to get my IMSS card but it was not given to me
July 3rd was really sick, I got food poisoning so I was dying from these horrible cramps.
Went to therapy all this week
July 6 IMSS Clinica 55 follow up, the jerk off who caused the accident came to threaten me.
July 7 Tlajomulco procuradia. Procuraduria in zona industrial to file report against that crazy man but they stated they couldn’t do anything since he didn’t try to kill me.
July 8 IMSS Clinica 92 check process of dissability
July 9 Tlajomulco procuraduria
July 10 IMSS Clinica 92 medicina del trabajo
July 13 IMSS Clinica 55
July 14 conciliacion y arbitraje to sue O
July 15 Conciliacion again
July 16 IMSS Clinica 55 pickup disability check
July 17 Go back to IMMS for follow up
By mid June I had lost track of how when things happened because every single day seemed never ending, it was all about going here, going there, oh, we can’t find your file, we don’t have anything on record, go to the police department, go the federal police, go here, go there, oh there was a confusion, oh the person who needs to authorize/sign this document is out today, or show up first thing tomorrow, oh he won’t arrive until after one, oh, we forgot to tell you this.
IMSS (Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social) is another big mess. Within a short time span I learned a lot more things than I normally do. IMMS doesn’t issue a disability slip for more than 7 days at once so we have to go every single week in order for them to authorize disability benefits. Not convenient!
Since I always investigate matters that the majority of the population doesn’t, I asked many people at no avail, nobody was able to give me a valid answer, “that’s the way it’s always been and that’s the bottom line.”
At that point I was extremely frustrated and anxious, I felt like I had to do something so I made an appointment with a lawyer apart from the one I had through my insurance company because it seemed like he was not getting anywhere. After waiting for about 30 minutes, he finally showed up and looked at me lustfully from head to toe I ignored it though thinking that I was just being paranoid after all that mess I was in. We went into his office, sat down and I put it out to him and as I kept going he was scanning me up and down. I don’t think he was paying attention to what I said and much less did he care. So he suddenly blurts this out “so, when can I pick you up so we can go to lunch?” I ignored and kept going, a few minutes later he said the same thing.
I got fed up so I got up and left, I was very frustrated because I ended up wasting more time, energy and money.
So as I was leaving he asked again, “so let me know when can I can come over to your place so we can watch a film.”
Needless to say I never again went back to get advice from that filthy dirty minded man. I have always respected other people, especially their space, their bodies; when someone looks at me like that, as if I were a piece of meat with nothing in my brain or as if I were going to accept being fined and dined in a heart-beat and go on with the game of being “seduced” as part of the kind payment for their generosity of an expensive dinner. Many men think like that, the fact that they have a decent job and/or money every single woman is going to fall for that type of crap, well, I am not in that category.
I started feeling after this accident, a lot stronger, a lot more ready if in case I go through this again – I really hope that I don’t. I won’t be as vulnerable; I’ll be more prepared mentally.
Looking back at two occasions when I kept going around between el salto, la policia federal, la policia estatal, la procuraduria, you name it, I was so frustrated and angry to have to go around in circles and having to commute by bus that I accepted a ride from two different men two different times.
It was very freaky but I was desperate. It I wouldn’t have been in such desperate need I would’ve never done that.
The first time I did I was sitting at the policia federal to get this document signed in order for my car to get released from the corralon, I had gone the day before but I had to go pay a speeding ticket I got. Yes, on top of that a speeding ticket of which I was never notified until that day. “They said, come back at 7 tomorrow.”
So there I was at 7am on a Tuesday, 8, 9, 10, 12, 1pm came and the person who had to signed such document wasn’t there so by that time I was in flames. While I waited there was another man who had gone through something similar we talked the whole morning. When the document was finally signed it was too late for me to get there on time by bus so the man offered me a ride, I got chills on my entire body because I didn’t know this man but I was in desperate need to get there on time.
To make it worse, when we got to his car the man pulls out a huge bottle of whisky from a “hielera” ice chest.
I panicked so I asked him “What are you drinking?” and he replied nonchalantly “a small shot of whisky to cool down”
Number one, it wasn’t a shot number two, it wasn’t even hot!
the 40 minute drive that I rode with that man felt endless, he just jugged down that huge cup of straight vodka so by the time we got to the junker, he was already wasted, I was praying that he would not drive off somewhere else to rape and kill me. I was almost in tears that I made it safe and sound.
The second time it happened, I was at the junker trying to get my car released again because the document was addressed to the wrong place/person so I had to waste another whole day to go back.
There were two men and the same thing happened, I was waiting, waiting and waiting so these men worked at the police office in el salto so I didn’t get such bad feeling about them. Even though I didn’t feel 100% (you never know when you’ll find a psycho) they gave me a better feeling than the man from the previous time.
I had never done something like that before and never again will I do it.
Not to mention I had been feeling very sensitive and vulnerable because one of the many times that I was walking, coming back from the hospital, the police department or other places I was sent to, something I would’ve never imagined happened.
I was walking on a small street, it must have been shortly after 8pm when this man on a motorcycle pulled over and asked me how to get to “el centro” the center, I told him to keep going straight and he’d get there within another 10 minute ride and I kept walking. On the next street, he came out again and asked me the same thing; I thought to myself, this man must be really stupid because I just told him. So I told him and kept walking, another street later, he popped out again and at that point I was extremely annoyed because he got on my nerves, I didn’t even bother to stop so he tapped on my shoulder and as I turned around I was ready to scream at him when I look he was exposing himself right then and there. Yes! I couldn’t believe my eyes, he actually had his pants and underwear down! I was disgusted so as I tried to walk away he pushed me down, luckily I didn’t fall but I stumbled and so he got really close to me and grabbed me but I fought as hard as I could and then I stormed away. Those few seconds were one of the few worst moments of my life because I thought I was going to get raped.
It is one of my biggest fears and I do not wish that upon anyone. I don’t know how I pulled through that, many times I woke up in the middle of the night because I had nightmares; I dreamt that I was being raped.
It was hard to get myself together after all that mess but I did, I lived to tell it all.
Many things happened in such a period of time, at times it was too much to handle. Someone once told me that whatever doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.
I won’t even waste my time or energy writing about my employer, all I can say is that the man I worked for is a crook, a sleazy and shady “business” man.
IMSS (Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social) guess what kind of support I got from them after applying for disability benefits!?
I only got 30% of my salary, if even that. I had never lost as much money as I did with this accident that I didn’t cause but it took so long for the investigations to go through and for my car to be released because it turned out that the man (the other driver) changed the story, on his declaration, he stated that I had caused the accident. I was in shock when I read the report, he said that I was driving behind him and I tried to cut in front of him that is why I hit him!
Not only was he a liar but he was a macho coward as well. He got my address how? I later found out that “the police department” gave it to him. That’s what they do when either one of the parties involved want to come to an agreement. So this coward asked for my address so we could come to an agreement without having the police involved.
So they gave him my address without even hesitating or stopping to think that he could’ve killed me!
Needless to say, he came to my house, he used a very sleazy tactic when he rang the door bell. I picked up the interphone and he said he needed physical therapy, he found a flyer for a gym so he thought I was a physical therapist. So when I stepped out he came really close to me, got on my face and tried to intimidate me. He said “I came to get my money for the accident that you caused and I need it now otherwise you will have to pay the consequences”
I could hardly move with a neck brace, a back brace and a neck brace but I managed to push him away and scream my guts out. So I called the security guards next door and he literally ran off.
Perhaps that taught him a lesson. The next day I went and filed a restraining order against him but I was told that they couldn’t do anything because he hadn’t hurt my physically. So in other words, he needed to kill me so they would’ve stepped in.
That was revolting, not getting the support I wanted from the police, it gave me this sense of insecurity, I had never felt so unsafe and vulnerable.
I never went back to that place because I found it pointless to waste my time there when they were not going to take action.
This man made me waste so much time, energy, money that I will never in my life will I forget the bitter taste I was left with.
I had never gone through such a nightmare! when I look back and think of how I was able to pull through all this mess, all that time I kept telling myself, it could be worse, it could be worse especially after I heard many terrible stories like the one where a pregnant young woman was driving when this taxi driver decided to run the red light and she hit them.
She was the one who ended up getting arrested because the passenger on the cab was injured and the cab driver drove off after deceiving everyone that he was stepping away to go get his driver’s license. She was canned for a few weeks until the mess had been deciphered and the passenger on the taxi was claiming more serious injuries than what they really were. To make the story short, the pregnant woman was the one legally liable to pay the injuries since there wasn’t another party to blame.
Many thoughts spin around in my head, I think of how the system works here and in many other countries, it shouldn’t be that difficult. For instance when I asked my two witnesses to testify to my favor, they were hesitant at the beginning because they are labor workers and they’d lose a day of their wages for missing an entire day of work as they don’t have cars and they have to commute by bus. They later accepted because I offered to pay the money that they were going to lose.
I made my point clear that I wasn’t trying to bribe them and that it was only fair that I’d do that for them. They were very grateful and they assured me that they’d be there when they were summoned.
A few days later I went to meet them at the procuraduria so they could give their declaration; I waited, waited and waited until it dawned on me that they were not going to show up. I thought to myself that they had lied to their employer that they had decided to take the day off.
I was on the verge of tears, I was very angry and frustrated because I couldn’t believe they deceived me just like that.
I was very discouraged but I went to look for the again a few days later. One of the said he ended up not making it but the other one said he did go, he waited, he saw me but he wasn’t sure whether I was the right person or not.
I did remember seeing him but I didn’t recognize him so I felt awful but I asked them if they could go again and I offered that man to pay for both days he’d miss. The second time things went fine, they went to declare, I felt a lot more at ease because that helped me a lot.
Almost two months went by after my accident and I still hadn’t been able to get my car out of the corralón, meanwhile I called Bancomer my insurer and my attorney at no avail, all they said was “we have to wait, the case is still being investigated.”
I couldn’t wait any longer so I looked for the top executive at Bancomer and wrote him a 3 page letter of complaint. I told him that I couldn’t believe how inefficient his company was because they had not absolutely nothing about this accident and the last one in December 2008. I also told them that if they didn’t take matters into the issue that I would publish my complaint on all of Mexico’s foreign online magazines newspaper so everyone would find out what a rubbish and inefficient institution they were. I being a journalist, I always get to the bottom of almost everything and this case would not be the exception.
After having delivered the letter personally and also emailing it to two of the top honchos there, I got a reply within 24 hours or less.
They apologized for not being able to resolve anything but according to them there wasn’t much they could do.
To top it off they told me that my car was total loss so they would pay me this ridiculously low amount and that was what did it. They had already written a check for such low amount and I was infuriated, I couldn’t take it anymore so I told them while I ripped the check into small pieces right on their faces.
“Well guess what! I am not going to take this shit amount because my car as it is right now is worth a lot more than that so I want my car to be taken to the repair shop and I want it salvaged, that is the bottom line.
They were not content at all that a woman was screaming their guts out at them and put them in their places. They are not used to consumers speaking out for themselves and much less a single woman.
Here just like in many macho cultures many single women (it doesn’t matter what age you are), we get taken advantage of again and again. That is almost every woman but not me, not in this case. That day I didn’t leave Bancomer’s insurance office until they agreed to salvage my car and send it to the repair shop.
To make the long story short, I immediately cancelled my insurance and closed all my accounts.
So how about driving in Mexico? It’s not always bad unless you run into an irresponsible and negligent driver but it can happen anywhere in this planet so don’t be intimidated.
Driving/auto insurance is only required in very few states in Mexico and in those states, more than 60% of the population there don’t have insurance or a driver’s license.
Those irresponsible drivers could save thousands of many others a lot of time and money.
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