Recently right after having conducted let’s say a questionnaire to find out who is closer and more warm Mexican or American families, I confirmed many things that I’d experienced coming from a Mexican family. One of the many reasons why foreigners love Mexico is because of the warmth of Mexican people; they are very close knit but sometimes so much closeness can be suffocating. In the U.S. people are colder, more distant, more plain and independent, they have more freedom, and they are more expressive, they aren’t afraid to show their real feelings. On the other hand, Mexicans don’t’ say a whole lot with words, they project feelings with actions, they always come through for each other in times of need although this may not always be the case because they are afraid to show their true emotions, they feel that their “weak side” is going to show the idiot inside them and someone may take advantage of them. For Mexican women everything else comes before her, her parents, her job, her husband and children when she gets married. For a Mexican macho it is detrimental to be sensitive because he’s afraid that people will be able to see right through him and a moment of weakness is not acceptable in this macho ruled society. I’ve always gotten this tingling sensation with the idea of them wearing a mask hiding their real selves behind it and this poem by Charles C. Finn Really hit home when I read it. I could see right through many Mexicans for we are a cage of our own making.
Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
Masks that I’m afraid to take off,
And none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that’s the second nature with me,
But don’t be fooled.
For God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
That is all sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
Ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic and at the thought of my weakness and fear
Being exposed
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
A nonchalant sophisticated facade,
To help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope and I know it.
That is if it’s followed by acceptance,
it is followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
From my own self-built prison walls,
From the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t
Assure myself,
That I am really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare. I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
Will not be followed by love.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh,
And your laugh would kill me.
I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing, that I’m jst
No good,
And that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
With a facade of assurance without
And a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
And my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s really nothing,
And nothing of what’s everything,
Of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine,
Do not be fooled by what I’m saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying,
What I’d like to be able to say,
But what I can’t say.
I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want o be genuine and spontaneous and me,
But you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand
Even when that’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the
Breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you’re kind and gentle and encouraging,
Each time you try to understand because you really care,
My heart begins to grow wings,
Very small wings,
Very feeble wins,
But wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling
You can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
How you can be a creator – a honest-to-God creator –
Of the person that is me
If you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
You alone can remove my mask,
You alone can release me from y shadow-world
of panic and uncertainty, from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to. Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach me
The blinder I may strike back.
It’s irrational, but despite what the books say about man,
Often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing that I can cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls,
And in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
With firm hands
For a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every Mexican you meet
And I am every human being in the world
who escapes from his own reality.
Spirituality, family, work and business ethics, health and fitness, charity work, reading, playing with words, reflecting and embracing the simplicity of life...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
A Writer is
A Writer is
Sunday June 20th, 2010
10:30
Gina Roman
I am 100% sure that every time I go back and read this post I will be horrified and I will feel majorly guilty about not complying with my duties as a writer.
I can’t bear the thought of not updating my blog more often! Like I always thought, writing on a blog develops someone’s personality so when I miss out a week or two without adding a post, when there are ten idle days in between posts, it sabotages my image and character as an individual in different ways.
One day can go by, another one and it won’t long before ten or fifteen days and writing is left on the back burner.
I had a few goals this year and one of them was to write 250 words per day so by the end of the year I’d have a whole book.
So I pondered on what makes a good writer? What are some qualities the best writers rely on? I need some encouraging words to get my momentum.
I carved down on a few ideas and I also ran a survey, I asked random people on the street. When they think of a writer, describe what he/she is like? What makes him/her be good at his work?
Intelligent, broad knowledge, huge imagination, introverted, quiet, conservative, observative, meticulous, creative, cultivated, an expert at what he does, disciplined, organized, surrounded by nature and books, has travelled the world, elegant, likes to drink wine, young personality focused, sets good example to the world, makes his dreams come true, adorable, beautiful, fat, laid back, tall, drinks coffee, lives by a lake, lonely, he enjoys being alone, meditates, calm, curious, mature, sensible, sensitive, introspective, analytical, reflective, selective, straight forward, bold, elegant, well-mannered, investigator, multicultural, multilingual, smokes, modest, balanced, private, discreet personality, old, has a moustache and long beard, productive, popular, connoisseur, curly hair, timid, kind hearted, short, doesn’t like to do exercise, likes to read, creates stories from what he reads, lives in a condo, smells good, likes to take naps, expresses feelings through his writing, reflective, likes to meditate, open minded, well informed in every aspects in life, creator, powerful mind, motivated.
Sunday June 20th, 2010
10:30
Gina Roman
I am 100% sure that every time I go back and read this post I will be horrified and I will feel majorly guilty about not complying with my duties as a writer.
I can’t bear the thought of not updating my blog more often! Like I always thought, writing on a blog develops someone’s personality so when I miss out a week or two without adding a post, when there are ten idle days in between posts, it sabotages my image and character as an individual in different ways.
One day can go by, another one and it won’t long before ten or fifteen days and writing is left on the back burner.
I had a few goals this year and one of them was to write 250 words per day so by the end of the year I’d have a whole book.
So I pondered on what makes a good writer? What are some qualities the best writers rely on? I need some encouraging words to get my momentum.
I carved down on a few ideas and I also ran a survey, I asked random people on the street. When they think of a writer, describe what he/she is like? What makes him/her be good at his work?
Intelligent, broad knowledge, huge imagination, introverted, quiet, conservative, observative, meticulous, creative, cultivated, an expert at what he does, disciplined, organized, surrounded by nature and books, has travelled the world, elegant, likes to drink wine, young personality focused, sets good example to the world, makes his dreams come true, adorable, beautiful, fat, laid back, tall, drinks coffee, lives by a lake, lonely, he enjoys being alone, meditates, calm, curious, mature, sensible, sensitive, introspective, analytical, reflective, selective, straight forward, bold, elegant, well-mannered, investigator, multicultural, multilingual, smokes, modest, balanced, private, discreet personality, old, has a moustache and long beard, productive, popular, connoisseur, curly hair, timid, kind hearted, short, doesn’t like to do exercise, likes to read, creates stories from what he reads, lives in a condo, smells good, likes to take naps, expresses feelings through his writing, reflective, likes to meditate, open minded, well informed in every aspects in life, creator, powerful mind, motivated.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
“Who says that Mexicans are poor?”
Sunday June 6, 2010
Staring at my computer screen as I type, I am lacking concentration because of a big issue I came across with related to hacienda (the IRS), I missed the deadline to file my income tax return since one of my clients from last year refused to give me my constacias (w-2 forms) so I can’t seem to generate clear thoughts as much as I would like to, my mind is more concentrated on what I need to do in order to avoid being fined and thinking that I had never in my life had to pay so much money on tax fees. I don’t know how it works for foreigners working with an fm-2 or fm-3, I am working as a Mexican so before you panic, you might want to find out the full details.
But as we speak about taxes, I came across these interesting facts while looking for something else. This circulated all of Mexico in 2007, before the economy crashed.
“Who says that Mexicans are poor?”
One time a Mexican man living in Mexico emailed another Mexican man living in the U. S. to inquire why Mexicans are poor.
The Mexican man in the U. S. replied,
“Jose,
I can tell right away that you can’t see the trees because of the forest. How can you call yourself “poor” when you able to pay more than double than I do for a cubic meter of water? When you have the luxury of paying 60% more on electricity and phone services than what I pay? When Mexico is on the top five world-wide with highest electricity and phone service fees?
Or when I pay 20, 000 USD for a car and you are able to pay $38,000? You are able to give away $18,000 dollars to the government and we aren’t! Freaking Pepe, I don’t get you!
We residents of Florida are the poor ones, that’s why the state government bears in mind our economic situation and only charges us 2“% of VAT (Value Added Tax), plus another federal tax which is 4%, a total of 6%. On the other hand, you wealthy Mexicans living in Mexico have to pay 16%
On top of that you pay for “luxury taxes” such as the IEPS, (for alchohol, cigarettes, cigars, beer and wine, etc,) which reaches 120% of the original value and other taxes like ISR (Impuesto sobre utilidades y sueldos), utility and salary tax, ISAN (Impuesto sobre automoviles nuevos), tax when buying a new vehicle.
IMPUESTO AL ACTIVO, (impuesto a los bienes de las empresas), corporate tax,
IMPUESTO A LOS INVENTARIOS, (impuesto a las mercancías de las empresas), inventory tax fee,
TENENCIAS, (impuesto por uso de automóvil), tax for owning a vehicle,
2% s/NOMINA,(impuesto al valor de nómina de las empresas), 2% payroll tax,
2% s/HOSPEDAJE; (impuesto adicional por renta de habitación hotelera) 2% additional lodging fee.
You are very fortunate because you can even pay IVA (Value Added Tax) on top of all those taxes.
If you weren’t wealthy, wouldn’t you find it pointless to have such high tax fees?
Porque si ustedes no fueran ricos, ¿qué sentido tendría tener unos impuestos de ese calibre?
So are you really poor? Not in the least!
A country like Mexico that charges ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) in advance. It has to definitely be swimming in abundance because it thinks that the nation’s business and its residents will always generate earnings and of course as your name describes it, “Wealthy.”
We are the poor ones because we don’t pay ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) if we make less than $3,000 USD a month per person – an average of 35,000.00 pesos.
In Mexico you pay for prívate pólice service, on the other hand, we have to conform with public police services.
You even send your children to private schools and damn are we poor here in the U. S.! Public schools lent us their books since we don’t have the financial means to buy them.
Allí hasta envían a los hijos a colegios privados y mira si seremos pobres aquí en EE.UU., que las escuelas publicas te
Sometimes I am amazed at Mexican’s wealth when they are able to pay at least 38% interest rate for a simple loan.
That means wealth!
It’s not like here, we barely pay 8% (7.8% for the most part) because we cannot afford to pay more.
I’m assuming that just like all the wealthy people there you own a car and you are paying 8 or 10% annual insurance. Just so you know I only pay $345 USD a year.
¡¡¡ ESO ES SER RICO!!!
No como aquí, que apenas llegamos al 8% (generalmente 7.8%), justamente porque NO estamos en condiciones de pagar más.
Supongo que, como todo rico, tienes un carro y que estás pagando un 8 o 10% anual de seguro; si te sirve de información, yo pago solo US $ 345 por año.
You must have all this extra Money if you can make annual payments of about $1,000 USD for this so called thing called “Tenencia.” Meanwhile here we can’t afford to have that luxury so we only pay 15USD for the sticker, it doesn’t matter what kind of car we drive. Of course that is only for people who have a limited budget, we don’t manage those large money flows that you Mexicans do.
do the math.
Who is the wealthy one and who is the poor one?
And finally, more than 20% of people in Mexico are unemployed.
Here there’s only a 4% unemployment rate.
Don’t you agree that being unemployed is a luxury that only the wealthy can give themselves?
Come on brother!
You stayed in Mexico because you are wealthy! Only the poor ones like me are the ones who went to try our luck somewhere else.
I was also told that citizens pay the Federal, State and the Municipal Government a huge amount of money.
I am very jealous! That’s what it’s like to live surrounded by wealth!
Well Pepe,
Let me know how you are doing with next year’s budget. One thing for sure though, is that you will have to pay more tax fees. But well, it doesn’t really matter when you have all this money to pay.
Sincerely,
Your poor immigrant friend
Staring at my computer screen as I type, I am lacking concentration because of a big issue I came across with related to hacienda (the IRS), I missed the deadline to file my income tax return since one of my clients from last year refused to give me my constacias (w-2 forms) so I can’t seem to generate clear thoughts as much as I would like to, my mind is more concentrated on what I need to do in order to avoid being fined and thinking that I had never in my life had to pay so much money on tax fees. I don’t know how it works for foreigners working with an fm-2 or fm-3, I am working as a Mexican so before you panic, you might want to find out the full details.
But as we speak about taxes, I came across these interesting facts while looking for something else. This circulated all of Mexico in 2007, before the economy crashed.
“Who says that Mexicans are poor?”
One time a Mexican man living in Mexico emailed another Mexican man living in the U. S. to inquire why Mexicans are poor.
The Mexican man in the U. S. replied,
“Jose,
I can tell right away that you can’t see the trees because of the forest. How can you call yourself “poor” when you able to pay more than double than I do for a cubic meter of water? When you have the luxury of paying 60% more on electricity and phone services than what I pay? When Mexico is on the top five world-wide with highest electricity and phone service fees?
Or when I pay 20, 000 USD for a car and you are able to pay $38,000? You are able to give away $18,000 dollars to the government and we aren’t! Freaking Pepe, I don’t get you!
We residents of Florida are the poor ones, that’s why the state government bears in mind our economic situation and only charges us 2“% of VAT (Value Added Tax), plus another federal tax which is 4%, a total of 6%. On the other hand, you wealthy Mexicans living in Mexico have to pay 16%
On top of that you pay for “luxury taxes” such as the IEPS, (for alchohol, cigarettes, cigars, beer and wine, etc,) which reaches 120% of the original value and other taxes like ISR (Impuesto sobre utilidades y sueldos), utility and salary tax, ISAN (Impuesto sobre automoviles nuevos), tax when buying a new vehicle.
IMPUESTO AL ACTIVO, (impuesto a los bienes de las empresas), corporate tax,
IMPUESTO A LOS INVENTARIOS, (impuesto a las mercancías de las empresas), inventory tax fee,
TENENCIAS, (impuesto por uso de automóvil), tax for owning a vehicle,
2% s/NOMINA,(impuesto al valor de nómina de las empresas), 2% payroll tax,
2% s/HOSPEDAJE; (impuesto adicional por renta de habitación hotelera) 2% additional lodging fee.
You are very fortunate because you can even pay IVA (Value Added Tax) on top of all those taxes.
If you weren’t wealthy, wouldn’t you find it pointless to have such high tax fees?
Porque si ustedes no fueran ricos, ¿qué sentido tendría tener unos impuestos de ese calibre?
So are you really poor? Not in the least!
A country like Mexico that charges ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) in advance. It has to definitely be swimming in abundance because it thinks that the nation’s business and its residents will always generate earnings and of course as your name describes it, “Wealthy.”
We are the poor ones because we don’t pay ISR (Impuesto Sobre la Renta) if we make less than $3,000 USD a month per person – an average of 35,000.00 pesos.
In Mexico you pay for prívate pólice service, on the other hand, we have to conform with public police services.
You even send your children to private schools and damn are we poor here in the U. S.! Public schools lent us their books since we don’t have the financial means to buy them.
Allí hasta envían a los hijos a colegios privados y mira si seremos pobres aquí en EE.UU., que las escuelas publicas te
Sometimes I am amazed at Mexican’s wealth when they are able to pay at least 38% interest rate for a simple loan.
That means wealth!
It’s not like here, we barely pay 8% (7.8% for the most part) because we cannot afford to pay more.
I’m assuming that just like all the wealthy people there you own a car and you are paying 8 or 10% annual insurance. Just so you know I only pay $345 USD a year.
¡¡¡ ESO ES SER RICO!!!
No como aquí, que apenas llegamos al 8% (generalmente 7.8%), justamente porque NO estamos en condiciones de pagar más.
Supongo que, como todo rico, tienes un carro y que estás pagando un 8 o 10% anual de seguro; si te sirve de información, yo pago solo US $ 345 por año.
You must have all this extra Money if you can make annual payments of about $1,000 USD for this so called thing called “Tenencia.” Meanwhile here we can’t afford to have that luxury so we only pay 15USD for the sticker, it doesn’t matter what kind of car we drive. Of course that is only for people who have a limited budget, we don’t manage those large money flows that you Mexicans do.
do the math.
Who is the wealthy one and who is the poor one?
And finally, more than 20% of people in Mexico are unemployed.
Here there’s only a 4% unemployment rate.
Don’t you agree that being unemployed is a luxury that only the wealthy can give themselves?
Come on brother!
You stayed in Mexico because you are wealthy! Only the poor ones like me are the ones who went to try our luck somewhere else.
I was also told that citizens pay the Federal, State and the Municipal Government a huge amount of money.
I am very jealous! That’s what it’s like to live surrounded by wealth!
Well Pepe,
Let me know how you are doing with next year’s budget. One thing for sure though, is that you will have to pay more tax fees. But well, it doesn’t really matter when you have all this money to pay.
Sincerely,
Your poor immigrant friend
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Soccer rules for women
The entire world is watching the clock tick at the countdown for the world cup that is exactly 10 days away. Let’s picture the turmoil in a few days, what will be it like for all those soccer lovers? All I know is that we women won’t get much attention from the men because their whole world will revolve around tv. Mexico is known for being one of the top soccer fans worldwide, even more so Guadalajara.
People here are very loyal to their home team “Las Chivas rayadas” the stripped goats or el “rebaño sagrado” The sacred herd. It’s always nice to get a good laugh about how passionate people are and how some individuals get into heated arguments about who the best team is. If you ask a “Chilango,” a person from Mexico City or someone unsophisticated from the sticks now living in Mexico City, they will tell you that Los Pumas, their home team is the best. And if you ask a “Jalisquillo,” a derogatory term for someone in Jalisco, they will tell you that “las chivas” are the best.
Little did I know about this long going rivalry between chivas and pumas until about 4 years ago when I had just arrived, I hopped on the subway wearing a pumas shirt not realizing that chivas and pumas were playing that day at estadio Jalisco. I was very distracted so I didn’t pay attention to the person next to me wearing a chivas shirt. A few seconds later I turned to my right, I saw another person wearing a chivas shirt, I turned to my left and somebody else wearing a chivas shirt, I lookep up and and the same thing, soon I realized that everybody’s eyes were piercing right through my pumas shirt. All I did was smile and wait patiently until my stop came. I could just see someone coming up to me and punching me so I was relieved when I got out of there.
This is what goes on when the world cup takes place like in the last World Cup, I saw in the news that many people did whatever it took to go. Some people sold their cars and houses without caring about their spouses, some got loans. Some slept on the streets when they arrived to Germany because they couldn’t afford a hotel. It is amazing to see what barbarities some people are willing to do for soccer.
I can relate to that passion because when I was a teenager I loved soccer. Growing up surrounded by soccer fans, I started playing co-ed when I was 18, I used to sneak out on my parents to go to the games in Oakland or San Franciso, I got back home at the early hours of the morning and when they asked why I had gotten home that late, I’d tell them that I was at a friend’s house studying for a midterm or final exam. I don’t know if they ever bough it but I didn’t give a damn because I had already gone anyway and they had two options, be angry at me and scold me all they wanted knowing that it would happen again or let it go and so they chose the second option. I never understood why people especially men were so passionate about soccer and their blood boiled when it came to picking up fights for the even the slightest rub from another player in the middle of a game.
Many important soccer rules are still stuck in my mind to this day, in fact I thought I had them all narrowed down and I prided myself of knowing “so much.” But I never realized that there are more rules and standards for women when it comes to soccer.
This list of rules applies to all the women out there; single, married, lovers, friends, girlfriends, mothers, etc, From June 11 to July 11 2010 – the duration of the 2010 World Cup keep this in mind.
1) Do the grocery shopping outside of a game and/or repetition time – no exceptions apply.
2) Read the sports section so we have something to talk about, or else don’t be surprised if all we don’t talk to you the whole month.
3) The tv will be mine and only mine for the next thirty days, 24/7 without exception. Don’t even dare coming close to the remote control.
4) If you have to pass in front of the tv during a match, you can do so as long as you crawl, don’t distract, interrupt or make any noise.
5) Bear in mind that during the games I am, deaf, blind and mute. Do not expect me to listen to you, look at you, open the door or much less answer the phone. I won’t check on the weeping child that just fell off the second floor, I won’t do the shopping, put off the fire in the kitchen, I will not do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL!
6) You must provide an ice box full of beer and you will smile to all my friends that come over for a few hours to watch the game. In exchange to this you will be able to watch tv at 4 in the morning as long as there aren’t any repetitions.
7) If you notice I’m upset because Brazil is losing, don’t tell me “it is not a big deal” or “they will win for sure.” That will only upset me even more!
8) If you can sit down and watch a game with me, you will only be able to talk to me during commercials or halftime. Or when you don’t see any players on the screen. Don’t make any comments and do not abuse! Don’t expose yourself!
9) The goal repetitions are extremely important. It doesn’t matter whether we already saw them or not or I’ve memorized them, I want to see them many times. Is that clear?
10) Your deer friends better not get married, baptize their children, celebrate their anniversaries, get sick, put on get togethers or dinners and much less visit us during the semi-finals or the final because you will only hear three answers from us. I won’t go, I won’t go and I will not go!
11) But if a friend invites us to watch the match at a bar or at his place, we will not decline his invitation under any circumstances! We will go without hesitating even if he calls us at the last minute so if you are not ready on time, you will stay home!
12) The late night reviews are just as important as the match itself so don’t even say “but you already saw it, why don’t you change the channel?” or “Don’t you get bored watching the same thing over and over?” You know the answer; No, no and no!
13) On the opening and final days, you must prepare a very exquisite snack, buy beer and send the children to your mother’s house but you have to stay home so you can serve our snacks and you must remain silent at all times.
14) And last but not least, save yourself from making comments like; “I am so glad that the World Cup is every four years!” Be glad that it only lasts one month, I am immune to all those back handed comments and just to let you know, there’s the Champions League, Copa Libertadores, South American Cup, the Italian and Spanish Leagues, the NBA, and the elections for the next World Cup.
People here are very loyal to their home team “Las Chivas rayadas” the stripped goats or el “rebaño sagrado” The sacred herd. It’s always nice to get a good laugh about how passionate people are and how some individuals get into heated arguments about who the best team is. If you ask a “Chilango,” a person from Mexico City or someone unsophisticated from the sticks now living in Mexico City, they will tell you that Los Pumas, their home team is the best. And if you ask a “Jalisquillo,” a derogatory term for someone in Jalisco, they will tell you that “las chivas” are the best.
Little did I know about this long going rivalry between chivas and pumas until about 4 years ago when I had just arrived, I hopped on the subway wearing a pumas shirt not realizing that chivas and pumas were playing that day at estadio Jalisco. I was very distracted so I didn’t pay attention to the person next to me wearing a chivas shirt. A few seconds later I turned to my right, I saw another person wearing a chivas shirt, I turned to my left and somebody else wearing a chivas shirt, I lookep up and and the same thing, soon I realized that everybody’s eyes were piercing right through my pumas shirt. All I did was smile and wait patiently until my stop came. I could just see someone coming up to me and punching me so I was relieved when I got out of there.
This is what goes on when the world cup takes place like in the last World Cup, I saw in the news that many people did whatever it took to go. Some people sold their cars and houses without caring about their spouses, some got loans. Some slept on the streets when they arrived to Germany because they couldn’t afford a hotel. It is amazing to see what barbarities some people are willing to do for soccer.
I can relate to that passion because when I was a teenager I loved soccer. Growing up surrounded by soccer fans, I started playing co-ed when I was 18, I used to sneak out on my parents to go to the games in Oakland or San Franciso, I got back home at the early hours of the morning and when they asked why I had gotten home that late, I’d tell them that I was at a friend’s house studying for a midterm or final exam. I don’t know if they ever bough it but I didn’t give a damn because I had already gone anyway and they had two options, be angry at me and scold me all they wanted knowing that it would happen again or let it go and so they chose the second option. I never understood why people especially men were so passionate about soccer and their blood boiled when it came to picking up fights for the even the slightest rub from another player in the middle of a game.
Many important soccer rules are still stuck in my mind to this day, in fact I thought I had them all narrowed down and I prided myself of knowing “so much.” But I never realized that there are more rules and standards for women when it comes to soccer.
This list of rules applies to all the women out there; single, married, lovers, friends, girlfriends, mothers, etc, From June 11 to July 11 2010 – the duration of the 2010 World Cup keep this in mind.
1) Do the grocery shopping outside of a game and/or repetition time – no exceptions apply.
2) Read the sports section so we have something to talk about, or else don’t be surprised if all we don’t talk to you the whole month.
3) The tv will be mine and only mine for the next thirty days, 24/7 without exception. Don’t even dare coming close to the remote control.
4) If you have to pass in front of the tv during a match, you can do so as long as you crawl, don’t distract, interrupt or make any noise.
5) Bear in mind that during the games I am, deaf, blind and mute. Do not expect me to listen to you, look at you, open the door or much less answer the phone. I won’t check on the weeping child that just fell off the second floor, I won’t do the shopping, put off the fire in the kitchen, I will not do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL!
6) You must provide an ice box full of beer and you will smile to all my friends that come over for a few hours to watch the game. In exchange to this you will be able to watch tv at 4 in the morning as long as there aren’t any repetitions.
7) If you notice I’m upset because Brazil is losing, don’t tell me “it is not a big deal” or “they will win for sure.” That will only upset me even more!
8) If you can sit down and watch a game with me, you will only be able to talk to me during commercials or halftime. Or when you don’t see any players on the screen. Don’t make any comments and do not abuse! Don’t expose yourself!
9) The goal repetitions are extremely important. It doesn’t matter whether we already saw them or not or I’ve memorized them, I want to see them many times. Is that clear?
10) Your deer friends better not get married, baptize their children, celebrate their anniversaries, get sick, put on get togethers or dinners and much less visit us during the semi-finals or the final because you will only hear three answers from us. I won’t go, I won’t go and I will not go!
11) But if a friend invites us to watch the match at a bar or at his place, we will not decline his invitation under any circumstances! We will go without hesitating even if he calls us at the last minute so if you are not ready on time, you will stay home!
12) The late night reviews are just as important as the match itself so don’t even say “but you already saw it, why don’t you change the channel?” or “Don’t you get bored watching the same thing over and over?” You know the answer; No, no and no!
13) On the opening and final days, you must prepare a very exquisite snack, buy beer and send the children to your mother’s house but you have to stay home so you can serve our snacks and you must remain silent at all times.
14) And last but not least, save yourself from making comments like; “I am so glad that the World Cup is every four years!” Be glad that it only lasts one month, I am immune to all those back handed comments and just to let you know, there’s the Champions League, Copa Libertadores, South American Cup, the Italian and Spanish Leagues, the NBA, and the elections for the next World Cup.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
“Comfort zone”
I just typed up a whole book but it erased so I won’t spend too much time doing the whole thing again, I´ll only point out a few important things about Alianza de Mujeres “Alliance of women” a meeting I attended last Thursday and I’ll share some words that will help everyone reflect.
Looking back at the 70’s, 80,s and recent years women’s right weren’t promoted as much as they’ve been the last few years. The Mexican government is now encouraging women to work out of their homes and reach their professional goals. Even though we still have a long way to go, things have evolved slowly but surely and I am very fortunate to be part of life now, I don’t know what it would’ve been like for me many years ago. The closest I can get is to older women telling stories of how repressed they were when they were growing up in the 1930's, 1940's 1950's.
As a woman I know that we have to face a thousand challenges in and out of our homes every day and Alianza de Mujeres is there to walk with us hand in hand and show us a world full of opportunities for us. Our guest Licenciado Jorge Aguilar Sahagun took the risk to talk to us about many advantages and disadvantages of being a woman. I have to say that he was very blunt but I’d rather him be straight forward than lie. Not every woman there agreed though, I could see some heads nodding in shock and disagreement but he made it clear from the beginning that he wasn’t there to please anyone or much less to befriend anyone.
One of the comments most of the ladies there liked was when he said that many people tend to stay stuck in a comfort zone, we are full of good intentions but we leave everything for “mañana” tomorrow, we have endless excuses for everything.
I can recall many more things but it’s getting late and I’ve had a long day today, plus (excuses, excuses, excuses) I can’t miss my morning run tomorrow so I have to get my beauty sleep and re-energize.
“Comfort zone”
I used to have a “comfort zone”
Where I knew I couldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busy work
Were really more like jail.
I longed so much, to do the things
I’ve never done before,
But I stayed inside my comfort zone”
And paced the same old floor.
I said it didn’t matter
That I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things
Like houses, freedom and such.
I claimed to be busy with
The things inside the “Zone”
But deep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.
I couldn’t let my life go by
Just watching others win!
I held my breath and stepped outside
To let the chances begin!
I took a step and with new strength
I’ve never felt before,
I kissed my “Comfort Zone” good-bye
And closed and locked the door!
If you are in a “comfort Zone”
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile;
Success is there for YOU!!
Somebody is always winning
It might as well be YOU!!
Looking back at the 70’s, 80,s and recent years women’s right weren’t promoted as much as they’ve been the last few years. The Mexican government is now encouraging women to work out of their homes and reach their professional goals. Even though we still have a long way to go, things have evolved slowly but surely and I am very fortunate to be part of life now, I don’t know what it would’ve been like for me many years ago. The closest I can get is to older women telling stories of how repressed they were when they were growing up in the 1930's, 1940's 1950's.
As a woman I know that we have to face a thousand challenges in and out of our homes every day and Alianza de Mujeres is there to walk with us hand in hand and show us a world full of opportunities for us. Our guest Licenciado Jorge Aguilar Sahagun took the risk to talk to us about many advantages and disadvantages of being a woman. I have to say that he was very blunt but I’d rather him be straight forward than lie. Not every woman there agreed though, I could see some heads nodding in shock and disagreement but he made it clear from the beginning that he wasn’t there to please anyone or much less to befriend anyone.
One of the comments most of the ladies there liked was when he said that many people tend to stay stuck in a comfort zone, we are full of good intentions but we leave everything for “mañana” tomorrow, we have endless excuses for everything.
I can recall many more things but it’s getting late and I’ve had a long day today, plus (excuses, excuses, excuses) I can’t miss my morning run tomorrow so I have to get my beauty sleep and re-energize.
“Comfort zone”
I used to have a “comfort zone”
Where I knew I couldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busy work
Were really more like jail.
I longed so much, to do the things
I’ve never done before,
But I stayed inside my comfort zone”
And paced the same old floor.
I said it didn’t matter
That I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things
Like houses, freedom and such.
I claimed to be busy with
The things inside the “Zone”
But deep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.
I couldn’t let my life go by
Just watching others win!
I held my breath and stepped outside
To let the chances begin!
I took a step and with new strength
I’ve never felt before,
I kissed my “Comfort Zone” good-bye
And closed and locked the door!
If you are in a “comfort Zone”
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile;
Success is there for YOU!!
Somebody is always winning
It might as well be YOU!!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Culture Shock
If you are expecting life and everything in Guadalajara to be exactly the same as it is in your own country, you need to wake up and smell the coffee because that is not going to happen in a million years. When moving to another country you have to be prepared mentally, physically, culturally and you have to be well aware that there will be many ups and downs and disappointments to face. At times you will feel like taking the first plane back home but it is only a matter of adjusting so don’t be intimidated and take each strike as it comes.
Going as far back as uhm, last night. I was supposed to go out to dinner with a friend but he flaked out on me, he didn’t call to cancel, he didn’t text, didn’t send an email, nothing. I am not surprised because it has happened numerous times with everyone not only him. By now my mind is set to not get disappointed even though that is one of my biggest pet peeves because I play by the same rules with everyone, I don’t like doing anything I don’t like people doing to me. I am not upset because I wasn’t expecting anything, it was about meeting new people since I am always enslaved to work and establishing a friendship relationship, perhaps I should’ve made it clear but it slipped out like many things. By now I am used to coming across unpunctual, flaky, uninterested or just plain rude people who always tell me to relax and wonder why foreigners always go “by the book” What makes things worse is that most of those flakes call a few days or weeks later as if nothing had happened asking to meet again only so they can get another chance to leave you all dressed up with nowhere to go.
All those small differences are not such a huge culture shock to me because of my Mexican side, I’d say I am more Mexican than tamales and pozole but that is not what a friend of mine thinks, he once said to me, “You are very Mexican, only your last name and the color of your skin” and he laughed. I totally disagree with that, the fact of being dark skinned doesn’t guarantee that I am Mexican. When it comes to being on time when meeting someone I am very respectful with their time unlike many tapatios. I’ve experienced all these informalities ever since I can remember. The first person I know of doing that was my father, I despised it every time he’d say “dame 5 minutos,” give me 5 minutes. I later learned that for Mexicans 5 minutos can mean an hour, two, three, four, however long they may please. So now when I meet someone at any given moment I ask them, “are we meeting at 5pm (puntualidad Mexicana) real time or Mexico time?” only to clarify because I don’t like to waste my time sitting around waiting for people and I cannot play their game, I can never be late unless something goes wrong. Another few phrases I will always rant and rave about are, “ya veremos – we’ll see, relajate – relax, para que hacer planes? haber que sale – Why make plans?, we’ll play it by ear and see what happens.
When I came to Guadalajara I was under the wrong perception, I thought I’d forget my English because nobody spoke it here but little did I know that I was completely wrong! I use English for everything, teach, translate, write, I speak it with everyone. Sometimes I knock on my neighbor’s door to chat with her in Spanish because all my friends speak English! I tried to befriend a few people here but they were simply not interested. At the beginning I thought it was me, maybe I wasn’t projecting the right message so I discussed it with other foreigners and it’s happened to them as well I got a better scope of the whole enchilada. People are simply not interested in letting outsiders in “their circle.” Some say that it is culture, that they feel safer because there is so much crime happening in Mexico nowadays. Do they even come close to realizing that it’s human beings who make culture? It seems as if they wear a mask called culture and they hide behind it to dump all their excuses and insecurities behind.
I used to get extremely infuriated especially one time when my accountant was quite late one night when he was supposed to pick up some invoices at 7pm. I felt as if he was playing with my time and like if I wasn’t being taken seriously. 7:15, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, and 9:30 he didn’t show up. Finally at 10:00 the door bell rang and it was him! Needless to say I almost passed out because I was very angry. I picked up the receiver and told him to come back another day. He was not happy at all but at that point I didn't care.
I remember an American friend saying once, “I am becoming too much like the people here” when we were supposed to meet one weekend and he totally vanished, he didn't call me until the following Monday. I told him, to hell with that shit! that is not an excuse, I am Mexican and I don’t care how long I’ve been here or who does that, I always go by my rules when it comes to these things.
As I get older I’ve become more selective with many things in life, one of them is choosing who I spend time with and surround myself with serious and respectful people because it is my time being put at stake, it is very valuable and nobody will give it back to me.
This also reminds me of the institution where I did volunteer work last year and I’m still working on a project with them. I always wanted to have a library at my place but I thought, “why not do it for somebody else?”
I made all the arrangements, talked to bookstores to donate us books, finally I got the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro) to do it, they agreed immediately but the institution is always making excuses so the project keeps being put off, it’s been 8 months now and I feel powerless because it is not up to me. About a week and a half ago I emailed the coordinator to ask if the books had been delivered but she hasn’t replied. I am very disappointed because that is one of my lifetime projects and I had set myself a time goal. It’s hard for me to cope and I will never accept it but at the same time I can’t let them get to me.
Something many Mexicans as well as myself have to learn to say is “NO.” people here are frightened to say no, they always say, “yes, yes, yes!” to everything even if they are well aware that they can’t compromise. So they rather say yes to avoid hurting peoples' feelings but it is ironic and contradicting, they rather flake out, not call, not show up. Do they realize that is even worse? They always say it’s a “culture” thing. Once again they hide behind their masks. I’d much rather people tell me “no” to something they don’t want to do instead of lying but I can’t change people, change starts within and I am the only one I have control over so I don’t waste my time with people like that.
Going as far back as uhm, last night. I was supposed to go out to dinner with a friend but he flaked out on me, he didn’t call to cancel, he didn’t text, didn’t send an email, nothing. I am not surprised because it has happened numerous times with everyone not only him. By now my mind is set to not get disappointed even though that is one of my biggest pet peeves because I play by the same rules with everyone, I don’t like doing anything I don’t like people doing to me. I am not upset because I wasn’t expecting anything, it was about meeting new people since I am always enslaved to work and establishing a friendship relationship, perhaps I should’ve made it clear but it slipped out like many things. By now I am used to coming across unpunctual, flaky, uninterested or just plain rude people who always tell me to relax and wonder why foreigners always go “by the book” What makes things worse is that most of those flakes call a few days or weeks later as if nothing had happened asking to meet again only so they can get another chance to leave you all dressed up with nowhere to go.
All those small differences are not such a huge culture shock to me because of my Mexican side, I’d say I am more Mexican than tamales and pozole but that is not what a friend of mine thinks, he once said to me, “You are very Mexican, only your last name and the color of your skin” and he laughed. I totally disagree with that, the fact of being dark skinned doesn’t guarantee that I am Mexican. When it comes to being on time when meeting someone I am very respectful with their time unlike many tapatios. I’ve experienced all these informalities ever since I can remember. The first person I know of doing that was my father, I despised it every time he’d say “dame 5 minutos,” give me 5 minutes. I later learned that for Mexicans 5 minutos can mean an hour, two, three, four, however long they may please. So now when I meet someone at any given moment I ask them, “are we meeting at 5pm (puntualidad Mexicana) real time or Mexico time?” only to clarify because I don’t like to waste my time sitting around waiting for people and I cannot play their game, I can never be late unless something goes wrong. Another few phrases I will always rant and rave about are, “ya veremos – we’ll see, relajate – relax, para que hacer planes? haber que sale – Why make plans?, we’ll play it by ear and see what happens.
When I came to Guadalajara I was under the wrong perception, I thought I’d forget my English because nobody spoke it here but little did I know that I was completely wrong! I use English for everything, teach, translate, write, I speak it with everyone. Sometimes I knock on my neighbor’s door to chat with her in Spanish because all my friends speak English! I tried to befriend a few people here but they were simply not interested. At the beginning I thought it was me, maybe I wasn’t projecting the right message so I discussed it with other foreigners and it’s happened to them as well I got a better scope of the whole enchilada. People are simply not interested in letting outsiders in “their circle.” Some say that it is culture, that they feel safer because there is so much crime happening in Mexico nowadays. Do they even come close to realizing that it’s human beings who make culture? It seems as if they wear a mask called culture and they hide behind it to dump all their excuses and insecurities behind.
I used to get extremely infuriated especially one time when my accountant was quite late one night when he was supposed to pick up some invoices at 7pm. I felt as if he was playing with my time and like if I wasn’t being taken seriously. 7:15, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, and 9:30 he didn’t show up. Finally at 10:00 the door bell rang and it was him! Needless to say I almost passed out because I was very angry. I picked up the receiver and told him to come back another day. He was not happy at all but at that point I didn't care.
I remember an American friend saying once, “I am becoming too much like the people here” when we were supposed to meet one weekend and he totally vanished, he didn't call me until the following Monday. I told him, to hell with that shit! that is not an excuse, I am Mexican and I don’t care how long I’ve been here or who does that, I always go by my rules when it comes to these things.
As I get older I’ve become more selective with many things in life, one of them is choosing who I spend time with and surround myself with serious and respectful people because it is my time being put at stake, it is very valuable and nobody will give it back to me.
This also reminds me of the institution where I did volunteer work last year and I’m still working on a project with them. I always wanted to have a library at my place but I thought, “why not do it for somebody else?”
I made all the arrangements, talked to bookstores to donate us books, finally I got the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro) to do it, they agreed immediately but the institution is always making excuses so the project keeps being put off, it’s been 8 months now and I feel powerless because it is not up to me. About a week and a half ago I emailed the coordinator to ask if the books had been delivered but she hasn’t replied. I am very disappointed because that is one of my lifetime projects and I had set myself a time goal. It’s hard for me to cope and I will never accept it but at the same time I can’t let them get to me.
Something many Mexicans as well as myself have to learn to say is “NO.” people here are frightened to say no, they always say, “yes, yes, yes!” to everything even if they are well aware that they can’t compromise. So they rather say yes to avoid hurting peoples' feelings but it is ironic and contradicting, they rather flake out, not call, not show up. Do they realize that is even worse? They always say it’s a “culture” thing. Once again they hide behind their masks. I’d much rather people tell me “no” to something they don’t want to do instead of lying but I can’t change people, change starts within and I am the only one I have control over so I don’t waste my time with people like that.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Booties
Gina Roman
May 23, 2010
Walking down the street on plain daylight the other day I came close to having a heart attack when this shameless daring young man in his early twenties, passed right by me with his arm stretched outright towards me, my back was facing him so I was unable to see his cruel intentions.
His arm landed right on my ass but not only was he happy with slapping it, he squeezed it really hard with both hands that I ended up getting two bruises on my butt cheeks. How could he miss the chance of “only” rubbing it when he could go further?
I’ve always wondered why people think that they just can cross someone’s line and touch other peoples’ bodies.
I can’t deny that the mere thought has crossed my mind a million times when I bump into a man with a nice bootie or when I happen to be driving and a cyclist passes by, I’ve always wanted to stretch out my arm and squeeze his buns but I will not do it because one of my many golden rules in life is not to do anything I don’t like to be done to me. There’s a famous quote by Benito Juarez one of Mexico’s presidents 1858-1872, “El respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz.” the respect to other people's rights is peace.
I hope it doesn’t happen again but I know that it will sooner or later, I am certain that almost every single woman has been through that so next time it happens I pray that it is a nice looking man and in that case whoever that smoking hot man is, we can negotiate it.
I don’t have a hard time controlling myself because there aren’t that many nice men’s booties to select from. Since I’ve been here I’ve only known three men with nice behinds, one of them was my trainer at a gym I used to work out at. He had an amazing round bubble butt; it takes back my memory to one day when we were training. We were standing in front of the mirror and he bent down to show me this butt exercise, I couldn’t help but glare at that humongous round thing right on my face. So I didn’t realize that he was looking right at me and he told me straight out “Look at my feet not at my ass!”
I was kind of embarrassed at first but then we both laughed, he knew that his butt caught many ladies eyes so he didn’t mind it at all.
The second butt belongs to a capoeira instructor ( I never even got his name) that I tried lessons with but I couldn’t concentrate. I only ended up taking two, maybe three classes because I couldn’t get all the moves together plus the lack of concentration didn’t allow me to take better advantage.
The third behind belongs to a dear friend of mine, it is hard not to stare at it because it is so nice and firm and it is just there.
One day we went to have dinner and the restaurant was upstairs so I was walking behind him and I made a comment, I can’t even recall what I said but he told me “well, don’t look at it!”
So I told him, “look dude, what am I supposed to do? It is right on my face, I can’t avoid staring at it, and at least I didn’t slap it or squeeze it!”
We still get a good laugh about it every time we remember that night.
So ladies if you are very visual like me, if you like men with nice booties Guadalajara isn’t the place to be, now for men it is another story because there are a lot of very voluptuous women out there to choose from. But my point is men so when I think of that extinguishable gender, one of the first things I notice about them is their butts, faces, arms and abs.
Not to mention the fact that there are many “men” with amazing bodies, like the other day I went to Angels – a gay bar with a few people, my female friends and I walked out of there all frustrated because we saw all these gorgeous guys making out with each other and they wouldn’t even pay attention to us.
That is one of the downsides for women in this city, but don’t let that scare you away, there are many pleasant things to do and enjoy.
May 23, 2010
Walking down the street on plain daylight the other day I came close to having a heart attack when this shameless daring young man in his early twenties, passed right by me with his arm stretched outright towards me, my back was facing him so I was unable to see his cruel intentions.
His arm landed right on my ass but not only was he happy with slapping it, he squeezed it really hard with both hands that I ended up getting two bruises on my butt cheeks. How could he miss the chance of “only” rubbing it when he could go further?
I’ve always wondered why people think that they just can cross someone’s line and touch other peoples’ bodies.
I can’t deny that the mere thought has crossed my mind a million times when I bump into a man with a nice bootie or when I happen to be driving and a cyclist passes by, I’ve always wanted to stretch out my arm and squeeze his buns but I will not do it because one of my many golden rules in life is not to do anything I don’t like to be done to me. There’s a famous quote by Benito Juarez one of Mexico’s presidents 1858-1872, “El respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz.” the respect to other people's rights is peace.
I hope it doesn’t happen again but I know that it will sooner or later, I am certain that almost every single woman has been through that so next time it happens I pray that it is a nice looking man and in that case whoever that smoking hot man is, we can negotiate it.
I don’t have a hard time controlling myself because there aren’t that many nice men’s booties to select from. Since I’ve been here I’ve only known three men with nice behinds, one of them was my trainer at a gym I used to work out at. He had an amazing round bubble butt; it takes back my memory to one day when we were training. We were standing in front of the mirror and he bent down to show me this butt exercise, I couldn’t help but glare at that humongous round thing right on my face. So I didn’t realize that he was looking right at me and he told me straight out “Look at my feet not at my ass!”
I was kind of embarrassed at first but then we both laughed, he knew that his butt caught many ladies eyes so he didn’t mind it at all.
The second butt belongs to a capoeira instructor ( I never even got his name) that I tried lessons with but I couldn’t concentrate. I only ended up taking two, maybe three classes because I couldn’t get all the moves together plus the lack of concentration didn’t allow me to take better advantage.
The third behind belongs to a dear friend of mine, it is hard not to stare at it because it is so nice and firm and it is just there.
One day we went to have dinner and the restaurant was upstairs so I was walking behind him and I made a comment, I can’t even recall what I said but he told me “well, don’t look at it!”
So I told him, “look dude, what am I supposed to do? It is right on my face, I can’t avoid staring at it, and at least I didn’t slap it or squeeze it!”
We still get a good laugh about it every time we remember that night.
So ladies if you are very visual like me, if you like men with nice booties Guadalajara isn’t the place to be, now for men it is another story because there are a lot of very voluptuous women out there to choose from. But my point is men so when I think of that extinguishable gender, one of the first things I notice about them is their butts, faces, arms and abs.
Not to mention the fact that there are many “men” with amazing bodies, like the other day I went to Angels – a gay bar with a few people, my female friends and I walked out of there all frustrated because we saw all these gorgeous guys making out with each other and they wouldn’t even pay attention to us.
That is one of the downsides for women in this city, but don’t let that scare you away, there are many pleasant things to do and enjoy.
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