My
story, My book
Why
I’ve been on an extended hiatus
October
7, 2016
By:
Gina Yoryet Román
These words resonated
very directly, intensely and clearly in my mind during my solitary stroll last
Saturday and Sunday. I spent a whole two days with Me, Myself and I. My first
and foremost reason was to unclutter my mind, to distance myself from certain
toxic and demoralizing individuals that will do anything to sabotage one’s
serenity because deep down they are very miserable, and last but not least, I
wanted to pray and shake off the stranger within that has carved itself very
deeply into me and won’t give up the ship.
The stranger inside has got me in gridlock. I let it forsake who I am. In a moment of weakness I let myself be dominated by an
intruder, an uninvited person, yet someone I have known all my life. The
someone that can control me if I don't pray, stay hopeful and shield and nurture myself with a healthy
environment. It is cynical to imply
that this outsider has ravaged me from head to toe. It is very narcissistic to
sit here and let my “inner” turmoil rob me from my peace, and hope for a
“better” moment when I have let me be consumed by everything and everyone else.
Today when I went for
another lone walk, I realized that what seems to be fractured inside of me,
will get salvaged once I set my mind, heart and soul into it and bounce back.
Through that restoration I will find my real objective. I also substantiated the
palpability of every single event that took me here and
my current circumstances. It all entails to nothing more than my feebleness. Every unfavorable event has been linked to
another; my lack of motivation to work out, the anxiety stirred by that, my
unwillingness to control my unexplained cravings, the struggle with my weight, the
state of uncertainty as for our future, the loss of Victoria Esperanza, a few
aging issues. Outlining it all in a nutshell; Spiritual, emotional, personal,
physical, professional, financial, setbacks.
I once said that at this
given point in life, I could not allow myself to fail any of these aspects,
yet, I have, not only one, but all of them. Me, Myself, and I, are standing at
at a crossroad impaired of a clear vision of where to go and what to do next. I
am unclear of where to go next, all I know is that I yearn for Gina Yoryet, the one with extensive body sculpting experience. The one who helps women lose
weight and reshape their bodies. The one who lived in her own writerly world,
the one who always sought writing as a therapy, the one with a strong mind and a resilient body. The one with an unyielding faith.
Today was an indicator
to slowly start claiming who I am. Now is the time to stop forsaking me because
the real me has revealed itself and me wants to be me again. Feel beautiful, be
at peace and ease with myself, stand up for who I am, and claim my ABC’s. Keep
in mind that there is always hope as long as the circumstances are within my control.
I will get there by
writing and changing me and the world around me.
Because...
This is MY life…
MY story…
MY book…
I will NO longer let anyone else write
it;
nor will I apologize for the edits I
make
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