Deciphering Humanity and the power of healing

Deciphering Humanity and the power of healing
June 26, 2011
By: Gina Roman


While driving the other day, I was trying to pay attention to this suicidal song being played on the radio. Not quite sure who the singer was but I’m pretty certain it was Alejandro Fernandez – being a huge tapatio icon he’s got thousands of female followers so every other song that plays on the radio is one of his.

If I remember correctly, the song goes like this, “matame, es más fácil que lo hagas a que te perdone porque jamás te perdonaré…” – kill me, it’ll be much easier for you to do that than for me to forgive you…”

That song went very deep down because it reminded me of a few experiences that I’ve always been very hesitant and sensitive to write about, not because I haven’t completely let go or healed but because I consider those moments the most intimate and personal stages in my life and I want them to remain within and share them only with the very few people who are able to read me like the palm of their hand. Those words also reminded me of the many people (friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc.) I’ve lost and the many I’ve gained throughout my journey.

Relationships; friendships family, romantic relationships and so on, can be a challenge and there have been very frequent moments when we neglect to understand, accept and question ourselves why people that we’ve truly cared about have taken a different route and vanish. There could be many reasons involved; because we don’t click, because we’re very competitive, because of the lack of communication, immaturity, anger, frustration, jealousy, the lack of interest from one end or both, insecurity, resentment, impatience, lack of trust, betrayal or simply because that relationship wasn’t mean to be as much as we may have kicked, punched, cried or cursed.

I would’ve agreed with that song in the past as I was always one to hold a grudge on people even for the most minimal thing they’d done. I never accepted apologies and neither did I give people a second chance but yet I expected people to give me another chance.

As the adult I’ve become I’m getting to know myself more and I am working on improving many aspects of “me” for the better. Especially because since the beginning of the year I’ve felt this inner peace unlike many years. I thought of how long it took me to reach this stage and how I want it to remain like that if not for life, at least for a LONG time.

For instance this week one of my closest friends and I had a long conversation through email as she was traveling because of work. We brought up many things that we had never talked about because we were afraid that we’d be too upset and that perhaps our friendship would go down the drain, especially because we had lost a myriad of people in our journey. What we opted for instead of giving each other a chance to talk, we simply disappeared so that left us wondering what had happened.

We chatted over the phone just a little while ago and clarified many things. We agreed that true and genuine relationships are NEVER lost, in fact it is those moments of disagreement that reinforce the bond. It is completely ok to disappoint, disagree, get annoyed and be different than your friends or loved ones but that is an insignificant reason to lose relationships.

I came across another unexpected encounter about two weeks ago when I talked to one of the most important people in my life. The impact of that conversation stirred all these concealed sentiments yet my soul was finally liberated and my heart felt at ease. It is very easy to see how human beings neglect to understand the simplicity of relationships.

That is why sometimes it is better for one’s sake to let life just flow and accept what fate is holding for us as although we were given a body and a life to own, “ownership” doesn’t mean we own life nor is it the purpose of our existence to fully understand life.

Instead of trying to decypher humanity, we should give away the gift of forgiving, the power of healing and give love and affection to others, not war because in the midst of tragedy, pain and hurt, in the midst of joy and disappointment, love is the most poweful force in the universe and it is what keeps humanity going.