Where is my stray mojo?

Where is my stray mojo?
FridayAugust 19, 2011
By: Gina Yoryet Roman

It is now Friday night, the first chance for me to transform my weekly thoughts into words…
The truth is that I really did have a little more time than usual to do last week’s reflections (Sunday August 14) but I just couldn’t get my mojo going (mojo = the sense of being alive, joyful, and fully present in the moment. The path to finding your mojo differs for everyone. For some, mojo is a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. For others, it’s reclaiming optimal health or sparking their creativity. Some seekers find mojo by getting in touch with the divine) because of many unexpected and nerve-wracking events, I just couldn’t get myself to jot down a single word.

It all started well last week’s Monday (August 15th), sprinted to they gym at the crack of dawn. Usually instead of thinking about the darkness, I focus on beating my sprint time from the previous day. The day went quite well, I spent time with my babies (my two maltese puppies I got over the summer; Brunito and Pelusita).

Later that night I watched the news about this case of a dead little girl in Estado de Mexico. According to the Journalist, the little girl was ran over by a car a few months back when she had just gotten out of school to run to the park right across the street. The neighbors started noticing bizarre things like the swings moving, strong winds and the whole freaky enchilada, YIKES!

The Journalist went to the park at midnight to see if he could catch something creepy on camera and so he did! I am usally very skeptical about those things but I could clearly see the little girl’s silhouette right when he focused the camera so I FREAKED OUT! The next morning I was in such panic that I called the gym trainer (who works out at the same time time)to pick me up.

Thank God he came and got me, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to drag myself out of the house. LOL! Just as my fear started dissipating slowly, I saw some tragic news about women and murders and I felt so much anxiety that I had to get my mind distracted with something else.

On Wednesday I thought I was more at ease until I came back from the gym. Right when I walked in the door at 6:30am my landline started ringing, My first thought was, “Perhaps it’s one of my sisters but they are two hours earlier.” It was a bit odd even more so when the caller ID read “Private number.” I had just turned the computer on to start writing because I was very eager so when I picked up it was a man panting and screaming in panic. He kept saying something like, “help me, I’m being kidnapped, they are throwing me into a pickup, help, help!”

My heart dropped to the floor and my body went cold, I literally started shivering. Two or three seconds later I told myself, “Ok, snap out of it, this is not real.” And so it wasn’t because as I listened to that wicked voice again, I couldn’t hear the least tinge of panic. If that man had to make a living out of acting, he would’ve been homeless by now.

Throughout the day the phone rang a few more times and I was too hesitant to pick it up when the caller id, read “Private number.”
On Thursday in the midst of my weekly chaos I was trying to beat into my head that fear is nothing but an abstract idea but I still felt YUCK! I sprinted back home from the gym as I was expecting my sister to call me at 8am after I emailed her telling her of my happenings. Thank God for sisters! I got home, fed my babies, cleaned their poop, took them out for a walk but Oh Lord, they are more than a handful! They run like crazy all over the place so I rushed out the house leaving my keys on the table! I locked myself out at 6:45am!! So I had to wait until work hours to call a locksmith to make sure I talked to my sister before I left to go to work.

And so we did have a brief chat which I was very glad for because she beholds this kind of divine power to soothe one’ soul. At that moment I wished she were here so she could sit right beside me to tell me a joke, to talk to me about our childhood, to nag at me or to just be there keeping me company.

Unlike many people who are terrified of being alone, I’ve always been one to cherish the quiet moments of my solitude because that is exactly where I find peace. My alone moments give me the opportunity to strategize, plan and act. That is my time to reflect and empower my mind and soul and to reach down to the spiritual me. To look at the woman in the mirror and ask her how I can be more in control of my actions and thoughts, how I can be more disciplined, thorough, more agressive and how I can hold on to life with one grip to reach all my lifetime goals, how I can have more expectations of me and ONLY me and how to be more aware of other people’s needs, like the people at Acortar Distancias.

As it is in my nature to NEVER sit down and be in control of every aspect of my life (for better), sometimes it feels as though I am so out of sequence but despite all those setbacks I keep trying in my day to day battle. Sometimes it is very easy to give up and I can see why many do…

What is one to do in this constant roller coaster when emotions, fear, lack of motivation, temptation and “bad influence” seem to take over?
I pray and give it all to a much more powerful force in the universe that will take it all away and help me find true inner peace.