My temple

My temple
April 4rd, 2011
By: Gina Roman




Yesterday was a beautiful Sunday, a lovely day to do some bird watching, to take in the refreshing nature or just simply get out there to enjoy the sun. As hyped up as I always am, it was not the case this time since my week was very overwhelming; it was mentally overwhelming because of work related issues and because I was barely recovering from a knee injury but I over did it at the gym again so I’m back to basics. It was a week full of disappointment which has dragged up to this day.
One thing I ponder about the most is emotional exhaustion; sometimes when we are extremely exhausted, it can affect us physically as well that is one of the reasons why many years ago I chose to lead a healthy lifestyle. Right after High School I became a Health and Fitness enthusiast and very curious to learn more about “my engine” – my body and what I can do to improve it. Not so much on an outer beauty aspect but more on a health and strength level and what it is capable of doing and widthstanding.
In the midst of trying to find answers to recover from my injury and stop the pain for good, my mind took me back to when I was a little girl. Back in the day I used to be very chubby, I looked like a chubby tomb boy because my mother used to cut my hair very short. I was never able to run as fast as my sisters and I was the fastest target to get to every time we played tag. Being so young, I was never bothered by it until I reached adolescence. Being a teenager I started noticing and liking boys but not a single one looked at me because they thought I was a chubby one of their kind.

Every time I looked at myself in the mirror I wanted it to reflect a slim and curvy girl but it didn’t happen so that made me feel even more insecure because I thought it impossible to look better.
I’d always skip P. E. class because I hated it, and I was always too timid to go into the girl’s locker room because I didn’t want anybody looking at my body. I was never one to go around the dressing room in my undies and much less naked.
There was one thing I loved more than exercising though, as most teenagers I loved dancing and watching others dance made me feel so infatuated that I wanted to dance like them.
I took dance classes at school, our instructor had us put on little dance routines and it was so much fun that one day I talked to my sister about it and we decided to “try out” for the cheerleading team. And so we did but I wet my pants laughing every time I think about it because we ended up ridiculing ourselves and needless to say, we were not chosen.

My years of being “la gordita,” fatty, (what my parents and siblings called me) changed right after High School when I started playing soccer in a co-ed team. I loved the adrenaline running through my veins when I went after the ball.
Then my college years came and I joined the Cross Country and Track and Field team. I started shedding all the extra pounds, it felt as if I were another person. Changing my diet was the biggest factor on losing weight which was not easy at all. As a Mexican we used to have big meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner and most of all, we had to have meat two or three times a day. It has taken a lot of mental discipline and to this day I still have many flaws but I've developed better eating habits.

Now when I see my image reflecting in the mirror, there is not one single trace of the chubby little girl there was once.
14 years after I stepped up and decided to make big changes to my body, I feel like never before. I feel more self-confident, physically and mentally stronger.

I look at my imperfect body and I am able to appreciate the fact of how it’s been the only one to keep up with me and to pull through all the strain I’ve put it trhough.
When my body started changing and I started losing weight I became a little vain and inclined more towards the outer beauty aspect but as time went by, I made a whole new Discovery of it and now I can see what it’s capable of doing, accomplishing, the endurance of running a marathon, resisting an intense workout when I kick my butt at the gym, all the strain and exhaustion of my long work days (many times I have to work LONG hours only allowing me to work out at the crack of dawn), the pain it’s able to bear by giving life to another human being – I don’t have kids now but I can imagine what giving birth would be like. The challenge of going back to our skinny jeans after having a baby, the hard word and commitment with ourselves after reaching another decade or our journey.

Now my body is more like the most powerful engine and I cherish it despite all its imperfections. I try to clean out all the clutter because it is a temporary room that I will have to abandon someday.
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