Betraying my nature
June 23rd, 2013
By: Gina Yoryet Roman
After coming down with a venous insufficiency (I still have to write about this in further depth), It has not been easy to integrate a veggie based diet five or six times a week given the fact that I dislike them. As hard as it is for some to believe, verdures have always made me pout my lips (not because I am posing or because I want to be kissed) and get a sullen look while swallowing them. The truth is that I LOVE low quality food, especially potato chips, cookies, candy, sugar flavoured water, chocolate, ice cream, bread, gum, and all kinds of sweets and detrimental fuel for my body. Aha! I am honestly NOT making this up, this issue has been a lifetime battle. Given this weakness, I have overturned that to...let’s say finding a balance. I believe in NOT depriving myself (because life is too short from not eating or doing what I like, so I instead am very alert on the frequency and portions but overall I try to keep moving to burn more than what I consume.
I have always known that everything revolves around sacrifice but more so in consequence of this painful and excruciating experience that I never thought to go through. Prior to this illness, that “I will start integrating veggies to my diet tomorrow,” never came. Therefore in a way I am ‘glad’ to have had a face-off with a health decline to bear upon with others who are going through much more serious illnesses but cannot pull through. Through this vicissitude I’ve been able to see and feel other people’s pain more intensely, directly and clearly but I cannot stop being grateful that unlike those many others, there’s hope for me.
This temporary physical hindrance was some sort of a wake up call to NEVER AGAIN BETRAY MY NATURE. What I mean by that is that health enthusiasts and previous professional athletes like me cannot forsake our health and our most valuable asset, our engine. Physical movement and a healthy diet (NOT useless diets of depriving oneself from everything temporarily) are an item, a couple, a two sided coin, a duo, a combination, a mix, a pair, a backup, a match, a team, a group, a combo, a connection, a union, a joint, a partnership, a conjunction, an affiliation, an agreement, an alliance, an association, a parallelism, a coordination, a two-sided mirror, a reflection, an accordance, a team, a kinship, a pact, a co-existence, a connection that go hand in hand along with other actions that we have to forfeit after choosing a healthy lifestyle.
For example, making my crack of dawn work outs, when 80 or 90% of the population worldwide chooses to sleep in a little longer because they are too tired or because they ‘lack the will power to just do it,’ I decide to fuel myself with a shot of energy that ONLY my workouts give me. Otherwise when I don’t do it, I turn into an ugly monster that I can’t even stand myself.
The same scenario applies every time I opt to skip a movie because I’d rather post, this soothes my mind and I don’t feel at a loss. Or many times when I can go out for a drink or spend the whole afternoon with friends, I incline towards doing volunteer work instead because it feeds my soul, I feel useful and it gives me a sense of direction.
I have to constantly keep fighting against the inner negative voice within. That shrieking voice asking me if the ‘sacrifices’ I do are worth my while. I choose to shut it down temporarily and act based upon my nature. I cannot and will NEVER again betray my nature by feeding my temple with the wrong fuel every day. I will definitely have my cheat days but consuming veggies daily from a few weeks on has been a MUST. I have to re-train myself physically and mentally and reflect on what I am willing to give up in order to gain a positive long-term outcome.
I will not stop working out, praying, reading, writing, doing volunteer work, and working because that is the right fuel to feed the demanding woman I have become.
Shauna Niequist
“If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.”
Charles Bukowski, Factotum
A sacrifice you make today
Will never ever be gone
A sacrifice you make today
Will soon be passed on
A sacrifice you make today
Will stay in many hearts
A sacrifice you make today
Help many play their parts
A sacrifice you make today
Will never be forgotten
A sacrifice you make today
Will never be mistaken
A sacrifice you make today
May even change history
A sacrifice you make today
May be kept in someone’s memory
A sacrifice you make today
Might light someone’s day up
A sacrifice you make today
Might fill someone’s dry cup
A sacrifice you make today
Will always be treasured
A sacrifice you make today
Will always be remembered
Anders Lim
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