Do you need a nickname for your private parts?

Do you need a nickname for your private parts?
February 20, 2011
By: Gina Roman


Anyone would’ve either wet their pants or they would’ve been left with their jaw dropped on the floor had they heard what I did earlier this week while I was dining at a restaurant off of Avenida Americas, close to the school where I teach.
There’s this thing or many things I don’t get about guys and when it comes to talking about sex and their private parts, I’m not implying that girls don’t do it. Of course we do! Women definitely talk about sex and all the scope about getting cozy with a guy but in a more private setting with long-term female friends. We want to know whether or not they are good kissers, good lovers and the whole enchilada, but as far as naming down there “tunnel,” “treasure vault,” “butter muffin,” or some silly name like that, NOPE! Perhaps many women do come up with names for their privates but I never have and neither have a few women I talked to over the weekend.
After meeting with a client on Wednesday, I stopped for a quick bite before my first class at ASFG. My mind was flying around wondering about all the potentials there are as far as making money and all these projects that I am going to make happen little by little. I decided to give my mind a break and started reading the newspaper when suddenly two guys walked into the restaurant and sat on the table next to me. There I was too into my reading trying to concentrate because they were being too loud. I’ve always despised eavesdropping but as much as I avoided it, I couldn’t help listening to their conversation.
They had the nerve to talk about their penis and the way they come up with all these silly names for it! They didn’t seem to care about the fact that I was right there. Uuuhm, in fact they were doing it on purpose so I could hear them? What in the world was going through their minds? Maybe they just wanted to pull my leg.
Who knows but I almost spit my juice out when I heard the endless list of names. I kept giving them weird looks on purpose hoping that they would just shut up but they didn’t! So much for the “conservative” culture in Guadalajara huh!? That is one of the most contradicting things to debate about, when people say they are very conservative and they hide behind this “mask of culture” They deprive themselves from expressing their feelings in public yet many individuals live a double life. They hide their actions, they much rather do that than express their true feelings and instincts.
To make the long and boring story short, I immediately got my notebook and pen out so these are some of the names I was able to catch, my recorder would’ve been a lot more useful so I could share it or upload it and people would believe me; “Pancho Villa” - because it’s always ready to shoot, “anaconda,” - because when it is in heat, it grows bigger and bigger, “el Capitan,” - because it’s always in charge, “Ibuprofen,” - because there isn’t any better cure for a headache, “Godzilla,” “Pelotas y bate,” “el micrófono,” “el francotirador” - hitman because it never misses the target, “Rambo,” “herramienta,” the tool, “el niño,” - the boy, “el bombero,” -because it always wears a helmet and it puts every fire out, “mandarria,” I have no clue of what this means! “Winchester,” “control machete,” “mi mejor amigo para atacar al enemigo,” – my best friend to attack the enemy, etc.
The next couple of times I run into guys at a restaurant I won’t help and wonder what the subject of their conversation will be, perhaps I’ll bring my earplugs or I’ll listen to them and write about it………….. I guess I´ll stick to the second option.