Beating the odds
I’m going down but I’m not going
down without a fight
June 8, 2013
By: Gina Yoryet Roman
I am icebound right now while struggling to come up with ideas to post (I’ve got about twenty ideas lined up because of the infrequency of writing due to my overwhelmingly exhausting agenda for the last couple of weeks but I will take each one at once).
My mind cannot be pulled away from the never ending pain that re-appeared on my operated knee (not sure what re-triggered it) and the new health issue I’ve been dealing with. My arteries are clogged (Atherosclerosis) causing swelling and soreness on both my calves which make simple things like walking and standing up almost unbearable (I will write about this in further depth when I am more together and once I’ve gotten my mojo back). There go all my tips and advice I’ve been giving to my students and attendees at the ‘What a Writer Needs' workshop I gave last Friday May 31st.
Before getting started, I quickly recurred to this link one of my sisters sent me after she heard me whining about all the physical hurt I’ve been experiencing since right after Easter break.
May 29th, 2013 | Posted by Cathe Laurie
“Just a short time ago I was taking the morning to be still, making a break from the normal routines. I’d like to say it was because I am so sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Well, sometimes the Holy Spirit has means we are unaware of. I was resting that day because it was a restless night.
So on that morning, I sat listening because I had an annoying painful injury; this time it’s my right knee. It happened, ironically, because I was trying to stay in shape. I know, I know, I should do these things with more caution at my age.
You may have heard the old joke: you know you are old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work! I will admit I am falling apart. It is funny how today we rage against the inevitable reality of getting old.
I have a friend who would often say, “I know I am going down, but I’m not going down without a fight.” We’d laughed because . . . because we were young and thought, “We will be different; we’ll beat the odds. We will be like Louis Zamperini skateboarding at 90.” Today, we might not laugh as hard. Fighting or not, we are going to fall apart.
I have another (wiser) friend who, when dealing with the many “issues” her body has presented recently, simply admits, “The rubber bands (tendons, ligaments, and stuff that sprains so easily) are wearing out.” Amen, sister.
Thankfully, my body isn’t all that I am! I have a soul that lives in this tent that has seen better days. I have often heard that “a Bible that is falling apart often belongs to a life that isn’t.” So while the old rubber bands are indeed wearing out, and the ice bag on my knee needs changing, I can rejoice that the most important things in my life will only get stronger and more beautiful in time.
Unfortunately, the means of becoming someone beautiful in God’s eyes can be painful—so painful we may be tempted to throw in the towel. But God’s plan to make us into the image of His own dear Son is relentless. He will chase us down and insist we stay with His program. We know He loves us, even when we don’t feel it.
There’s a very high, holy word we use to describe the process of becoming beautiful in His eyes. It is called sanctification. God intends to make us like Himself because He knows it is the only way we will be truly holy, truly happy.
But don’t let this big theological word fly over your heads. It is intensely practical. Ask your family, and your close friends, and you will know exactly the state of your sanctification.
Perhaps you think to be sanctified (i.e., holy) means spending hours on our knees or poring over ancient Greek and Hebrew commentaries. Maybe. We certainly all could afford to spend more time praying and studying. And this may indeed be a means God will use to sanctify us. But not necessarily. In 1 Thessalonians 4:1–12, Paul tells us how he expected sanctification would look to a watching world:
- True believers will make a clean break with immorality (verse 3). Interesting, isn’t it, that it begins in such tangible, traceable ways as this?
- They won’t take advantage of a brother or sister (verse 6).
- They will be receptive to instruction and correction from others and God’s Word (verse 8).
- They will love and care for one another (verse 9).
- They will make it an ambition to lead a quiet life (verse 11). Now that is a novel thought. Often we get addicted to living for the next thrill, the next excitement . . . The energy water sold to us is called Monster, Red Bull, Venom—everything is bigger, faster.
- Believers should work hard and be busy minding their own business. If we do these things we will win the respect of others! (verse 12).
We can be confident we have a Savior who has prayed, and still prays, for our sanctification (read John 17). Here is a just snippet of that prayer Jesus prayed:
My prayer is not that you take them (insert your name) out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
So today, in one sense, some things are falling apart. But today, as I meditate over the wonder and means of my sanctification, things should be pulling together beautifully.”
I am unbeknownst to Cathe Laurie’s age but I can fully resonate with her pain because just when I thought I was pulling together, I started falling apart physically once again. Just last night I came close to having a nervous break down when I got home because I no longer knew how to deal with the long-lasting pain. Right when I was on the verge of tears I got myself together and started doing a mix of prayers, questioning, complaining and cursing.
That dramatic short-lasting episode last night was my drive to get to the bottom of it.
Therefore after investigating what causes clogged arteries my frustration and discomposture only increased because according to what I read on health.com, “Although the exact trigger of atherosclerosis is unknown, researchers suspect that the process begins with damage to the inner wall of the artery (which can be caused by high cholesterol, hypertension, or cigarette smoking, among others). Over time, cholesterol, calcium, and other substances accumulate in the wall of the artery and form fatty deposits called plaques. The narrower artery opening limits blood flow. Many factors can contribute to atherosclerosis: high cholesterol, a poor diet, obesity, smoking, too much alcohol, a sedentary lifestyle.
I admit that low quality food (junk food) has been my decadence. Candy, potato chips, and all kinds of sweets pay a frequent visit to my covert but I stay away from fried food, bread, tortilla and oil excess. Since I came down with Atherosclerosis (it still has to be defined by my doctor next Friday when I meet with him) I’ve had a cleaner diet, vegetables are daily servings now, I’ve re-integrated oat meal, I’ve continued exercising; indoor and outdoor running, elliptical or bike with low resistance, knee therapy exercises, arm and ab work about three times a week or depending on my energy level. My knee issue and my deficient arteries are very emotionally and physically draining so for the first time in my life, I’ve been constantly struggling to get on my feet and barely squeeze in two or three workout sessions a week.
I’ve been am at my lowest physical ever for about a year so at the end of the day looks don’t matter to me anymore. Right now it will have to take a lot of prioritizing to reach wholeness again. I know that amidst these dark moments the light at the end of the tunnel seems more like a mirage, when I am one step away physical wellness, another obstacle bends me temporarily. I will have to give more value to my life and health in order to gain long-term benefit. I will have to be more disciplined than ever to incorporate an even cleaner diet, I will have to make a bigger effort to remain positive and be mentally stronger to keep telling myself, “You will pull through this.” I will have to force myself to start saying “No” to ongoing projects and dedicate more “me” time to unwind. I will have to “stop caring” about not having complied with a fitness deadline (to create one of my Victories), I will have to pull my best effort to be more devoted to praying, writing, reading, working out, and handling all my work responsibilities despite the inner havoc.
There will have to be many changes in my life for my betterment. Notwithstanding I’ll have to reach out and do everything necessary to reencounter emotional and physical balance once again. Overall I want to find my purpose through this agonizing episode to continue being an immortal and continue living my affairs. I want to pull myself together to avoid falling apart.
Jesus Stills a Storm
35 On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." 36 And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. 37 And a great storm of wind arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. 38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care if we perish?" 39 And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 He said to them, "Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?" 41 And they were filled with awe, and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?"
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