The rain will never subside

The rain will never subside

February 13, 2018

By: Gina Yoryet Román

“Pain can change you, but that doesn´t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.”

  

That long-awaited day suddenly peered through my window on the morning of December 2, 2017. For the last three years I had been dreading this life-changing event more than anything. I was very doubtful for several personal reasons that I left in God’s hands. Despite that, I took a step forward and made it. I knew there would be challenges lying ahead, I knew some days I would wake up feeling homesick (for whatever that means because since an early stage of my life, I belonged nowhere), I was aware that my meager domestic skills would intimidate me and I’d feel like running away,  I understood that this 360 degree change would throw me off track momentarily, I recognized that sharing my life with someone on a day-to-day basis would be an invasion of my privacy, something that I cherished more and more with time, I realized that life and my time would NEVER be about me anymore. I was very apprehensive about all of this, but I didn’t come close to my reality once I set foot on this foreign ground.

It has been been ten weeks since that day and I am barely emerging out of that rubble of mixed emotions; fear, joy, anxiety, excitement, promise, but more than anything, fear of the unknown. I stood at an unaquainted cross-road without anywhere to go, or anyone to reach out to, but one person. That 360 degree change took a toll on me.

So one recent morning during a conversation with my sister, I told her, I have to really force myself to snap out of it and do some serious on my knees praying to get a hold of me. With this struggle I have learned that I am gaining knowledge, I am expanding my horizons further than I could ever fathom. But first and foremost, now I know that faith moves mountains. I’ve learned that my greatest strength has come amidst the most agonizing storm. Although I will NEVER be able to change some aspects from this world, and even though the rain may never subside, this can only make me more resilient. I, more than anyone else know that, character is developed amidst the darkness. 

“In the midst of winter,I finally learned that there was within me, an invincible summer.”

“En las profundidades del invierno, finalmente aprendí que en mí interior habitaba un verano invencible.”

Albert Camus