An instrument of God

An instrument of God
November 9, 2014
By: Gina Yoryet Roman


Day by day I question my meaning in life, yesterday part of that answer was revealed very clearly, directly and strongly after having an unpleasant disagreement with my beloved (J. V. A.). My feelings were hurt unintentionally after he consumed a damaging medication (I am not talking about drugs) that altered him internally. That ‘insignificant slip up,’ disconcerted and distressed me because I am an advocate of health and fitness which doesn’t give me any room for immediate ‘solutions’ to alleviate stress even when I am throwing in the towel.

When he unfolded the truth of why he had snapped at me two days in a row, I was hurt  later leading to some serious food for thought. During the thirty minute walk after we hung up, I was terrified at the thought of having to deal with that forever. I questioned myself, “Is this what life is going to be about when we share our lives as husband and wife? Caught amongst fear and anxiety I concluded, “I don’t want that.”

At the same time, these words kept pounding within, together through good and bad, for better or for worse.’ And so be it as long as neither one of us doesn’t develop and adopt self-destructive habits. Following our argument, we quickly made up because we truly care about each other. That is real love!

As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that when we argue with our loved ones, we bring out our demons, nothing but the worst of us. Maliciousness is NEVER good for any type of relationship; parent-children, friends, husband-wife, co-workers, etc. It leads to anger, hurt and resentment, that’s why it is better to remain silent until things cool down and NEVER EVER offend one another under ANY circumstances.

This relationship has taught me to mellow down, to be more forgiving and to be at ease with ‘us.’ That’s why every morning before I hop out of bed I pray for God to help me see, speak, hear, act, think and love through his eyes. This morning this incident disclosed that I am an instrument of God who is meant to walk hand in hand with my husband to grow together and to help him be a better person and vice versa, because even though at times he feels all alone in this world, he is really NOT. He has me and our mother.

After searching for him all my life, I will NOT leave him nor forsake him, not now, not ever...

Proverbs 31:10-11

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.