It almost seems unreal

It almost seems unreal

December 7, 2013

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

unscathed by bitterness

I was saddened to learn about Nelson Mandela’s death on December 5th because he was one of the most influential men in the world. His death has with no doubt touched and impacted the whole globe and left us all mourning forever. 

Another death that came to remind me that we don’t own our life, and that humans are only passing through this world temporarily, was that of the late Paul Walker, actor of The Fast and the Furious movies. 

Michelle Rodriguez posted this warm dedication to him,

"What happens when kindness begins to depart the planet one by one? Is there enough time to learn, evolve, do something, in-between the extinction of kindness and our stint of a lifetime ... mortality makes me realize life is not just accumulated moments and memories, some people touch your soul and make you see unconditional love in all its innocence. In my eyes, Those kind people, are the most powerful forces on the planet ;) You can't run away from feeling Empathy or a sense of mystery in Life can you?"

When mortality comes to mind, it makes me draw back and realize that tomorrow is too late for anything. In the wake of grandma Mary Lou’s passing on January 26, 2012, I learned that one of the most challenging missions in life is changing ourselves. Making mistakes is part of our growth, yet many times we take our loved ones for grated. We get hurt by one another and we let pride subdue us. We let our brain dominate our emotions because our heart has been very badly wounded and we can’t let that happen again. 

For me, the act of forgiveness is a miracle come to life, real and eternal love, when two people can overcome all of life’s obstacles hand in hand conquering the world just like grandma Mary Lou and grandpa Hal did since they committed to their vows until death parted them. Before, I used to hold a grudge on everyone about the littlest issues until I I first learned about the act of acquitting offenses through those two dearly loved beings. Last year I was taught another lesson about the act of dissolution  through another dearly loved and close person in my life.

Thirteen years of marriage, two children, all the support and the life she devoted to her husband were not enough to avoid being betrayed and wounded. Little did she know that she’d be entrapped in a profound catch-22 and it would take her a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every single time I heard her sobbing during our phone conversations, I got choked up because our bond is so strong that I really felt it. Yet all those times I had to bite my tongue to avoid telling her to put an end to that relationship. 

She instead sought for God, therapy and decided to fight for them by changing and fixing particular things she had forgotten because she loved him. Her reasoning was, “I love him and tomorrow if one of us were to die, it it will be too late. Life is too short to be resenting others. Why do human beings always choose the fastest way when we are hurt? I am not perfect and I have hurt him too so I am taking 50% of the blame and I choose to stick with him.”

When I close my eyes and think about all that wise advice, I still get emotional, because it almost seems unreal that their hearts are unscathed by bitterness after all that pain. When I hear Hal sobbing on the phone, the emptiness in his voice echoes through my ear but he is not sour to have lost my dear grandmother. 

These two people have touched my soul very deeply and have taught me about unconditional love, the unequivocal love of God which I’ve never had through a human being because I’ve never been given a second chance...