Is reproducing a woman’s real purpose in life?

Is reproducing a woman’s real purpose in life?
July 11, 2011
By: Gina Roman



“Aunt Georgie, can I ask you something,” my ten year old niece asked me in the middle of lunch on Tuesday. “Yes Saranna Jasmine?” I replied. “Why aren’t you more like mom?” She questioned me. “What do you mean,” I said. “Why aren’t you married and have a family?” She inquired.
YIKES! I said as I gulped the mouth full of enchiladas giving myself some time to come up with a good answer or another subject to brush that touchy topic off.
It is not that I am not used to hearing that question, it seems as though every time I visit (very seldom) my mom’s relatives, the only topic to discuss is why I am not married nor have I had kids.
It was just very unexpected from such young and naive little person. It felt very ackward because my mother was sitting right beside me and my sister and nephew were there as well. She kept going on and on asking me about boys and why am I not even in a serious relationship and trying to find candidates for me.

This topic of children and reproducing always gives me an UGH feeling!
To this day I still cannot say whether or not children is one of my biggest desires in life. I still don’t know if I’ll ever want them. For one reason or another it has never happened, not even when I was with the “love” of my life. Perhaps because distance was always an issue and because we didn’t spend much time together physically. Or perhaps because of stronger reasons, that is not something for me to ponder into or try to find answers anymore. Sometimes it is better to let sleeping dogs lie.

At this time and moment in life I feel like I have to step up and make lots of things happen because I’m missing out on so much, I am always driven to learn more. Are there moments when I feel loney? Yes! Are there moments when I wish I came home to someone and say, “love, I’m home,” Instead of hearing the echo of the slightest sound in the apartment? Certainly, but that is not a reason to want to bring a child to this world.
I wonder why people have not one, but two, three kids, maybe to make sure they avoid feeling guilty and lonely later, sometimes because they feel that nature is obligating them to do so, sometimes because of the fact that their partner will linger around “longer,” or to create the one who will inherit their wealth, properties, businesses, etc.

In many countries in Latin America it is almost a sin and it is not well seen by society when a woman in her thirty’s is not married nor has a family but it doesn’t bother me in the least because at the end of the day, nobody else but me will have to face me, narrow down what I want, need and should be doing and find my REAL purpose in life.

One thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to ever settle down with someone for the simple reason that I am afraid of being alone; I’ve known many people who get married because they are co-dependent and because they think that real happiness is to be with someone and that they have to have company when in the long run , the gap of solitude ends up getting wider and they end becoming more distant and lonely.

I’ve always believed that one of the best things in life for a woman is to be successful and independent so I don’t want to ever marry anyone just for money because to this day I love my freedom and thank God I’ve been able to provide a sustenance for myself and I guess because I’ve become very selfish somehow (I love my space, I love waking up whenever I want, I love not having to share my bed with a snoring, slobbering or breath-stinking person, I love to NOT have to deal with crying and needy children).

Knowing me, If I were married and had kids, I would always want more. When I was 20 I was able to buy my first house with one of my sisters, at 24 I was able to take my name off that loan and co-sign for another house with another one of my sisters, I ‘ve worked at a million different places that have forced me to increase my knowledge in countless areas, I’ve traveled a share amount – not as much as I’d like to in the last two, three years.
Every single time after I accomplish a goal, I ask myself, “is this it?” I want more and I need to be doing more or this is not enough.

Another reason why I am not necessarily passionate about children is because in this world everything is at stake and whatever happened to morals, values, respect and all the good aspects of humanity? There isn’t much left of what it was once. I can barely drag my own to feet to try to be a better human being in the midst of this chaotic jungle. When the “right” time comes I would love to adopt a baby or two and really focus in them, in making them good beings but before that happens there is a world for me to conquer.

Although (from my perspective) the beauty of a woman is not measured on the size of her cleavage nor the shape of her butt, but measured on what her body is able to accomplish, to create another human being and still manage to look amazingly beautiful. Since I don’t have kids I strongly believe that my brain is my strongest and most attractive asset so all there is for women who don’t even come close to being with “THE ONE” nor want kids, is to unleash their power to the maximum and do something with it.