Hoc
tempore, alio tempore
This
time, another place
alio tempore , alio loco
another time, another place
July
23, 2016
By
Gina Yoryet Román
Throwback
to the last two years of my adolescence and all through my twenties. As I watch
my fingers type, I reminiscence about that stage when I met victory face to
face many times. In illo tempore each
time I was awarded with a medal, I prided myself on my ability to subdue my
body to have hard rock abs and very toned muscles all around. The physically
stronger I became, the “happier” I was, or so I thought! Years later, it
finally dawned on me that the more resilient my body became, the more I longed for
mental fortitude.
I never acknowledged it, nor did I take time to
open my heart to anyone about all or most of my high-intensity season meets and
competitions up in the mountains, at Howarth Park in Santa Rosa, on the
Sacramento River trail, at Mckinley park in Sacramento, on the San Francisco
Bay, at the stadium in Sacramento State College, on the track in Diablo Valley
College, or wherever we went all through the U. S., the harder I trained, the
more feeble my mind became. The more victories I gained, the more lacerated my
heart and soul grew because I neglected God’s presence. At that time I was oblivious
to the truth.
Amidst
that obscurity when la loca de la azotea
(the crazy woman upstairs - the mind) always ended up wreaking internal havoc. I
constantly prayed at “no avail.” Time after time, I asked God to manifest his
unconditional love to me by helping me find my way (really his way). I begged
him to reach out to me not based on my appearance, the color of my skin, my
social status, or failures, but based on the grounds of
being another one of his disoriented and imperfect children who longed to serve
his purpose.
I
questioned him, “what is my purpose, why am I here, what do you want from me,
why me, why here, why now, what next?” I told him, whatever you want from me,
guide me and bring me towards you. Please show me the way and mentor me to
develop and use my skills to benefit you, my community, my society, my family
and myself. If and when you make that happen, I will have finally understood my
meaning.
Yet,
those talks went “unanswered.”
Now I know why,
I denied myself from
sensing and seeing his direct, intense and clear presence. I kept telling myself, “I
have the right attire worthy of a competitive and professional athlete and I’ve
done quite well at keeping at a physically fitness level...yet I long for
mental fitness which is as equally important to compete for his glory. If my
head is not fully in him, I will always lose. Unquestionably I was
progressively working my way towards loss with my reluctance about who I was
brought up to be – a woman of faith.
All those years I was at
dire straits until 2008 when I was introduced to FSSP and met Father Romo. He
came to my life when I was still at a loss about my faith. After talking to him
and reigniting my relationship with God, I witnessed all my doubts slowly mitigating
because my past no longer clawed its way out. Now I know that silence has revealed the answers, and prayers have provided the solution. All
combined, they have drawn me towards what God was holding in store for me. All
along he wanted me to be his instrument. I can now see tomorrow in the eye and
be certain of the fact that something bigger and better was lying ahead, for me
to be used somewhere, somehow to use my abilities and share my knowledge with his people.
At this given time and
place, I am unbeknownst as to whether or not my mission has been fully
accomplished. However, I can be certain that my heart and soul are at peace and
ease because he has always manifested himself to me in many ways. But as the
rebel with “many” causes, like hurricane Georgette, I didn’t allow
him in!
As we wrapped up the Spanish
School Summer Program, my purpose was directly and clearly revealed to me through
each one of you when I was abruptly awakened at dawn one day. At last without a doubt, I can understand my mission. To serve God through FSSP wherever I am destined to be. Had I not had the blessing to
serve you, my spirit would have run dry!
We will miss you dearly!
God bless!
“The teaching profession is NOT simply a matter of
skill acquisition. It involves a process of personal deconstruction and reconstruction in dealing with each student and individual’s case, prior
history, needs, priorities and objectives. This means that I must constantly
evaluate my personal values, motives and goals, and I must be willing to make
any necessary positive changes in order to evolve as a profesional and improve
day by day in pursuance of delivering ethics, honesty, transparency and
knowledge. I can become highly skilled and educated, but SANS a genuine desire
to serve others, my career, one of my strongest profesional sustenances, would
eventually become an unbearable burden.
My goal is to genuinely be of assistance to
others, entice them and persuade them to reach towards a better and more
promising tomorrow to reach wholeness.
This is the effect of reciprocity – I am an
important element in the teaching field and I serve others through God and my
skills. In Exchange of that, I am at ease with myself professionally.
Furthermore, this reward propels me to strive for better.
Gina Yoryet Román
“I want to see, real, living, and in the hours of
my own days, that glory I create as an illusion. I want it real. I want to know
that there is someone, somewhere, who wants it, too. Or else what is the use of
seeing it, and working, and burning oneself for an impossible vision? A spirit,
too, needs fuel. It can run dry.”
Ayn Rand
“Real living is living for others. Realize that
anything you want in life can be obtained by helping others get what they
want.”