I’ve developed a serious addiction…

I’ve developed a serious addiction…
September 27, 2011
By: Gina Yoryet Roman

“What can I do to lose the flab on my arms? I need to get rid of my double chin! How can I tone up my legs and thighs without getting too muscular? I’ve got a wedding coming up in a few weeks, how can I say farewell to my love handles? What is the best workout for me? How can I improve my posture? What exercise routine would better fit me? I’ve tried every single diet out there but not a single one seems to work. It is a piece of cake for you because you are genetically thin.”

Day after day I get bombarded with Health and Fitness questions to help women lose weight, yet more important, to keep it off. What they don’t understand most of the time though is that it is a lifetime struggle with “I,” disciplining our stubborn self to control all those crazy demanding cravings, to watch what we put in our mouth and to eat when we are sincerely hungry not when we make ourselves believe that we are.

As much as I advise many women NOT to do mindless, emotional, compulsive and unecessary eating, Yoryet is always the first in line to disobey Gina’s own rules.
I get so frustrated when I do not practice what I preach.
Failure always gets the best of me and I fall into PANIC mode and the unexpected happens…
The last couple of months I’ve caught myself doing exaggerated eating; doughnuts, potato chips, chocolate filled croissants, cookies, any type of bread and tons of other junk.

Believe it or not the frequency of those moments is increasing and
although sometimes I feel like I’m superwoman and that my body can withstand all the strain, getting up at the crack of dawn has started taking a toll on my restless body, mind and my soul.
Those moments of out of control cravings are a way of protesting, I guess my body is seriously thinking about going on strike.

Another thing I’ve noticed, is the dark bags underneath my eyes which I thought I may be overreacting but no, last week it wasn’t a coincidence, three days in a row I saw three friends on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and they all agreed in their realization.
The first thing they implied was that I looked very tired, that I need to wake up and smell the coffee and slow down and not do so much…
Although it wasn’t news to me, it was unexpected.

They are right though, my body needs a break. But there is always so much to do and it leads to frustration when I cannot do more.
During those moments time seems very limited and I’m trying to juggle a milion activities within a 24 hour window frame, then it gets overwhelming soon turning into anxiety like two weeks ago I was getting my period and I failed a project so I sheltered myself in food. I ate FIVE chocolate stuffed croissants in 48 hours!!

At last I admit that any type of bread is my downfall since I always end up indulging myself uncontrollably that is why in a way I can relate to drug addicts or alcoholics when their body demands a substance. The more goes in, the deeper they fall into the addiction. Pressue gets the best of me and I look for momentary pleasure and comfort in that exquisite taste.
I’ve developed this co-dependency for sweets. I recall when I stopped eating meat, it was not a big issue at all but bread…
I COULD KILL for it!

Each time I put on a diet plan and exercise routine together for my clients I feel like I am failing them. For example yesterday I got together with a client to go over her health and fitness plan. This question kept lingering in my mind. How can I indicate them what to strictly avoid if they want to reach their goal?

And although my fitness profile says,
“Gina Roman is a professional model and fitness trainer with extensive body sculpting experience. Her unique approach addresses both the physical and psycological barriers to weight loss. As a fitness expert, Gina helps women lose weight and get into the sexiest shape of their lives."
I’ve never thought of myself as a model because to me models are like WOOOW!! The most beautiful creatures on earth. Their skin is flawless, they NEVER have a bad hair day and much less a fat day. They make clothes look good, they are so up to date in fashion matters, they got it going on when they walk in heels, their makeup, nails, everything is intact. Gina Yoryet doesn’t even come close to that. My nails are a mess, most of the time my hair is held up in a bun and fashion matters? They’re none existent. That high-maintenance woman crap bores me to death.
It is not my intent to look like them though – I am very content with the bagagge I was thrown into this world. (NOT with the monster I turn into when I don’t eat at “my right times” or when I don’t work out. LOL!)

The fact of my thorough care with health boils down to my human nature and to other factors.
Sometimes people may think (some have actually told me this) that I am obssessed with my weight but they don’t understand the depth and nature of my work.
One thing I am proud to say is that I have NEVER gone on a diet, not a single day of my life. I’ve always been very skeptical about diets, diet pills, suplements…
All of that is just a mirage of what the subconscious mind wants to believe

For the most part though, I am loyal to a healthy and balanced diet I can work around my addiction with bread and still manage to pull off a healthy figure.
Last week I did much better, I only had two croissants and two “conchas” (shell shaped bread). Thank God I’ve never suffered from anorexia, bulimia, vigorexia, orthorexia, permarexia or anything of that sort because food is too good to spit back out.

Many people may be a bit skeptical and ignore many things as well.

They don’t know (and they think I’m lying) that as a child and most of my adolescence I was a very insecure creature because of…
Weight problems.
They neglect to understand that there is a HUGE abyss between dieting momentarily, adopting healthy habits and making health and fitness a lifestyle.

They seem to ignore that every day is a new battle and we are our own biggest obstacle.
They seem to not get a grip on the fact that once they lose the weight, it will stay off forever.
They neglect to accept that things DON’T come easy at all to me. I work just as hard or perhaps even harder to reach my fitness goals since I DIDN’T grow up in a healthy environment and the fact that I have to put out through these LONG days. From the second I get up, I go, go go nostop.

One of the first things that people always assume is that I’ve had at least two or three surgeries. I always have fun with that because I really don’t think it’s necessary just yet. The only thing I’ve added to my body was my tattos.

What many are far from understanding is that my mission is to only guide women get motivated and lead a happy and healthy lifestyle. I’m helping them to challenge themselves and be a living proof that we can juggle a million activities and still manage to stay fit. My only interest is to encourage them to work with the tools they have, to get to know their temple more and take advantage of their strength.

Tandas

Tandas
(Group savings pools)
September 18, 2011
By: Gina Yoryet Roman

Every time somebody comments on my posts it makes me feel very satisfied although I may never write for The New York Times, Forbes, CNN, NBC or one of those top of the line websites. Like I said before, at this time my main interest is do reflective writing. Looking at those top notch sites, they are amazing resources to keep up to date and not ignore what is going in our surroundings but as an idealist, I strongly believe that it is our day to day experiences that leave very profound traces in us.

I’ve always been one to question why this, why that and in spite of the fact that the majority of times I don’t get to a definite answer at least I tried. For instance, I always analize my daily encounters with people I work with, people at the gym, friends or simply strangers. I like to hold on to the simplicity of life and keep the relatively important events that teach me the most valuable lessons or the ones that expand my knowledge. I also read a lot and talk to myself constantly when I’m driving, or when I sprint to the next place I need to be. Sometimes people give me a weird look thinking, “this woman needs some serious help!” I am not bothered in the least because isn’t this world full of crazy people?

Sometimes while I’m strolling down the road, my eye catches something in particular and I’m like, “damn, I forgot my camera or my radio again!” “This would’ve been perfect to write about. Many times while talking to friends I pause and say, “hold on, I need to jot down what you just said.” They look at me funny thinking that I’ve lost my marbles. But then we just crack up because they know how enamoured I am of writing and they just contributed to my worn out imagination.

One time I visited a friend in Mexico City and he asked where I wanted him to take me, I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “take me to tepito.” He was definitely caught off guard or whatever because he just rolled his eyes at me and said, “out of a million classy and beautiful places here you chose one of the worst, what is wrong with you?” LOL!
A few weeks ago I went to see a movie with a friend of mine and we were having a debate whether a “topo,” mole and a “castor,” beaver were the same thing. I thought they were synonyms in Spanish until I looked for their meanings in English.
There is an endless list of funny moments and word origins which always pierce my restless brain and in fact this week I came across this word that I heard many moons ago.

“Tandas,” (Group savings pools), are according to some individuals, the key to feeling wealthy for a few days. They go back to the 1850’s during Colonial Times or even further back; to the stock savings from the Royal Factory of the XVIII Century in 1491. It was a savings system among people.
Tandas are a tradition that give cash but at the same time they are “un arma de dos filos,” a double-edged sword as some people like to call them. They are basically an old school savings plan like that when people hide coins and bills under their pillows. They are mainly organized by friends or family members or even among co-workers. A group of maybe six, seven, up to twelve people, get together assigning someone to be in charge of collecting a specific monthly amount of money, let’s say, $500 pesos or however much the agreement was, everyone pitches in, the one in highest need gets the money first, then the second, third until everyone has gotten a slice of the pie.

This old system is only done among people who deeply trust each other but even then, there have been many cases where people screw each other out, take off with the money and they show up a few days later with a brand new something. That is when this issue gets very touchy as relationships go down the drain and many things are at stake. Perhaps before taking part in this, we should question ourselves whether or not this is worthwhile. I am in complete agremment with the old saying, “cuentas claras, amistades largas,” Good fences make good neighbors. I don’t know if this is the most accurate definition but Robert Frost says so on his “Mending Wall” poem.

It must be so for many people because tandas are at high demand since the economy has plummeted once again and all economists foresee is gloom and doom. Forget about the lingering around, perhaps robbing a bank might be the fastest route to see the cash flow. Ha, ha!



"Mending Wall"

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
He is all pine and I am apple-orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
"Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down!" I could say "Elves" to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there,
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."


By: Robert Frost

Chronicles of a dog owner

Chronicles of a dog owner
Part I
September 15, 2011
By: Gina Yoryet Roman



Cleaning up poop, pee, hair all over, picking up destroyed plants, chewed toys, shoes and anything visible and chasing after two little tiny bundles of terror who wake me up at the crack of dawn to play or because they are hungry, is now part of my daily routine. When I open my curtain half asleep to check on Brunito and Pelusita, I question myself, “whatever happened to roosters people used as a wake up call in small towns in Mexico and alarm clocks?”, now I have two doggies that wake me up even earlier!. I want to give them a good spank but after looking at those adorable faces staring back at me…maybe not. I’ll hug them and pet them instead.
Being a pet owner, (especially having recent new borns), is not easy at all because it is just like having a real baby. Pets are very demanding little creatures but it is ok because everything has a price and if we want it, we have to pay it’s worth.
All the laughs for the cute things they do are priceless, plus now there is no excuse to skip my walk.
Owning two dogs has increased my love for the animal kind and it’s helped me understand why one of my closest friends always picks up every stray dog she finds…



Part II
Diary of a man’s best friend – a loyal canine

Week 1: I am only a week old. What joy to have come to this world!
Month 1: My mother takes real good care of me, she’s an amazing mother!
Month 4: I’ve grown very quickly, everything gets my attention! There are a few children in the house that are like my siblings. We are all very hyper and we have a ton of fun monkeying around on the floor and they pull my little tail as I pretend to bite them tenderly.

Month 5: My owner got very annoyed and nagged at me because I peed inside the house but I was never told where to do it.
On top of that, I live in a tiny room and I couldn’t hold it anymore!
Month 8: I am a very happy dog! I have a comfortable and cozy home. I feel very strong and protected. My human family loves me and I am allowed to do many things. When they are having a meal I hop on their lap and they are always glad to throw me a bite. I love the beautiful garden and I can dig just like my ancestors, the wolves.

Month 12: It is my first birthday today, farewell to my puppy moments! I heard my owners saying that I grew a lot more than expected. I walked around the house all day sticking my chest out.

Month 13: I was a nervous wreck today! My little brother took my ball. I was very irritated because I never grab anyone’s toys! So I tried to fight it back but my Jaws have gotten so sharp and strong that I hurt him unintentionally.
It was very heartbreaking to see him crying and screaming but I didn’t mean to.
After the shock I was chained down so tightly that I could hardly move.
I was isolated for… I lost track of time. The sweltering heat was very intense and there wasn’t any water around to get hydrated.
I heard my family saying a lot of things, they even said that they’d be watching me or something like I’m very ungrateful. Am I missing out on something?
Month 15: Things have changed. Now I live on the roof and I am very lonesome. I don’t know why my family doesn’t love me anymore. Sometimes they forget to give me water and feed me. I don’t have a nice and cozy room all to myself anymore.

Month 16: Today they came and got me from the roof! I was thrilled that they had forgiven me and I was hopping in joy wagging my tail like never before.
They are even going to take me for a ride! I got on the car waiting restlessly to see where they were taking me. I really feel like running and playing with my family. As we pulled over, they opened the door and I stormed out radiant in happinness!
“Wait!” I screamed “You are forgetting me!” I ran after the car with all my strength scared and panting breathlessly.
I soon grew exhausted and gave up, I could see the car getting smaller and smaller until it vanished completely. It finally dawned on me that they had abandoned me.

Month 17: I’ve tried to find my way home at no avail. I neglected to accept that I was all alone and lost in this universe. Sometimes I bump into a few good people who gaze at me with pity and…
And they throw me a small treat. I look at them back with gratitude and I wish…
If only I could blurt out many things, I want to beg them to adopt me and that I promise to be the most loyal friend they will ever have but I just can’t. I feel so powerless. What rage I feel! I am in desperate need for love and affection, it’d be so nice if they reached down and petted me but they only say, “poor doggie, he must have gotten lost!” as they leave me there, all sad, lost and in despair.

Month 18: The other day when I went past a school, I saw lots of children like my previous brothers. As I approached them one of them started throwing rocks at me. “Let’s see who can hit right on the target!” They said to one another. One of the rocks got me right on the eye blinding me. I can no longer see with my left eye.

Month 19: Hardly anyone now comes close to me. Perhaps because I am no longer a cute little pup. I’ve lost so much weight that I now look punny, I lost my left eye. A much bigger and stronger dog bit me when I was trying to eat. It’s been a while since anyone has brushed my hair. People don’t even pet me anymore, I only get hit with the broom stick when I try to look for shelter and get some sleep.

Month 20: I can barely move now. Today I tried to cross the road and I got hit by a car. For a second I thought I was in a safe place…
I’ll never forget the evil look of the driver. He even swirved and aimed right at me to make sure he ran me over. It would’ve been better if he had killed me but NOOOH! He only dislocated my back. The pain is terrible. My back feet were paralyzed. I could barely drag myself to the side of the street where I could lie on the dry leaves.

10 days later: It’s been ten days since I’ve been lying here starving rain or shine. I cannot move at all, the pain is unbearable.
I’m lying on a puddle of mud…
There was an endless rain and hail storm andit damaged my hair – it is now falling out.
Some passersby don’t even turn to look at me, others scream at me, “don’t come near me!” Do they realize that I can¿t even move?

I’ve lost track of time: I am unaware as to how many days, weeks, months have gone by, all I felt was this divine powerful force that impulsed me to open my eyes. A very sweet woman was telling me, “poor doggie, look at you, I can’t believe how someone could be so cruel to leave you on your own!” Right beside her was a plump man wearing a white coat, he started feeling my pulse and told her, “I am truly sorry Ma’am but we don’t have another option, it will be better off if he stops suffering.” She was on the verge of tears and nodded in agreement. I tried as hard as I could and wagged my tail to this angel in appreciation. I was very thankful because at last someone was so willing to help me ease my pain and help me rest forever. I felt the sharp prick of the injection as I closed my eyes and she caressed my head, I thought, “what was my purpose in this world if nobody was going to truly love me?

Chilanguismos

“Chilanguismos”
September 4, 2011
By: Gina Yoryet Roman



There are a few “Mexicanismos” (Mexicanismos are some kind of game, vocabulary and a bit of culture).that I always get a kick out of because when I think I’ve got the entire language narrowed down, another term or expression comes up.
Throughout my long stay in Guadalajara, there have been numerous informal expressions that I’ve encountered in such rich language. One of my favorite ones which make Spanish very unique (perhaps other languages use it as well but I ignore that fact), is the use of the diminutive. These are informalities of the language that people use in many cases; to show affection, to be cute or to indicate size, among others.

For instance, a few months ago, a co-worker had a little get together at his house so he sent out a cute electronic invitation. It said something like this, “Nos vemos el sábadito en mi casita, puedes traer a un amiguito. Trae un snacksito y una bebidita y por favorcito mándame un mensajito con una confirmacióncita…” - I’ll see you at my little place on Saturday. Bring a little friend, a little drink and a little snack. And send me a little message to confirm.

Also all the Mexican friends that I have often throw in all these fantastic expressions that I’ve never heard before (I am a native Spanish speaker but not a Tapatía).
“Mexicanismos” differ all over México and there is one in particular that many people use but they don’t know its real origin.

The word “chilango” is a very offensive term (I find it very demeaning) used for people born in México City, or so everybody says…
The real origin though (and what 99% of Mexicans don’t know), is that in reality that refers to people from other states who move there and adopt it as their home. I found this out on an Internet resource about three or four years ago, (I don’t recall the source).

According to sources, it derivates from the Nahuatl word, “Ixachillan.” Some even say it means “cuerpo de chile y cara de chango,” (body in the shape of a chili and monkey face - in others words, ugly and deformed as “chilangos” are desribed).
Everyone categorizes people born in México City as “Chilangos” but in reality we are all the same, our ancestros are the same, some of us are a darker complexion, some of a lighter tone.

Nowadays people don’t get as offended anymore, in fact they take it as a joke. There’s even a magazine called “Chilango.”
I once saw a brief dictionary of "Mexicanismos," and As I read the news earlier this week, I came across this list of “chilanguismos,” in “El Universal.”

“Chilanguismos,” By: Guido Gómez de Silva

-naco (Posiblemente de totonaco.), naca. adj., y m. y f. 1. Indio, indígena. || 2. De bajo nivel cultural, ignorante. = Of an indigenous origin, belonging to a low class.

-chacharear. tr. Vender o comprar chácharas, baratijas. = to shop for junk.

-chacharero, chacharera. adj., y m. y f. Vendedor de chácharas. = Person who sells junk, “rag-and-bone man.”

-chale. com. Inmigrante chino. = Chinese Immigrant.

-chamba. f. Empleo, trabajo. = a job. Ex: “Necesito chamba,” I need a job.

-chambeador, chambeadora. adj. Trabajador. = Hard working

-chanchullo: hacer chanchullo. loc. Engañar. = to manipulate or deceive someone.

-ñero, ñera, m. y f., o ñeris, m. (De compañero.) Amigo, compañero. = Short for “compañero,” Buddy.

-ora. (De ahora.) adv. Ahora. || ¡órale! (De ahora + -le.) interj. que exhorta al trabajo, a la actividad, a animarse. || ¡órale, pues! 1. interj. que exhorta al trabajo, a la actividad, a animarse. || 2. interj. de protesta. | a l'ora de l'ora. loc. coloq. En esos momentos, en el momento crucial. = Short for “¡órale!,” right on!,” “hell yes!”

-gacho, gacha. (Del español gacho 'encorvado, torcido', derivado del verbo agachar 'inclinar, encoger'.) adj. Malo, feo, desagradable. | bien gacho. loc. Muy desagradable. || ¡qué gacho! loc. ¡Qué feo! = opposite of cool or an unfortunate situation.

-ganso: ¡me canso, ganso! loc. (Respondiendo a un reto) sí puedo. = I can, let me get on it right away.

-chafa. (Quizá de chafar 'estropear, echar a perder'.) adj. Malo, de mala calidad, falso. = of bad quality, lousy useless.

-chido, chida, o chiro, chira, o shido, shida. adj. 1. Bueno, de lo mejor. || 2. Bonito. = cool, nice, great, awesome, right on.

-chiflar: no la chifles, que es cantada. loc. Eufemismo por "no la chingues" = 'no molestes'. = No shit! Don’t mess it up

-caifán. m. Sujeto preeminente en un barrio de ciudad. = someone who comes from the hood, a thug,

-calmantes montes. loc. ¡Cálmate!, ¡No seas impaciente!, ¡Espera! = relax, don’t worry!

-falluca (De falluca 'comercio ambulante en el campo', de falla 'tejido con que se cubrían la cabeza las mujeres; tejido burdo', del francés faille 'tejido, velo de mujer'.) o fayuca. f. Contrabando, importación prohibida si no se pagan derechos de aduana. = illegal, from the black market.

-falluquero, falluquera, o fayuquero, fayuquera. m. y f. Persona que trae mercancía prohibida o sin pagar derechos de aduana. = A person who sells smuggled goods, black marketeer.

Fireproof

Fireproof
Sunday August 28, 2011
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


An unexpected yet long awaited call on Monday made me reminiscence my late teenage years when I had recently parted High School and partying and pulling all nighters (every single Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday) were my first and foremost priority.

Being a very disoriented rebel without a real cause I wasn’t too fond of school so dropping out of College was my “only” choice to split my time between a part time waitressing job and modeling part time at Bellisima models.

Serving people in the late 1990’s was something to get quite some fun out of because I met many interesting people;
Youngsters my age, hot guys, married couples, senior citizens, etc, but there was one specific group that was very pleasant to work with; the community of Oakmont in Santa Rosa California, just 55 miles north of San Francisco.

Sunday was a day to always look forward to because I always had a chance to see and chat with older people. Interacting with older people is something I’ve always enjoyed because they are full of wisdom,they have already crossed all the roadblocks and learned from life, they have endless interesting stories to tell and they’ve taught me many important lessons.

It was then and there that I met two of the most beloved people in my journey; Hal and Mary Lou White who became my adoptive grandparents. I recall one morning while serving them, he noticed the fatigued and worn out expression on my face. He must’ve taught, “what is this creature doing with her life?” As he held my hand he said to me, “Georgette (the way he has always spelled my name) you are a natural born teacher, why are you wasting your time waitressing?”

It would’ve been too rude and disrespectful to laugh so I replied instead, “Really? You think so?” And it was left at that. My disgust of books and school was not expressed.

Many people will say things to you and they will go in one ear and come out through the other but the comment about me being a “natural born Teacher” was something that always stuck to my mind and somewhere along the line, I forced my stubborn self to go back to school and actually enjoy it.

Yet the most important advice Hal has always given me even to this day is the importance of finding one’s soul mate and commiting to that person forever because marriage is not something to play with.

He said“Pumpkin,” (His nickname for Mary Lou) was his High School sweet heart, from the moment they met they instantly fell in love, they got married shortly after High School and became one for eternity, till the end of time, till death does them apart.

Many years ago this topic didn’t interest me in the least but the more time goes by, the more I can see and understand why their marriage became resistant to absolutely everything. They overcame every single minor obstacle because their love has been greater than anything else.

That love has been the most powerful force in the universe even to this day that Pumpkin is in a rest home because of what that wicked “Señora Fortuna” had been holding in her hands all along.

Three years ago Mary Lou came down with Alzheimer’s and she hasn’t been able to recover. Her mental condition only deteriorates minute after minute, every day her life is slowly slipping out of her hands. She can’t even talk or recognize anyone anymore.

When I talked to Hal on Monday, he was in tears, I could sense the solitude in his soul and the emptiness in his heart and I was speechless. Instead of being of any help, I cried my guts out with him...
for him...
for them. I was angry and felt useless because finding the answer to their problem is not within my reach and I DETEST being out of control and unable to decipher life’s fate.

As for me, I am certain of one thing…
I will never commit to anyone for the wrong reasons, the older I get, the more convinced I am that emotional, spiritual or any type of failure are NOT a choice. .
As we get older our mistakes can bend and break us temporarily but I like to think that they will teach us a lesson and forge us
into better and more committed and loving people.

If “Señora Fortuna” is holding a happy ending (with my soulmate) for me, I would like that union to be fireproof till the end of time.

Where is my stray mojo?

Where is my stray mojo?
FridayAugust 19, 2011
By: Gina Yoryet Roman

It is now Friday night, the first chance for me to transform my weekly thoughts into words…
The truth is that I really did have a little more time than usual to do last week’s reflections (Sunday August 14) but I just couldn’t get my mojo going (mojo = the sense of being alive, joyful, and fully present in the moment. The path to finding your mojo differs for everyone. For some, mojo is a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. For others, it’s reclaiming optimal health or sparking their creativity. Some seekers find mojo by getting in touch with the divine) because of many unexpected and nerve-wracking events, I just couldn’t get myself to jot down a single word.

It all started well last week’s Monday (August 15th), sprinted to they gym at the crack of dawn. Usually instead of thinking about the darkness, I focus on beating my sprint time from the previous day. The day went quite well, I spent time with my babies (my two maltese puppies I got over the summer; Brunito and Pelusita).

Later that night I watched the news about this case of a dead little girl in Estado de Mexico. According to the Journalist, the little girl was ran over by a car a few months back when she had just gotten out of school to run to the park right across the street. The neighbors started noticing bizarre things like the swings moving, strong winds and the whole freaky enchilada, YIKES!

The Journalist went to the park at midnight to see if he could catch something creepy on camera and so he did! I am usally very skeptical about those things but I could clearly see the little girl’s silhouette right when he focused the camera so I FREAKED OUT! The next morning I was in such panic that I called the gym trainer (who works out at the same time time)to pick me up.

Thank God he came and got me, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to drag myself out of the house. LOL! Just as my fear started dissipating slowly, I saw some tragic news about women and murders and I felt so much anxiety that I had to get my mind distracted with something else.

On Wednesday I thought I was more at ease until I came back from the gym. Right when I walked in the door at 6:30am my landline started ringing, My first thought was, “Perhaps it’s one of my sisters but they are two hours earlier.” It was a bit odd even more so when the caller ID read “Private number.” I had just turned the computer on to start writing because I was very eager so when I picked up it was a man panting and screaming in panic. He kept saying something like, “help me, I’m being kidnapped, they are throwing me into a pickup, help, help!”

My heart dropped to the floor and my body went cold, I literally started shivering. Two or three seconds later I told myself, “Ok, snap out of it, this is not real.” And so it wasn’t because as I listened to that wicked voice again, I couldn’t hear the least tinge of panic. If that man had to make a living out of acting, he would’ve been homeless by now.

Throughout the day the phone rang a few more times and I was too hesitant to pick it up when the caller id, read “Private number.”
On Thursday in the midst of my weekly chaos I was trying to beat into my head that fear is nothing but an abstract idea but I still felt YUCK! I sprinted back home from the gym as I was expecting my sister to call me at 8am after I emailed her telling her of my happenings. Thank God for sisters! I got home, fed my babies, cleaned their poop, took them out for a walk but Oh Lord, they are more than a handful! They run like crazy all over the place so I rushed out the house leaving my keys on the table! I locked myself out at 6:45am!! So I had to wait until work hours to call a locksmith to make sure I talked to my sister before I left to go to work.

And so we did have a brief chat which I was very glad for because she beholds this kind of divine power to soothe one’ soul. At that moment I wished she were here so she could sit right beside me to tell me a joke, to talk to me about our childhood, to nag at me or to just be there keeping me company.

Unlike many people who are terrified of being alone, I’ve always been one to cherish the quiet moments of my solitude because that is exactly where I find peace. My alone moments give me the opportunity to strategize, plan and act. That is my time to reflect and empower my mind and soul and to reach down to the spiritual me. To look at the woman in the mirror and ask her how I can be more in control of my actions and thoughts, how I can be more disciplined, thorough, more agressive and how I can hold on to life with one grip to reach all my lifetime goals, how I can have more expectations of me and ONLY me and how to be more aware of other people’s needs, like the people at Acortar Distancias.

As it is in my nature to NEVER sit down and be in control of every aspect of my life (for better), sometimes it feels as though I am so out of sequence but despite all those setbacks I keep trying in my day to day battle. Sometimes it is very easy to give up and I can see why many do…

What is one to do in this constant roller coaster when emotions, fear, lack of motivation, temptation and “bad influence” seem to take over?
I pray and give it all to a much more powerful force in the universe that will take it all away and help me find true inner peace.

There is no room for failure

There is no room for failure
By: Gina Roman
Monday August 8, 2011


The economy is going down once again, with that Dow Jones is at one of its 9th lowest in U. S. history and at its lowest since December 1st 2008 according to yahoo news.
That always makes me ponder on the fact of what it’s like for those who invest in the stock market, the feeling they must get when their stocks pump to the highest value.
What about when the stocks hit the bottom though? Was all the risk worth the effort? What about the feeling of having failed financially?
There are millions out there who are going through turmoil at this precise moment because their assets are at high stake due to this shaky economy…

Can stockholders foresee what’s lying ahead? Perhaps they cannot, otherwise they wouldn’t risk so much because of their fear of failure? Failure of losing their finances, failing to their families, failure to not being able to predict the ups and downs of economy.

As much as people may fear failing, it seems as though they always clamor for money, possessions and prestige. Do they realize that all of that is transient? As money can be lost, possessions wear out and go out of style. Position and prestige are fleeting prizes in life’s tug-of-war.
Why not search for spiritual understanding, dreams and goals and incline towards the quiet solitude of one’s soul instead?
These are the things that make a human being truly wealthy, wealthy in wisdom, serenity, hope and joy.
I have not once known of a single stock on the stock market that guarantees that kind of dividend.

My understanding of Life is about being ambitious (Not inclined towards a materialistic aspect), setting goals and expectations, accomplishing them and NOT allowing any gaps for failure to filter in because once it manages to get in, it is like an illness, hard to get rid of, unless one uses all their might to do otherwise. Everyone always sets goals especially as we get older; I personally at this point in life cannot allow myself to fail mentally, emotionally, financially, or spiritually. I do not in ANY way Intend for perfection, what I mean is that my past experiences have definitely helped me get to know myself better, to define the “I” now, to determine what NOT to do in the future and more so, they’ve forged me into a much stronger person.

The other night I was talking to one of my students and we mentioned the fact that we have the same concept of life, to NOT allow failure to sink in. Sometimes it can be frustrating because things seem to happen in a rather slow motion and it is in our nature to want immediate results (sometimes we neglect to accept nothing but the best without even trying).

Many times I look back at the end of 2008 when every single area of my life was shattered, all of 2009 was spent struggling to collect all the tiny pieces and put them together, and part of 2010 when it finally dawned on me that too much time had been wasted feeling lost and empty, I sought for a million ways to get back in tune with life, set goals and expectations of “me” and take the rein of my existence.

Writing has always been one of my passions in life, once I set a goal to write professionally so when I started writing for a magazine and a newspaper, I was thrilled but that joy didn’t last too long as I was bombarded with a million tasks and I was being pulled in different directions (I always have to split myself up between Teaching, Translating, Writing and Health and Fitness).
Sometimes I want to bang my head against the wall for letting the opportunity of writing profesionally slip out of my hands but at the same time there will always be opportunities, plus it didn’t fulfill me completely since I’ve always wanted to do reflective writing so I can pore my heart out and connect with the world.
After cleaning up all the clutter in my mind, I concluded that translating/interpreting needed to be put on my top list as it can bring many great opportunities business wise. But then teaching jumps in and like someone once said to me during my youth years when I was a rebel with MANY causes, “You are a natural born teacher.” And then Health and Fitness comes in. Perhaps I am not ready to drop any of them just yet…

At this moment in life I still haven’t figured out which of my passions will bring me the most joy and fulfillment nor which one would be the most profitable and worth my while. To this day, I still haven’t maximized my potential to the highest. All I know is that as exhausted as I sometimes may be (my days usually start at 4:30 am), there will NEVER be any room for failure because I am a MexiCAN.




LOSE/WIN

I have known the pain of failure, frustration, disappointment, defeat,
BECAUSE
I have taken a chance on winning, succeding, achieving…
It takes a lot of the first to get some of the second.

Natasha Josefowitz