I won’t lose my mind

I won’t lose my mind

September 26, 2012

By: Gina Yoryet Román

Friday it will be four weeks since I started physical therapy but it feels more like an eternity because I have not worked out consistently, I’ve been snowed under with work making it very difficult to even squeeze in a brisk walk. With this, many YUCKY feelings strike me abruptly: My hyped up self is long gone, the last drop of strength is slowly drifting and my dopamine is at its lowest ever!

Deep down I can guarantee that my body will eventually heal and I picture myself doing a thirty minute pain-free jog before the 2012 cycle comes to an end. BUT then frustration and negativity land, they keep haunting me and I lie in bed unable to sleep.

The stranger that gazes right back at me in the mirror is definitely NOT me!

I feel clumsier than usual, I move in slow sequence, I’ve had MANY fat days, I feel weak and UNATTRACTIVE! I’ve been biting my tongue to say this but I couldn’t hold back any longer.

Despite all this I keep telling myself to focus on replenishing my body because pretty soon I shall return stronger. I try to feed my mind with positive thoughts because when there’s a goal to be reached, there’s a price to be paid which comes followed by sacrifice and the latter has to hurt momentarily to pay off soon… every single suffering moment will have its worth. That is where I stand now; I am working toward achievement to be whole again.

Willingly or unwillingly, I’ve been facing one of the most physically deteriorating and draining events but I trust my mental strength and will to overcome all the tiny matters lying ahead.

As the Cuaima I am, I am determined to have one of my victories; therefore I shall NEVER show fear or anger in the face of physical intimidation.

Leigh Steinberg

“When it’s darkest, men see the stars”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

One step closer I'm feeling fine
Getting better one day at a time
I'm moving forward it's all in my mind
I'm heading talk without new stay to mine

So I will hold back tears
Move in the right direction
Face my fears
Move in the right direction

I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at the time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind, ah ah

Motivation a powerful strength
Hesitation was my first instinct
I got the notion that wickness was
Total devotion it's okay

Because I will hold back tears
So I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
Now I can move in the right direction

I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at the time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind, ah ah

Keeping my head of, looking forward
Reminiscing will get you nowhere
Never say never, starting over
It's not perfect but it's getting closer