Health vs. Weight Loss vs. vanity

Health vs. Weight Loss vs. vanity

August 3rd, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

Yesterday was a reaffirmation that my knee is not quite ready to alternate between a high-intensity cross fit routine and a hard core sprint training session yet. Things seemed to be going well until the day before today when my operated knee started throbbing early afternoon and went on till about nine or ten p. m. when I finally managed to stay still. My right calf was in pain, both my ankles and soles were sore for an unknown reason. Had I gone to the gym, I would’ve blamed it on that. This physical unsettledness has been ongoing for more than a year which makes health, wellness and fitness seem as a far away mirage. 

After the fourteenth I’ll have a chance to seek other alternatives such as an acupuncturist who I won’t hesitate to reach out to, to get the the bottom of this never-ending ailment that is robbing me from sleep and peace of mind. I want my fears to be assuaged and be assured that I will reach wholeness once again without permitting my demanding and competitive nature to force me to do more than what my body can do. 

Today I felt better but not 100% well yet. That’s why this physical setback’s got me trying to nail down the main issue in desperate search of a, “You will be ok real soon,” assertion. Although I am not there yet, I’ve been approached by different people to help them accomplish their goal and despite trying, I feel like I am not giving the best of me because of this impediment. I cannot do a complete full force workout which leads me to unmotivation. I am caught a midst mixed emotions. Part of me tells me that I am not the best role model, and part of me tells me not to give up. 

Earlier today before putting on a diet plan for marathon runner, J. R. M., one of the people who sought my advice, I got curious and did something I never had to feel at ease. Through my wonderful friend’s help (google), I checked what my horoscope, numerology, the Chinese Zodiac and the Mayan Astrology foresee for me health-wise at no avail. 

The Chinese Zodiac didn’t necessarily answer my doubts but I got this:

Positives: Kind, sensitive, wise, astute, docile, thoughtful, refined. Negatives: Moody, detached, cunning, possessive, fussy, snobbish.

The Mayan Astrology didn’t have THE answer to ameliorate my fears either but this it described my personality:

You epitomize beauty and ideals. You can get your head lost in the clouds, dreaming about what could be and how you can make life better for all. You're the type of person others want to know, both platonically and romantically. People have high expectations of you because you hold great power. Focus on providing love and compassion to others, and don't give into pressure to be perfect. If you hold too strongly to your "best case scenarios" you will often find yourself disappointed or disappointing others. Live in the moment and worry less about the future - you are naturally giving a lot to the world as you are.

Numerology was very unclear as well, this is all I could get:

Today's vibrations will make you once again hypersensitive...They will help you to see things in depth and put you in a psychically febrile state which will tend to exasperate you. You may be a little rough with your family and friends. So be prudent in your relationships.Put a brake on any ideas that are too abstract and concentrate on your relationships with your family and friends. Be conciliatory and everything will go well!

My horoscope told me a little more but didn’t pacify my restless mind either:

Sagittarius Personality: Inquisitive and energetic, the Sagittarius is the traveler of the Zodiac. Their philosophical, broad-minded approach to life motivates them to wander far and wide in the search for the meaning of life. Extroverted, optimistic, and enthusiastic, it can be almost impossible to keep the Sagittarius down. They love change. In fact, change is essential for this sign to feel their best.

Where I was trying to get with this search was to find proof that I will be ok sooner rather than later BUT first and foremost, I have to reverse the coin and change my mentality. Look at the whole picture, think it thoroughly, balance things out and change the order from most to least important: Health vs. weight loss vs. vanity. 

Ten, fifteen years ago, my superficial and egocentric self lucidly emphasized the most important without even analyzing the situation: Vanity vs. weight loss vs. health. Many years later and through the expertise I've gained, things cannot, will not and must not ever be like that once again. It is part of the human process, to live and enjoy our youth and grow and except that our engine cannot perform like it did long ago.

Where I stand right now: My body has lost 90% muscle, according to my standards, there’s A LOT of flab all around. As the high-rendering athlete I’ve always been, I am at a three, ten being the best. I can be critical at every single second, complain and detest at the image that looks right back at me in the mirror and get frustrated. On the other hand, I am very content with all the physical accomplishments I’ve left behind, that is why I will not push and hurt my temple any further. I accept my nature and the law of life, there's no turning back...

'God always forgives, man sometimes forgives, but nature never forgives.'