Being true to myself

Being true to myself

February 9, 2014

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

Early last year I met a young man ten years my junior whom I really liked as a friend and whom I coincided at the gym with a few times. That friendship didn’t last long because I was forced to cut all ties with him due to the fact that he was interested in something else, not a steady relationship, he only wanted to have casual and random physical encounters. At the beginning I couldn’t find a way to tell him that I wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship but once he started getting pushy, I was very uncomfortable and had to be up front about telling him that I wasn’t interested even in his friendship. That was the end of it.

Later in 2013 I met another very decent man whom I didn’t have any interest other than interviewing him to post an article about him and the turn out was the same. I kept wondering for a while why he had come on to me like that. He made it clear that he was physically attracted to me BUT he could not and did not want to be in any type of commitment, he only wanted to have intransigent encounters. After a few text messages I received from him asking me if he could come over, I felt pressured and thought, “How insulting! At this point in life I cannot let anybody pressure or force me into doing something I don’t want! How insolent have a lot of men become because sadly many women welcome it and permit it!”

This past Monday I went to lunch with someone I met in March of last year whom I totally clicked with and who I was inseparable with for a couple of days. He claimed that he wanted to be in a serious relationship. He was everything every woman could’ve asked for. Sweet, polite, charming, generous, good looking, athletic body, never been married before, no baggage, CEO of his own company at thirty six. A few times I believed that perhaps such well accomplished man and I could get to know each other but in reality he was only visiting. Prior to Monday when I had lunch with him, when I learned about him visiting once again, I was caught off guard for a number of reasons. Once we saw each other, neither one of us showed as much interest as the year before. Not specially after I was told that he was only interested in “dating” different people because he gets “easily” bored.

The word D-A-T-I-N-G makes me cringe when it crosses my mind because I have never been able to decipher the real meaning behind it. Does it entail to only go out for a drink with different people different days of the week, does it entail kissing and making out with James on Friday night, with  Erick on Saturday evening and back up my weekend outings with a make out session with Oscar? Does it involve having a romp in the sack (like they vulgarly say?) with Christian, or how about a wild session with Alexandro in between the sheets? Maybe submissively and willingly sharing my body with Anthony without expecting absolutely anything in return and wait till the next time any one of them has the urge once again?

That would NOT be me! 

Sometimes human behavior makes me doubt whether I am going against the current at all odds or maybe I am the odd one? Maybe I am too old fashioned? At the same time I think how insolent some men are to open such big mouths to ask women for something very private and unique without any commitment. Perhaps I could have been stupid or easy to manage when I was younger but at this point in life N-O-H!

Throughout time I have learned to be true to myself even when the majority of humans have let values fall through the cracks. Why should I be daunted to tell the truth? Why should I scoop to that level and give my body like a worthless piece of meat? The man of my dreams is lying ahead somewhere along the line but in the mean time, I won’t recur to momentary pleasure because at the end of the day when I have a face-off with myself in the mirror, I will feel more empty, alone, lonely, forgotten, used and abandoned. Therefore, Jason, Mario, Thomas, Jack, Scott can keep looking for other women who would be more than glad to disrespect their bodies at their will...

Corinthians 6:19-20

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

I don’t want to be like the article I just read last night:

My friend with benefits was just a good round of routine maintenance for the plumbing.

For all you beautiful women out there feeling somewhat "invisible" and perhaps can relate to one or more of the emotions I've been going through, remember that it's not you. I know I'm completely "normal" in every aspect (even though I can be "Abby-normal" on many occasions) and yet I often feel invisible. It just reminds you that the one worth waiting for will not overlook you but jump at the opportunity to be with you. You won't be his "option" but his diamond in the rough, finally washed up on his shore.