December 16, 2015
I wasn’t taught to be believe, I
never met courage in the face until I reached my twenties, I was unbeknownst to
discipline, focus and effort at a later time than many people. I was NOT the
typical young girl who fantasized of meeting her prince charming and getting
married – although deep down I longed for it. Coming from a large and
close-knit family, I was ingrained fear, “believe” was obsolete since before I
blurted my first words. I was always subdued by my apprehension towards the
universe. Existing and life itself were very daunting.
That was then, I have set myself
free. Growing older has granted me many benefits, like Judy Dench said, "One
of the benefits of being a mature, well-educated woman is that you are not
afraid of expletives. And you have no fear to put a fool in his place. That's
the power of language and experience. You learn a lot from Shakespeare."
I am now acquainted with courage,
discipline, focus, courage and effort. I believe in myself, I am no longer
afraid. When I am disturbed with discomposure of any kind, I reach out to my sword
and shield; praying, faith and silence and it all fades.
Today, I am one year older and I
have very few regrets! Sure, I wish that time didn’t run as quickly, but that
no longer intimidates me! I want to enjoy my days more and worry less!
True, my body is not as resilient as
before (mainly because of my knee injury), not because I am an old bag! I am no
spring chicken true! But I am very fulfilled and thankful for many things. I am
happy to be wrapping up another year feeling, gazing, sensing, knowing and
living the simple life that I always yearned for. I am at ease and peace with
myself. At last I met my soul mate. Now it all makes sense, why it took this
long to find him. I unconsciously sought for the wrong people, with that I
delayed crossing paths with him. Perhaps all those failures were meant to
happen in order for me to get closer to him day by day.
I don’t know, I don’t want to know,
I don’t want to think about it. Now that I’ve set myself free, all I want is to
love him till the end of time…
My Younger Days
By: Maya Angelou
When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in
to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older,
I've set my body free;
There's the comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.
Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose-
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses
As the print's been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago
I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to gray
and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
It's the outside's changed a bit.
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