Saturday, July 23, 2016

Hoc tempore, alio tempore

Hoc tempore, alio tempore
This time, another place
alio tempore , alio loco
another time, another place
July 23, 2016
By Gina Yoryet Román

Throwback to the last two years of my adolescence and all through my twenties. As I watch my fingers type, I reminiscence about that stage when I met victory face to face many times. In illo tempore each time I was awarded with a medal, I prided myself on my ability to subdue my body to have hard rock abs and very toned muscles all around. The physically stronger I became, the “happier” I was, or so I thought! Years later, it finally dawned on me that the more resilient my body became, the more I longed for mental fortitude.

I  never acknowledged it, nor did I take time to open my heart to anyone about all or most of my high-intensity season meets and competitions up in the mountains, at Howarth Park in Santa Rosa, on the Sacramento River trail, at Mckinley park in Sacramento, on the San Francisco Bay, at the stadium in Sacramento State College, on the track in Diablo Valley College, or wherever we went all through the U. S., the harder I trained, the more feeble my mind became. The more victories I gained, the more lacerated my heart and soul grew because I neglected God’s presence. At that time I was oblivious to the truth.

Amidst that obscurity when la loca de la azotea (the crazy woman upstairs - the mind) always ended up wreaking internal havoc. I constantly prayed at “no avail.” Time after time, I asked God to manifest his unconditional love to me by helping me find my way (really his way). I begged him to reach out to me not based on my appearance, the color of my skin, my social status, or failures, but based on the grounds of being another one of his disoriented and imperfect children who longed to serve his purpose.

I questioned him, “what is my purpose, why am I here, what do you want from me, why me, why here, why now, what next?” I told him, whatever you want from me, guide me and bring me towards you. Please show me the way and mentor me to develop and use my skills to benefit you, my community, my society, my family and myself. If and when you make that happen, I will have finally understood my meaning.

Yet, those talks went “unanswered.”

Now I know why,
I denied myself from sensing and seeing his direct, intense and clear presence.  I kept telling myself, “I have the right attire worthy of a competitive and professional athlete and I’ve done quite well at keeping at a physically fitness level...yet I long for mental fitness which is as equally important to compete for his glory. If my head is not fully in him, I will always lose. Unquestionably I was progressively working my way towards loss with my reluctance about who I was brought up to be – a woman of faith.  

All those years I was at dire straits until 2008 when I was introduced to FSSP and met Father Romo. He came to my life when I was still at a loss about my faith. After talking to him and reigniting my relationship with God, I witnessed all my doubts slowly mitigating because my past no longer clawed its way out. Now I know that silence has revealed the answers, and prayers have provided the solution. All combined, they have drawn me towards what God was holding in store for me. All along he wanted me to be his instrument. I can now see tomorrow in the eye and be certain of the fact that something bigger and better was lying ahead, for me to be used somewhere, somehow to use my abilities and share my knowledge with his people.

At this given time and place, I am unbeknownst as to whether or not my mission has been fully accomplished. However, I can be certain that my heart and soul are at peace and ease because he has always manifested himself to me in many ways. But as the rebel with “many” causes, like hurricane Georgette, I didn’t allow him in!

As we wrapped up the Spanish School Summer Program, my purpose was directly and clearly revealed to me through each one of you when I was abruptly awakened at dawn one day. At last without a doubt, I can understand my mission. To serve God through FSSP wherever I am destined to be. Had I not had the blessing to serve you, my spirit would have  run dry!

We will miss you dearly!

God bless!

“The teaching profession is NOT simply a matter of skill acquisition. It involves a process of personal deconstruction and reconstruction in dealing with each student and individual’s case, prior history, needs, priorities and objectives. This means that I must constantly evaluate my personal values, motives and goals, and I must be willing to make any necessary positive changes in order to evolve as a profesional and improve day by day in pursuance of delivering ethics, honesty, transparency and knowledge. I can become highly skilled and educated, but SANS a genuine desire to serve others, my career, one of my strongest profesional sustenances, would eventually become an unbearable burden.
My goal is to genuinely be of assistance to others, entice them and persuade them to reach towards a better and more promising tomorrow to reach wholeness.
This is the effect of reciprocity – I am an important element in the teaching field and I serve others through God and my skills. In Exchange of that, I am at ease with myself professionally. Furthermore, this reward propels me to strive for better.  

Gina Yoryet Román

“I want to see, real, living, and in the hours of my own days, that glory I create as an illusion. I want it real. I want to know that there is someone, somewhere, who wants it, too. Or else what is the use of seeing it, and working, and burning oneself for an impossible vision? A spirit, too, needs fuel. It can run dry.”

 Ayn Rand

Real living is living for others. Realize that anything you want in life can be obtained by helping others get what they want.”

No comments: